What's in a Name?

Apothecary Severus Snape added a sprig of something that looked like the forepaw of something half plant, half animal to his simmering cauldron and was in the middle of his third stir when he heard the little door shriek that announced the entrance of a customer. The shriek brought a bit of extra atmosphere to the rather dark, cabbage and rotten egg smelling shop. Snape could have freshened it up but stink was an apothecary's best advertising. The stinkier the better.

Snape was about to leave his cauldron to go to the front counter when he heard a familiar shriek follow the familiar shriek, except this one sounded extremely agitated and two octaves higher. He returned to counting stirs as Hermione flung open the door to the back room with an aggravated flourish. She worked for Snape as the "face" of the shop. Snape's customer service skills were dismal at best. When a customer would ask for help, he'd slide them a copy of "Potions for Dummies." So Hermione was quite the valued employee.

Hermione stood in the doorway, huffing and puffing with indignation as Snape totally ignored her, stirring away. Finally she put her hands on her hips, and said in an irritated voice, "Well?"

"Well, what?" Snape replied, not looking up.

"Severus, aren't you the least bit interested in what has me in such a state?" she demanded, walking over to the cauldron and glaring at the Potions master.

"Actually, no," Snape said in a tired voice, but then straightened up and looked at her. "But I suppose you're going to tell me anyway."

"Damn right I am. You should be interested. This involves you, too!"

"Do tell," Snape replied uninterestedly as he looked back at his simmering cauldron. It was slowly turning blue as it should be.

"The next damn fanfic author that throws us together as Snermoine, I'm going to blast them out of their swivel chair or coffee shop or wherever they are! I HATE that!"

Hermione was referring to how some amateur writers combined Snape's surname with Hermione's first name to describe a normally forbidden, twisted or plain unhealthty relationship between the two. Hermione just couldn't help going on the internet and scanning the latest fanfictions. She was a true masochist. Then, she'd come to work and harass Snape about the things being written about them. He could care less then, and cared less now.

So . . . Snape involuntarily shrugged his shoulders, which pissed Hermione off even more.

"Oh, I'm sure that you don't mind that they do that! Your name comes first," she hissed at him.

Snape nodded slightly as his potion turned a beautiful royal blue. He looked up at her and was silent for a moment as their eyes met, brown to black.

"It might not be the ideal combination, but I definitely prefer it to Hernape, Snanger, or even worse, it's fruity alternative," Snape said softly, as he tensed.

"Fruity alternative?" Hermione repeated, her brow creased. "What fruity alternative?"

Snape gave her a little smirk.

"Grape," he replied, ready to dodge the inevitable hex that was sure to follow.

It was a good thing he was quick.

The End

A/N: I dedicate this short to a reviewer of "The Acronym" named Lee kadivar who mentioned the "Grape" designation. I thought it was hysterical and had to share something about it. Thanks Lee!