Skipping Transfiguration

As the class filed in Professor McGonagall ticked their names off the register in front of her. However, as three rather rowdy boys entered the room, the teacher noticed that one was missing from the usual four. After the class was seated, McGonagall looked down the register and noticed that another student was also absent.

She turned to the class as a whole and asked, "Has anybody seen Mr Black or Miss Spencer?"

"I haven't seen Sirius since breakfast Professor" replied James Potter from the back of the class with the look of someone repressing a smile.

"Miss Bones, have you seen Jasmine Spencer today?" The teacher asked a girl on the front row with long, blonde, curly hair.

"I haven't seen her Professor McGonagall." The girl replied sweetly.

At that moment the girl to the left Amelia Bones began to giggle which was immediately taken up by the Ravenclaw on her other side.

"What is it girls?" McGonagall asked the giggling girls.

"Oh don't you know Professor? Sirius and Jasmine are going out," answered Maria Lawrence, the Ravenclaw. "They were snogging this morning; I saw them in the entrance hall." At this point Amelia Bones elbowed her friend, but the pair continued to giggle.

"Hmm," the Professor said thoughtfully. "Right, you are all to continue with your work from last lesson."

McGonagall left the room and turned straight into Nearly Headless Nick, the Gryffindor ghost. "Ah, Nick. Could you please tell me if there are any students frequenting the Gryffindor dormitories at this moment in time?"

"All of the dormitories are as quiet as my grave at this moment, Professor McGonagall." The ghost replied politely.

"Thank you, oh and could you kindly monitor my fourth years please, there is a situation I need to deal with at present."

"Why certainly Professor." Nick answered as he drifted through the door of the classroom.

Sirius Black rolled over gently onto his side facing Jasmine Spencer and leaving one arm softly resting behind her neck. Still breathing heavily and sweating slightly, he kissed her lightly on the lips as she draped her arms over Sirius' already well-built and completely naked frame.

"Jas?" Sirius whispered before kissing her gently again and cupping his free arm on the top of her neck.

"I love you." Was the whispered reply as Jasmine returned his kiss as Sirius' hand slowly moved from her neck, down her body before resting on her hip. "The last ten minutes certainly beats Transfiguration. I don't think I've ever had a better ten minutes."

"I know the feeling Jas, you're the best company for this."

"You were amazing." Jasmine breathed as she stared into his intense grey eyes that fell adoringly over her face and upper body.

"You weren't too bad yourself." Sirius breathed as he kissed her yet again.

At that moment the dormitory door smashed open as a very angry looking Professor McGonagall stood commandingly in the doorway.

The two fell apart instantly, however as they were rather near the edge of the grand four poster bed, this action caused Sirius to fall onto the floor. Thankfully he had presence of mind enough to grab a corner of the covers that were strewn at the end of the bed, in order to hastily cover himself up as Jasmine did the same.

"What do you two think you are doing?!" fumed Professor McGonagall.

"Er, isn't it fairly obvious?" Sirius replied glancing at Jasmine before looking back at an irate McGonagall with a small smile on his face.

"GET DRESSED NOW!" roared the teacher, her usual demeanour lost in her anger.

"Oh come on McGonagall," protested Sirius from the floor as Jasmine scrambled for her underwear. "You're ruining a moment."

"HOW DARE YOU SKIP LESSONS TO ENGAGE IN FRIVOLOUS ACTIVITIES? THESE THINGS SHOULD NOT EVEN BE HAPPENING IN THIS SCHOOL!"

"Merlin woman you're starting to sound like my mother." Jasmine was now pulling on her skirt, though Sirius was still sat on the floor with just the covers draped his lower half.

"Just get to my lesson. NOW!" McGonagall huffed.

"Hang about, I've not even got my pants on yet." Sirius said as he dived for his boxer shorts, though Jasmine was doing up her blouse.

"I don't care, go now." The teacher said, standing aside to allow the two teenagers to leave the room, however as Sirius was still only in his underwear, she waved her wand to make his clothing levitate and hit him in the head.

"For Merlin's sake woman, do they have to hit me?" Sirius' temper was beginning to slip.

"Out!" Professor McGonagall said now trying to calm herself down, though she was obviously still fuming.

As Jasmine pulled on her last shoe she seized her school tie and cloak and hurried past the irate professor. Sirius grabbed his trousers from the hovering pile that continued to bang into the back of his head before following his girlfriend out of the room whilst clumsily trying to start to dress himself.

"What I would like to know is how you thought you would get away with this?" Professor McGonagall asked as Sirius stumbled in the attempt of getting his second foot into his trousers as they neared the barrels that marked the exit of the Hufflepuff common room.

"It was worth it, well I thought so anyway." Sirius said as one of his shoes kicked him rather hard and Jasmine flushed brightly. "And could you call these things off?" Sirius sounded rather irritable as he fumbled to do his trousers up whilst clambering up the stairs from the basement.

Sirius began hopping as he pulled on his socks as they climbed the last staircase before reaching the second floor. As they were walking along the second floor corridor Professor McGonagall swept past them as Sirius snatched at his shirt whilst his shoes kicked him even harder.

McGonagall seized open the door and stood aside. "In." She said as the now fully dressed Jasmine hurried past her looking sheepish yet slightly proud.

Sirius followed but paused as he stood level with McGonagall. He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head slightly with a small smile creeping into his features. In reply, Professor McGonagall gave him her sternest look and ushered him into the room and told him to sit on the desk in front of her own whilst telling Jasmine to sit on the other side of the room.

As Sirius entered the room, beginning to button up his shirt, James burst into laughter while many other boys looked on with a small smile on their faces, meanwhile many of the girls looked vaguely jealous.

After around ten minutes of the lesson, Sirius began to scrawl on a torn off piece of parchment. When he had finished he glanced around the room and found Professor McGonagall with her back to him at the rear of the classroom. He pointed his wand at the balled up piece of parchment, levitated it and sent it flying across the classroom to Jasmine.

She caught it gently, checked to see where McGonagall was, and opened it under the desk. It read: 'i have charms next. spend it with me? x'. She turned to where Sirius was sitting and gave him a wide smile and a small nod. At that moment, the Transfiguration teacher turned and saw that neither of the two were doing the assigned work and began to reprimand them.

At the end of the lesson, when the class began to leave, Professor McGonagall called Sirius and Jasmine to her desk. As the class filed past, many of the boys clapped Sirius on the back while the girls stopped beside Jasmine for a quick giggled conversation.

"All of you out, now!" McGonagall said, her stern voice piercing through the crowd.

"Now you two," The teacher began threateningly as the last of the students left the room. "You should know that I will be informing Professor Dumbledore of the events of this morning as well as owling both your parents -"

"Great, another howler." Sirius muttered sarcastically.

"Yes well at least this time you know you will have deserved it. Now as I was saying, your punishment will not end there. You will both receive detention every night for the following month. No, you have no right to complain Miss Spencer." As Jasmine had let out a small moan of protest.

"Now, I suggest the pair of you get out of my sight and go to your next lesson. If I here of any more… engagements, then you can both expect to be suspended. You will report to your first detention this evening with your head of house at seven-thirty. Now go."

As the couple left the room and the door closed behind them they turned to look at each other.

"It was worth it though." Sirius said with a smile. "But I guess Charms is out?"

"Yeah, I suppose so. Won't your folks kill you, I mean you get at least a howler a week as it is."

"Who cares about them, they'll just say how ashamed they are, that I'm doing them a disservice, blah blah blah. Anyway, what about your parents?"

"Oh well, I think they'll be okay, not like your parents anyway. They'll be really disappointed but I imagine they'll think I'm being punished enough."

"Ah, fair enough, guess I should get to Charms."

"Yeah, I should get to Care of Magical Creatures. Bye." And they parted with a kiss as Jasmine went down the stairs and Sirius up them.

After lunch, Sirius and his friends returned to the Gryffindor common room to see a new notice had arrived on the notice board. As they joined the throng of people gathered around it they read: 'All Students are to be in the Great Hall at seven o'clock tonight.'

"What do you think that's all about?" Remus asked James as they walked towards their dormitory to pick up their books for their afternoon lessons.

"I dunno, sounds a bit ominous though doesn't it?"

At seven o'clock that night, all of the students had gathered in the Great Hall, some still eating their dinner, as the headmaster stood from his chair and cleared his throat.

"Now, it has come to my attention that some students are abusing the girls dormitories." Dumbledore announced to the school. "Therefore, I have asked certain Professors to cast charms on the aforesaid dormitories in order to protect the innocence of our students. This will mean that boys will no longer be able to gain access to the girls dormitories."

At this there was an outbreak of angry murmuring from both the boys and the girls. However, no student complained louder than Sirius, notorious school player. His exclamation was so loud that even people from other house tables turned to see who it was. Even Professor Dumbledore allowed himself a small smile in Sirius' direction.

As the indignation subsided, the headmaster dismissed the students and many began the journey back to their dormitories. Sirius however remained in his seat with his head in his hands. As the other students passed him, some clapped him on the back in condolence.

"It's okay, mate. There's not just the girls' dormitories in this castle you know. Besides, they never said anything about the boys' dormitories." James said to his friend sat opposite.

Sirius looked up with his characteristic smile on his face, "yeah and then there's the broom cupboards, oh and empty classrooms, not to mention the Room of Requirement." Sirius was beginning to lighten up. "Damn, I'm late for McGonagall's detention; she's going to kill me."

Upon Sirius' arrival, McGonagall gave him an angry look. "What time do you call this? You should know by now that I do not stand for tardiness. Sit."

Sirius sank into his usual detention chair and shot a questioning look at his Transfiguration teacher.

"Seeing as lines seem to have had no effect on you over the last three years I think we'll try something a little different this month. You will be copying out the school rules, including the list of Filch's forbidden objects, maybe then you will realise what you have been doing wrong since before you even stepped through the Great Oak Doors. Begin."

Sirius slowly began to write, already feeling the boredom cloud his mind. 1. No student is to physically harm another student. 2. No student is to use curses and … Sirius was gradually beginning to drift into a doze.

When Sirius had reached: 19. No students are to be out of their dormitories after 23:00, Professor McGonagall called him to stop and asked him to repeat the last one he had written without looking at it.

"Er, number eighteen, no wait nineteen. Er, something about students?" Sirius answered hesitantly, truth-be-told Sirius hadn't really been paying attention to what he had been copying.

"If you are not careful Mr Black, you may find yourself in detention until Easter. Now, if I were you, I would start paying more attention to what you are doing, you may learn something." Professor McGonagall said, her voice still echoing her earlier anger, "it is nine o'clock, you may leave. I expect to see you back here tomorrow at the earlier time of six thirty. And if you ever think of skipping one of my lessons again, for whatever reason – be it illness or otherwise - expect to find the remainder of your school career a living nightmare." McGonagall finished warningly.

The following morning at breakfast, the expected howler arrived. However, now that Sirius had been at Hogwarts for just over three years and had received, on average, one howler per week, the school were used to the shrieking from the Gryffindor table. Furthermore, Sirius and his friends had begun to invent games with the howlers as they were so frequent; they would see who could throw a piece of toast closest to it (it always avoided anything thrown at it) or see what effect various hexes have upon it (none made the shrieking any better). Therefore, when this morning's howler arrived, nobody bat an eyelid.

By the time the howler reached: "DO YOU WISH TO STAIN OUR FAMILY NAME FURTHER? I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU… YOU… CONSORTED WITH A MUDBLOOD" Sirius had had enough.

He pointed his wand at it and said "Incendio." Sirius knew that this spell would not stop the howler, he cast it for self-gratification. Between the various shrieks of Sirius' mother were now shrieks of pain as if the letter itself could feel the pain of the fire.

James smirked and muttered "consorted?"

Sirius kept his wand pointed at the howler, determined to make his mother's words scream in pain. However, as he did this he lent over the table to James who was sat opposite and said, "you know, I think it's about time we returned to the library over these things."

"Why though, last time we went we couldn't find a single thing to shut them up." James replied staring at the burning letter as it exploded through the combination of the fire and its own combustion charm.

"No, not for that. I want to see how you make them, I think it's about time I started sending them back." Sirius' characteristic grin returned to his face as he looked at James, several ideas forming in his mind. However, at that moment Jasmine called Sirius from the Hufflepuff table and Sirius ushered for her to come over.

"Hey, I've had an idea. Meet me at the start of lunch on the seventh floor, opposite that picture of Barnabus the Barmy, you know the guy who's always trying to teach trolls to do ballet." Sirius said to Jasmine, careful to make sure that he was facing away from the teacher's table and that he could not be heard by any of them.

"Okay, why though?" Jasmine replied looking a little suspicious.

"Oh, just thinking about continuing our pursuits from yesterday, if you're interested of course?"

In answer Jasmine beamed at him and blushed slightly, before walking off with a renewed glow.

A/N – What did you think? A review would be really nice as I haven't tried doing anything even remotely humorous before.