Summary: Where Tony gets turned in to a woman by Loki, decides to go out and experience her female body, forgot she can now fall pregnant, have sex without protection, falls pregnant and angst about it; all in that order. Where Harry wonders why his first hook up in years can't just be a normal girl? SLASH/HET. HP/TS.

Disclaimer: Not mine.

A/N: Het/Slash. Harry/Tony.

Prologue

Anthony Stark turns in to Antonia Stark at 5.10 PM on March 10th 2010. And much to the envy, I'm sure, of those who had undertaken the long and tedious journey of changing one's sex through a combination of surgery and medication, Tony's "journey" takes about 10 seconds. One moment he was going on and on about Loki and idiots in front of a rather bored audience, the next moment, his hair had suddenly lengthened to his waist, his voice became 10 octaves higher and his suit were tight at the exactly wrong places. Tony was so surprised by the new development that he actually stopped mid-sentence and looked down at himself.

"Hmm," was the only thing he managed to say before Steve – good old reliable Steve – jumped out of his seat and pointed an accusing finger at a rather smug looking Loki.

"What did you do?" he asked coldly, his hands clutched in to fist as if resisting the urge to punch the god. Tony could sympathize; ever since Loki played a rather cruel prank on the man a few weeks ago, the god was number one on Captain America's shit list. Whenever Loki was concerned, Steve would lose that "calm" that he was known for and turn in to some kind of rage monster. Even if Tony hated Loki with a passion, he can't help but feel pity for the guy for having to face Steve's ire.

"Stark was whining like a girl so I've decided to turn him in to one; he'll still whine but at least now, he's pretty to look at," was Loki's flippant answer, "You're welcome."

With that said, Loki smirked at the assembled Avengers once more before disappearing in the blink of an eye.

It took another 10 minutes before the rest of them recovered enough to express their opinions about the present situation. Clint, always ready to mock Tony at any given situation, went first. He looked Tony up and down before giving the man turned woman an exaggerated leer.

"He's right Stark; you do look good."

Instead of getting offended like Clint had probably thought he would, all Tony did was strike a pose, putting his rather generous bosom on display, and blew the archer a kiss.

"Why thank you sweetheart," he cooed in a rather disturbing tone, "I'm here all night."

Natasha snorted at that before getting up herself to inspect Tony's new form.

"Loki's been nice," she remarked after a while, "You look better as a woman as you did a man."

Before Tony could reply, Steve interrupted by saying loudly, "Am I the only one who sees the potential problems here? What if Loki can't turn you back, Tony? Have you thought about that?"

Tony froze mid-smile, his heart suddenly beating a thousand miles per hour as he took in Steve's words. What if Loki can't turn him back? But that was impossible…right? Loki was a god for…god's sake, if he can turn Tony in to a woman, surely he can turn Tony back. But…Steve's right, Loki was a rather unpredictable player in this game they're playing; he may very well decide that he didn't want to revert Tony to his original state because he finds that funny or something. Oh god, Tony could be stuck like this; he may appreciate the female form just fine but he didn't want to end up one for the rest of his life!

Taking in all that in to consideration, suddenly his new predicament didn't look so cool anymore.

He must have been lost in his little panic attack because he barely realized when Natasha started speaking again. But he did compute when Clint slapped the back of his head hard to bring him back to reality.

With tears in his eyes due to the sudden pain, Tony turned a reproachful look at the man.

"I can't believe that you would dare hit a lady."

"It'll take more than a female body for me to start treating you like a lady, Stark," Clint deadpanned, "Besides, you were panicking; that's the best way to bring you out of it."

Tony sighed, suddenly feeling extremely tired for some reason and sat down on the sofa. He took another deep breath before looking up at his friends.

Steve, by now, had calmed down enough to throw him concerned apologetic smiles; Bruce was on the phone with Thor, from the looks of it, and barely looked at him. Natasha was still staring with a rather uncomfortable intensity, while Clint's joking smile had dimmed a little.

This was just great.

Before they had to break the silence with awkward small talk, while ignoring the big elephant in the room, Bruce got off the phone and came over.

"I talked to Thor," he told the group, "he's visiting Jane but he agreed to go back home to ask his father about this."

"Well," Tony commented in what he hoped was a light tone of voice, "I'm sure Daddy will know what to do. There's no way I'll be stuck like this."

Nodding his head in conviction, Tony stood up and stretched, wincing slightly when the movement made the front of his suit press rather painfully against his newly acquired breasts. He really needed some new clothing because there was no way he was going to continue wearing his old outfits in his new body.

Natasha must have noticed the reaction because she took hold of the crook of Tony's arm and started dragging her to the door.

"Hey," Tony protested feebely because he may be brave, but Natasha still scared the crap out of him sometimes, "Where are you bringing me?"

"Your room," Natasha replied, "I'm calling Pepper to bring you some cloth."

It was a testament of how weird their life was that the moment Tony was out of the room, this whole "turning in to a woman" thing was forgotten in favor of more interesting topics of conversation – aka who can beat Bruce on Wii Mario carts.

09090909

"So…when I received a call from Natasha to bring over some of my old outfits, I didn't think it was for you, Tony," Pepper said when Natasha opened the door to let her in and she finally took in the sight of her very female boss, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Tony spluttered before asking her: "How did you know it was me?"

"Because Tony," Pepper replied patiently, "You turning in to a woman is actually more credible than you letting some random woman be in your room without you being present."

"That doesn't even make sense," Tony protested, waving his arms around in emphasis.

"Your life doesn't make sense," Pepper told him with a shrug before thrusting the bag in to his arms, "Now, go change."

With no other choice but to obey, Tony took the bag and headed towards the bathroom. Walking with a new center of balance wasn't easy but Tony managed it fine without tripping once. He may have looked drunk but the most important thing was, he succeeded.

Once the door was closed behind him, the genius took out the first article of clothing out of the bag. It was a bra.

Although Tony had taken off his shares of bras over the years, asking him to put on one was a mystery he wasn't sure he could solve. For once thing, the bra had so many clasps and dingles that Tony didn't even know where to start. Tony was resolutely not thinking why Pepper had something as racy as this part of her wardrobe and concentrated on getting the thing securely around her upper body. He struggled with it for a while before finally giving up and yelling for help.

Pepper came in as soon as the words left his mouth and gave Tony an amused look.

"Wow, I thought you would've been an expert as this but I guess I was wrong."

Ignoring her dig at his love life, Tony turned around so that she can help him get the thing on. With Pepper's help, the task was quickly completed, leaving Tony to pull on a shirt and a skirt.

"There, done," he said proudly as he did a 360 degrees turn for Pepper and Natasha out in his bedroom, "That was tedious."

"Hmm," Natasha agreed, "You're not really good at this woman thing but luckily you won't have to be for much longer."

"Why?"

"I received a call from Thor while you two were in there; his father was quick to find the spell that Loki casted on you; apparently it will wear off in a day or so."

"So I'll be back to a man tomorrow?"

"That's right."

Tony gave both them a brilliant smile before heading towards the door.

"Hey," Pepper called out, "Where are you going Tony?"

"This is probably the only time in my life that I'll be a woman; do you really think I'm not going to take advantage of that and experience my womanhood to the max?"

"Oh god," Pepper groaned, realizing what Tony was talking about, "You're going to have sex, aren't you."

Although she phrased it like a question, it really wasn't; he knew, she knew. Tony wasn't one to deny new experiences and he knew he would regret it his whole life if he didn't take advantage of it.

"I'm going clubbing," he called over his shoulder back at them both before quickly making his way down the corridor.

"Tony!" Pepper yelled after him, "Don't forget protection; you're a woman now."

Of course, by then, Tony had already tuned everything out and was thinking excitedly about the evening to come. If he had listened to Pepper, maybe – just maybe – none of what happened next would have occurred.

To Be Continued…

Next chapter: The club.