Zig Novak's POV:

I wasn't exactly sure how to handle the scene in front of me.

The only way to describe the moment was haunting. Campbell Saunders' son sat hunched over, holding his face in his hands, and sobbing uncontrollably.

I felt like my past was coming back all at once and punching me right in the face. Like how Dylan had been punching that Parker kid, or how Cam had once given me a black eye just a day before he died.

I tried to clear my head. I was a teacher. No, it wasn't exactly where I planned on ending up, but I was good at it. I had to keep my cool. I had to help this kid. If nothing else, because he was also Maya Matlin's son.

I cleared my throat. "Dylan." I spoke softly, as if I were approaching a wounded animal.

Dylan looked up reluctantly. His black eye made the fact that he had been crying even more obvious. His blue eyes shined against bright red veins and pools of tears.

"Dylan, there's nothing I can say or do to make this better." I admitted.

Think of what Maya would want to hear. I thought to myself

"But I'll start with the truth first." I sighed. "I lied before. I did know your dad. When he came to Degrassi we had mutual friends… but we… we didn't always get along or know each other very well." I paused searching for something, anything to help console this kid. "You're going to hear a lot of things in the next few days and you're going to feel really bad for a while, but I want you to know something, alright? You aren't him."

Dylan was silent, but at least he had stopped his horrible crying. "Why did you lie?" He finally asked.

"I knew you wanted answers, and I was afraid I wouldn't be able to give them to you. I didn't know how much your mother told you." I explained.

"You love her." It wasn't a question, more of a blank statement.

I shook my head. "I thought I did once… But I do care about you, Dylan. You are a talented musician, a good kid. I want to see you succeed." I sighed when there was no response. "Well, if you need someone to talk to, you know where to find me."

Dylan nodded, and just then the door opened.

"Mr. Novak."
"Principal Simpson." I responded.

"I need to see Mr. Saunders in my office, now." Simpson said quickly.

Dylan slid off his chair and started to walk out.

Suddenly he stopped in front of me.

"Thank you." He said.

"For what?" I asked.

"For being the first person around here to tell me the truth." Dylan half smiled. A smile that reminded me so much of Cam, it hurt.

But I returned it all the same. "I'm just sorry that I didn't tell you sooner." I admitted.

Dylan nodded at me, shoved his hands in his pockets, and walked out.

The words you aren't him echoed in my mind. But the kid was so similar to Cam, it was hard to back that statement up.

I just hoped he had enough Maya in him to fight through this…

Dylan's POV:

When I got to Simpson's office, someone was leaving.

My first instinct was to wipe my eyes, but then I decided I didn't care. Let them see who I am.

Then I saw who it was; Maisie.

"What are you…?" I started.

But Principal Simpson was already at the door.

"Ah, Dylan, please take a seat."

I sighed and made my way into the spacious office. I took my place in front of Simpson's desk.

Principal Simpson cleared his throat and then sat down at his desk.

"Now Dylan, I understand that this is a very hard time for you. I have already spoken to Mr. Lough about what happened and first and foremost I am terribly sorry that this has happened to you." He said.

I looked down, blinking away fresh tears.

"However, seeing as Mr. Parker has just been sent to the hospital to be checked for a concussion, I've spoken to some witnesses of the fight this afternoon. They all say that you, Dylan, started the fight. While I understand your anger and frustration, violence is not something we tolerate here at Degrassi. I am afraid I am going to have to suspend you for the entirety of next week." He paused, maybe waiting for me to interject or argue, but I said nothing. "I've already been in touch with your mother as well, she is on her way here to pick you up."

I nodded. The thought of facing my mom terrified me. I didn't want her to know that I knew. I didn't want her to see me upset. But most of all, I didn't want to feel how angry I was at her.

"I will send a teacher with you to your locker to retrieve your things and then I will see you soon." Simpson finished.

I looked up at him. "Is Novak still around?" I asked. "I'd like him to go with me, if that's possible."

Simpson gave me an odd look, but then nodded. "I'll have him meet you outside the office."

After I had shoved most of my stuff into my backpack, Novak and I headed out the front doors.

We stood there for a minute, silently. Novak's words from earlier in the nurse's office replayed in my head. He said I wasn't him. I wasn't my Dad. It comforted me for a few minutes, but I just couldn't get myself to believe it. But, it was nice that he believed in me. That he didn't see me as some sort of ghost sent back to haunt him.

Finally my mom's car pulled up. She jumped out, before she even saw me standing there, and raced up the steps.

She stopped short at the sight of me, or was it the sight of Novak? I wasn't sure.

After a quick nod to Novak, she stepped over to me.

"Oh Dylan…" she whispered, looking up at my blackened eye.

I wanted to say something. I knew that I should say I was sorry for fighting, or tell her I was alright.

But neither of those things were true.

Maya's POV:

As I stood on the familiar steps of Degrassi looking up at my son, my heart broke. My Dylan, my baby boy looked bruised and beaten. Not only physically, but I could see the brokenness on the inside. I had seen it before on a face so similiar. I didn't know what it was back then, but I knew now. I had learned the hard way, and I was not going to let anything like that happen to my son.

He wasn't speaking to me. He could barely look at me. He was angry, and he had every right to be.

"Let's go." I said softly. I motioned to the car.

He sighed and started walking. I looked up at Zig who was watching my dejected son walk away with concern in his eyes.

"Thank you." I said, even though I wasn't quite sure what I was thanking him for.

He nodded. "He's a good kid… Just… take care of him Maya."

At first I was angered by his comment. I was taking care of him. I thought I was doing the right thing as a mother. What did he know about parenting anyway?!

But I was too exhausted to be angry for very long. "I will." I replied, and then I turned my back on him.

As I got in the car and shut the door, the tension was so heavy I could barely breathe.

Dylan was staring straight ahead. He said nothing, did nothing, and just generally looked defeated.

I put the keys in the ignition, but didn't drive away. Instead I sat there trying to come up with what to say.

"Dylan…" I started. This seemed to snap him out of his daze.

He looked over at me and I could see the tears in his eyes. "Why? Why didn't you tell me?"

I sighed. "I didn't know how." I said truthfully.

"He killed himself, Mom! There was no 'tragic accident.' He did it to himself!" Dylan wiped fiercely at his tears. "You made him sound like this great guy. All this time he was my hero, and all this time it's been a lie."

"He was a good guy, Dylan, he was. He was sick, I didn't know how to help him. I…" I didn't know what to say. I didn't know that this day would come so soon.

Should I tell him about how angry I was when it happened? Should I tell him all the good times I had with Cam before he was gone?

I decided the best option was to comfort my son. "I didn't want you to find out like this. I wanted to sit you down and talk about it. I'm so sorry Dylan. I'm so sorry that this all happened to you."

Dylan was silent. He was contemplating something.

Before I could react, he flung the passenger side door open and jumped out.

"Sorry isn't good enough." He said before slamming the door.

Dylan's POV:

I didn't know where I was going. I just knew that I had to get away. I had to get away from my mom, from my school, from everything.

I hated my mom for lying to me. I hated my dad for leaving me. I hated myself for not figuring it out sooner.

I should've asked more questions about him. I should've asked to go to my grandparents more. I should've told my mom about my dreams. But I didn't, and nothing can change what's happened. There's no going back.

The sun started setting as I stumbled upon the ravine.

At first I was nervous, but then I heard a familiar voice call my name.

"Dylan!" It was Rocky, standing around with a few other guys, a beer in his hand. He worked his way over to me. "What are you doing here?" He looked at my eye. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Not important." I told him. "You having a party or something?"

"Yeah, I guess you could call it that. We're just hanging out, drinking some beer. The usual Friday night. You want to join?"

My first instinct was to say no, to go back home and face my mom and Dallas. But I didn't want to do that. I wanted to forget. I wanted to get away.

"Yeah, sure." I walked over to the group of guys. One offered me a beer, which I took gratefully.

Then I drank another, and another. Things started to get hazy after that.

I remember seeing Maisie, her face lit up with fear. "You're parents have been looking everywhere for you!" she exclaimed.

But that wasn't true. "My mom might be looking for me, but my dad is dead." I slurred at her.

She grabbed my sleeve, pulling me towards her, trying to get me to leave. "Dylan, you're drunk. You should let me get you home."

I pushed away from her. "No! I don't want to go home. I hate them."

"You don't hate them, Dylan. You're just mad." She told me.

I ignored her. "All this time, I've just felt so lonely, so sad. I thought something was wrong with me, turns out it's just in my blood." I paused, I don't know if she said anything. I wasn't paying any attention. We were in an isolated corner under the trees. "They betrayed me. They lied to me my whole life. They never let me see my grandparents, they never answered any of my questions, and I thought that was okay. I thought that was how it was supposed to be. It was easier to pretend he didn't exist, easier for all of us."

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"Why does everyone keep saying that like they think it fixes anything?! 'I'm sorry you're dad killed himself, I'm sorry you're crazy.' That doesn't make him any less dead and me any less psycho."

"You're not a psycho."

"Yes, I am. I have no one. Even you betrayed me, Maisie. My one friend at Degrassi, and you betrayed me. You told Simpson I started the fight. Why didn't you help me?" I asked.

"I'm trying to help you right now, Dylan. I'm still your friend."

"Why?" I asked her.

"Why what?"
"Why are you still my friend?"

She paused, her face turning a light shade of pink. "Because… because I'm in love with you Dylan."

I took a step away from her. "You're what?! No, no you can't be in love with me."

"And why is that?" she demanded.

"Maisie, don't you see? We could never be together. I would just end up hurting you like my dad hurt my mom. I don't want that to happen." Suddenly I was crying and I couldn't stop it. Maisie took a step towards me, but I stepped away from her again. "They were right, Maisie. I am like him. I'm a ticking time bomb just ready to explode and kill everyone in my wake. I'm Suicide Saunders."

"You're not, Dylan. You're good, don't let Parker get to you."

I started to walk away from her. I was finished talking to her, I was finished trying to explain.

She called after me, but I just went back to the other guys. I guess she left then. I never turned around to check.

The next thing I remember is Rocky's arms around me, supporting my weight. He was helping me up my driveway.

I tried to squirm out of his grip, but it was too tight. "Calm down, kid. I gotta get you home."

"I can walk the rest of the way!" I protested.

Rocky let me go and I stormed up the steps to my house. When I looked back, Rocky was gone. I guess he didn't want to get in trouble with Dallas.

"Mom! Open up! It's Dylan!" I called, I could hear my voice slurring.

Dallas opened the door. He stood in the doorway with his arms crossed.

"Let me through." I mumbled.

"Not until you calm down, Dylan." He looked down on me. He was so damn tall and so damn bossy.

I tried to push past him, but I knew it was no use. Just like Rocky, he was stronger than me. Everyone was stronger than me…

"I need to talk to my mom." I told him.

"She's in bed." He replied sternly. "So is Asha."

"I don't care!" I yelled at him.

Dallas stepped down onto the porch and closed the door behind him. "Look, kid you're drunk and angry. I get it. I've been there. But you aren't thinking rationally right now. It's not a good time to talk about things."

"And when would be a good time to talk about things? Apparently never." I looked up at him. "You were his captain." I said, remembering an old conversation. I thought about Dallas and his rough demeanor. I thought about all the times I thought he was a real ass hole. He could be so impatient, he could be downright cruel. "You were his Parker, weren't you? I bet you're the reason he's dead! You're his Parker! You're his Parker!" I don't know how many times I shouted that at him, but he just stood there looking at me.

Then I moved forward. I don't know what I was going to do. I think I wanted to punch him or try to push him out of the way again. Instead, I ended up tripping on my own two feet.

I fell forwards and Dallas caught me. I started crying again. I wished I could stop. I wished that the pain would go away.

"He was my dad." I whispered. "He was my dad!" This time I yelled. I don't know who I was yelling at. Dallas, my dad, my mom, maybe the whole world.

"He was my dad," I cried "and I'll never meet him." I finished, and then I passed out.

AN: To whoever is still reading this story: THANK YOU! I have been crazy with writer's block. I know it's frustrating when writer's update slowly! You've been so patient and I really hope you still like my work! It may be a bit over-dramatic, but hey it's Degrassi!