Disclaimer: I do not own them, but desperately wish I did so I could miraculously bring Severus back to life.

A/N: Just a cheery little oneshot that invaded my thoughts last night. Happy Alan Rickman's Birthday to you all!

- Innocence and Innuendos -

Severus glanced up from the Daily Prophet at the sound of the library door opening and smirked upon seeing his wife. "Finally arisen, have you?"

Hermione snorted and ran a hand through her hair as she stepped into the room. "You could have woken me up if you wanted."

He shook his head as he folded up the half-read newspaper and set it on the end table. "You seemed exceptionally tired last night, so I thought a lie-in might be in order."

"You did, did you?" she grinned, sauntering up him. "And people tried to tell me you wouldn't make a considerate husband."

"Who said that?" he grumbled, eyes narrowed.

"Oh, just a few people," she shrugged, running a hand through his hair, "Harry… Ron… Arthur and Molly… all the Weasleys, really… Minerva… Pomona…the rest of the Hogwarts staff… Kingsley… random individuals I ran into on the street… Draco…"

Snape scowled as she casually continued listing names.

"And you," she finished, tugging gently on a handful of his hair, "in the middle of your bloody marriage proposal. I swear you made a better argument for not marrying you, than one for it."

"And yet," he remarked, "despite my warnings, you still made the irrational choice."

"I don't believe I've ever heard anyone describe their heart as being rational," the witch said softly, massaging the side of his face.

He stilled her hand with his own and eyed her speculatively. "One would assume that after six years your heart would have wizened up."

"Not if it doesn't have any regrets," she murmured. "You have to make a mistake in order to learn from it."

"How terribly poetic of you."

Hermione rolled her eyes. "Do you want me to fix you something for breakfast?"

"No, Molly," he sneered. "I was perfectly capable of finding nourishment on my own a few hours ago."

Hermione grimaced briefly and then perched on the sofa cushion beside him. She slowly ran her hand along his leg and leaned into his shoulder. "You don't really think of Mrs. Weasley when you see me, do you?"

The wizard swallowed slowly as he watched her hand creeping ever closer to the fly of his trousers. "Absolutely not."

"Five points to Slytherin," she whispered huskily in his ear. "And were you terribly lonely on your own this morning?"

He pursed his lips as he considered the question and then cleared his throat. "Hardly. I enjoyed the quiet."

"Oh, is that so?" she asked in surprise as she leaned back to look at him. When she spied the amused expression on his face, she narrowed her eyes and squeezed him through his trousers. "Tell me, then, Professor… would you prefer to sit alone in the quiet, or would you prefer a bit of company?"

He let out an involuntary groan as she began running her teeth over the sensitive skin of his neck. "I think I could be convinced to… gah… entertain a bit of… fuck… company."

"Brilliant," she purred against his throat.

"Oh, I intend it to be," he replied, grabbing her about the waist and pulling her onto his lap. A round of delicate giggles slipped out of her mouth as he began mimicking her earlier actions.

"Have I convinced you yet?" she gasped, flexing her hand around him.

"Indeed," he smirked, sliding one hand beneath the hem of her blouse.

The sudden sound of the Floo activating in the next room over, however, forced them both to look up in surprise.

"You had better answer that," he grumbled, patting her on the behind, "because I'm likely to kill whoever it is."

She snickered but climbed off of him and cautiously approached the sitting room. When she saw Astoria Malfoy's head bobbing in the grate, her eyes widened in curiosity.

"Hello, Hermione," the delicate witch greeted with a smile. "I was wondering if I might ask a favor of you and Severus today."

"What is it you need?"

"Well, since my birthday's on Monday, Draco thought we could celebrate it today," she explained. "And, well, would it at all be possible to leave Scorpius with you for a few hours?"

"Oh, certainly!" Hermione nodded cheerfully. "We would love to have him. When would you need us to take him?"

The other woman's face disappeared for a few seconds and then reappeared. "Well, Draco's just managed to catch him long enough to finish dressing him, so in five minutes we'll send him through?"

"Alright," she murmured in surprised apprehension. "I'll just go let Severus know then."

"Thank you!" Astoria beamed in relief.

The older witch nodded and sighed as she crossed the hall and pushed open the library door. When Severus stared at her questioningly, she gave him a guilty smile and rested her head against the door jamb. "That was Astoria. Draco's taking her out for her birthday, so Scorpius will be here in less than five minutes to spend the day with us."

"Fuck!" he snarled.

Hermione gave him a taunting smirk. "You did say you were convinced to entertain company."

"Your company," he corrected, snatching at the newspaper and snapping it open again, "I was not convinced to sacrifice my weekend off so that Draco can impress his wife long enough to get laid."

"Well, he is your godson," she commented, slipping back into the hallway before he had a chance to scowl at her. She returned to the sitting room to see Astoria's expectant face. "He's happy to have him."

"You're a horrible liar, Granger!" Draco shouted from somewhere out of sight.

The witch rolled her eyes and addressed the other woman. "How long would you like us to watch him?"

"How long can you stand him?" Astoria laughed quietly.

"However long you need us to," Hermione replied, silently hoping that her husband would not kill her for saying it.

Draco appeared in the fireplace then with a squirming child under his arm. "Well, in that case, you can keep him until bed time. Honestly, Uncle Severus is never going to let your bleeding Gryffindor heart answer the Floo again."

"What is to say that wasn't my plan?" she queried.

"The look of fear in your eyes," the blonde wizard responded without missing a beat. He then sent his son spinning through the connection. "Behave, Scorpius."

The small blonde boy smirked back at his father and nodded his head.

Hermione tousled her godson's silken hair. "I'm sure he'll be fine, won't you?"

"Yes, ma'am!" he boasted loudly, tilting his head backwards to look up at her.

"Well, look at that," she mumbled in mock surprise as she tickled his neck, "At five years old the manners kick in."

Scorpius giggled and squirmed to protect himself from her fingers.

"That's only because he's a Malfoy," Draco stated proudly, earning himself a glare from his wife. "I don't expect the Snape manners grow in quite so fast."

Hermione wrinkled her nose slightly as she glanced in the direction of the library. "Oh, I bet they did. He just simply chooses not to use them."

"I suppose that's true," the wizard shrugged. "He always did dust them off for special occasions."

"Can we eat yet?" Scorpius interrupted, pressing the back of his head into her stomach as he glanced up at her. "I'm hungry. I haven't had anything since breakfast, and that was FOREVER ago."

"You want lunch already?" she asked, raising one eyebrow. When he nodded, she sighed. "Alright, what do you want to eat then?"

The child shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno."

"Well what sounds good to you?"

"I dunno."

Hermione frowned slightly and scratched her head. "What do you normally have for lunch?"

"I dunno."

She cast a questioning glare toward the fireplace only to see Draco laughing at her.

"He's on that side of the Floo now," he sneered, "so that's your problem, isn't it, Granger?"

"Thanks heaps, Malfoy," she replied grumpily.

"No, thank you for being such a Gryffindor," the man smirked haughtily. "And give Uncle Severus a hearty smack on the arse for me."

"I'm still hungry," Scorpius moaned as the Floo disconnected and the green flames disappeared from the fireplace.

Hermione sighed, grabbing hold of the child's shoulders and steering him toward the hallway to the kitchen. "Do you like sandwiches?"

"I dunno."

"Well, we're having sandwiches for lunch so you had better like them."

"Okay!" he smiled, grabbing her hand and tugging her along. "Can you make them as fast as Binkie does?"

She shook her head when he glanced back at her expectantly.

"How come you can't?"

The witch snorted softly. "Because I'm not a house-elf."

"Oh," he responded, undeterred. "Can your elf make them then?"

"We don't have an elf," she replied as she pulled ham and cheese out from the refrigerator.

His eyes widened exponentially. "Why not?"

"Because we don't need one."

"But if you don't have one, then you need one!" the boy stammered. "Dad could give you one of ours. Or one of my grandfathers could. They both have lots. I can't even remember all of their names!"

Hermione gave another sigh as she began slicing the meat. "Honestly, Scorpius – your godfather and I don't need one. We can do everything ourselves."

Astonishment crossed the tiny wizard's face as he stared up at her. "You do?"

"We do," she nodded.

"Why can't Mum and Dad do everything, then?" he frowned, crossing his arms. "Are they broken?"

The brunette snorted loudly and covered her mouth with the back of her hand. Blinking away her amusement, she cleared her throat. "Perhaps it's best if you ask your parents that."

"Am I broken, too?" he asked, eyes wide with fear.

Hermione bit down on her lip to keep from laughing at his expression and then shook her head. "No, darling – you are not broken."

"So then I can do things?" he asked eagerly. "I can help you?"

"You certainly can," she smiled before instructing him to push a chair next to her. "You can take down three plates – one at a time, please – and set them on the counter for me."

When he finished that task, he jumped excitedly on the chair. "Now what?"

"Well," she glanced about in consideration and then snatched a bag of potato crisps from the cupboard. "Put a couple handfuls of these on each plate."

As the boy studiously began doing as instructed, she watched him with amusement, and when he completed his mission and eagerly demanded another one, she had to shake her head in disbelief.

"Why don't you go jump on your godfather and tell him it's time for lunch?" she stated cheerfully. "I believe he's in the library."

The boy's gaze grew bright with excitement as he nodded emphatically. "Okay!"

Scorpius jumped off of the chair and took off in a dead sprint down the short hallway to burst through the library door. Spotting his would-be victim sitting on the couch, hiding behind that morning's copy of the Daily Prophet, he gave a triumphant cry as he prepared to launch himself halfway across the room.

Sensing an immediate threat to his person, Severus peered over the top of his newspaper and declared a loud warning. "Stop right there!"

His eyes widened at the realization that his godson was choosing not to listen to him, and the former spy was forced to leap out of his seat a second before the small boy crashed into the sofa. With a scowl, he grabbed hold of a bony ankle and pulled the child off of the furniture to dangle upside down in mid-air as he began walking toward the kitchen. "There will be no jumping on anyone this time. Is that understood?"

Scorpius giggled as he swung his body from side to side and tried to reach the floor with his fingers.

With a grunt, Snape let go of the boy and then caught him again just before his head hit the floor. When the child squealed in delight and looked up at him to see if he would do it again, the elder wizard raised a pointed eyebrow. "No jumping, Scorpius."

"Why can't I jump on you, Uncle Sev'rus?" the upside-down boy asked as they moved into the kitchen. "Are you hurt?"

"Why don't you ask your godmother?" he suggested, tossing a glare in her direction. "She knows exactly why."

Hermione lifted her gaze from the sandwiches she was plating and blushed lightly upon meeting his gaze.

When his godfather deposited him head first in a dining chair, the boy quickly scrambled right side up and glanced curiously at the witch as she set a plate in front of him. "Aunt Herminee, did you hurt Uncle Sev'rus?"

Looking up to see the amused glint in her husband's eye, she swallowed hesitantly and cleared her throat. "It was an accident, Scorpius. I didn't mean to do anything untoward toward your godfather."

The blonde picked up his sandwich, took a large bite, and considered her statement as he chewed. Swallowing loudly, he looked at her again. "Did you say you're sorry?"

As he was in the process of sitting in the chair across from the boy, Severus glanced up at his wife and raised both eyebrows in mock innocence. "Come to think of it, Scorpius, she did nothing of the sort."

Hermione flashed him an irritated look as she appeared beside him with his lunch. "Fine. Severus, though I did consider the effect that my actions could have, I did not consider the fact that outside factors could have influenced them negatively, and for that, I apologize."

"Hmmm…" He stroked his chin as he narrowed his gaze mischievously. "No begging on your knees for forgiveness?"

She gave an indignant snort and set his plate down with more force than was necessary. "No."

The wizard shrugged as she began to step away. "Perhaps later then."

When he received merely a cold glare in reply, he chuckled quietly to himself and picked up one of the crisps beside his sandwich.

"When I get hurt," Scorpius mumbled after taking another bite, "Mum kisses it and makes it feel better."

Snape feigned a look of astonishment as his eyes found his still-glaring wife. "What an excellent suggestion, Scorpius."

The boy smiled as he picked up a crisp and played with it in his hand. "Does Aunt Herminee do that for you, Uncle Sev'rus?"

"Occasionally," he nodded, "though not half as often as I would – "

"Severus!" she hissed as she sat down in the chair between them.

Scorpius glanced up at his godfather in surprise. "Do you get hurt a lot?"

The wizard smirked as he glanced at his wife. "Indeed, I do. I've found it quite hazardous living with your godmother."

"Moving on!" she interrupted, shifting her entire focus to the blonde sitting beside her. "Scorpius, what is it you would like to do today?"

The boy chewed on a few bites' worth of food as he thought. After a minute of tense silence where Severus stared at his wife, and she pointedly ignored him, the child donned an expression of ingenuity. "Can we pitch a tent in the library?"

Snape snorted and mumbled beneath his breath. "I already have."

"Severus!" Hermione snarled, glaring at him in disbelief.

"Can I see it?" Scorpius asked eagerly.

"NO!" she shouted.

At the boy's disappointed expression, Snape cleared his throat. "It's no longer in the library."

"Where is it?"

Ignoring the look of censure from his wife, he continued speaking. "Well, in the past it was moved into the bedroom for a spell, but your godmother quickly set about taking it down."

"Why?"

Severus opened his mouth to answer, but was cut off.

"Because it was quite the eyesore," Hermione replied. "That's why."

"You seemed to enjoy it at the time," he muttered.

"Perhaps I was just pretending," she countered.

He smirked and eyed her critically as he popped another crisp in his mouth. "I rather doubt it."

Hermione folded her arms and raised her eyebrow in challenge. "Oh, and I rather doubt that you'd be able to tell the difference."

"Well, then can we make another tent?" Scorpius interrupted, glancing between them in mild confusion. "And then play a game?"

Kicking her husband beneath the table when he opened his mouth, the witch smiled at her godson and nodded. "Of course we can. After lunch, you and I can start moving furniture while Uncle Severus goes to take a shower upstairs."

"Why does he need a shower?" the boy queried, glancing at his godfather. "Is he dirty?"

"Unbelievably dirty," Hermione sighed, and then wrinkled her nose animatedly as she leaned forward. "He's starting to smell, I do believe."

"That's just because he's old," Scorpius stated matter-of-factly.

As Severus gave an affronted groan, the woman laughed brightly and clutched at her chest. "He is, isn't he?"

The young wizard nodded cheerily. "That's what Dad says!"

"Well, your father is a smart man –"

"With a smart mouth," Snape interrupted grumpily.

Hermione smiled and patted his hand sympathetically. "Finish your sandwich and then go take a shower, dear."

"'Cuz you're a dirty, old man!"

Severus glared at him and then at his wife, who tilted her head smugly.

"You can't argue with the boy, you know. He is remarkably perceptive."

X

X X X

X

After returning from the Malfoy residence that night, Severus let lose a sigh and waved his hand at the messy sitting room. Scorpius had been there only half a day and the entire house it seemed had been plunged into a total state of chaos. How one five-year-old could do that much damage was a mystery to him. He certainly had never exuded so much destructive energy as a child, nor had Draco, for that matter.

It must be the Greengrass genes influencing the boy, he surmised. Or the complete lack of fear of being punished by his father. If that were the case, he had a feeling that his own children would run just as rampant as Scorpius did. For as much as his students feared him, he sincerely doubted his ability to be terribly strict in his own house – especially if any of the brats were to have Hermione's eyes.

With a sigh, he peeked in at the library where the chairs, sofa, and tables had all been rearranged under a massive conglomeration of blankets, sheets, and tablecloths that spanned near the entirety of the room. Books and game pieces were strewn haphazardly about the floor, and he decided to just to close the door and deal with it in the morning.

As he moved to the staircase, he paused when he noticed that there was light coming from the kitchen. Hermione had appeared so tired after chasing the boy around all day that he had assumed she would be fast asleep by the time he finished depositing the little monster on his parents' doorstep.

With a curious expression on his face, he crept in that direction and felt his breath escape his body as he leaned against the door jamb. His wife stood barefoot in a lace-trimmed, white satin nightgown that ended mid-thigh. Her curls were swept up into messy knot that left her graceful neck and shoulders exposed as she furiously scrubbed at the pan she had used earlier to bake several batches of chocolate chip biscuits.

He smirked at the realization that the witch had purposely held off on letting their godson stuff his face full of caffeine-laced blobs of sugar until well after supper – just in time for him to rile the boy up on a broom ride home instead of merely sending him back through the Floo. Undoubtedly Draco would find himself up til the wee hours of the morning trying to bribe his son to sleep.

Then they would see just who felt old the next day.

As Hermione set the clean pan aside, she reached for the stack of dishes from supper and innocently scratched the back of her calf with her other foot. The action – in conjunction with his consideration of her periodic Slytherin tendencies and the look of absolute concentration on her face – caused a familiar tightening in his pants.

Letting out a soft groan, the wizard quietly stepped towards her, unbuttoning his cuffs and rolling up the sleeves of his white shirt. As he stood behind her, he slipped both hands around her waist and kissed her temple. "I thought you'd be asleep."

She shook her head against his chest as she rinsed a plate and set it aside to dry. "Couldn't sleep."

"You know you could finish these with magic."

"I could," she agreed, scrubbing another plate.

He snorted softly at her response and allowed his hands to move from her satin-covered waist to the warm, soapy water. He grabbed at the extra washcloth and began assisting her with the task. When he could not quite reach the drying rack due to the limited mobility of his arms pinned beneath hers, he slowly pressed her into the cabinet until he could reach.

Hermione gasped quietly and gripped the edge of the sink with one hand until he pulled his weight back. "I see you've managed to pitch another tent."

"Mmm…" he rumbled in agreement, capturing the hand still emerged in the water and placing a trail of kisses along her neck. "Are you going to help with this one, or will I be forced to take care of it myself?"

"Sev," she whispered, trying to pull away but finding she truly lacked the motivation to do so. His teeth grazed the lobe of her ear, drawing forth a moan and shudder from her body.

"You could kiss it and make it feel better," he smirked against the sensitive flesh at the base of her throat.

"Sev," she whimpered, before finding her resolve. "Severus, not right now."

The wizard sighed into her shoulder and turned his body to give her more space. "What has you upset?"

She pulled her hand out from the dish water and spun around to face him. Crossing her arms against her chest, she stared at him deliberately. "He's going to tell them all about lunch, and they're never going to let him stay here again."

"I fail to see the issue with that," he sneered, earning himself a swat on the chest.

"You've probably scarred poor Scorpius for life!" she cried.

Snape sighed and shook his head. "I've done no such thing."

"No?" she retorted. "You had a conversation with him about your sodding erection over sandwiches, for Merlin's sake!"

"Calm down for one moment, and realize that he's five," he replied. "He might be an intelligent five-year-old, but he's not nearly as perceptive of a situation as you appear to believe he is. He doesn't understand what we were discussing, and by the time he is old enough to do so, he will have long forgotten the conversation."

"No, he just thinks that I abuse you," she mumbled huffily.

Severus allowed himself a smirk as he wrapped his arms about her waist and squeezed her buttocks. He pulled her against him and lowered his mouth to kiss her throat once more. "Well, you do torture me ceaselessly."

As her husband continued his ministrations, the witch closed her eyes and sighed in frustration as she found her anger rapidly fading away. With a groan, she reached up and forcibly pulled his face away from her neck. "Would you listen to me?"

"I am listening," he countered. "I am capable of multi-tasking."

"I have news for you," she responded with a raised brow. "You're not that capable."

The man chuckled and slightly relaxed his hold on her. "Hermione, I am listening."

Hermione nodded and took in a quick breath before adopting a lecturing tone. "Then you need to realize that children repeat things that they hear, and they don't generally understand sarcasm. Scorpius may not know what you were talking about, but Draco and Astoria are definitely old enough to know."

"They'll get over it, I'm sure." He then shook his head in confusion. "Hermione, I don't understand why you are so upset over this. It was not –"

"Severus, he's your godson!" she exclaimed.

"As is his father," the wizard stated calmly. "And Draco turned out just fine…minus that smart mouth of his."

"Yeah, and it only took him twenty years," she grumbled.

He sighed and frowned. "Yes, well if you recall there were much more negative circumstances influencing him during his period of development."

The woman grimaced and rested her head against his chest. "I know, and I'm sorry for saying that. Draco is actually a decent human being because of you, and I trust him as a friend. I shouldn't have said that, but everything's all jumbled in my head right now."

"Hermione, you're beginning to concern me," he said quietly, moving one from her rear to smooth her hair. "What is going on with you?"

She breathed deeply and fiddled with the collar of his shirt as she looked up at him. "Just promise me that if they do let him over again, you'll behave like a responsible adult and not like one of the randy teenagers you used to blast out of the rosebushes."

Severus winced at the comparison and then nodded his head. "Fine, as long as you promise not to purposely arouse me three minutes before he gets here."

"Okay," she agreed, pausing for a moment before finding her voice again. "And promise me that you won't behave like the Severus Snape of fifteen years ago either. Promise me that you will control your temper and not snap at him, and that you will be flexible and forgiving if he does do something wrong. And if something is bothering you to the point that you think you might lose control, I want you to separate yourself and deal with it, even if it means you have to pull me aside and scream at me until you're too hoarse to whisper."

"Hermione –"

"Promise me!"

He swallowed hesitantly but nodded. "I promise."

"And when we have children of our own, promise me that you'll behave around them the same way you've just promised to behave with Scorpius."

He stared at her for a few seconds before giving another nod. "It will take much more dedication on my part to be constantly in control, but I promise to work on it in the meantime."

She eyed him critically and then nodded before collapsing against his chest. "Well, then you might want to start soon because you only have seven and a half months of meantime left."

"What?" he gasped, pulling away and glancing at her in shock. His gaze flickered between her stomach and her face as he held her gently by the shoulders. "You're pregnant?"

The woman nodded shakily. "I found out a few days ago. The Healer said that I was at five weeks."

"A few days ago?"

"Yes, I'm sorry," she whimpered. "I wanted to tell you right away, but I just didn't know how to, because…well…we weren't planning on it yet, and honestly I don't know how it happened because I'd been taking the monthly potion the entire time because we never discussed whether we were ready for children yet and I didn't want you to think that I made the decision without you, but I couldn't stand keeping it from you any longer because it felt like I was lying to you, which was why I thought I could try to put you in a good mood this morning in the library, but then Astoria Flooed and –"

Her panicked speech was suddenly cut off by a pair of lips descending upon hers. Severus continued exchanging small kisses with her until her breathing had become regulated. He then rested his forehead against hers and cupped her cheeks with both hands. "Hermione, I need you to stop talking in run-on sentences and listen to me now."

"Okay," she whispered.

"I'm not upset," he said forcefully. "Not with you, not with it being unplanned, not with anything. Aside from perhaps Astoria for interrupting your earlier method of delivery and for postponing this discovery for ten whole hours… and the apothecary for obviously selling us shoddy ingredients, but that's merely out of principle, not because of the results."

"I already transferred our account to the new apothecary here in Hogsmeade," she mentioned with a shy smile. "I told him why, and he's giving us half off on any prenatal supplies we need."

Severus snorted and kissed her forehead. "Have I ever told you how fucking perfect you are?"

"You're really not upset?" Hermione repeated in disbelief.

"No," he smiled honestly, pressing his lips to hers once more. His hands left her face, travelled down her sides, and met each other beneath the swell of her buttocks. He could taste the salt of her tears as he lifted her, and she wrapped her legs about his waist. "Are you upset?"

"No," she shook her head, slipping her hands beneath his ears. "I'm just happy…and relieved, and nervous, and absolutely terrified. But not upset."

Snape chuckled as he tightened his hold on her. "I would say that it was impossible to feel that many things at once, but at the present moment, I feel entirely the same way."

His wife grinned and then fixed him with a heated gaze as she began nipping at his neck. "Severus, what would you have done if Astoria hadn't interrupted me?"

"Witch, I would have yet to allow you out of bed," he purred silkily in her ear.

Her eyelids fluttered shut as his voice washed over her and she clenched her thighs tightly around his hips. "You know what else I'm feeling?"

"Hmm?"

"I have a sudden urge to go camping," she murmured suggestively.

Severus smirked as he began carrying her towards the staircase. "Well, lucky for you I happen to have a tent pitched and ready for you."

The witch giggled against his lips. "Lucky for me, indeed."

"And before you allow yourself to think that you're off the hook just because you shed a few tears and are carrying my child, think again," he sneered. "Because if Draco is going to forbid us from entertaining his son any longer, it'll be because you've managed to turn him into a ruddy house-elf."

Hermione bit her lip apprehensively and met his gaze. "What is to say that wasn't my plan all along?"

He raised an eyebrow at her. "The look of absolute fear in your eyes."

"You don't really think he'll keep Scorpius from us, do you?" she whispered.

Snape laughed as he stepped off of the staircase. "Not after he's discovered how perfectly willing my bleeding-heart witch is to provide free babysitting."

"Well, we can't let him take advantage of that, can we?"

"Absolutely not."

The woman pressed herself tighter to him as they crossed the threshold into their bedroom. "You know…Scorpius was telling me all about how his father happened to accidentally misplace his toy broomstick."

"How unfortunate," he muttered as he gently laid her down on the bed. "We'll just have to find him a new one for Christmas next month."

She nodded against the pillow and then propped her head up with her hand as she watched him quickly strip out of his clothes. "I bet I could still get George to give me the family discount."

Severus snorted as he climbed onto the bed. He placed a gentle kiss upon her satin-covered belly before crawling atop her and kissing her forehead. "Draco has made a serious miscalculation in his evaluation of you that I find undeniably… arousing."

"Oh?" she whispered, wrapping her arms about his neck. "And what is that?"

"Your heart is well and truly Gryffindor," he smirked, placing a quick kiss to her lips, "but your head is undoubtedly Slytherin."