My house was a small, one level house, with a kitchen, living room, laundry room, and two bedrooms. The only bathroom was the one that adjourned my mother's bedroom, but I didn't mind having to use my mom's bathroom. I'd had to share a bathroom with my mother since we'd moved into this house when I was three, so it didn't matter anymore.

Soon, however, I wouldn't have to share a bathroom with my mother. I'd have to share a bathroom with my dorm mate, if I had a dorm mate. I didn't know how that would work yet, and I wouldn't until he got there. There was only ten days left until I left for college. God, high school had gone by so fast. I definitely wasn't going to miss it, but it seemed kind of surreal. Those days during freshman year when I got shoved around and beat up every day had lasted forever in their own time. All those mind fuck math classes, the lunch periods spent alone in the corner or the cafeteria, the few occasions I'd spent in lockers… it had all felt like it lasted forever, and it was now all over. Now I would go to college.

Was it weird that I was looking forward to it? I was looking forward to staying up all night drugged on coffee and ADHD medication trying to finish term papers, or trying to sleep because I had a test the next day and having to yell at my roommate to turn down their porn. I was looking forward to being broke, overworked, starving, and overloaded with homework, because for the first time I'd be free.

No, college would not be like high school. College doesn't consist of hundreds of sexually frustrated, hormonally imbalanced, pissed off teenagers shoved into a building they didn't want to be in with people they hated. College was different. Instead it would be a bunch of opinionated young adults, no longer hormonally imbalanced, getting laid enough to not be sexually frustrated, who wanted (mostly) to be there.

The only downside was that my boyfriend, Gerard, was going to a different school. Gerard was going to an art school in New York City. Dude, how cool was that? Also, my mom seemed pretty depressed. She would randomly start crying or hug me. And then, there was the thing Gerard would not stop reminding me of…

"Have you thought of a way to tell her yet?" Gerard asked me. We were laying on my couch watching some stupid zombie movie we'd both seen too many times. Gerard's head was resting in my lap and I had my hand setting on his chest.

"No, Gerard," I sighed. "I haven't."

"You're leaving in nine days," he said, "Don't you think you should tell her?"

"I think I can figure this out on my own, Gee," I rolled my eyes. Sure, I sounded snappier than necessary, but we'd had this conversation before. I really didn't like thinking of way to tell my already depressed mother that her baby boy was gay. I had better things to think about, such as the zombie movie we were watching.

"You need to," he sighed.

"Why? Why is it necessary?" I demanded.

"Because she's your mother, and she deserves to know," Gerard retorted. "You'll have to do it eventually, and it'd be better if you didn't tell her when you're forty because she keeps asking why you're not married,"

Gerard had a point.

"Okay, fine," I sighed. "I'll think of something,"

Suddenly the front door opened, and Gerard sprang off my lap in unhuman speed. It was my mom, home from grocery shopping.

"Oh, hello boys," she smiled at us, and I got up to help her with the groceries. Gerard followed me, and we managed to get them all in with one trip. "Thank you, sweet hearts,"

My mom was used to seeing Gerard around. He'd only haunted the house since we'd became best friends in ninth grade. She basically adopted him, and he even called her mom now. If only she knew that he was actually my boyfriend.

"I know you've been going through your things to pack, Frank," my mom said, giving me a sad smile and putting almond milk in the fridge. "If there's anything you want put up, just put the box in the attic, alright?"

"Sure," I said. "Gee, you wanna help me pack?" I asked, and then Gerard and I left for my room.

"I have a box to take to the attic. Wait here, okay?" I instructed, and Gerard nodded, making himself comfortable on my bed. I pulled down the little ladder thing and climbed up the stairs carefully with a box in my arms. I stashed it up there and turned to leave when my toe caught on a box and I tripped, landing on my stomach just inches away from the hole in the floor.

A few words shot out of my mouth as my heart went faster than the road runner. I turned back to look at which devil box tried to kill me, and I saw a boxed tipped over with something sticking out of it. Curious, I sat and pulled the box over to me.

Dude, I totally forgot about my old teddy bear! Yeah, I used to have a teddy bear, and his name was Batman. Don't ask. I hugged the dusty old bear to my chest for reasons I didn't understand and looked to see what else was in the box. The only other thing was a photo album. Still curious, I pulled the book out as well and went back down the ladder. I couldn't look at the book in the dark, and there were too many fucking spiders in the attic.

Back in my room, Gerard was sprawled on my bed flipping through a magazine. He didn't even look up when I walked in, so I sat down on my bed next to him and smacked him on the ass. He jumped, and I smirked.

"Ow, Frankie, what?" he asked, and I shoved Batman in his face.

"TADA!" I yelled happily, and he pulled the suffocation bear out of my grasp to investigate.

"This poor thing has seen better days," Gerard noted, pulling at the already torn ear.

"Don't you dear pull his ear off, Gerard!" I nearly squealed, grabbing the bear back.

"Dude, chill," Gee giggled adorably. "What is it?"

"Batman," I smiled. "He's my teddy bear from when I was like three,"

"You named it batman?" he asked, quirking an eyebrow in an adorable way. I nodded. "You are such a dork, babe."

"Thank you," I smiled. "But dude, I found a book," I added, tapping the book on my lap.

"What is it?"

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Well then open it, dummy!" Gerard demanded, sitting up so that he had a leg on either side of mine, and he could look over my shoulder at the book.

I opened the first page, and it was a photo album. Oh geeze, not something you want to look at with your BOYFRIEND! It was baby pictures. Freaking baby pictures with me and the stupid teddy bear. There I was, teeny tiny and snuggled up to the bear. On the page, in my mother's hand writing, it said 'Frank Anthony Iero, one day.'

"D'awww, Frankie!" Gerard cooed, teasingly pulling at my ear. "Look how cute you were!"

I laughed and flipped through the pages. My mom took my picture with that stupid bear every month. After eighteen months I was bigger than the bear. My nineteenth month I was tackling the bear in the picture. Gee and I both giggled at that one. The book ended half full at three years and four months. That meant my mom had stopped taking pictures after she and Dad divorced.

For some reason I found myself clutching the bear.

"You were a cute little kid," Gerard said, squeezing my shoulders a little. "What happened?"

"Shut up, bitch. I'm adorable," I said, smirking.

"You're absolutely beautiful, Frankie," Gerard said, kissing my cheek.

My mom's call came from the kitchen and she asked if Gerard was staying for dinner. Gerard told me he had to head home, but that he'd text me that night. I said goodbye, and he gave me a kiss in my room- out of my mother's sight. We'd been secretly kissing like that for the past two years- for as long as we'd been dating.

!

Later that night after Gerard and I had said goodnight for the night, and I was lying in bed staring at my ceiling, an idea hit me. I immediately jumped out of bed, grabbing Batman from my bedside table, and stood in front of the mirror on my dresser. I held the teddy bear up and hugged him and looked in the mirror. No, I didn't look too stupid. In fact I looked pretty damn adorable. The idea was perfect.

I fell back on my bed with a smile and texted Gerard.

"I have an idea," I texted.

!

Disposable camera from walmart- $5. With barely any time left of summer, Gerard and I decided to go to the park. I had the teddy bear in one hand, and Gerard's hand in the other. I lifted his hand to my lips and kissed it for no reason at all. It was covered in ink stains, the fingernails were sharpied black, and they smelled like paint remover.

"Okay," he asked. "Where do we start?"

!

It was the last day before I left for college. I'd gotten the photos developed the day before, and now I was anxious. Around noon, I tucked the baby book under my arm along with Batman and held the envelope in my other hand. I went to my mom's bedroom and found her on her bed painting her nails.

"Hey mom," I said. "Can I come in?"

"Come on in, sweet heart. What's up?" she asked, patting the spot next to her carefully.

"I found this in the attic," I said, feeling butterflies flutter around in my stomach. My mom's face lit up when I set the book on her lap, and clutched the bear to my chest. Geeze, I was eighteen years old, and I needed my teddy bear to come out to my mother.

"Oh darling," she gasped, flipping through the book. "I nearly forgot about this old thing,"

I saw tears build in her eyes.

"I have something for you," I told her, handing her the envelope. "I thought, since I'm leaving for college soon… I just thought since I'm all grown up we could add one too it."

"That's a beautiful idea," she said, opening the envelope. I felt my heart flip nervously.

The pictures were cute, I have to admit that Gee and I did a great job. There was one of me hugging the bear in front of a tree. The next one was me sitting on the bench turned away from the bear and pouting, as if I'd gotten into an argument with him.

"Gerard helped me take them," I said, as if breaking the ice as to what was coming.

"You're going to miss him when you go to college, aren't you?" she asked me, looking at a picture of me and the teddy bear standing at the top of a slide. 'You have no idea,' I thought, but I didn't say it.

"Yeah," I said instead. The next picture was the one where I had jumped off the swing and thrown the bear at the same time, and Gerard took my picture midair. I'd hurt my ankle kind of when I landed, and Gerard carried me around the park saying he didn't want me hurt anymore. I can't say I didn't like it, but I bet we looked pretty ridiculous- two gay guys in the park, one being carried around by the other and clutching a teddy bear.

A few more pictures and then the moment of truth. We came to a picture that was a close up of my face, kissing the teddy bear on the cheek. My mom chuckled, and then turned to the last picture. It was almost identical to the first, but this time instead of a teddy bear there was Gerard, making this ridiculous face that we had laughed about for at least twenty minutes afterwards. I saw my mother's eyebrows crease and my heart stopped. She turned to the last picture, the one of Gerard and I kissing and holding the bear between us. We'd had a random lady take that one for us. At the bottom I'd written with sharpie: Please accept me3

"Frankie, darling," my mom said, a bit unsure.

"Mom…" I said at the same time. She stopped talking, so I took a deep breath and continued. "I'm gay," I said. Her facial expression didn't change, and she still looked concerned.

My stomach dropped. She couldn't accept me this way. I wasn't supposed to be gay! I'd known since seventh grade, when we were in the locker room and I realized after swimming that I wanted to look at the guys when they were naked. But I'd gone to a Catholic school from kindergarten to eighth grade. I knew that I wasn't supposed to be gay, that I was 'sinning.' But it's not like I could help it. I loved Gerard, more than I'd ever loved anybody. I NEEDED to be with him.

"Mom…" I felt my throat grow tight, thinking I'd just ruined everything with us. I blinked back tears. "I'm sorry, Mom… I-"

"Shh," she grabbed me into an incredibly tight hug, basically pulling me onto her lap. How did I still fit on her lap. "Shh, darling, of course I accept you. I love you, Frankie. You're my son," she said, and I buried my face in her neck for a second. When we pulled apart I carefully pushed myself back off her lap and onto the bed.

"But, I'm not supposed to be gay…" I said, sounding stupid.

"You are who you are, and you're my son. I love you, straight, gay, whatever. Even if you were a crossdresser…"

"Uhh, no," I chuckled, and she laughed as well.

"I'd still love you," she finished. "You'll always be my baby boy," she hugged me again.

The doorbell rang and I knew it was Gerard. I told him to come over afterwards, and he was right on time.

"Uhh, that's Gerard," I said, standing awkwardly.

"Well, let's not leave him outside!" my mom said, smiling. "Let's go let your boyfriend in," I smiled at her.

"Just wondering, Frankie," she stopped me before I opened the door. "How long?"

"How long have I been dating Gerard, or how long have I known I was gay?" I asked in return.

"Both,"

"I've known I was gay since seventh grade," I said. "And Gerard and I have been dating for two years," I added.

"You've hidden it for that long," she sighed, and I swear my heart broke.

"I was scared," I said in a weak voice.

"I know," she sighed, putting a gentle hand on my shoulder. "But you never need to be afraid to tell me something, Frankie,"

I opened the door and Gerard was standing there with a small boquet of flowers. "Flowers?" I asked him.

"For mom," he said, handing them to my mother, who smiled and smelled them. Gerard shot me a look that said 'does she know?' I answered out loud.

"Yes, she knows now, Gerard. And she's totally cool with it," I said, beaming. Gerard smiled wide and wrapped me in a bear hug.

"I love you, Frankie," he whispered in my ear.

"I love you too," I said. "Forever and always, Gee,"

My mom, who had left the room, called from the kitchen. "Vegetarian stir fry is done. Get your asses in here!" We laughed, because let's face it, my mom is awesome, and went into the kitchen. It could not have gone better!