Robbery
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. And after this I doubt they'd ever let me. ^^;
Any OOCness is likely due to my being a hopeless dubbie. That and I think I wrote this over one night. Likely _late_ one night. (Please god tell me I got the guy's name right...) Oh yeah, and Nubia is/was just south of Egypt. (Please tell me I got that right...) Any and all details about theme parks are likely innacurate; the conclusion must have a large degree of implausibility. (Gee, makes you wonder why I'm uploadin' this in the first place...) So pleeeaaase don't lynch me...
~
"Hm hm hmmm..." Yugi's grandfather hummed, dusting his cards.
(Of course, with THAT innnocous a beginning, you know something bad's gonna happen.
"Hey!" yelled a voice that sounded suspicously like Mokuba Kaiba. "_I_ didn't!!"
^^; Wait 'till you get a little older....)
Sure enough ("It was NOT sure!" "SHUT UP!"), the door crashed open.
"ALL RIGHT!" someone dressed in black screamed. "Gimme all your money!"
"...Why?"
"...Because I said so?"
"Suuuuure. Now get out before I shoot you."
"Meep!" The robber left.
Yugi's grandfather continued dusting. For all of ten seconds.
"All right!" The robber leaped back in. "I got a weapon now!"
Sugoroku blinked. "What IS that?"
"...^^; A paper towel roll..."
"Please. I do have a shotgun."
"Arrgh..." The robber stalked back outside.
Ten seconds passed. Sugoroku was about to continue dusting when, sure enough...
"Oh god, kid, what now?!"
"See? It's _sharp_."
"Oh. Okay then. Whaddaya want?"
"Give me all your money!"
"Why?"
"...Because I said so dangit all!"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE!"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE!"
"Why?"
"BE--THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK!!!"
"It sure was for a minute there..." Sugoroku dusted a vase.
"LISTEN TO ME!!" He stamped in fustration.
"Why--" He blinked. "Wow. I've only met one person who's as short as _you_!"
The robber gritted his teeth in fustration so acute he couldn't even scream out curses. "And--who--could that--have been?" he finally asked.
"Oh, my grandson. But he's a bit shorter than you."
"Is that soooooo... GIMME THE MONEY!"
"Mm-hmm. Say, that's an odd hood you got on..." He yanked on one of the spikes.
"OOW! Dangit, that's cruel and unsusal punishment!" The robber rubbed his head.
"You mean, that's what your hair looks like?!" His eyes widened. "But that's physically impossible!"
"Yeah, well, what about your grandkid?"
"Hey, how'd you know about my grandson's hair?"
"His picture's right there..." The robber pointed to a picture on the wall.
"Oh yeah. Well, my grandson makes a habit of defying all natural laws. You wanna hear about his yami?"
"NO. Money? Please? Like I asked?"
"No."
"Why noooot?!" the robber whined.
"God, Yugi, take off that ridiculous mask and TALK to me!"
Yugi sighed and yanked off the hood. "When'd you find out?"
"I plead the fifth. Now, why are you trying to steal our money?"
"Because..." Yugi sighed. "Because, I figured if I stole today's money, you couldn't make me go on the school trip!"
"You could have just asked!!"
"I _did_!"
-Flashback-
"Graaandpaaaa..." Yugi whined. "PLEASE don't make me go?"
"No! You NEED a social life! You're spending too much time alone!"
"I don't spend ANY time alone anymore."
"...You sound schitzophrenic. Stop it. You're scaring me."
"But Grandpaa--"
"YOU'RE GOING! And that's FINAL!"
-End of Flashback-
"Well--" Yugi's grandfather stopped, flustered. "Well what's the big deal, anyway?! Why can't you just go?!"
"It's to an _theme park_. You know how I hate theme parks!!"
-Flashback-
"I'm sorry, sir. Your grandson will have to sit this one out."
"Oh. Darn. See ya, Yugi!" Sugoroku leapt into a seat with a single grandmother. "Hi. How's it going?"
"Aw man..." Little Yugi sniffed. "DARN SPINNING TEACUP RIDE!"
-End of Flashback-
"Oh yeah." He sweatdropped. "Well, everyone _else_ will have fun! And also! I think you've grown enough to go on the teacup ride now!"
"But I don't WANT to go!"
"Tough!" He resumed his dusting.
"ARRGH!!!" Yugi stormed out of the shop.
".....Ah well. He'll be back."
-The Next Morning-
Sugoroku turned on the television.
"--And in world news today, Egypt has been conquered yet again! A mysterious figure that calls himself Yuugioh, apparently a name out of obscure ancient Egyptian mythology, has taken over the country and named himself Pharoah. One of our cameramen was there when the strange event occured. Here is just some of the exciting footage he obtained. We are NOT making this up."
"HEY! _I_ wanted to take over Egypt!!"
The camera panned to Yami Bakura, who was shouting angrily up at Yami. He had to shout up because Yami was posing oddly on top of a building.
"Like I'd let you! This was MY country, you're just an immesurably stupid tomb robber!" Yami yelled back.
"Well, I'm taking Nubia, so there!" He stuck out his tongue and stalked off.
"Go ahead! What do I care?!"
"Hey!" someone in the crowd yelled (according to the subtitle). "Why should we listen to YOU?!"
Yami held up a card. His puzzle flashed brightly, and a Blue-Eyes White Dragon loomed behind him. "Any more questions?"
Silence.
"All right! I don't really care what you do, as long as you don't hurt anyone by it! And rest assured, if you break one of my yet-to-be-truly-drafted-again laws, I _will_ know about it! And I _will_ kill you! Or something close enough. Got it?"
Everyone nodded fervently.
"All right, go back to, eh, whatever it is you peasants do this millenium." Yami waved a hand dismissively.
The clip ended. "No editing whatsoever was used in the preceeding clip. That actually _happened_!--And in other world news, the new Egyptian ambassador to Israel and Palestine appears to be making progress, by--and this is from an eyewitness account-- 'whacking people upside the head with some gold pyramid thing and yelling at them'. Negotiations are under way, apparently at threat of death or worse. Miracle, or sign of Armegaddon? More at eleven. In local news--"
Yugi's grandfather turned off the TV. "Hmm. Well. There's _one_ useful thing I've done with my life."
He got up to dust his cards.
~*~
Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh. And after this I doubt they'd ever let me. ^^;
Any OOCness is likely due to my being a hopeless dubbie. That and I think I wrote this over one night. Likely _late_ one night. (Please god tell me I got the guy's name right...) Oh yeah, and Nubia is/was just south of Egypt. (Please tell me I got that right...) Any and all details about theme parks are likely innacurate; the conclusion must have a large degree of implausibility. (Gee, makes you wonder why I'm uploadin' this in the first place...) So pleeeaaase don't lynch me...
~
"Hm hm hmmm..." Yugi's grandfather hummed, dusting his cards.
(Of course, with THAT innnocous a beginning, you know something bad's gonna happen.
"Hey!" yelled a voice that sounded suspicously like Mokuba Kaiba. "_I_ didn't!!"
^^; Wait 'till you get a little older....)
Sure enough ("It was NOT sure!" "SHUT UP!"), the door crashed open.
"ALL RIGHT!" someone dressed in black screamed. "Gimme all your money!"
"...Why?"
"...Because I said so?"
"Suuuuure. Now get out before I shoot you."
"Meep!" The robber left.
Yugi's grandfather continued dusting. For all of ten seconds.
"All right!" The robber leaped back in. "I got a weapon now!"
Sugoroku blinked. "What IS that?"
"...^^; A paper towel roll..."
"Please. I do have a shotgun."
"Arrgh..." The robber stalked back outside.
Ten seconds passed. Sugoroku was about to continue dusting when, sure enough...
"Oh god, kid, what now?!"
"See? It's _sharp_."
"Oh. Okay then. Whaddaya want?"
"Give me all your money!"
"Why?"
"...Because I said so dangit all!"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE!"
"Why?"
"BECAUSE!"
"Why?"
"BE--THAT'S NOT GONNA WORK!!!"
"It sure was for a minute there..." Sugoroku dusted a vase.
"LISTEN TO ME!!" He stamped in fustration.
"Why--" He blinked. "Wow. I've only met one person who's as short as _you_!"
The robber gritted his teeth in fustration so acute he couldn't even scream out curses. "And--who--could that--have been?" he finally asked.
"Oh, my grandson. But he's a bit shorter than you."
"Is that soooooo... GIMME THE MONEY!"
"Mm-hmm. Say, that's an odd hood you got on..." He yanked on one of the spikes.
"OOW! Dangit, that's cruel and unsusal punishment!" The robber rubbed his head.
"You mean, that's what your hair looks like?!" His eyes widened. "But that's physically impossible!"
"Yeah, well, what about your grandkid?"
"Hey, how'd you know about my grandson's hair?"
"His picture's right there..." The robber pointed to a picture on the wall.
"Oh yeah. Well, my grandson makes a habit of defying all natural laws. You wanna hear about his yami?"
"NO. Money? Please? Like I asked?"
"No."
"Why noooot?!" the robber whined.
"God, Yugi, take off that ridiculous mask and TALK to me!"
Yugi sighed and yanked off the hood. "When'd you find out?"
"I plead the fifth. Now, why are you trying to steal our money?"
"Because..." Yugi sighed. "Because, I figured if I stole today's money, you couldn't make me go on the school trip!"
"You could have just asked!!"
"I _did_!"
-Flashback-
"Graaandpaaaa..." Yugi whined. "PLEASE don't make me go?"
"No! You NEED a social life! You're spending too much time alone!"
"I don't spend ANY time alone anymore."
"...You sound schitzophrenic. Stop it. You're scaring me."
"But Grandpaa--"
"YOU'RE GOING! And that's FINAL!"
-End of Flashback-
"Well--" Yugi's grandfather stopped, flustered. "Well what's the big deal, anyway?! Why can't you just go?!"
"It's to an _theme park_. You know how I hate theme parks!!"
-Flashback-
"I'm sorry, sir. Your grandson will have to sit this one out."
"Oh. Darn. See ya, Yugi!" Sugoroku leapt into a seat with a single grandmother. "Hi. How's it going?"
"Aw man..." Little Yugi sniffed. "DARN SPINNING TEACUP RIDE!"
-End of Flashback-
"Oh yeah." He sweatdropped. "Well, everyone _else_ will have fun! And also! I think you've grown enough to go on the teacup ride now!"
"But I don't WANT to go!"
"Tough!" He resumed his dusting.
"ARRGH!!!" Yugi stormed out of the shop.
".....Ah well. He'll be back."
-The Next Morning-
Sugoroku turned on the television.
"--And in world news today, Egypt has been conquered yet again! A mysterious figure that calls himself Yuugioh, apparently a name out of obscure ancient Egyptian mythology, has taken over the country and named himself Pharoah. One of our cameramen was there when the strange event occured. Here is just some of the exciting footage he obtained. We are NOT making this up."
"HEY! _I_ wanted to take over Egypt!!"
The camera panned to Yami Bakura, who was shouting angrily up at Yami. He had to shout up because Yami was posing oddly on top of a building.
"Like I'd let you! This was MY country, you're just an immesurably stupid tomb robber!" Yami yelled back.
"Well, I'm taking Nubia, so there!" He stuck out his tongue and stalked off.
"Go ahead! What do I care?!"
"Hey!" someone in the crowd yelled (according to the subtitle). "Why should we listen to YOU?!"
Yami held up a card. His puzzle flashed brightly, and a Blue-Eyes White Dragon loomed behind him. "Any more questions?"
Silence.
"All right! I don't really care what you do, as long as you don't hurt anyone by it! And rest assured, if you break one of my yet-to-be-truly-drafted-again laws, I _will_ know about it! And I _will_ kill you! Or something close enough. Got it?"
Everyone nodded fervently.
"All right, go back to, eh, whatever it is you peasants do this millenium." Yami waved a hand dismissively.
The clip ended. "No editing whatsoever was used in the preceeding clip. That actually _happened_!--And in other world news, the new Egyptian ambassador to Israel and Palestine appears to be making progress, by--and this is from an eyewitness account-- 'whacking people upside the head with some gold pyramid thing and yelling at them'. Negotiations are under way, apparently at threat of death or worse. Miracle, or sign of Armegaddon? More at eleven. In local news--"
Yugi's grandfather turned off the TV. "Hmm. Well. There's _one_ useful thing I've done with my life."
He got up to dust his cards.
~*~