Thank you guys for reading this far. Thank you so much for reviewing, favoriting, and following. This is just something I thought would be fun to write. It's Arthur's conversation with the 'lady' when he was drunk, from the her point of view. Enjoy.

I was just standing there alone. I had recently broken up with the bench across from me when a man bumped into me...

"Sorry m'lady" The British gentleman said cutely."You have such a bright personality."

"What? I didn't say anything."

"You're so funny."

"What are you talking about?"

"You want to do what?"

"Again. Barely even talking."

"We've only just met."

"Can you start listening to my words for once."

"I suppose."

Suppose? You came up to me!

"Who's the guy?"

"The Frenchie over there?"

"Is he a creep?"

"No, he likes to watch."

"Like you? As in stalking? And you're not alarmed in the slightest?"

"He's been following me for a while."

"Oh, because being a long term stalker makes it better. Where is he even going?"

"His place."

"Whatever."

"Honhonhonhon..."

What the hell? This guy is a creep. Only creeps laugh like this.

"Could you go be weird somewhere else?"

"Wait, what? No, you're cute."

"Well you're not."

"How dare you!"

"You have enormous eyebrows!"

"They're perfectly averaged sized."

The Hell does average mean to you? Each eyebrow has more hair than a chimp does its entire body.

"No, they're not. You should get them plucked."

"Well do you pluck your eyebrows?"

"What eyebrows?"

"Touche..." Arthur started to move his hands up and down the sides of the lamp post. "You're so thin."

"Well, I have been dieting recently."

How sweet.

"Come back to my place and I'll cook you up some scones."

"That disgusting excuse for food?"

"MY FOOD IS EXCELLENT!"

"That's not what I heard."

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU HEARD OTHERWISE?"

"I was talking to the mailbox the other day and-"

"The mailbox?"

"Yeah, we were talking-"

"Why are you talking that mailbox? You know she's a LYING SLUT!"

"She's one of my best friends!"

And you'd learn about her if you shut your trap long enough for me to finish.

"This clearly isn't going to work out."

"I'm sorry you're such a jerk."

"I don't care if you're sorry."

"You should."

"Well."

"Well what? I'm a smoking hot piece of metal!"

"I guess."

"What do you guess? I'm amazing. How many lamppost shine as brightly as I? None!"

"When you say it like that it makes sense..."

"Yeah, I could rock your world."

"Maybe."

Who do you think you're talking to?

"Give me a chance and I'll prove it."

"Oh?"

"Yeah."

"Really?"

"Maybe we could meet up sometime?"

"Give me your number and I'll call you back sometime."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"Can I have yours?"

"No I won't give you mine!"

"Why not?"

You promised didn't you? Why does it matter?

"I shouldn't have to explain!"

You lying son of a bitch! And after you promised!

"The I'm not giving you mine!"

"It never would have worked out anyway."

"Why's that?"

"It's definitely you, have you looked at me? I'm bloody perfect." When it began to slowly drizzle, he continued. "No baby, don't cry."

"I'm not crying, I never wanted you in the first place."

"You will find love someday, it just wasn't meant to be for us, in fact, I'm so jealous of whoever's gonna get to marry you."

"Why couldn't that have been you?"

"Well that's because-" Arthur dashed off trying to avoid the lamp post's stare. Arthur was so busy looking back that he didn't notice the trash can he ran into.

"What the Hell was that?" That was one of the strangest nights I've ever had, but the next day was even more peculiar. I met a smoking hot trash can...