I don't own Criminal Minds. Okay, so Zugzwang...wow. Just really sucked. A lot.

Schachmatt

Part 2: The Red Queen's Castle

Emily looked at her friend. He looked broken, alone, and not at all like the young man she had left behind. This was simply not Reid. It couldn't be.

She put her bag down, "Hey Reid," she stated softly.

"Hello," he said briskly, a monotonous edge coloring his greeting. He didn't bother to acknowledge his visiting friend. He had to focus on the case. It was the only way to-he broke his own train of thought. No, he couldn't even bear to go there.

"Reid," she repeated.

"What?" he asked sharply, before looking up and flinched back at her face. "Emily."

She put her hand on his arm, "I came as soon as I heard."

"That what? I screwed up again? Do you guys think I can't handle myself, is that it?" his voice rose, "If you haven't noticed, I'm FINE."

She pulled her hand back as if she had been burned. The last time he had lashed out like that, it had been at JJ. Now, she understood what it was like to be on the receiving end of Dr. Spencer Reid's anger, and it wasn't a good thing.

Emily slowly rested her hand on his shoulder before letting go and leaving the room.

"He's not fine. Even though he came back to work, he's not okay. JJ, he's lost."

Her friend nodded in agreement, "I know," she said ruefully. A part of her wanted to go and hug him until he found a way to let go of the pain, but she knew it was never that simple.

The entire team watched as Reid finished up his work. Well, until he let out a frustrated, loud sigh and threw the files into his bag. Slamming the door to the room on the way out, he left. They could all the signs: the sadness, the hunched over posture-even more so than usual- and the utter loss of words. They had never seen him not talk.

Hotch was getting tired of this. His teammate was hurting that much was certain, but he couldn't lash out like this. They all needed to focus to function, and one of the members aching made it so all of them did.

"Garcia?" he asked.

"Yes, sir?" the bubbly woman quipped lightly, trying to force the shock out of her voice.

"Find out where he's going."

It was drizzling as he walked the worn path. The hill itself seemed to remember his footprints, his last path still faintly marked by his tread. He licked his lips lightly as he stood by the grave. This was wrong, it shouldn't have ended like this.

He hadn't wanted to yell at Emily. She had come all the way from London to comfort him, and he had ignored her. Ignored them all, actually. After them trying so hard to get him out of his shell, all he did was make their jobs more difficult.

What would Maeve have thought about him acting like this?

Spencer stood at the grave, silent. He steeled himself once more, shoving his feelings down to go back to his job. He'd been doing it for almost a week now, he could keep it up.

He could hear steps behind him. He stated dully, "Why did you follow me?"

All seven of them came out, wet from their unsheltered walk in the rain. He turned around, glaring at his surrogate family.

"Reid…"

He roughly pushed his hair out of his face, "I'm fine. She's gone. That's all there is to it."

"We know you're hurting."

He gave JJ a look that quelled her. They wouldn't dare. How could they possibly know?

"Don't," Spencer stated shortly. "Don't try."

Blake stepped forward, looking at him intently, "We're sorry Reid, but we care. I may be new to the team, but we all care. We're not letting you go it alone."

Reid looked at all seven of them. They were dripping as they stood in front of him, their determination unwavering. He could see it in their eyes, rain regardless.

Without speaking, he turned back around to face the grave as tears welled up in his eyes. He was done, he was tired. Spencer stared at the grave, images filtering in too quickly.

He felt his knees buckle, and felt the grass push against them as he collapsed into a kneeling position before her grave. He was openly sobbing now. He could feel warmth embrace him, and knew it was Garcia.

"She's gone, Pen! She's dead," he stammered. He held her arms as they wrapped around his chest, willing them to stay.

She hushed him, "I know, honey. I know."

"I-I never got to tell her the truth."

They were silent. He needed this. Morgan watched as his friend crumbled.

"I never got to tell her that I loved her."

Emily slowly sat down next to him, her manicured fingers gently resting on his thigh, "She knew, Reid."

He sniffled lightly, "How could she? The last thing I ever said was that I didn't love her. That I didn't care for her."

"Trust me, Spencer," JJ said softly, "She understood. I could see the way she looked at you. Even at gunpoint, she was strong. For you. Maeve loved you, and she knew you loved her. She's at peace, and she's hoping you'll be able to do the same."

He muttered sensitively, "It hurts…"

Garcia squeezed him tighter, "Oh, sweet cheeks, I know it does. It gets better. We're all here, aren't we?"

They all waited there, a family in their own right. One of their own was hurting, and together, they were healing. Slowly, the rain trickled, wavering and beginning to slow. The drops flew soft and swift, kisses upon their cheeks.

Reid asked them for a moment alone. He would be strong for Maeve. He'd get back up, like he always did, and find his way through this. Maeve was counting on him too. She was one-of-a-kind, and a part of his heart was still shattered, but she would want him to move on.

"I love you Maeve."

He placed the book he meant to give her all those weeks ago on her grave. He wouldn't be ready to face this overnight, but it was a start.

As he walked to his team waiting at the bottom of the hill, he turned back to look at it one more time. The note tucked in the ribbon had flown out. But, he didn't bother running after it. It would reach her.

He was sure of it.

Love seeks one thing only: the good of the one loved. It leaves all the other secondary effects to take care of themselves. Love, therefore, is its own reward.

Castle: a move to protect the king