A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews, favorites, and follows. I haven't had much free time lately, so I'm sorry for not being able to reply to them properly. But I do appreciate every single one of them. (: I haven't had a chance to look over this, so please point out any mistakes.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

And this story's mine, and this moment's mine.

Can I steal your pain and shed it away?

To amend this pain, to avoid this pain,

can I share this pain and keep away?

Semper Memor

Stage 4

Realization.

It was something Suzaku had yet to familiarize himself with. He was more opt to obliviousness.

It had been a couple weeks since he had that talk with Lelouch. It was constantly on his mind and it had yet to fully register. It was as if he was keeping himself from accepting the truth, and instead living behind this happy facade that everything was perfect.

He caught one of the books from falling out of the pile he had in his arms and clutched them closer to his chest. He was a lot clumsier than usual, and he decided to blame that on his less-than-amazing mood, along with sleepless nights and the pile of homework he had yet to touch. To anyone else he probably seemed normal, even if that was far from the truth.

He sighed.

"Suzaku, hey!" a voice yelled over to him.

Suzaku turned his head to see Shirley and Gino coming his way. It was only when they reached him that he noticed the cat snuggled in Shirley's arms.

"Whose cat?" he asked. He inspected the cat closer and found no collar around it's neck. "A stray?"

Shirley nodded. "Yeah, can you believe it?" She pet the cat on the head and smiled as it purred at her touch. "He's super friendly too. Here, why don't you pet him?"

"I'm not good with animals," Suzaku said as he shook his head. The black feline looked innocent enough, but Suzaku didn't have the best past when it came to animals. Especially cats. Lelouch popped into his head if only for a moment, a memory of days past flashing through.

She pushed the cat into his arms, forcing Suzaku to set his books down. "Here. You two need to bond, he's going to be your new dorm partner after all!"

Suzaku looked at her quizzically, but had no time to reply as he felt a sharp pain on his finger. "Ow!" The cat had bit his finger and innocently stared up at him, but seemed as if it had no intention of letting go.

"Are you okay?!" She quickly pulled the cat out of his grasp, Suzaku wincing as the cat let go. "Do you need to get that checked out?"

"No, I'm fine..." A little blood was coming out of the small wound on his fingers, but it was nothing a band-aid couldn't take care of.

"Are you sure?" She sounded unsure, but waved it off when Suzaku shook his head.

"This little guy has some fight in him," said Gino. He pat the cat on the head. "Isn't that right, Arthur?"

"Arthur?" Suzaku was surprised at the name. It was so...plain.

"Yeah, you know, like King Arthur?"

"Uhm, I'm not really sure where you're going with this, Gino."

The blonde haired boy was about to reply when Shirley cut him off. "Don't forget to take good care of Arthur, okay guys?" It was then that her eyes lit up in excitement. "We should have a party to celebrate your new roommate!"

"Now you're starting to sound like Milly," said Gino.

Shirley handed off Arthur to the blonde. "You really think so?"

Suzaku could only stare at the cat nestled in Gino's arms. He could barely take care of himself, let alone anyone else. He definitely didn't have the money for it, but since it was Gino's idea, he assumed the blonde would be excited to have an animal at the dorm and help pay for it. He once told Suzaku he wasn't aloud to have pets back home.

"Anyway, let's head back, Suzaku."

"Huh... yeah."

"Are you feeling alright?" Gino sounded concerned.

Suzaku kept his eyes on the path in front of him. "I'm fine."

It was then that Gino stopped walking. "You can't fool me, buddy. You've been down in the dumps for weeks. You may be able to fool everyone else, but you can't fool your best bud." He wrapped his free arm around Suzaku's shoulders, as usual ignoring people's personal spaces. Suzaku had gotten use to it.

"It's nothing," he said, and it sounded like he was trying to reassure himself. This was the last subject he wanted brought up. Cats only reminded him of an event that happened in his past, with a person he tried to keep out of his mind. He was failing miserably.

He looked at his watch, a silver Rolex Lelouch had gotten him for his birthday back in high school. It gave him a lot of fond memories, and he couldn't find it in himself to get rid of it.

Afternoon was turning into evening as his watch struck one o'clock.

"Huh? It's that late already?!" Gino let go of Suzaku in a rush. "I promised Kallen I'd meet her for lunch, crap! Can you take this cat back with you?" Without waiting for an answer he shoved Arthur into his arms. "Thanks, you're the best! I'll see you later!"

Suzaku looked at Arthur who perked up his ears and watched as Gino ran off.

"I guess it's just you and me."

The cat let out a little meow.

Suzaku couldn't help but stare at Lelouch in utter surprise. "A cat?" It was rare for his significant other to take a second glance at a person, let alone an animal.

Lelouch merely blushed as he held the cat out for Suzaku to hold. "He didn't have a home, and they were going to put him down."

He was reluctant to take the cat, and probably would have denied even taking it in at all if it wasn't for Lelouch's tinted red cheeks and lopsided smile. He looked genuinely happy to have that cat around, which made it that much harder to deny him of it.

"He is cute," Suzaku pointed out, a tender expression appearing on his face.

Lelouch beamed at the words, but quickly covered it up with a cough and the words," Yeah, I guess."

It was sometime after four and the bookstore was practically empty save the few who were sitting down on one of the few chairs to read.

Suzaku took in the peace and quiet with open arms; it was a welcome change considering that just an hour before the store was crawling with people.

Relishing the few minutes he had to himself he sat down on a nearby chair and picked up the book he was previously reading. It was about a boy confessing his love to the girl he cheated on. Supposedly he was getting with a guy on the side, his one true love from middle school, yet he couldn't forget about her and came back to win her over once again, but ends up turning him down for a girl she fell in love with while they were apart. It was cliche and horribly written, but for some reason he couldn't put it down.

"If you switch the role around, it kind of sounds like..."

"Kururugi, reading erotica novels again I see." Villetta Nu, his manager, snuck up behind him and grabbed the book from his grasp.

Suzaku looked horrified. "M-manager, please give that back!"

"Are you trying to tell me something, Kururugi?"

He turned his head to the side as if to hide his embarrassment. "No, Miss Villetta."

She covered her mouth and coughed. "Anyway, I'd like for you to meet our newest addition to the family," she rolled her eyes at the word," Rolo. He's going to be starting here today, so I'd like you to show him the ropes."

From behind her appeared a brown haired boy. He nodded shyly. "Please take care of me."

Suzaku tried to hide the obvious surprise on his face at seeing him of all people. It was almost as if he was in a drama TV show. The thought to repeatedly bang his head against the wall sounded promising.

"Now if you'll excuse me," Villetta said as she headed back to her office.

What exactly did she expect him to do? He was not prepared for this.

Did Rolo know what happened between him and Lelouch a couple weeks ago? By the look on his face, Suzaku guessed not. He stood there with a shy smile.

What the hell. He couldn't do this. This boy in front of him had everything he wished he had; just looking at him reminded him of what he had lost. Just knowing he was cuddling up to Lelouch made him sick.

"I think I'm going to be sick," he said under his breath.

"Are you alright?" Rolo asked. He looked concerned, brows knitted tightly together in worry.

He would not accept any pity from him.

"No, I'm fine." He ran a hand through messy brown hair. "Let's start with showing you the register."

Class was over for the day. Suzaku had yet to make any plans, and his mind drifted to Lelouch, a small smile taking place at just the thought of the boy. No matter how horrible his day was, he knew he could always look forward to seeing that one person.

"Suzaku," a female voice whispered from behind him as his vision suddenly became black. "Guess who?"

He reached his hands up and placed them on hers. "Euphy, c'mon." He gently removed them from his face and turned to face her. For the past few weeks she made it a point to see him almost every day after class. Though he didn't really mind, she was a nice girl after all, but today was different. His boyfriend had been on his mind all day, and all he wanted was to spend the day with him.

She was pouting, her frown dramatically bigger than normal. "But I had something really exciting to show you today."

Something to show him? "I don't remember you mentioning this before."

She huffed and put her hands on her hips, eyes shinning with excitement as she continued. "I talked to you about it last week. Did you really forget already?"

"Well..." He rubbed the back of his head nervously.

"Don't "well" me, Suzaku! You can't back out on your promise."

"I know, I know, but-"

"It's not like you had any plans today, right?" She looped her arm through his and glanced up at him, the smile never fading from her all-too innocent face. It was hard to say no to someone as outgoing like her. She was the type of person that swept you along in her own current.

"Not really, no." He couldn't tell her he planned to hangout with Lelouch, let alone mention they were dating. It was something they agreed to keep a secret knowing it would cause too many problems if let out into the open.

Her head dipped back as she winked at him playfully. "Pleeease?"

As Suzaku sat there contemplating, his mind to focused on the situation in front of him, he never noticed Lelouch staring at him from afar, eyes glazed over.

Lelouch knew what was happening before it even began. He knew how difficult it was to date a guy and how strenuous it was on the mind to keep it hidden. It was normal for people to want to show off their lover and openly show affection.

Being in a gay relationship wasn't easy, he knew that and excepted it, but Suzaku was just curious, he wasn't really in love with him.

It was only a matter of time.

Even if Suzaku didn't realize it yet, he was slowly being taken by Euphemia. The only person he couldn't win against.

It hurt, it hurt more than he imagined it would. He was prepared from the start to let him go when the time arrived, but maybe not as prepared as he thought.

His chest hurt, it hurt s bad. But he wouldn't let it show, no, he would endure and act like nothing was going on because it was all he could do.

Suzaku ruffled her hair and grinned. "Fine, you win."

He figured if he hung out with her today she'd leave him alone for a while, and it wasn't like he actually had plans with Lelouch. He felt a pang of sadness, but instantly forgot about it as Euphy pulled him along.

The cogs of fate slowly began to turn.