Alright, so I wanted to give this a shot. This is my first ever fan fiction piece, but I've been reading some others, some of which were very good, and I wanted to give it a go. Please feel free to offer any sort of constructive criticism … I have pretty thick skin and can take it. Although if anyone is just outright like "What is this swill?," I might be a bit sad.
I'm writing this from Temari's point of view and it takes place at the point of where I'm at in the series, which is just after Gaara was brought back to life after the Akatsuki took out Shukaku and he returned to the Hidden Sand Village. (I know! I'm so far behind, but I honestly just got into Naruto a few months ago, and have been flying through them as fast as I can with everything else I have going).
I love writing, though, and it's a nice way to relax and try to develop characters I have grown to love. I am going to try to avoid taking them out of character at all, since I can't stand it when people do that, but I'll apologize preemptively in case I do. Also, I have no idea what level Shikamaru is at in the beginning of Shippuden. He's dressed like a jonin, but I think there's a reference to who is at that level and he's not included in it. Anyone please feel free to correct me!
Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its characters.
XXX
I looked up at the sky as I walked along the thick-packed sand that had formed a shabby road on the outskirts of the village. A few bright stars winked at me out of the darkening sky that framed their brightness perfectly. Dusk was falling, wiping the cool blue with magnificent shades of orange, peach and purple as the sun began to set behind the seemingly eternal stretch of sand. The friendly glittering stars sent mixed emotions, as my first reaction was comfort at not feeling quite so alone, and then a rash of shame and suppression rushed over my body, chastising me for feeling lonely and in need of companionship in the first place.
I pride myself on my logic, my stoicism, and my carefully bound emotions that rarely have a chance to escape and show themselves on my face or in my body language. These are all characteristics that proficient ninjas ought to have and maintain at all times. In my mind, solitude is a preferable status and nothing to be ashamed of … I love time alone with my thoughts to reflect on past missions or experiences or to try and develop new jutsus or train. It's when the contentment found in introspective solitude turns slightly bitter and urges my heart to seek out friends, or even mere contact with another, that I get frustrated with such a sign of weakness.
But tonight is one of those nights. It might have to do with the vast ocean of emotions that are somehow all trapped in the confines of my body, lapping against my heart and mind, and periodically washing me over with a new shade of restlessness, relief, anger, anxiety, and sadness. I am sad for the troubles that had befallen my brothers. Although Kankuro had thankfully been saved from Sasori's poison when Sakura, the leaf shinobi, had arrived in the Hidden Sand Village, Gaara's suffering had been much more acute. He had died, after all. And then been brought back to life by Grandma Chiyo, who had sacrificed her own existence so that he might have his. I was anxious about how he would recover and what the extent of my little brother's power would now that Shukaku had been dispelled from his body. I felt angry that I had not been able to do more to help. I had been put on guard duty while others had rushed off to save my own kin, and while I knew in my rational mind that a good shinobi does what he or she is asked to do for the greatest good for the greatest number of people, my emotions still raged beneath the surface in a white-hot mixture of shame and anger. Perhaps if I had been allowed to go, things would have turned out differently. Maybe I could have helped more. But in the end, I also was relieved that things had not turned out worse than they had. And I felt restless, for now there was a sort of lull as we waited for Gaara to fully recover and for more information on the Akatsuki and their plans to surface or be discovered.
Which is why I now found myself on the dusty roads that snaked their way out from the Hidden Sand Village, my legs headed in the direction of Konohagakure.
As the primary diplomat between our two allied villages, I had been sent to see if any new information has been gathered regarding the Akatsuki and to learn how the mission to meet with Sasori's spy, acting as Orochimaru's subordinate, had went. It was sort of a lame mission, but it helped to curb a little of my restlessness.
I was grateful Gaara had sent me. Although more stoic and introspective than myself, my little brother knew me well. Sensing my anxiety and antsiness, he had relieved me from my duties as a watch guard and sent me on my way.
"Either he knows me well and was trying to help, or my fidgeting and discontent were annoying me," I mused, fully aware either were possible behavior from my unpredictable brother.
Night had now fallen, the sound of wind whispering a sweet lullaby in my ears as I continued on. Every now and then, I used my jutsu to play with the pleasant sound maker. I felt comforted by the sense of camaraderie I felt with the wind, which was both my weapon and my source of protection.
"I'm comforted by the damn wind?" I muttered under my breath, combating my weakness again. Oh well. With no one around to judge my behavior, which I deemed to be the antithesis of what was expected from a good shinobi, I continued to mess with the wind and let the feeling of its cool licks wash me with a sense of serenity.
The air was beginning to turn moist, the smell of rain mixed with vegetation filled my nostrils and I knew that I soon would be on the outskirts of the Hidden Leaf Village. It was a three-day walk between our two villages and while I was enjoying the solitude (at least for the most part), I was anxious for a change of scenery, for some action, to meet with the Hidden Leaf Village's Hokage Tsunade and to feel useful.
Suddenly, without my permission, my mind darted to another thing, or rather person, I was slightly excited about the possibility of seeing. In a split second, his handsome face had formed itself in my mind, his deep brown eyes, piercing. Although generally hazed over with laziness, they were incredibly reflective of the leaf genius' intelligence, and I knew they never missed a thing, catching every last detail and sending it to his mind to immediately process the information. His strong jaw, straight nose. Somehow my mental image of him was incredibly detailed and I wondered to myself if I had really look at him so much as to memorize the contours of his face. I thought of his thick dark hair, always pulled back from his face and tied neatly behind his head. I wondered what it looked like down. I wondered what it would feel like to run my hands through, or to grab a handful of it and yank at it while – another wave of hot shame washed over my body, my face burned with the heat of a blush, and I felt grateful no one was around to see it deepening my cheeks into scarlet.
Fixing my eyes forward I regained control of my thought and pushed all images of Shikamaru Nara out of my head, hoping that doing so would bring my heartbeat back down to its normal pace.
XXX
My meeting with Tsunade had been anything but informative. I was disappointed. Although, it really wasn't her fault. Nothing new had been learned, and I knew that I should have expected as much. Of course it was going to take the Akatsuki time to regroup after losing Sasori and Deidara. And Sakura, Naruto, Sai and Yamato had not yet returned. Thankfully, Tsunade had offered to let me stay in the Hidden Lead Village until they got back, and I was glad I would not be traveling back home empty-handed.
So now I walked through the village, aimless but content to enjoy the sights and sounds of villagers going about their daily business. Vendors sold their goods from small carts, shopkeepers had their doors open to both proudly display their wares and to let the soft spring air trickle in, housewives gossiped at lampposts. To my right, some young genins were practicing the Shadow Clone jutsu, and I couldn't help but smile at the sorry excuses for duplicates that were forming at their sides. However, despite the obvious failure, they continued to try again … and again, their massive effort making me laugh. Suddenly, my body slammed into another person, sending my body backward until a hand reached out to grip my arm. My eyes shot forward and met the smirking face of Shikamaru.
"Of course it would be him," I thought ruefully.
"Day dreaming a bit, Temari?" He asked, with a teasing smile playing at his lips.
I pulled myself straight, trying to regain dignity, and shot back, "Why don't you watch where you're going, Shikamaru?"
I knew I was acting huffy, and his smile confirmed the amusement he found in my behavior.
"Hn. Of course you would blame it on me," he answered, rolling his lazy eyes at me. "Troublesome woman."
"Well, it's nice to see you, too," I teased, calming down from my embarrassment, and trying not to allow my happiness at running into Shikamaru show too much on my face.
"It is nice to see you, Temari," he said, his eyes looking right to mine and a hint of a smile on his face. "Now if you would just pay attention to your surroundings while you're walking, maybe having you around the village wouldn't be such a drag."
His words always got a rise out of me, for some reason. I didn't understand why he got me so worked up …and why his piercing gaze, watching my every move behind what I believe was feigned nonchalance, made my stomach feel like it was dropping.
"You bumped into me too, you jerk," I answered. "What had your attention?"
We had begun walking together, his steps falling in rhythm with mine. While I usually moved with intentional speed, Shikamaru was much more laid back, sauntering along with his hands stuffed in his pockets. Slow-moving people annoyed me, but today, walking slower beside my Leaf friend, I didn't feel frustrated.
Ever since the chunin exams, in which I had beat Shikamaru, a victory that was not at all sweet because of how he had ended the fight, I had grown closer to him as a friend. There was something appealing about this kid, who was at least three years my junior. He was easy to talk to and made me slow down and relax every once in a while, which is good for someone as high strung as myself, I admitted sourly. His sarcasm kept me on my toes, though, and there was something incredibly … sexy … about how smart he was.
"Don't you dare use that word again," I chided myself, as Shikamaru and I continued walking through the village replete with luscious plants we lacked back home, our playful bantering carried on as we shared companionship on the warm summer day.
I felt a new spring in my step as we chatted on, mixing a little bit of seriousness into our teasing. I told him a little bit about what had happened with Gaara, Kankuro and the Akatsuki. He already knew most of it, but listened intently as I retold it with a little of my own perspective mixed in. It felt nice to talk to someone, and I had to push back the urge to open up even more to him. "Keep your emotions in check, Temari," I scolded myself. But there was something about the way Shikamaru's eyes reflected empathy when I talked about what it had felt like to wait for my baby brother to come, pacing back and forth, trying to not let my mind form the worst possible assumptions about the situation. He listened. I liked being listened to. Finally, I decided to shut up and ask him what he had been up to. He explained that he was just in the village for a while, making sure it was as secure as possible, before he was to be sent off on another mission. It seemed logical that they would turn to the genius chunin for help on defensive tactics. He was, after all, a mastermind, I thought with a mixture of competitiveness, respect, and apparently something that made my stomach tighten a little.
Slowly we made are way through the town, taking our time, which was a nice change for me. The sun sank lower and lower in sky, the heat lifting so just a soft warmth touched my skin. I knew our walk would be coming to an end shortly and that Shikamaru would have to leave then; the sadness at the realization caught me off guard, and I immediately tried to stuff it away.
We stopped outside of the apartment building in which there was a room Tsunade was letting me use for the duration of my stay.
"It was good to see you today, Temari," Shikamaru said gently, and I was touched at the sincerity in his voice. Not to say there was an ounce of fidelity in his ways. In all the time I knew him, he was one of the most honest and loyal shinobis, or really people, I had met. It was just that we spent so much time bickering and trying to one-up one another that his gentle voice laced with a bit of affection took me by surprise.
"You, too, Shikamaru," I said, reaching out for a handshake. However, at the last second, my body made a movement without the permission of my head and went in for a hug.
I could see the slightest hint of surprise in Shikamaru's eyes, before he wrapped his arms around me, bringing me snug against his surprising hard chest.
His scent filled my nostrils. "Shit, he smells so good," I thought, as I pressed my body a little harder against his. I could feel his toned back slightly through his green vest, and I couldn't resist moving my hands across it to get a better feel. His breath was warm on my neck and his hair slightly grazed my face. I was suddenly very aware of what was happening as I felt his arms snaked around my body. Could he feel how hot my skin was, or was it all in my head?
I pulled back, regaining my composure and trying to act nonchalant. He followed suit, but I was sure I caught a hint of a smirk on his face. However, he simply shoved his hands into his pockets and sauntered off.
I felt slightly aggravated. I wasn't allowed to act like I enjoyed the hug, but he certainly could have! I knew I was being a bit ridiculous, and I hated that my lazy ass, 18-year-old friend was making me feel this way, so I simply shut him out of my mind and went into the apartment for a relaxing bath that would hopefully relieve me of the tension Shikamaru made me feel, as well as the void that filled my heart as I watched him walk away.