Vince McMahon sat at one of his many homes, on one of his many chairs, and
one of his many wives, Linda McMahon, walked into the room. He heard her
coming in the door and called:
"Stacy, is that you?" Linda walked in and folded her arms. She stared at him for several minutes.
"Oh, uh, of course not. I knew it was you all along. You know you're the only woman for me. Especially now I've taken myself off of TV in order to once again become the genetic jackhammer and get us another kid," said Vince. "Quite frankly, I don't think the ones we have know are good enough. So until we can have a better child, I've adopted Eric Bischoff as our new son. I've left him running RAW. Stephanie can run Smackdown! until she supplies us with a grandchild, then she will be removed from the family. I might give Shane a job running Heat, just because I don't like him at all."
Linda shook her head and walked out, having had her vocal chords surgically removed to prevent her from ever speaking in her awful voice ever again.
Meanwhile, at the WWE-bat-cave, new GM of RAW Eric Bischoff sat plotting his evil schemes. All of a sudden Stephanie McMahon walked through the door and started laughing.
"How did you manage to infiltrate the bat-cave?" asked Bischoff.
"I was let in by RAW security, who are all defecting to Smackdown. Along with the woman who collects the coffee mugs from backstage after each show," said Steph, who was grinning inanely.
"No! You can't take Betty! I will knock you out! I WILL knock you out! I will KNOCK you out! I will knock YOU out! I will knock you OUT!"
HHH walked the corridors of the arena RAW was being held at. He saw Y2J and immediately thought up 20 new ways of holding back his career. He had to admit, getting Bischoff to put him with Test and Christian had been a great idea. He almost felt sorry for Jericho. Almost. Then he would remember that Jericho had talent but wasn't HHH, so the remorse faded and he realised that was what Jericho deserved. He turned the corner and saw Rob Van Dam. He immediately thought up 5 ways of holding him back. Put him in a tag team with Spike Dudley sounded the best, so he went off to tell Bischoff.
Meanwhile Ric Flair sat in his dressing room, wondering why he hadn't retired yet. Still, he had a feud with Jericho coming up, which guaranteed him many wins.
Matt Hardy sat in his dressing room, wondering why HE hadn't retired yet. He felt he wasn't being taken seriously enough. All he seemed able to do was wish his brother Jeff good luck. He never seemed to get any matches. Jeff put his head into the dressing room.
"Well, I'm heading out for my big match tonight," said Jeff.
"Good luck, bro," said Matt.
RAW went on the air, and fans watching on TV at home were horrified when Eric Bischoff's face came up with a ridiculous grin on it. Eric Bischoff came out and told everyone he was going to knock Stephanie McMahon out, then left. When he arrived backstage he was surprised to see Mae Young and Moolah had arrived. He panicked. The truth could come out. They were heading for the ring. It was time for Eric to take drastic action.
Moolah started talking about her new book and she was surprised when the fans all started to boo her. Surely old people were funny? Surely they made great TV? No-one booed Hogan or Flair, did they? Suddenly, the Island Boys came running down to the ring and assaulted the two ladies. Eric Bischoff breathed a sigh of relief. Know no-one would know that he was really the father of Mae Young's glove.
HHH came out to the ring to talk for awhile, talking about people not wanting to relinquish the spotlight when their time was over. He couldn't understand why everyone was laughing, and furrowed his brow. He decided he would have to talk to Bischoff and ban fans from attending shows.
In the back, HBK had been viciously attacked. No-one knew who the culprit was, but fingers were pointed at Coach. Coach strongly denied the allegations, saying he had been with a cow all evening.
After, Coach and Rock filmed the latest edition of their new sitcom. Coach did a funny dance while Rock stood staring at him like Coach was an absolute retard. The episode ended when a cow fell on Coach's head. He was rushed to hospital with serious injuries.
Big Show told everyone he was going to become a huge name in the business once again. He told everyone he was going to get a feud with someone he could actually get wins over. Chris Jericho and Brooklin Brawler were suggested as possible opponents for this.
Bischoff put the phone down. He had only managed to get Stone Cold's machine again. Austin had disappeared along with Debra. Perhaps if he stopped telling them he would knock them out they would call him back. In the meantime he called Goldberg again.
To be continued...
"Stacy, is that you?" Linda walked in and folded her arms. She stared at him for several minutes.
"Oh, uh, of course not. I knew it was you all along. You know you're the only woman for me. Especially now I've taken myself off of TV in order to once again become the genetic jackhammer and get us another kid," said Vince. "Quite frankly, I don't think the ones we have know are good enough. So until we can have a better child, I've adopted Eric Bischoff as our new son. I've left him running RAW. Stephanie can run Smackdown! until she supplies us with a grandchild, then she will be removed from the family. I might give Shane a job running Heat, just because I don't like him at all."
Linda shook her head and walked out, having had her vocal chords surgically removed to prevent her from ever speaking in her awful voice ever again.
Meanwhile, at the WWE-bat-cave, new GM of RAW Eric Bischoff sat plotting his evil schemes. All of a sudden Stephanie McMahon walked through the door and started laughing.
"How did you manage to infiltrate the bat-cave?" asked Bischoff.
"I was let in by RAW security, who are all defecting to Smackdown. Along with the woman who collects the coffee mugs from backstage after each show," said Steph, who was grinning inanely.
"No! You can't take Betty! I will knock you out! I WILL knock you out! I will KNOCK you out! I will knock YOU out! I will knock you OUT!"
HHH walked the corridors of the arena RAW was being held at. He saw Y2J and immediately thought up 20 new ways of holding back his career. He had to admit, getting Bischoff to put him with Test and Christian had been a great idea. He almost felt sorry for Jericho. Almost. Then he would remember that Jericho had talent but wasn't HHH, so the remorse faded and he realised that was what Jericho deserved. He turned the corner and saw Rob Van Dam. He immediately thought up 5 ways of holding him back. Put him in a tag team with Spike Dudley sounded the best, so he went off to tell Bischoff.
Meanwhile Ric Flair sat in his dressing room, wondering why he hadn't retired yet. Still, he had a feud with Jericho coming up, which guaranteed him many wins.
Matt Hardy sat in his dressing room, wondering why HE hadn't retired yet. He felt he wasn't being taken seriously enough. All he seemed able to do was wish his brother Jeff good luck. He never seemed to get any matches. Jeff put his head into the dressing room.
"Well, I'm heading out for my big match tonight," said Jeff.
"Good luck, bro," said Matt.
RAW went on the air, and fans watching on TV at home were horrified when Eric Bischoff's face came up with a ridiculous grin on it. Eric Bischoff came out and told everyone he was going to knock Stephanie McMahon out, then left. When he arrived backstage he was surprised to see Mae Young and Moolah had arrived. He panicked. The truth could come out. They were heading for the ring. It was time for Eric to take drastic action.
Moolah started talking about her new book and she was surprised when the fans all started to boo her. Surely old people were funny? Surely they made great TV? No-one booed Hogan or Flair, did they? Suddenly, the Island Boys came running down to the ring and assaulted the two ladies. Eric Bischoff breathed a sigh of relief. Know no-one would know that he was really the father of Mae Young's glove.
HHH came out to the ring to talk for awhile, talking about people not wanting to relinquish the spotlight when their time was over. He couldn't understand why everyone was laughing, and furrowed his brow. He decided he would have to talk to Bischoff and ban fans from attending shows.
In the back, HBK had been viciously attacked. No-one knew who the culprit was, but fingers were pointed at Coach. Coach strongly denied the allegations, saying he had been with a cow all evening.
After, Coach and Rock filmed the latest edition of their new sitcom. Coach did a funny dance while Rock stood staring at him like Coach was an absolute retard. The episode ended when a cow fell on Coach's head. He was rushed to hospital with serious injuries.
Big Show told everyone he was going to become a huge name in the business once again. He told everyone he was going to get a feud with someone he could actually get wins over. Chris Jericho and Brooklin Brawler were suggested as possible opponents for this.
Bischoff put the phone down. He had only managed to get Stone Cold's machine again. Austin had disappeared along with Debra. Perhaps if he stopped telling them he would knock them out they would call him back. In the meantime he called Goldberg again.
To be continued...