She couldn't sleep.
She wasn't bothered by the small, unfamiliar noises that drifted throughout the night; she wasn't uncomfortable, despite being in a strange bed. She was however, exhausted after spending the entire day unpacking and sorting her few belongings throughout the apartment, so she should have had no trouble falling asleep. But try as she might, sleep would not come. She'd been tossing and turning for hours and it wasn't hard to figure out why she was so restless; she knew what was wrong.
She missed Rumplestiltskin.
It had been her desire to move out and Rumple, who was doing anything and everything he could to please her, had given her this apartment and the library below it, to do with what she would. She had decided to go to bed early, eager to get through the night so she could start cleaning and organizing the library as soon as possible. She had (the decades that was here seems redundant) centuries of literature to catch up on, and she couldn't wait to start reading. She already had a small stack of books she was dying to explore sitting on the kitchen counter, and she couldn't wait to add to it.
However, she wouldn't be fit to do anything tomorrow if she didn't get some sleep. She tried to put all thoughts of Rumplestiltskin away; tried not to think of him alone in his bed, and she wondered if he was just as miserable there as she was here. She looked over at her small nightstand and saw her cellphone lying there charging. Her hand twitched and she had half a mind to call him. She picked up the phone and blinked as the light of the screen briefly blinded her. The small clock read 2:45. It was far too late to call him. She placed her phone back on the table and rolled over onto her side. Staring at the empty space next to her, she groaned in frustration. This was ridiculous, she thought. She wasn't some simpering and clinging girlfriend who was absolutely lost without her man beside her. She was independent and brave. She'd faced the Yaoguai back in their old world, and she'd been on her own, essentially, for the past twenty eight years.
That thought gave her pause. That was it, she realized. She wasn't being clingy or silly. She was just tired of being alone.
Making up her mind, she sat up and reached over for her phone again. She no longer cared that it was almost three in the morning, and that this separation had been by her request. She had thought that getting a place of her own would help her figure out what she wanted out of her life in this strange new place, and now she realized that all she wanted was the man she had pushed away because he'd been afraid to open up to her. After the way she'd acted recently, she figured he'd probably be even less willing now.
She opened the contacts list and scrolled through the few she had entered until she found Rumple. She refused to call him Gold. She understood that everyone had different names and identities here but she couldn't bring herself to call him anything other than who she knew him to be. He was not Mr. Gold, not to her. She didn't know Mr. Gold. She knew Rumplestiltskin, and although he didn't look the same as the man she'd fallen in love with at the Dark Castle, it was him nonetheless.
She hit 'send' and placed the phone to her ear. She knew she was going to wake him up, but she couldn't bring herself to care. The phone rang only once before Rumplestiltskin's voice came through on the other end. "Belle," he said breathlessly, and she knew that he'd been awake too. Apparently he shared her feelings.
"I don't like this," she admitted.
"Don't like what, dear?" He asked, slightly calmer now. They both knew why she was calling, but Rumplestiltskin would not make the first move. It was up to Belle to initiate, and while some might consider it cowardly on Rumple's part, Belle found it endearing. He was letting her decide.
"I don't like this," she gestured around her before realizing that he couldn't see what she was referring to. "My being here, you being there. When I decided to take the library and move in here, I thought it would be exactly what I needed, to be on my own. But I've been on my own for over thirty years and I'm tired of it."
He was quiet for a moment before replying, "It seems we are in agreement."
She smiled and asked, "Why did I think this would be a good idea?"
"Because you want to find yourself," he explained gently. "I wasn't honest with you, first of all, and you wanted to have space. Your experiences here in Storybrooke have been less than agreeable, and you desired time and space to figure out who you are in this world. Moving there probably was for the best."
"If it's for the best, then why do I feel so horrible?" She asked desperately, placing her hand on her forehead and sighing.
"Perhaps it's just nerves," he offered. "You're in an unfamiliar place. Maybe the unfamiliarity of it all is getting to you."
"No, it's not that," Belle said thoughtfully.
"Then what is it?" He pressed, and again, she knew he was waiting for her to take the first step.
"I miss you, Rumple," she whispered, her voice breaking, but she continued, "I have been without you for so long, and I just-" She sobbed slightly, then continued, "I just want-"
"What do you want, Belle?" He asked suddenly, desperately.
"You," she whispered.
There was a silence on the other end of the phone, but before Belle could worry, she heard the faint rustling of sheets and the distant thump of his cane. "Ten minutes," he said quickly, and she knew he was rushing to get dressed. "I'll be there in ten minutes."
She smiled, "Okay," then hung up.
She waited by the door, peeking out of the peep hole every few seconds to see if he was there. She leaned against the door and wondered briefly if time had frozen again. After checking for probably the fifteenth time, she sighed with relief when she saw headlights. He pulled up in front of the library, shut off the car, and walked to the side of the building where the entrance to the apartment was. He climbed the few stairs quickly but carefully, and when he reached the top, he raised a hand to knock. Instead, the door flew open to reveal Belle standing there in her nightgown, looking anxious yet exuberant. He stepped inside, flinging the door shut and wrapped her up in his arms, holding her as close to him as he could. She wound her arms around his neck in return and squeezed, wanting to assure herself that he was really there.
"Thank you for coming," she whispered to him and he tightened his hold on her.
"I'll come anytime you want me to," he said. "Even at three in the morning." She laughed and settled contentedly in his arms. After several moments of just holding each other, Belle pulled away, took his hand in hers and led him toward the bedroom. She crawled into bed and watched as he slid a small duffel bag from his shoulders and placed it on the chair on the other side of the room. After rummaging through it for a moment, he pulled out a pair of black cotton pajama pants and a black shirt and walked into the adjoining bathroom to change. He emerged a few minutes later and placed his day clothes back in the bag and let his cane rest against the chair. Limping over to the other side of the bed, he pulled the sheets back and slipped in, resting his back against the headboard, stretching out his bad leg with a groan. Belle moved closer to him and placed her head on his chest. His arms instantly went around her, and they sat there for some time, relishing the fact that they were together.
He'd become quite comfortable, knowing she was safe in his arms and the peace he felt now, mixed with the exhaustion of being a mere mortal awake at three A.M. finally got to him, and he began to nod off.
"I feel positively silly," Belle said suddenly, and Rumple stirred awake. In an effort to stay awake, he began to stroke Belle's arm softly. "Why is that?"
She snuggled closer to him. "I just made you come over at three in the morning because I was lonely. And I just woke you up to tell you that, I'm sorry."
He placed a kiss on top of her head and whispered, "You have nothing to apologize for, sweetheart. You're adjusting. You've spent so much time in solitude, it's natural that you would want to be near another person."
"Preferably you," she said as she began tracing patterns across his chest. "Always you." She looked up at him with a small smile and, overwhelmed at the fact that she wanted him in her life at all, he brought his head down and brushed her lips with his.
"Oh, how I love you, Belle."
She placed a quick kiss against his lips and sighed, "I love you, too." Her head returned to its place on his chest, and they sat there for a few moments, both tired but unwilling to let the moment between them end. Another moment passed and Belle mumbled happily, "This is nice."
He hummed in agreement, "It is."
"Makes you wish we could do this every night," she said carelessly, then froze at her words. They could do this every night. Had done it for several nights before she'd gone on her tirade of wanting to decide how she spent her life. What good was her life here if her True Love wasn't in it? She'd told him she never wanted to see him again, and he would have done just that. He gave her this apartment so that she could be free of him. He was nothing if not selfless when it came to her, and though they still had plenty of things between them to discuss, she knew in that moment that while she didn't exactly want to move back into his home- she did like it here - she certainly didn't want him out of her life.
Tonight was a clear indication of that.
Rumple was quiet, but she knew what he was thinking. She shifted slightly and looked at him apologetically. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"
He shushed her and gently rested his hand against her cheek. "Belle," he said gently but firmly, "I'm not going to impose on you. I want nothing more than to keep you by my side at all times, but you are right. You need to have a life of your own. If you want, I'll come over as many nights a week as you allow and stay with you. I'm closer to the shop here, anyway. We'll make whatever arrangements you want, and maybe someday, I will invite you to move back in with me, and you'll say yes. But I won't ask until you're ready. And if that takes another twenty-eight years," he chuckled briefly and glanced down at the tiny bed they were in, "Then I'll just have to buy you a bigger bed."
She hugged him then, thanking him and assuring him it would definitely not take her twenty-eight years.
"We'll figure out everything tomorrow," she said with a yawn. "If we don't go to sleep soon, we're not going to be able to function at all."
They settled down into the bed and Rumplestiltskin pulled her tight against him. "I have you in my arms," he stated as if she weren't aware of that fact, "I don't give a damn about tomorrow."
She smiled at him and he leaned closer to press another kiss to her lips. He was right, she thought as their kiss began to grow deeper. She was in his arms, everything was perfect, and sleep could wait. His hand trailed gently under her shirt and a sigh escaped her.
Oh, yes. Sleep could definitely wait.
End
Thank you Sirensong24 for looking this over!
Disclaimer: I do not own Once Upon a Time.