Obligatory disclaimer:Merlin and all associated creative properties belong to BBC. I don't claim any said property as my own, and I make no monetary profit from this fan-made story. All creative property not associated with said channel belong to me, and their use is limited to my express permission. Thank you.

Warning! this chapter has over 16k word. It's super long but I hope it wouldn't bore you.

Chapter 19 : End Of A Dream

Truth to be told, Morgana had always imagined Merlin knowing about what she had done. In those thoughts, she had tried to imagine his reactions; what he'd say and most importantly, what would he do.

In her mind, he'd always be angry and the image she had painted wasn't different from the one she was seeing with her eyes, in that particular moment.

However, never had she considered apologizing, yet she was able to surprise herself when she softly uttered the words. "I'm sorry."

The apology didn't seem to have the desirable effect on him, or any other effects for that matter. His posture remained tense, his features hard. And as he continued to stare penetratingly at her, the witch found herself saying them once more, her tone higher.

Despite the fact that had seen this side of Merlin before, and that she had witnessed first-hand how dangerous he could be, when he was in such stage of mind, the expecting woman believed that he wouldn't do her any harm.

And so, she found enough courage in herself, to take a small step in his direction.

Yet, when his hand shut up in the air, she instantly halted her advance.

"You lied to me." His tone was accusing and dangerously low.

Hearing that coming from his mouth, something inside of her, simply, snapped. It was like being drenched with cold water. An eerie feeling got hold of her heart and Morgana dumbly stared at him.

It took her a second to decipher the strange emotion and when she did, the once high priestess was suddenly….smirking.

"Lied to you?" She echoed, with voice laced with venom and mockery. Humourlessly, she laughed at the face he was making.

Moving around him, armed with a thing she had long let go of, Morgana shot him an amused glance before she started to the door. "At least now you know how I felt when I came to the knowledge that you had magic."

His face dropped for the smallest of seconds and it only made her smile widen.

Even though she wished to stay and enjoy that look on his face, Morgana spun on her heals and yanked the door open.

"This is not a game, Morgana, you should know better." He told her sternly.

And she was willing to admit that he was correct. The entire matter was far from a game; still, she shook her head and stepped on the threshold of their chambers. "Perhaps. But at least for now, we are even."

With that said, she moved a bit, and then she slammed that door shut.

The feeling of utter satisfaction was unfortunately shortly-lived. The sound of the door closing was like a repeated stab to her chest. A stab straight through her heart.

Her smirk dissolved into a grimace and the corners of her eyes burned, as tears welled up in them. But she would not cry. She owed herself at least that. After everything, she had endured after discovering that Merlin had magic, the warlock deserved to suffer the same way she had, even if it wasn't to the same extent.

She stood facing the door, waiting and almost hoping, for Merlin to come rushing out. To do what exactly, she wasn't sure. But he didn't, and the door remained closed even after she had stepped away from it. The silence that filled the place, made her wonder what Merlin was doing and thinking, on the other side of that wooden entrance.

She didn't linger in there. She simply walked away, just like he had done a long time ago.

She managed to avoid him for the rest of the afternoon and the evening, yet when the time for supper approached, she knew there was no escaping him. So, she claimed to be unwell; tired and in a great need to rest her feet. No one questioned her and she was safe to retire to her quarters without crossing his path.

Hunith was by her side as she stepped into her chambers. Despite Morgana's continuous assurance that she was quite capable to retire safely for the night, Merlin's mother insisted on walking her there.

Once in bed and tucked in, Hunith leaned over and pressed a kiss to Morgana's temple and the witch's eyes fluttered close. "Sleep well, my dear."

The lump those words had created, didn't allow her to form a proper reply. The older woman offered her a gentle smile that Morgana couldn't help but return, before Hunith left.

Why couldn't Merlin be more like his mother?

Morgana wouldn't admit it loud, but she couldn't sleep until she heard him come inside. A breath of relief passed through her lips, because she didn't know what she'd do if he didn't return to their chambers.

He locked the door, and went directly to the screen. No words were said.

And now, they were back to ignoring each other.

Wonderful!

It was like the past months had meant nothing to the both of them.

The bed dipped and the slight shift was enough to stir her awake. Rotating and curling onto her side, Morgana opened her eyes to find him lying beside her. Eyes fixed on her, Morgana attempted her best not to appear fazed by it.

"What are you doing?" Her voice sounded groggily from sleep and she cursed under her breath.

"Nothing." He replied without even blinking. Merlin exhaled, and eyed her for a moment, before he turned his face away. He was looking at the ceiling now.

Morgana closed her eyes. She could hear distinctively every breath he took and she founded it to be rather unnerving to bear.

She threw off the covers. However, the dramatic effect she was aiming for, was lost because of her state. She blamed it entirely on her belly. Once her struggle to sit was over, and with what was left of her dignity, she shot him a look. "Then why are you looking at me like that?"

Unlike her, Merlin managed to sit, but with more ease than herself which made her glare at him. He ignored it and simply shrugged his shoulders. "I wasn't staring. Just waiting."

"For?" She pressed, not buying his excuse.

He was spared from answering. The door of their chambers was pushed open and in walked her maid Ann. She paused upon seeing them. "Uhm…should I return later?"

"No." They replied simultaneously.

"You were not interrupting anything." Merlin said in an assuring tone and the maid sighed in relief.

Morgana turned her head and saw him get up from beside her.

"Should I go fetch your breakfast?" the question was address to no one in particular, still Merlin answered it.

"I'll be having mine with my parents."

The servant frowned. "What about you, milady? Will you…"

Merlin cut her off. "She will be joining us of course."

"Oh." Ann breathed out, glancing between her lady and lord, possibly sensing the palpable tension. "Well, what dress will you be wearing today, milady?"

"I don't know." Morgana replied honestly. "Have Merlin's parents awaken yet?"

She shook her head. "I don't think they have."

Getting up herself, Morgana adjusted her nightgown before talking. "Go see if they are up and in the meantime, I'll choose something."

The servant nodded her head and without wasting any time, she was gone.

Morgana went to her wardrobe, while Merlin headed to the changing screen. By the time she settled on a nice dress, Merlin had already finished dressing.

"I'll wait outside." He announced, leaving the room.

She understood his anger toward her. If anything, she thought he had every right to be. Yet, what she failed to comprehend was; Merlin had the entire night to ponder everything he'd come to learn, why was he still mad at her? Shouldn't he be grateful for what she had offered him?

That man baffled her greatly. But she wasn't about to do anything in an attempt to decipher him. She had already apologized for keeping the secret from him.

What more did he expect from her?

Time went by and her maid failed to make an appearance. Deciding that she should start without her, Morgana went to her changing screen. When she reached for the wear after undressing herself, she heard the door open.

Safely assuming that the comer was her maid, Morgana continued in her task until she got to the part where she required her maid's assistance. "I need some help with this fastening."

She anticipated small hands.

She didn't count, however, on big ones. Inclining her head, she was shocked to see that it was Merlin.

Standing right behind her, she could feel his breaths brush the back of her neck making her shiver. "What are you doing?" she felt stupid for asking the same question again, in such small period of time.

"Helping." His hands stroked the small of her back and the mark they left, was enough to send fire bursting through her, she could almost feel herself blushing. "What are you doing?"

Morgana stepped forward, until she was out of his personal space. She turned around, looking directly into his eyes, while she tried her best not to glance down at his hands.

The feeling of his hands on her back, wasn't something that she was accustomed to, yet it wasn't an unfamiliar one.

She had found herself in more than one occasion in an intimate situation, when Merlin was concerned. Twice to be exact.

And both incidents had occurred mere days ago.

How quickly matters could change…she thought lamentably.

Pushing that aside, Morgana continued to stare at him, inwardly, trying to inform him that she was still waiting on his answer.

Sighing, Merlin went closer. She didn't move.

She was silent, as he lifted his hands and placed them on her shoulders. Slowly and with a painful gentleness, Merlin pivoted her until they stood with her back to him. He was back to working on her fastening.

"Playing my part." Finally, came his response. But she couldn't tell from his tone, whether or not he was being frank. She hoped that she was able to see his face.

Since she couldn't ask him to stop, Morgana clenched her jaw, thinking the less she said, the sooner Merlin finished the small torture he was conducting on her.

"All done." He announced, squeezing her shoulders.

She closed her eyes, taking the time to calm herself. "No one is here."

"Uhm?" Hummed Merlin with a frown.

She cleared her throat and moved out of the small area. "There was no reason for you to play anything, Merlin. We are alone."

He didn't offer her a proper reply. A nod of his head was what he'd given her. "Shall we go?"

"I think I'll wait for Ann." She said, before huffing. "Why has she not retuned yet?"

"She has." Merlin walked toward the door. "She informed me that my parents were waiting for us to join them in their quarters."

"She did? Where is she then?" Morgana asked, perplexed.

He pulled the door open. "I dismissed her."

She crossed her arms over her chest, regarding him with slight anger. "Why would you do such thing?"

"Because…" he began but stopped. His eyes widened slightly as if remembering something before his lips curved upward, forming a small smile. He tilted his head; " 'I need some help with this fastening.'" He said after a moment. "The day I walked on you undressing when you thought I was Gwen; you said those exact words."

She didn't want to ask him how he still remembered such insignificant detail that had occurred a long time ago; instead, she decided to act as if she wasn't interested by the whole thing.

"Your parents must be waiting for us. It would be rude on our behalf, if you arrived late."

"Yeah," Merlin nodded, stepping first out of the chambers. "You're right. Let's go."

"Merlin, did you give Morgana the parchment I sent with you?"

At the mention of her name, the witch's head snapped up.

Merlin placed his goblet down. He glanced at her before he looked at his father. He smiled, "I did. But, I have to be honest; she refused to inform me of its content."

How sneaky of him.

Balinor arched an eyebrow at her. "And why is that?"

Morgana displayed a fake smile. Laughing lightly, she waved her hand. "It's no secret; I simply found no reason to share it with you."

"So you won't mind telling me about it?" It sounded like a challenge, something that she was fully willing to take.

"Of course, it was a spell that I stumbled upon." She easily lied, "It was intriguing and I only sought to understand it. I requested your father's help in aiding in my search. That's all, Merlin. You needn't to be mad about keeping it from you."

"That's all?" He narrowed his eyes, "Are you certain you didn't fail to recall other things?"

Shrugging, she tried her best to look indifferent. "I believe that you've already read what your father had managed to collect for me, I think you know everything there is to learn."

"Its effects are still unclear to me." Merlin shot back.

She gritted her teeth, holding herself back from saying anything snappy to him.

Luckily, Merlin's father spoke and gave her a way out. "I can explain it to you, if you wish."

Breathing out in relief, she exclaimed, "It's settled then!"

Two days had slowly gone by, since the discovery of her secret was made. Only a day was left until the feast and while the entire castle was busy preparing for it, Morgana was with Gaius as he rummaged through one of his cabinets.

"Found it?" Morgana asked.

The physician removed his head from inside of the cupboard, huffing in frustration. "No. Strange. I remember placing it here. "

Morgana reached for the open book and snapped it shut. "You don't have more of it?"

Gaius shook his head, he turned around and started collecting different bottles and placing them inside. "I fear I don't. I'll send Merlin to the forest later to gather us some more. Until then, I think we'll have to make the potion tomorrow."

She stood up and went to help him, handing him the vials while he sorted them back in their correct place.

She wasn't sure what wake her up, but when she sat up she was hit with a wave of coughing. It felt like her lungs was being ripped right out of her chest cavity. Eyes fuzzy with sleep, she couldn't concentrate on anything, as her hands reached for the goblet.

Only when her hand came back empty, did she remember that she hadn't bothered to move the item from the table. She quickly threw off the covers and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

She stood up and ended up falling backward, she clutched the edge of her nightstand tightly, while her other hand massaged her throat. Morgana didn't know what was going on with her.

She completely forgot about Merlin, had she remembered his presence, she would have called for him. But the shock of what had come over her, prevented her from doing so.

Thankfully, he must have heard her struggles, because he suddenly appeared before her, demanding to know what the matter was.

Somehow she managed to say 'water' and he rushed to the table and quickly filled a chalice and carried it back to her.

She didn't care that she ended up coughing the first gulp she took. Making a complete mess out of herself.

She felt him sit next her. "Take small sips, Morgana." He whispered into her ear.

And she did.

The burning fire in her throat finally eased and by the time it faded away entirely, she had already drunk every last drop of the water.

"Thanks." She told him, hoarsely. Her throat still ached but it was better now.

"Are you okay?" He took the cup from her hands.

She nodded wiping her mouth with the hem of her nightdress, "I don't know what happened…I …"

She couldn't explain what she couldn't understand herself. Good thing, Merlin didn't press her into knowing.

He put his hand on her knee. "It's all right. Do you want me to stay with you?"

She was tempted to say yes. But if she did so, she'd appear pathetic. Because, they were supposed to be mad at each other and she was certain that his offer was only out of politeness. But if she said 'no', she'd feel like she might have given up the chance to repair their relationship. He wouldn't have asked, if he didn't entirely care about her. The concern on his face was enough to tell her that.

Bottom line was that she truly didn't know what she wanted. Not when it came to him.

She patted the hand that was on her knee and smiled weakly. "Do whatever you want."

She gave him the choice. Hopping, he'd made the right one.

Sadly, he chose the cot on the ground.

The day of the feast, finally came. Long ago, at a day like this one, she would have spent the good part of her morning, trying to choose something to attend the feast with.

But she was a changed person and she had long since stopped caring about insignificant matters. And because of that, Morgana found herself yet again in the presence of Gaius, as the two of them continued their delayed work.

"Just cast the spell so the potion is finally ready." Gaius instructed.

She pulled the book closer and began to search for the magical words. Once she found them, Morgana lifted the book and approached the still brewing remedy.

She focused her attention and readied herself but nothing came to pass as the spell was spoken. She tried again and again. It was the same outcome.

The potion didn't turn to its correct colour, which signified that its making was completed.

She looked at Gaius and found him staring at her. He must have realized that something wasn't right, when she repeated the spell twice.

Only one thing could explain what was going on and Lord help her if that was true.

The physician poured a small amount of the potion into a vial; he raised it up with the intention of inspecting it thoroughly, before he pulled it closer and sniffed.

"We must have done something wrong." He assumed and she didn't bother to correct him.

Her blood was boiling by the time she excused herself.

"You cunning, deceitful, bastard." Morgana spat, storming into the throne room. The entire council was holding a meeting in there and Morgana couldn't bring herself to care.

Only one man mattered in that moment.

Merlin.

And he jumped to his feet the instant she made her presence known.

"Let's talk outside," He reached her before she was halfway in. He held her by the elbow and spun her around. She shoved him away.

"Let go of me." She demanded when his grip tightened.

"Not in here." He hissed, his voice dangerously low.

"What's going on?" Arthur asked, approaching them rapidly, confusion evident in his features.

"Nothing." Merlin replied causally, struggling to keep his hold on her but she wouldn't let that be.

"Unhand me you bastard." She fought harder, eventually he let go when Arthur reached them.

"That's not a way to talk to your husband." Arthur scolded her.

She snorted, shooting Merlin an angry glare. "He is no husband of mine."

Then, Merlin was back to grabbing her. "Morgana, don't." He whispered into her ear.

There was a hint of warning in his voice and feeling like she had already managed to get his attention, Morgana averted her gaze toward her brother. "This is between me and Merlin. We'll continue this outside."

"Morgana…" Arthur began but 'husband' and 'wife' both turned around and headed outside, leaving a baffled king and council to wonder about what had just occurred before them.

Once behind closed doors and away from the eyes and ears of any passing person, Morgana shoved Merlin into the first alcove she found. She followed him inside.

They began to shout at each other simultaneously, until their words were no longer comprehensible or clear.

They paused when they realized that screaming won't lead to anything.

Morgana slapped him. Twice. "I trusted you wouldn't do that again."

He touched his face, lips pressed together into a firm line. "You gave me no choice, Morgana."

"Nor did you." She snapped at him. "The spell was supposed to grantee my victory."

"It still doesn't give you the right to lie to me." Merlin ran a hand through his hair, "Damn it, Morgana, you owe me that much."

"I tried." Advancing, their faces were only inches apart. "I tried but you were too stubborn to hear me. You said you didn't care. You told me that we can start anew. Together. But look how you react when you learnt about it!"

He widened his yes at her. "How else did you expect me to react?"

"You should've been grateful."

Breathing heavily, Morgana looked around her realizing how close they were standing to one another. Merlin on the other hand seemed to be still trying to register what she had said.

"Grateful?" He said slowly. He opened his mouth to say something, but stopped in the last second, smiling grimly at her, he shook his head before he spoke. "If you can still stand there and think that I will be grateful for what you have done, then you are really mad, Morgana."

She couldn't deny that his words stung. It mattered immensely what he thought of her and to hear him say that, really cut her deeply but she refused to show it. For now, she had more important things to address.

"I need my magic back." She demanded furiously.

He shook his head. "That will not be happening, Morgana. I cannot allow it."

She pushed him against the wall. Merlin winced when his head hit the stone behind him with thud.

"You will or you'll regret it."

He made a noise with the back if his throat sounding awfully similar to a snort. "I like to see you try."

She searched for threats to throw his way but she came back empty. She ended blurting the first thing that came to her mind. "I'll kill you."

That was pitiful even to her standards and she didn't even feel angry when he snickered. "We've already established that you cannot to do that."

He was right. But he didn't need to know that.

"Don't tempt me." She warned, releasing him.

He scratched the back of his head where the impact had been made. "Don't lie to yourself, then."

She didn't have a comeback, so she slapped him.

He looked amused and she almost slapped the mirth of his face again, but then she remembered something that might force him to give her magic back.

"Then I'll kill myself." The way she said, she almost believed it herself. "Return my magic, Merlin, or you'll lose it all. You'll see how grateful I can be when I take everything from you."

He stopped mid-move and gave her a confused look. "How does killing yourself will affect anything around here?"

Did he not know?

"Don't act clueless." She admonished. "You've read the parchment; you know exactly what stops the spell…"

He huffed, "Of course, I know. It will end, the same it started" It was like he memorized the words. "You casted it and it'd end when you cast it again."

Oh! He really didn't know.

"That's why you took my magic?" She asked, surprised that he misunderstood the true meaning of those words. "What did you think I'm going to do? You're a fool if you think I'm—"

It was his turn to shove her to the wall, albeit, he was far gentler than she had been, but still, it hurt. "How can it be stopped?"

"What started it, would be its undoing—" She started but he cut her off.

"How?" He barked.

If telling the truth would help her escape his iron grip, then so be it. "My death." She cried out.

He went numb subsequent to her utterance. Her first thought was to run away from him, but Merlin seemed to recover faster than she could act. In an instant, Morgana found herself trapped between his chest and the wall.

"You're lying." His breath was hot on her face.

His eyes were red with anger, she closed hers. "No…" She whimpered in fear. "My death activated it and my death will—"

"Lie! It's a lie."

She punched him in the chest; the blows she threw seemed weak when he remained unfazed, as she begged for a release. He was pressing against her stomach and it got to a point where it felt like her was crushing her.

"Please stop, you're hurting our child."

Her cry of pain seemed to snap him out of his madness. As he stared at her with his eyes wide open, Merlin only took a step back until their stomachs were no longer touching. Morgana almost fell to the ground, but he kept her upward. She hunched over, clutching her belly.

"Are you in pain?" His hand came to rest on top of hers. "I'm sorry…I really didn't mean…"

She retracted her hand from under his, only to place it on the top. She didn't know what prompted her to do so. But she did. Using it, she rubbed her belly a couple of times and when she felt the baby respond with a kick of his own, she was assured that at least for now, all was well. From behind, she heard him sigh in relief. He must have felt the kick as well.

"We're fine." She said, a bit breathless. "That's the second time you attack me like this, Merlin."

She shouldn't be reminding him of that. For someone in her state he should know better than that.

He sank to the ground, she watched in silence as he drew his knees to his chest, wrapping his arms around them. "Please tell that is not true. Please?" He begged with weak voice.

Hovering, over him, Morgana almost crouched beside him, but after what he'd just done, she didn't know if she could trust him with herself. "Now, I know better than to lie to you."

The last she saw of Merlin that morning, was him resting his head on his knees with his shoulders slumped in defeat.

The next time she saw him, Merlin was far away from the broken, crying man she had left behind upon exiting the alcove. As she, with the help of her maid this time, got ready for the lengthily prepared occasion, Merlin waited by the table, with a small smile on his lips.

How could he get to such a good mood this quickly? She didn't know.

Between what happened that morning and the evening, Morgana had almost decided not to attend. But then, like always, he barged inside without knocking and looking like the entire ordeal had never been, Morgana felt like she needed to top that. If he could act indifferent, then so could she.

By the time they both got to the main hall, Morgana discovered the reason behind his changed attitude.

Freya.

She told herself that she should have seen that coming. Something major must have occurred to him, to cause such radical alteration.

They sat next to each other while they dined. Occasionally, she'd look at him and try to see he had his eyes on Freya. Fortunately, he passed the time chatting with his father.

Once, he abruptly turned her way to discover that she'd been watching him. An amused smile played on his lips. He leaned over and she had no choice but to do the same.

"Being with a child suits you very well." He whispered with a hint of tease.

She wasn't sure if he was serious.

She titled her head, eyes narrowed into slits. "Now you've noticed? I've been like this for over two months."

He laughed gently, "I never found the proper time to express it."

"And you deem a feast a suitable time to say that?" She asked quietly.

He said nothing; he just pressed a kiss to her cheek. He went back to talking to Balinor.

Once dinner was over and the attendances were free to move around, Morgana chose to remain in her seat. Gwen had left the feast shortly, with the intention of checking on her infant, Hunith was nowhere to be seen. And so, Morgana was left to follow Merlin with her eyes, as he spoke with few people, completely ignoring her presence.

She was relieved to find him with Arthur and few knights but somehow, as time went by, Arthur disappeared, as did the knights and in their place, Freya appeared.

They talked for few moments, until the druid girl said something prompting Merlin to throw his head back and laugh. She couldn't hear what she had told him, but the sound of his laughter echoed inside her ear.

He looked happy, genuinely happy. In fact, they both looked happy being in each other's presence. A pang of jealousy pulled at her heart's strings. But as she continued to stare at them, she realized that, even when Merlin and her had had moments when they had been utterly content and happy with one another, those moments never seemed to last.

The situation they were currently in, was enough evidence.

Besides, how could she compete with the one Merlin had been ready to run away with? Ready to abandon his destiny for?

She had no chance. She'd be a fool, thinking she was good enough even for the briefest of seconds.

The realization was a harsh one, but it was still something that she needed to accept.

During her small moment of enlightenment, Morgana had failed to see them leave. She stood up from her chair; her eyes scanned the room for the familiar mop of hair. Merlin wasn't there, nor was Freya.

She felt her eyes burn and the decision to leave the place was instant.

Morgana honestly thought that she could have a chance at life with Merlin in there. Once again, she was proved mistaken. She didn't belong with him or with anyone else for that matter.

It was a lesson that she needed to relearn.

They might have been seen as a husband and wife, but she needed to remind herself that, in reality, they were nothing but. Once upon a time, she had managed to lock the part of her heart that Merlin so selfishly took residency in.

It seemed the time had come for it to be shut again. Perhaps this time, she'd be able to throw the key away. No reason for it to be kept around.

Her mouth was wide open but nothing came through. Even with the pain surging through her middle section, a scream passed voiceless though her lips. She tore her gaze away from his expressionless face and down where he had thrust a lethal weapon into her. The agonizing pain seemed to be familiar; intense and unbearable but what was different was the rounding shape her stomach seemed to have taken.

She clutched tightly into him, but whatever force she had, evaporated the instant he began to pull the sword.

It felt like a release when the tip of the blade was out of her body. She came crushing down; her back hit the ground beneath her. But she didn't feel anything but the pain from her fatal wound. He hovered over her and she was struggling to catch her breath to utter one more word. One last word. "Why?"

But the effort seemed too much for her dying body to handle, and as she felt herself slip into nothingness, she heard his voice loud and clear ring inside her mind. "Goodbye Morgana."

Whatever she seemed to be unable to perform in her dream, she managed to accomplish the moment she woke up from it. The scream she released was deafening and hoarse.

It died down once Morgana realized that it was only one of her disturbing dreams, coming back to haunt her sleep.

Once calmed and composed, Morgana slowly lied back on her bed. She continued to take deep breaths through her mouth, with her eyes closed. Moments passed and she became aware that there were still noises coming from outside.

Could the feast still be taken place?

Frowning, she opened her eyes and crooked her neck into the direction of the window, trying to estimate the time. She was unable to.

It was a cloudy night.

She couldn't care less about the time; she only wished she'd be able to fall into a dreamless sleep. But that didn't seem like it would be happening. Apparently, Morgana wasn't the only one the nightmare had affected. The child inside of her delivered a rather strong kick to her ribs, which made the witch groan. "Not now." She began to rub the spot where the jolt had been received.

Noticing how different her nightgown felt against her skin, Morgana sit up, inspecting the material carefully. She, then, came to realize that she was still wearing the dress from the feast. She must have fallen asleep without changing into her nightwear.

She remembered that now.

Not wishing to ruin an elegant gown, she went to her changing screen. She took her time to undress. When she was done, she emerged from there, only to recoil when she saw Merlin leaning against her vanity, with his hands folded across his chest…

She didn't hear him enter.

"You startled me." She chastised, recovering. "How long have you been standing there?"

Pushing himself away, he let his hands drop to his sides. "Awhile."

"How long exactly?" she narrowed her eyes.

His lips curved into mischievous lopsided smirk. "Long enough to enjoy the view."

Her mouth dropped.

First he complimented her on her figure and now this. What had gotten into him?

"You've been missed." He stated pulling her away from her thoughts.

She shouldn't let him deflect. But she really didn't want to dwell on what he meant by the view.

"Have I now?"

"Certainly. The feast was on your honour. Of course, your absence would've been noticed." He was right. No reason to argue with that.

She strolled toward the bed but he blocked her path. She arched an eyebrow.

"Where did you go?"

The other eyebrow followed up. "I could ask you the same thing." He'd disappeared Lord only knows where, and he had the nerve to ask her of her whereabouts.

When he didn't answer, she didn't press him. She walked past him. "I went nowhere. I left early because I was—"

He finished for her. "Tired."

She stopped and whirled around on him. "How did you know?"

Merlin shrugged his shoulders, appearing nonchalant. "You seem to be offering that excuse frequently as of late."

Excuse?

The look she gave him, probably could kill on its own without her magic. Then again, she no longer had magic. "Well, try being with a child, I'd love to see how energetic you'd be with swollen feet, an aching back and an unborn child who is constantly squirming inside your belly."

This softened his features; at least he appeared genuinely affected with her tribulations. "I gather you couldn't sleep."

If only.

"Something of the sort." She wasn't in the mood of sharing, so she neglected the part where she had dreamt of him killing her.

"Anything I could do about it?"

She had quite the few sneering answers to that, she ended up saying something else. "You can give me my magic back."

He rolled his eyes and allowed her to stomp away. "You've already discussed this."

"No, you solely did. I, on the other hand, had no say in the matter." She retorted, and went for the covers.

With each one occupying their sleeping area, Morgana continued to rub her stomach, hoping the gesture was enough to lull the baby into allowing her rest she very much needed.

Her bulge shifted under her touch, indicating that her wish won't be happening anytime soon. Morgana ended up abandoning her pursuit to gain few hours of rest.

Having nowhere to go or anything to do, she suddenly found herself pushing the screen to the side, to reveal a sleeping Merlin.

Well, the truth, she didn't know if he'd fallen asleep already, but his eyes were closed.

She sank to the floor, ungracefully like once could. Hands under her belly, Morgana watched him from where she sat.

"Merlin." Her voice was barely above a whisper, not enough to wake someone. Leaning her head back, her eyes fluttered close. She called his name out once again, shaking him by the leg this time.

"Wha—" He trailed off, his gaze landing on her. His eyes widened, and Merlin scrambled to his feet. In less than a heartbeat, he was crouching before her, his hand on her bulge. "Are you having the child?"

Touched by his concern, Morgana smiled and patted his hand. "No, I'm not. At least not yet. Not much left for that anyways." She added the last part after a small pause.

He fell on his arse, breathing out in relief. "Why did you wake me then?"

With their hands still touching, she spoke. "Did you ever wonder how despite everything that we've been through these past few weeks, lies can still undo all of it so quickly?"

"I've tried to do my best not to redo my past mistakes."

She nodded, "I wish to do the same. I'm going to tell you all I know about the way we got here."

He retracted his hand and she pretended that that didn't hurt. "I already know everything there is to know."

He had been ignorant to the way to undo the magic, she was certain he was ignorant to other aspect as well. "Not everything."

"Such as?" He folded his hands over his chest.

"I'll simply start from the beginning." She told him, and the small gesture of his head prompted her to start with her tale.

"The Dochraid made me aware of the existence of such spell. I cast it shortly after taking away your magic. Stripping you from your source of power, was supposed to be my way to triumph; I was misled to believe that the spell was to insure it."

"Mislead?" He asked with a frown.

"I have never known what she had meant, that only the spell could guarantee my victory. No matter the outcome of the war. I know now, that she had no doubt that the war would be lost for my side." Morgana stated, gaze fixed on her hands.

"Why am I here?"

Her head shut up, she had been waiting for him to ask that. "I don't know."

"I thought you knew everything about it." He shot her a look, as if wondering if she was lying to him already.

"I never claimed that. I said that I'd inform of everything I knew about it." He should start paying more attention what she said.

"All right," he said, slowly. "Carry on."

She sighed, "Casting it was not difficult. What mattered most was for it to last."

"Like the spell Morgause casted on Camelot to make everyone in it fall asleep. You needed a vessel. But not just a vessel, it had to be something with great magic to feed it."

Of course, that part he'd know.

She didn't say anything, just hummed.

"That was why you kept Aithusa around. You used her." There was a hint of anger in his voice. She brushed it aside. Knowing that he'd be angrier once he knew how wrong he was about his assumption, Morgana breathed out a sigh, reading herself for what was coming.

"No, you are the vessel fuelling this spell, Merlin."

A deadly silence fell upon them.

She had been anticipating that.

Eyes narrowed, his mouth opened and closed. Morgana allowed him to grasp the information. She gave him all the time he needed.

And apparently, he didn't need much. "What?"

It was more than an exclamation of surprise, than an actual question. She found no reason to respond. She added, "Why should I use Aithusa when the most powerful magical being was at my mercy? Once, I realized that it was only a matter of time until you would get your magic back. I no longer needed Aithusa."

"What?" he asked again. "Ho…how? Y…you would have…"

She put an end to his stuttering. "I had my ways to insure that."

"Okay…all right" he sighed, he looked anything but alright. There was something on his mind, but it seemed he wasn't about to voice it. She had really shocked him. "So, when did you figure out that this life had a connection to the spell?"

"It took me awhile," she replied honestly. "I had my suspicions prior to leaving for a visit to your parents. It was why I sought your father's assistance. After what you have told me about him, about his knowledge of the Old religions, he was the only resource I could get. But…" She trailed off, there was no need to tell him that when she had witnessed Morgause slice his throat open, that theory had been dismissed. "I realized everything after we escaped Morgause." She paused, Anything else you'd like to know?"

He covered his face with his hands before he ran them through his hair. "What were The Dochraid's exact words when she told you about the spell?"

Of all the things to ask her, she frowned in perplexity. "I already told you—"

"Her exact words, Morgana, what were they?" if she had been standing on her feet, she would have recoiled from the harshness of his voice.

Blinking a couple of times, she tried to recall what he was seeking. "Uhm…" she gnawed on her bottom lip, "'My suffering will cease and what I've spent years yearning for will come to pass.' I think that was it." She recited the same way he'd done earlier.

His eyebrows drew closer as he pondered the meaning of that. She probably should spare him the effort—

He laughed and her frowned deepened. "What's so amusing?"

"It explains everything." He said with mirth in his eyes, gone all traces of the bewilderment he'd been displaying earlier.

He must be mistaken; he surely was, because she had spent months trying to understand everything around her.

"Well, tell me!" she urged, when he didn't seem like he was going to speak his mind.

He stood up, making her peer up to get a better look at his face. "Getting dragged into this life, was all your doing. You should have never used me as the vessel. But if what the Dochraid had said true then, the spell put an end to both our suffering and it gave us exactly what our hearts have been yearning for." He sobered, features hardening all of the sudden, " All I wanted was for Arthur to achieve what he was destined for, but it seems that it wasn't the throne of Camelot that your heart desired most."

He left it unsaid. Yet, the truth behind the true meaning of what he failed to voice was rather obvious.

She gritted her teeth, a shiver ran down her spine and it made her shudder. She felt humiliated by his conclusion. She wanted to set him straight but there was no point. They both knew he was correct. He held out his hand for her and despite her embarrassment she took it. "You should get some sleep." He let go of her and went to the door.

"Where are you going?" she stopped him.

"I have something to take care of."

Although, she didn't know where he was going, but she hopped that he was going to give her magic back.

With hope filling her, Morgana lied on the bed, waiting for him to return. She refused to think about what he said.

She had fallen asleep waiting on him to come back. She woke the next morning, only to discover that he wasn't even in the chamber. She didn't even know if he'd ever come back.

And now watching him help Freya load her carriage, Morgana felt her heart ache.

"Everything all right?" she heard Gwen ask. She looked away from the scene down. She found the queen standing fairly close to her, with her eyes fixed on the same scene she'd been watching.

"I'm fine, Gwen."

The queen gave her a look, not believing her. "Are you sure?"

"Of course, I am. Why are you asking?"

"Arthur told me of the argument you had with Merlin."

Arthur and his big mouth. "It wasn't an argument. A mere disagreement."

"From what I heard it sounded more than a disagreement." Gwen replied with a smile.

"Arthur was probably exaggerating, you know he can be."

Gwen looked away from Merlin and Freya and locked her gaze with Morgana. "It wasn't Arthur who described it to me."

"Really?"

The queen moved away from the window, "You weren't exactly trying to be discreet."

"I had a point to make." Morgana defended.

Gwen sighed, "Was it worth making a scene like that?"

Honestly, it was. She nodded her head.

A gentle look graced the queen's face, "What did Merlin do?"

"Nothing."

Her friend was taken aback by that.

She couldn't blame Merlin for everything. He'd lied and poisoned her and she had turned her back on everyone she ever cared, about and launched an entire war on them.

They were both to blame for the situation that had gotten themselves into.

She chanced a glance down and it did go unnoticed by Gwen. "If it was Freya, he wanted, would you think he would have married you?"

She cursed Gwen's ability to read through her. "This is not about Freya."

"Then why are you looking at them like you're afraid he might run away with her?"

Because, he might and he could do that.

She puffed. Shot the queen a mild glare, "This's not about Freya." She pressed.

"Then why don't go and put an end to you disagreement?"

Perhaps, she was right. It was time to put an end to everything.

"You should go with her." The words left her mouth without her permission. She had come to the main square, to tell him exactly that, but still, she didn't think she'd be brave enough to blurt them this easily. She had waited until Freya was no longer by his side to approach him.

Merlin whirled around so fast, he almost knocked her. His face was countered in utter surprise and she couldn't for the life of her, tell if he was surprised to see her, or because of what she had said. Either way, he raised his eyebrows, mouth agape.

"What?"

More composed and confident this time, she repeated, "You should go with Freya."

He laughed at her and shook his head. "Don't be absurd, Morgana."

He began to ascend the stairs. She followed.

"I'm serious." She insisted, ignoring the comical look on his face. It took a lot to utter that, he better take her seriously.

She reached for his elbow when she thought that she might not be able to keep up with his pace. He stopped, eyes looking directly into hers. "So am I."

"Merlin…"

She started, but he cut her off.

"Even If I wanted to go with her, Morgana, I cannot simply leave Arthur and Camelot behind."

Saying it would hurt, but he needed to hear it, so did she. "Arthur has Gwen and Camelot has its knights. You've spent the past years serving Arthur while watching him have everything; a kingdom, a wife. You deserve a chance to be with the one you love too, Merlin. You deserve to have what he had…or is having."

She didn't know what was the proper tense, but at least, she hopped he got the idea.

Morgana saw an odd look on his face, before she went stiff when he smashed his lips against hers, stealing her breath away as well as the thoughts in her mind.

Before she had the time to react to the kiss, his lips left hers. Her eyes were wide with shock, Merlin laughed softly, caressing her cheek so gently, she leaned into his touch.

"To make myself clear, I do not love Freya." He kissed her again, chastely. "And I already am with the one I love."

She shouldn't allow him to play her this easily. "I'm not a fool, Merlin, you can't—"

She didn't know what had gotten into him, but it seemed as if he was enjoying this particular way in silencing her. Once their lips parted, his mouth hovered over hers. Their breaths mingled together, she was torn between shoving him away and pulling him into another embrace.

She had to focus.

"Thank you." He spoke softly.

"Hm?"

What was he thanking her for? Had she missed something?

"I'm expressing my gratitude, Morgana. You were right." He straightened his back and his eyes shone brightly with a foreign emotion, that she had never seen beforehand. It made her wonder whether it was new, or if Merlin purposely never allowed himself to let her see it before.

"I was? How?" She asked tentatively, still dazed.

He smiled and stepped back. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I have matters to take care of. We'll continue this later."

He didn't allow her a chance to speak. But even if he had done so, Morgana wouldn't have been capable to form the proper words.

In an instant, he was gone, leaving her with a fast beating heart and conflicted feelings.

"Now, all we have to do is wait for—" She trailed off, the door of the court's physician's was pushed open and in walked, Merlin.

She looked briefly at him then back to what she had in hand.

The warlock uttered a greeting, that only Mordred responded to. He came and stood next to her.

Of all the places, he had to pick that spot.

"What are you busying yourselves with?" he craned his neck, trying to get a better look.

When Morgana remained quiet, Mordred took it upon himself to answer. "Mother is teaching me how to make potions."

Arching an eyebrow, Merlin was amused by the enthusiasm, the druid was expressing. "Really? What kind of potions?"

She almost rolled her eyes; he wasn't even trying to be subtle. He might as well ask her, if she was trying to making a potion to revert the effect of the one that had repressed her magic.

"It's a sleeping draft." Mordred said as she poured the liquid into a small vial.

"Is it?" Unconvinced, Merlin asked with tilt of his head.

"Yes." She decided it was time to join the conversation. "It is." Morgana turned to face him.

"So you don't mind proving it?" He challenged.

Confidently, Morgana shrugged. "Of course." She addressed Mordred next. "Drink it."

The knight was baffled by her request. "But I…why?…"

"Now, now," Merlin chastised, taking the potion from Morgana's fingers without her permission. He held it out for Mordred. "Do as your mother asked."

The druid boy took it. His eyes darted between his parents, to find them both giving identical smiles . He brought the vial closer to his lips, emptying its content in one gulp.

He squinted then placed the item down on the table.

Merlin had his eyes slightly narrowed, as he observed the other man. "How are you feeling?"

The knight licked his lips, as if wiping away the taste of the potion that got stuck in there. "I don't feel any—" his eyes rolled to the back of his head and his body simply gave in.

With her hand outstretched and eyes shining with a golden shade, Morgana, magically, caught Morderd.

"I see you got your magic back." Merlin remarked, casually.

She nodded her head watching, the warlock grabbed the fallen knight. Inhaling deeply and with difficulty, Merlin managed to hoist him to his feet. "I thought you were making sleeping potions." He said through gritted teeth. The weight he was carrying was a lot to handle.

"That was the second lesson." She deadpanned, following them.

Merlin laughed but it sounded odd.

"Need a hand?" Morgana offered and he shook his head.

Once Mordred was placed on Gaius' chambers, Merlin moved away, wincing as he straightened his back.

He trailed after Morgana, who had started arranging the working area. She tried her best to ignore his presence, but when he pulled something from a near cupboard, she paused and peered at what he was holding.

"I was going to give you this." Feeling the need to explain, he elaborated. "To restore your magic."

She averted her eyes, returning to her task. "Like I said, you were late for the first lesson."

"I told you I had matters to attend to." He explained with a sigh.

She had a bottle of herbs in her hand and she slammed it down on the table. "That…" Morgana pointed to the vial between his fingers. "…should have been a priority."

"I gather you're mad at me." He stated simply and his casual voice made her blood boil.

Laughing humourlessly, she abandoned her chore. "You have spent the previous week mad at me. I believe that, I, too, have the right to be, not only mad, but furious."

He breathed out, stepping closer. "I've already apologized for that."

If only it was that easy. But if he thought that he could get away with a simple 'sorry', than he was greatly mistaken.

"Well, you're not forgiven." She shot back, and took a glance around her. Trying and failing to locate something to occupy herself with. She didn't wish to keep listening to what he was saying.

His face fell, "So everything I said meant nothing to you?"

"I don't dwell much on lies."

"But it wasn't a lie," he argued, "I really do—"

"Don't." she silenced him before he uttered that word again.

His features softened, "Morgana…"

It sounded like a plea.

But she would not fall for it. Not again, not ever.

She shook her head, mostly to herself. "You ignored, screamed and practically attacked me. And if all of that weren't enough, you had the never to take away my magic, even though you knew damn well how…" her voice quivered. "I need my magic, Merlin. Even if I don't find the use for it, I need it." Otherwise, she might find herself in that pit, consumed by darkness and on her own. And she'd rather die than to relive that ordeal all over again. "I deserve to be angry at you, the same way you were with me."

"But it was not you; I was mad at…" he amended when she glared at him. "Admittedly, I was in the beginning, but I was mostly mad at myself for being mad at you." He shrugged in defeat. "And I ended up hurting you."

He sounded stupid, offering that excuse and she wasted no time to point that out for him.

He ran a hand through his hair, "I really thought that this life we're living now, could last forever and knowing that it will end…" He inhaled, "I can't go back to that life, Morgana. I just can't."

If she were in his place, she wouldn't have wanted that either. She understood where he was coming from. Here, he had everything he had ever hoped.

Her features softened, "Your destiny with Arthur—"

"Damn my destiny and damn Arthur!" he yelled, frustrated. "This is not about them…this is no longer about them."

He'd taken her by surprise with that.

"What is it about then?" she hesitated, almost dreading his answer.

He glanced up to the ceiling then back to meet her gaze. "I can't return to the life where I killed you, Morgana." He let a shaky breath, eyes glistered with tears. "I can't go back to the place where the thought of giving you a proper burial never crossed my mind. I didn't look back, Morgana, not…" He lowered himself to a seat. "You were my friend and I left your body there to rot."

She couldn't ignore the way her heart clenched. Hearing him say that, she didn't know how to respond. Yes, she was wounded by that, but she couldn't really blame him. And she couldn't bring herself to comfort him either.

"Once this is all over, I will be nothing but a distant memory. You'll overgrow your guilt and eventually, you'll move past it." She swallowed the lump in her throat. "You'll move past me."

"How can you say that?" Eyes wide, in an instant, he was on his feet.

"How can I not?" she shot back. "You'll never care about me the same way you do for Arthur."

He threw his hands up in the air, an obvious sign of defeat. "But I love you!"

"Then prove it, Merlin."

There was a moment of utter silence before Merlin broke it. "I've told you, why can't you believe me?"

She had many answers for that, she only gave one. "Because I cannot trust anything that comes out of your mouth, Merlin. Not again."

He'd promised her forgiveness for what she had done. He'd claimed that he wished to start anew with her, but everything he'd said disappeared in a heartbeat.

How could he hope she'd believe him after that?

His face fell, mouth ajar. He watched her then his eyes fluttered close.

It was in that particular moment that Morgana felt like they had reached the end of their relationship. Just like many years ago, when they had stood in the cave under the castle, with Merlin pleading for her to simply stop. Offering her a way to redeem herself. An offer that she didn't think twice before rejecting it.

"It doesn't have to be like this. We can find another way."

"There is no other way."

He'd given up on her back then, and the look that had been on his face, was almost identical to the one she was seeing now.

And once again, she had rejected him.

"I—" he began then paused.

There it came, Morgana readied herself. The beginning of the end. She could almost hear her heart shuttering, and even though she knew that one word from her, and all of this would vanish, she had her dignity to conserve.

"There is another way," his firm voice snapped her back. Her stomach flip-flopped, and heart skipped a beat. He continued. "However, you said that you wished to wait until the child was born."

When she demanded that he proved that he loved her, she didn't really think he'd propose that idea. Or any other idea for that matter. She thought that she had him cornered, left with no more options. It seemed that she was mistaken.

Heat rushed to her face and she couldn't glance toward him.

Her lack of response was a response itself.

"No, right?" he said as if guessing what was on her mind.

She finally looked up at him. She didn't speak merely shook her head.

It wasn't like she didn't want to, it just she didn't want to do anything that intimate with him, until that child was out of her. There was a look of understanding gracing his face. She didn't say it out loud but she was grateful that he didn't insist on an explanation.

"Okay," Merlin was scratching his brow, "I was going to propose this after you give birth, but I guess there is no reason to wait. Once that happens, the two of us, we'll leave the city, head toward the farthest village in the entire kingdom and get married."

Wow!

His proposals were getting better and better. Her mind went blank after the word 'married'.

Because he couldn't be serious. No one could go from hating someone, to suggesting marriage in matter of few months. Their past couldn't be undone that easily. Heck, it couldn't be undone, period.

"Don't joke about this." She warned and she cursed her heart for beating so fast, she feared she might faint because of it.

He held his hands up, "I'm not. I'm being entirely and completely serious."

And she was really serious about the fainting part. Lord have mercy, why was he doing that to her?

"Morgana…"

"I have to think it about first." She said before she rushed out of there.

For some reason, he didn't follow her.

Three days later, Morgana was still thinking about it. Not entirely true, really, if she had the choice, she would have blurted a yes and be done with it. But the man didn't deserve to have an answer that fast. She'd have him wait until he was desperate.

But he didn't appear that desperate really, because, on the very day he'd made his proposition, they had slept on the same bed and they still were three nights later. If it were up to her, she'd have spent her night on the ground behind that screen, just like he'd do whenever they weren't on speaking terms. However, for the past few days, her back was killing her and she could barely catch a wink while laying on soft and smooth mattress. She wouldn't put herself through such suffering just to prove a point.

Anyways, it seemed that the ache in her back was increasing with each passing moment. It was rather permanent and the pain came in waves, concentrating in her lower back. It had begun since earlier that day and it showed no signs of subsiding.

The healer had warned her of that, so she tried her best to ignore the discomfort and focus on the conversation taking place around her. "Has it been verified that it's, in fact her?" Morgana asked, folding her hands in her lap.

"Yes." Arthur confirmed her worry and she rubbed her belly, as though the mere mention of her sister's name was enough to harm her baby. "She had been spotted, but her men are not known around here, so we cannot be certain if they have arrived to Camelot."

She shifted in her seat; one hand went to the small of her back applying small pressure on it.

By her side, Merlin misunderstood the action of one of concern. He reached for her other hand. "I won't let harm come to you. I promise."

It was the first intentional physical contact they had had for few days now. She peered down at it and brought her hand to cover his. "I know."

"We'll double the patrols and knights will be placed in every entrance within the city, as well as the castle. Any suspicious person tried to sneak in will be stopped." There were no knights around them for Arthur to instruct, but it sounded like he was trying at reassure her. And truthfully, he wasn't making a very well job at it. She knew better than anyone how it was easy to slip unnoticed in and out of the castle. Of course, she wasn't about to point that out, she'd suggest few matters when it came to securing the premature.

The news of Morgause's presence in the city had been delivered to them during lunch. The gravity of such information coupled with ache, made her lose her appetite. She found no reason to stay in there and she'd rather go and rest her feet, then to worry herself over something she'd been anticipating ever since she had escaped her sister captivity. She retracted her hand from Merlin's, he looked up frowning. "I think, I'll head back to my chambers. The child is being unusually restless today and we all know who to blame for that."

"Yes, his mother." Merlin teased from where he sat.

Morgana rolled his eyes. "Most people we'll disagree with you."

"I don't." Arthur chimed in, with a crooked smile.

The warlock snickered at that comeback, Morgana shot him glare. "Shush you, if—" She trailed off, griping the chair to keep her upright.

Everyone seemed to notice. "You okay?"

She tried to smile but it came off mostly like a grimace. "Don't worry. Like I said, it just the baby—"

Pain shot from her back taking her by surprise, Morgana doubled over. Thankfully, she'd been holding onto the chair.

"Morgana…" Merlin jumped to his feet and rushed to her.

She wanted to grab his hand, but he was pushed away from her. "Go get the healer, Merlin. I think it's time." Gwen ordered.

She knew exactly what that meant and she wanted nothing more than to call his name. She needed him by her side. She couldn't do this alone.

His mother finally emerged from the room. The healer had already left awhile back. Hunith, gently, pulled the door closed, making as little noise as possible.

"How is she?" Merlin went to her.

She met him with a warm, almost an apologetic smile, "She's asleep and she's fine. They both are."

Words were not enough to assure him, he needed more. "Can I go in?"

She sighed, "Just don't make any noises."

Nodding his head, the warlock did as he was instructed.

Once in, he shut the door. His footsteps were heavy as he headed to where she was lying.

She was indeed asleep, of that he was certain. Her chest rose and fell evenly. Gone all the traces of her ordeal, she looked at peace.

He went to the other side of the bed. Staring lengthily down at her sleeping form, he couldn't stop thinking about how worried he'd been before he exhaled and lied beside her.

Morgana hummed something incoherent. Her eyes fluttered open, "Merlin?" she mumbled woozily. He wasn't sure if she was completely awake.

"Go back to sleep." He coaxed her.

She licked her lip, eyes shut close. She sank deeper into her pillow. "I will let you marry me."

He laughed gently. "So finally, you approve of me?"

"It's hard not to."

After that she drifted back to slumber. She shifter until was on her side, facing away from him. He scooped closer and kissed her shoulder, before he wrapped his arms around her still protruding midsection and buried his noise in her hair, inhaling her scent. "Rest now."

Normal. It had been what the healer had told him. Apparently, at times, women near the end of their pregnancy, could experience contractions similar to the one of childbirth.

The woman had been correct and mere hours later, the spasms had stopped. Morgana had been given something to help her sleep.

But according to the healer, Morgana might actually give birth at any time now. He'd been worried earlier and only when he'd been faced with the fact that his child might possibly arrive soon, did he realized how unready he was to be a father.

And so when Morgana finally rose from her sleep, he wasted no time to confess his fear.

"You suppose I am?"

"Well," he began, "Sometimes, I can't help feeling as though you're enjoying the entire thing."

"You cannot be more wrong." She told him, tucking her leg under her. "In the beginning, it wasn't. Waking up to find myself like this was certainly not a pleasant surprise. However, I can't deny that I grew to love this child with each passing day. Besides…" She trailed off and her silent prompted him to look at her. She had strange expression on her face.

"What?" He encouraged.

"It's, after all, my last chance to have a child of my own."

He growled. "Don't talk like that."

"What?" she exclaimed, with a laugh in her voice. She was trying and unfortunately failing to brighten up the mood. "It's the truth."

Getting off, he gave her a look. "I don't need you to remind me of it, Morgana."

She followed him with her eyes, as he brought her dinner from the table. She accepted the tray. "It's better you get accustomed with idea now. You don't want to wake up one day and discover that all is gone."

He wasn't sure if he'd ever be ready to face that day.

"No." He said, firmly, hopping that his answer would put an end to their conversation. She could be really stubborn sometimes.

He went to his changing screen. He took off his nightdress and when he reached for his shirt, he couldn't find it.

Frowning, Merlin checked around, but the piece of wear was nowhere to be found. He had placed it there before he had gone to sleep the previous night.

"Morgana…" He called walking out of there. "Did Ann collect my clothes for a wash last night?"

The woman in question didn't respond, instead, her eyes drank in the sight of his naked torso.

"What?" his voice snapped out of her marvelling.

She smiled, "I'm just enjoying the view."

She could stare all she wanted, but for now he needed to get dressed. He couldn't be late.

He repeated his question and she shook her head. "Have you seen it, then? I seem to have misplaced it."

She tore her gaze away from his exposed chest and up to his face. "No. I have not."

No reason to waste his time searching for it, Merlin decided to wear something else. However, when he pulled his closet open, he found that it was completely empty.

All of his clothes were gone.

"Morgana." He growled, turning around to face her. "Where are they?"

"Where are what?" she was playing dump.

"My clothes, they're gone."

She widened her eyes, feigning surprise. "How odd! Does that mean you won't be going?"

He should have known she'd do something, he definitely didn't expect this.

"Morgana…" he spoke her name with a hint of defeat. "I can't just miss a council meeting simply because you wish for company."

"I've not left this chamber for a week now, Merlin." She whined.

"For a very good reason, Morgana," she should know this herself, "you could go into labor—"

"But I'm bored." She drawled, wrapping her arms around her pillow. "I can't spend another moment in this bed. I'm going mad."

And they were back to the beginning.

He crossed his hands over his chest. "What do you expect me to do about it?"

"I don't know," she hugged it tightly. "Entertain me."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't have time for this." He sighed, exasperation.

She threw the pillow at him; it barely made it halfway to him. "You should take responsibility for what you have done."

The healer was the one that recommended bed confinement.

"How is it my fault?" he crouched down and picked up the thrown item.

"How did you think I got like this?" she pointed to her belly.

He smirked. "I think we both know exactly how."

Growling, she grabbed his pillow this time, and threw it his way.

He easily dodged it. He sobered. "It's enough, Morgana.. Where did you put them?"

She pouted, "I'm not saying."

It was a lost cause to get her to tell him.

Under her watch, he started to search the room. "I need my shirt, Morgana, I can't attend the meeting like this."

"You should," she remarked teasingly. "Not very bad sight."

"I don't think everyone else will share the same opinion." He looked under the bed. That was how desperate he was.

"If you stay here, I promise I won't complain."

Honestly, he couldn't concentrate on anything when she was saying things like that. If anything, he really needed to leave the room, before he did something stupid like snogging her senseless.

"You really are enjoying this, are you not?"

She laughed, "So very much."

Her wardrobe was next thing, he searched.

"Do you honestly think I'm going to hide them in there?" He heard her ask but he continued rummaging through the pile of her things.

He stopped when he came cross something familiar; albeit, not a shirt, but it was something of his.

"Why are you kipping this hidden?" he asked.

She looked confused. "Keep what?"

He held up the item between his thrum and forefinger, for her to see. "My neckerchief."

The moment her eyes landed on the cloth, Morgana gasped and quickly got off the bed. She waddled toward him. "Hand it over!"

He arched an eyebrow. "Answer me first."

The last he'd seen it; Morgana had snatched from his neck and disappeared with it. It had been the day she had offered to teach him how to heal.

"It served as a reminder." She reached for it but he pried her hand away.

"A reminder of what?" he pressed, stepping back.

She stopped trying, knowing fully well, she won't get it until he had his answer. "Of how manipulative, untrustworthy, devious and dangerous; you could be."

He snorted, "I didn't know you hated me this much."

She rolled her eyes and smacked him in the shoulder. "Give it to me!"

"I think I'm going to kee—" she didn't allow him to finish as she nicked the neckerchief and as quickly as she could, she ran back to the bed. Merlin was hot on her heels.

She propped on the bed, concealing the hand with the object under her back. He tried to sneak his hand under her but she shoved him away. "You're not getting it." She said breathlessly.

Merlin tried again, but he didn't want to push his luck further, fearing that he might harm her. So, he decided to take the safest way.

"Should we bet on that?" He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers, not exactly kissing but certainly teasing.

Morgana, however, didn't settle for that.

She hooked a hand around his neck, gripped his hair with her other one and forced him to deepen the kiss.

For a moment, he almost lost his focus on his goal, but when the material tickled the back of his neck, he snapped out of it. He continued to move his lips with her, as he reached and gently slipped the neckerchief from her fingers.

As much as he enjoyed this, he had a point to make. He pulled away, getting off of her. Her lips were swollen. His blue eyes were sparkling with amusement and there was a smirk on his lips.

His chest rose and fell heavily with each breath he took. For a second, Morgana didn't appear pleased by his method. But soon, she started laughing and soon he joined her.

"We should do this more often. It's rather enjoyable, right."

Not the word, he would use but, "It's definitely worth repeating, he confessed." He let his body fell next to her on the bed; she craned her neck his way.

"Why waste time then?"

Yeah, why waste time?

Their lips were inches apart when the door of their chambers opened and Ann walked inside, she took one look at them and rushed out. Still, that didn't stop Morgana from yelling, "Knock first." Then she turned her head to him.

His tender lips made gentle contact with hers.

She closed her eyes, and returned the kiss, placing her slim arms around his neck. She drew herself closer and they carried on; there heard a knock. They looked at each other, a displeased look played on both their faces.

"Ignore it." Merlin told her.

Morgana complied.

But the knocking continued for a moment, then stopped. The sound of the door creaking, its knob slowly turning, still they paid it no intention.

"I thought I heard a noise coming from—" Whoever walked inside, trailed off as their eyes found them.

They broke apart abruptly. Each one shoving the other away.

"Mother!"

"Hunith!"

They exclaimed at the same time.

The woman just started with her eyes wide. She was clearly in shock. "I should return later…"

"No, no, no…" Merlin jumped off the bed. "I'm late for the meeting, I should probably…"

Heat rushed to his face; never had he thought his mother would walk on him doing such thing.

Merlin avoided looking at Morgana, and rushed to put on something, to cover the blush he knew for sure it had spread all over his torso. But, he only took couple of paces, before he span around.

"Where are my shirts?"

"What happened to your shirts?" Hunith asked with furrowed brow.

"Morgana hid them so I won't leave her compa—" he began but the implication of his words registered lately.

From the bed, Morgana gasped, "Merlin!"

He didn't get a chance to explain what he really meant. Like Ann, his mother rushed out of there with the promise to return later.

"You're an idiot."

This time the pillow met its target, right in the face.

Yeah, he really was.

It had been a long day for him, and Merlin wished nothing more than to close his eyes and drift into sleep. Yet, it seemed like his wish would not become true, because Morgana had been tossing and turning every now and then.

She blamed it on the baby and she blamed him for the baby. So, he had no right to complain.

He was too tired to argue with her logic.

But as the night progressed, her movements would stir him awake every time he caught a wink. It got to the point where he could no longer take it anymore.

Of course he understood that she was probably feeling even worse than he was, but he was really exhausted. All he wanted was to sleep.

Morgana shifted again, he just snapped. "Please, just stop."

If he was grumpy, she certainly was grumpier. "You can sleep on the floor if you'd like."

Honestly, it sounded like a bad idea at all.

"Fine." When he grabbed his pillow, groaning, Morgana sat and swung her legs over the edge of the bed.

He frowned, "Where are you going?"

All he got from her was a noise sounding similar to a whine.

He jumped on the bed and got the other side. Kneeling before her, he noticed that she had her eyes closed, face countered in pain. She was clutching the covers so tight, her knuckles turned white.

"Are you okay?"

He repeated his question twice, before he got an answer. She inhaled deeply, placing a hand on the side of her belly. "It's happening again."

He knew what she was referring to.

Merlin straightened up, "I'll go get my mother."

She wrapped her hand around his wrist, stopping him. "No need to wake her at this time."

"Are you sure?" His mind was screaming at him to do the opposite of what she was asking, but then she nodded and smiled weakly at him.

"I am."

She was wrong.

Slowly, her pain only intensified. Her winces became whines and moans. Finally, he couldn't just watch her cry in agony every few moments.

The healer was summoned. It didn't take long to confirm that the lady Morgana was in labour. Quickly, boiling water had been brought inside while he was thrown out.

A goblet of whine was handed to him and he swallowed it all at once. The burning feeling it left behind and as it made its way down his throat, did nothing to ease his worries. So when the second drink offered the same outcome, Merlin left.

Arthur followed him and he led him toward Gaius' chambers, where they spoke about everything and nothing.

Somehow, he ended up falling asleep. Finally, he got the rest his body was craving.

Waking up, the sun was shining brightly in middle of the sky. He ran back to their chambers only to learn that the child hadn't been born yet.

'It lasts longer for the new mothers. It might take the entire day.' Those were the answers he'd get every time he asked if it was over yet.

He couldn't handle being in the dark like that. He couldn't handle the fact that she was suffering, while he sat outside drinking mead and doing nothing besides waiting.

And the one thing, he couldn't handle was her screams. The sun was dying, when he heard the first one and now, it was utterly dark and he was still hearing them. He almost barged in there few times. However, Arthur or his father would stand like a barrier in his path.

Her voice echoed in his mind, pleading for him to put an end to her pain. He was helpless. He could do nothing but assure her; tell her all would be over soon, tell her that he loved her over and over again.

Suddenly, her screamed died out. Another took its place, it was as angry and as loud as the previous, but this one didn't make him flinch, didn't make his heart clench with guilt. No, this one placed a smile on his face, his heart swelled with an inexplicable joy.

He released a breath he didn't know he'd been holding.

Someone patted him on the back; another pulled him into a hug.

He couldn't focus on anything. He broke the embrace and stopped in front of the door. He didn't walk in, he just waited. Thankfully, he didn't wait for long. His mother appeared from behind the door with happy tears falling down her face.

"You have a son." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "You have a son." She repeated.

"How is Morgana?" Hunith pulled him at arm length. She wiped her tears away.

"She's fine. Go see them." She stepped aside, allowing him enough space.

He walked past her. His legs carried him straight to her. She was cradling their child in her arms, head down at she glanced at him.

"Morgana…" He breathed out her name so softly, he almost thought she won't hear him; but she did and when she looked up, she never looked more beautiful. Even with hair drenched in sweat, face wet with tears, she looked stunning. He sat next to her, wrapped a hand around her shoulder.

He pressed a quick kiss to her hair, before he peered down. He was excited and afraid to see his son at the same time. But he felt happy. He felt ready to be a father.

Tentatively, his fingertips brushed against his skin. "He's so soft and small."

His eyes were closed, tiny hands clenched into a ball.

"Right!" Morgana exclaimed with a small laugh. "He certainly felt heavier while in."

He couldn't help but laugh as well. "I think he's supposed to be small."

"Yeah, but he's healthy though. Did you hear his cry?" she peered up to look at him.

"It was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard." He confessed, feeling the corners of his eyes burn. He really could hold his tears back anymore.

"Agreed." Morgana said. If she noticed his tears, she didn't show it. "For a moment, I feared he might not come out, but then I heard him and I was relieved."

He continued to chuckle, until they both settled into a comfortable silence. They watched their son, he'd wrapped his hand around Merlin's finger. It took his breath away when the baby had done that.

"How are you feeling?" Merlin asked her.

He heard her sight. "Sore. But happy. So very happy." She said with a smile, "I've never felt like this before."

"I love you."

He could still surprise her whenever he expressed his feelings. Perhaps, he should do so more often until she got used to them.

"I love you, too."

Their lips brushed together in a small but satisfying kiss.

"How about—"

She didn't allow his to finish, "No."

His lips were pressed into a thin line, as he gave her a displeased look, "this is absurd, Morgana, you didn't even hear what I was going to say."

"Nothing you've proposed so far was suitable." She said, making a face.

He smiled, "neither have you."

She clearly wasn't paying much attention to him. They both were propped onto their elbows, their new-born lied between them. He was awake, eyes wide opened but he was quiet. Seemingly, too invested in his parents light bickering.

Morgana ran her hand down his cheek, the baby attempted to grab her finger. Once he did so, he drew it to his mouth. He parted his lips and then closed them around it.

"If we carry on like this, he won't have a name." Morgana said with a sigh, as the baby extracted her finger, gave it a strange look before he pulled back into his mouth.

"How can we not agree on this?" Merlin wondered, mostly to himself. "It's ridiculous."

Morgana smiled gently as the baby seemed to compress his gum together, it tickled her. "We haven't seen eye to eye for years, now, Merlin."

"But we have lately." He reminded her.

She rolled her eyes, and gently pulled her finger out. She wiped it with a drag lied beside her. The Baby began to whimper, Merlin offered his hand. "And by lately, you mean less than a week ago."

"Over three weeks," He rushed to correct, "It's the longest period so far. It should be counted as an accomplishment."

"You're being stupid." She chided.

He scoffed, "I'm being optimist."

"And you're also late for the meeting." She told him, as she sat and leaned over to scoop the baby.

Merlin pouted, "I don't wish to go."

"How the tables have turned!" She teased, eyes sparkling.

"Shut up." He said airily, leaning to press a kiss to her lips, then another to the baby's brow. He moved back and left the bed. He looked down at them, briefly before he spoke up, "We should have had a girl. It would have been easy to name her."

Surprised, Morgana lifted an eyebrow. "Shouldn't you be glad that you have a son who will carry on with your family heritage?"

"I do," He confessed. Sighing, he added with a lopsided smile, "Perhaps next time, we'll have a girl."

Snorting, she patted the infant's back. "We haven't shagged yet, and you're already planning for a second child."

He shrugged his shoulders, his smile intact. "Like I said, I'm an optimist."

"Yeah, well, for the next baby, I'd like to have a recollection how it got there in the first place, before I give birth to them."

"I'll keep that in mind for the next time." He shrugged on his jacket.

She feigned a breath of a relief. "I'll hold you up to that."

"I must go," He said sadly. "I'll return the moment the meeting is over."

She nodded, "See you later, then."

The gathering was nearing its end, when the sound of the bells was heard.

It didn't take long to learn what had come to pass.

Patrol of knights had been attacked and rumours of a vast army marching toward the castle were heard.

It was a day away from reaching the city's walls. Everyone knew who was behind it.

Merlin, alongside with Arthur, rushed to Gaius' chambers to assess their losses. The room was buzzing with activity. Numerous knights were lying here and there, injured. The warlock was surprised to find his wife in there, offering her assistance.

He wasted no time to express his disapproval. "Why are you here?"

She paused in her moves, "Take a look around and guess." She returned to the knight before her. She closed her eyes and began the process of healing.

Merlin didn't speak again until she was done. Morgana quickly moved to the next one. He stopped her. "You should be in bed, resting."

"It's been over a week since I gave birth. I don't need the rest." She pulled away from him, "Besides, I'm more useful in here than in my chambers, your son has fallen asleep."

She returned to her task. "I can't see the wound." He heard her mumble. With a sigh, he went to help her. They managed to remove the man's armour and then she yanked his shirt open to reveal the injury.

Merlin let her continue and moved toward Arthur. "How bad is it?"

"Very." The king replied. "The ones who made it here alive were lucky. Most of the men died on the way back."

"This is happening too sudden."

"I shall discuss our strategy with the knights, will you be joining us?" Arthur asked.

Merlin's gaze drifted back to Morgana. "I'll think I stay here and help as much as I can. I'll come once I'm finished."

The king nodded his head, sighing forlornly at a fallen knight before exiting the room.

Merlin was making best of what Morgana had taught him. She was working not far from him, when he noticed that she had stopped rather abruptly. She was eyeing the dead knight strangely. He stopped what he was doing.

"What's the matter?"

Her voice was hesitant, "He's not wearing his armour."

His brow drew together, "He's not a knight?"

Morgana shook her head, "No he is. I remember him. He was the one that brought me back to Camelot when I tried to escape."

It had happened mere days after waking up in there.

"You think someone stole his armour?" Merlin asked, though he knew the answer. But he was dreading to admit it.

Morgana reached and shut the man's eyes close. "I think there is someone pretending to be a knight of Camelot and he's roaming around freely."

The implications of her words where heavy ones, they shared a look. Letting the gravity of the situation register, before they both ran to the door.

One person in mind.

As they made their way toward their chambers, Morgana stopped him. "You must warn Arthur first."

He dismissed her request instantly. "Arthur is surrounded by the knights of the round table. I can't let you go alone, Morgana. Morgause is not only after our child, but she wants you dead. I'm coming with you."

Rolling her eyes, Morgana huffed, "Gwen and Edward are in danger as well, and you can't let anything happen to them. Think about Arthur."

"I'm only thinking about you." He said firmly, resuming his walk.

Exasperated, Morgana ran after him. "Can we not argue on this, please?"

Sighing in defeat, Merlin halted in his tracks, he turned to face her.

"Morgana…"

"Just make sure Gwen and the prince are fine, warn Arthur and come back to me. Don't worry, Merlin, I've been doing this for years. I can take care of myself." She said with a pleading smile.

Realizing that there was no point in arguing, and knowing fully that they shouldn't be wasting any time, Merlin, though reluctant, nodded his head. "Be careful and you have my permission to kill anyone who tries to harm you."

"All right."

They shared a brief kiss before they parted.

The king, the queen and their son were all fine. No harm had come to them yet. But, they'd been warned of the threat. Once, he was assured that the royal family was fine, it was time to check on his.

His parents presented no use to the intruder, so he rushed to make sure that his wife and son were all right.

Nearing their chambers, he saw it: a busted door. Kicked in. metallic smell. Smell of blood.

Stumbling through the doors, he yelled out her name with a heavy breath. But he already knew, he just knew it was too late. He didn't know how, but something inside of him prevented him from thinking otherwise. With his chest heaving, his lungs feeling as if they were about to shrivel up, and his head beaded with sweat, he started to look for her.

Merlin remained silent, as he stepped passed the dead body of Morgana's maidservant, Ann. He approached Morgana slowly. Her opened eyes and the small gap between her lips formed a familiar sight that he, once, had been responsible for.

Her face was flushed, completely pale, and her lips a soft bluish-purple.

She was gone.

With tears leaking from his eyes, Merlin moved closer, so he positioned his hands above her mound. A small piece of him still had hope that this could change something. But as he recited the healing spell and nothing happened, all of his hope was finally lost.

He shook his head frantically, more tears flowing from his eyes, as he let out a soft whimper, "I'm sorry." He leaned forward, his whimpers becoming sobs, and placed his hand to her head. As he placed his lips to her forehead, he felt how cold her skin had become; it was like ice. His hand remained atop her head, shaking as he caressed his thumb back and forth over her soft hair.

As he parted his warm lips from her, he was forced to stare down at her lifeless expression. He watched as his many salty tears hit her skin and hated how she didn't, how she couldn't, even flinch.

He brought his hand and shut her eyes. He didn't need to look at them any longer. He pulled her close, cradling her cold body to his, resting her head beneath his chin, and placing a kiss to her hair ever few seconds.

He stayed like that for a long time. The thought of his child were completely forgotten.

"He's waking up." The noise, at first, sounded distant. But as he neared the state of awareness, they become clearer.

"Merlin…" someone spoke closely, next to his ear and Merlin turned his head toward the sound. His eyes fluttered open. Gaius was the first one he saw.

The elder man breathed in relief as he straightened up. "At last."

He was in his chambers. His neck ached as he glanced around him before he peered down.

He was back to wearing his cloths as a servant.

"Morgana…" he whispered hoarsely, the memories of their shortly-lived happiness came rushing to his mind, and he felt the tears well up.

He didn't need to be told, but he knew that the moment, he fell asleep, it'd be the end of a dream.

And it was.

The mention of the high priestess' name had gone unnoticed by the court physician. Yet, even if he had, the warlock couldn't bring himself to care. He buried his face in his pillow, allowing the tears to fall.

"There you go." A voice pricked up and Merlin's heart almost stopped.

"Gwaine?"

Lifting his head up, he glanced up to see the knight approach him with a chalice. Gwaine held it out for him, absently, Merlin took it.

"What..ho..." Shocked, he stuttered.

No seemed to comment on his red eyes. The knight spoke, explaining. "You fainted while we journeyed. I had no choice but to return. It seems that my decision was wise. You've been out of consciousness for almost a day now."

That couldn't be right, could it?

His journey with Gwaine had been established. He had never fainted. Something wasn't correct.

His heartbeats sped up. "The war?" Merlin looked between his friend and mentor.

"Arthur left a day ago. They will most likely reach Camlan by the nightfall."

There was no battle yet.

It was as if he'd come back in time.

His eyes widened slightly. The dots finally had been connected.

Morgana had told him that she had casted the spell after learning of his capability to restore his magic.

The moment he'd fainted must have been the exact moment when she had done that.

Which meant that he hadn't killed her yet. She was still alive.

He needed to find her. But without his magic he wouldn't be able to.

A plan quickly was formed. Get his magic, summon Aithusa and command the young dragon to inform him of Morgana's hideout.

He ignored Gaius' question as he jumped off the bed.

It was with an intensified hope that he marched toward the cave.

Nearing its entrance, Merlin quickened his pace. He was only few feet away when he heard it.

"Hello husband."

He whirled around with a giant smile on his face.

"Morgana?!"

The End

NOTE: You have to thank both my sister and Nyght elf forthis ending, because you guys you really don't want to know what I wrote before changing it. There will definitely not be a sequel, as for an epilogue, I'm not sure just yet.

Many Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, followed this story.

But a huge thanks to my sister who forced my to write this story after finding the draft of the first chapter. One more thing, please review and tell my how did you find the ending.