A/N: I will only say this once. I do not own Bleach, the characters, or the world. I only own my own characters and their stories.

A huge thank you to Writophrenic! Without your support and feedback when I needed it, I don't think this would have happened.

Prologue

There was no going back.

Lightning illuminated the scene before me; I hadn't moved. My limbs wouldn't work. A light rain was slowly soaking my shoulders and hair, water running down my face. I didn't swipe at it.

I could feel my heart in my throat, in my ears, in every square inch of my body. The same body Zephyr had touched on our wedding night. He had kissed every single inch of it.

The man who was my best friend, my confidant, my husband. The one who trusted me completely.

The man who lay before me now, holes shredded through him, eyes staring out at nothing.

I could feel the scream rising in my lungs, the breathlessness that slowly consumed me like fire.

Dead, dead, DEAD.

Zephyr was dead. Zephyr was DEAD.

Because of me.

Because of me.

Because of me.

Because of ME.

Because I couldn't kill this hollow myself.

Because I didn't tell him my secret.

Because I put him in harm's way.

I had to move. The hollow was regenerating, steam rising from it's back where Zephyr had just wounded it.

It hadn't been enough.

Maybe I should just die, too. Maybe that should be my punishment. I am a horrible, terrible person. And I'm charged with killing hollows and protecting my peers?

I should die. I'm the worst of the worst.

So I don't move as the hollow turns to face me, it's long nails gleaming in the lightning. Blood is still dripping from them. Zephyr's blood.

I lose myself. I scream.

There's a flash of green and the hollow screams. Opening my eyes, I find Ulquiorra standing in front of us, like a shield.

For a moment, there's relief, but then the guilt sets in, drawing tight my lungs and tensing my body until I'm sure I'll break.

Now I have to live.