I'm so sorry for the terrible gaps between uploads, I've had a bit of a horrible, stressful year. It's so weird typing up this story because the original handwritten chapters (up to about Ch. 12 I think) were written about 2 years ago and I feel that my writing has changed so much since then. I'm not going to abandon this fic though but if the writing style seems to change in a few chapters, that's why; this is a project a long time in the completion- I still haven't written the complete story!

Hope you enjoy this chapter, please review if you have a moment.

Chapter 9- Talking

The nightmares had returned and Lily was a mess. It wasn't that her and James were purposefully avoiding each other, it was just that neither of them seemed to be able to get past what had happened. Lily had gone back to putting the Silencing Charm on her door; not because she didn't want James' company but because she thought she'd probably hurt him enough, kissing him suddenly and unexpectedly, and asking him to share her sleepless nights wouldn't help. And she hated it. She hated herself for destroying their relaxed companionship and she hated the silence between them. Loathe as she was to admit it, she missed him. Yes, Lily Evans missed James Potter. She missed his easy, endearing smile, she missed casually walking up behind him in the study and messing up his hair, then laughing when he couldn't get it to lie flat. She missed him waking her up and dragging her out of her own personal hell. She missed his eyes and she missed everything being simple.

James wasn't much better. He bitterly regretted opening his mouth and yet felt better for doing so. 'At least she knows what I really feel.' he kept telling himself. But he missed the days when he had counted Lily Evans as a close friend, when he been able to make her laugh and comfort her. He never thought he'd achieve even that much with Lily Evans, the same Lily Evans who had once thought him an arrogant, bullying twat. Now it was gone, he missed it so much it hurt.

No-one had failed to notice the rift between the Head Boy and Girl and from the smallest first year to Dumbledore himself, there was much speculation as to the cause. Marlene, Alice and the other three Marauders were worried about their respective friends and wiled away the time swapping theories. Neither Lily or James had told them what had happened but Remus and Alice, the most insightful, were not worried about their friends, unlike the others and remained smug about something until they finally shared their revelations.

"Isn't it obvious?"

"No, Moony, it isn't, you're the only one to have figured it out."

"No, I'm not, Alice has, haven't you?"

"Of course I have, now shut up and listen Black."

"Then do enlighten us." Marlene deadpanned.

"You know I was about to. Like Remus said, isn't it obvious? James has probably told Lily about his undying love for her or whatever, Lily has realised she likes him back, they probably kissed and now both feel too awkward to talk to each other but sooner or later they'll passionately go on to confess their blatantly obvious mutual attraction, get married and have beautiful children together."

There was a pause. Then-

"WHAT?!"

"Wait, what?"

"You lost me."

Alice and Remus exchanged exasperated glances, before Remus turned back to the others, sighed and began to explain it again. Slowly.

It had been two weeks. Two weeks of long silences and screaming in the night. Two weeks of averted eyes and depressed sighs. Sooner or later, they knew, something would crack because neither of them could go on like this.

The turning point came during their prefect duty one night. It was one of the few occasions where they could not avoid each other. They patrolling the corridor along the seventh floor, pacing up and down, when Lily snapped.

"James." She said suddenly. He whirled round to look at her- it was the first time since the kiss that she had voluntarily initiated conversation with him.

"Can we talk?" she continued nervously.

"Yeah, sure, erm, in here?" James gestured towards a door and they stepped through it awkwardly, to find themselves in a small, dark, enclosed space.

"Really Potter, a broom cupboard?" Lily smiled in spite of herself.

James grinned sheepishly. "Sorry. I hid in here once with the Marauders. I could have sworn it was a storeroom."

"I never even knew this was here." Lily reflected. "Even after all this time, Hogwarts is still full of surprises."

She collected herself.

"Anyway, I need to talk to you about…about that kiss." Her voice was quiet, her words tumbling over each other in her shyness. "It's just, I had no idea. No idea how strongly you felt about me and it was so confusing because at the end of last year, we weren't even friends and now I count you to be as close as Alice and Marlene. And then I kissed you and I didn't know why. And all this time I've been trying to figure out why I don't regret it and why…why…"

"Why what?"

"Why I liked it. Because, see, the thing is, all that stuff you said made me realise that, well, I feel the same." Her voice died to a whisper. "I love you James. And I've only just figured that out and I'm still figuring it out really but, yeah, I really do love you. How's that for irony?"

And James, trying and failing to fight the huge grin spreading over his face replied softly, "I love you too."

"I know."
This time when they kissed, it didn't take either of them by surprise.