Dlbn: Hey there everyone! Time for another one shot from yours truly!
Nbld: More of a ramble/song fic but okay, sis…
Dlbn: Oh shut up, you!
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Loveless or any related characters. They all belong to Yun Kouga. I do not own the song "Gravity" either. It belongs to Vienna Teng.
Dedication: To my boyfriend. No matter how far apart we are, we're always bound by gravity.
000
Hey love. Is that the name you're meant to have for me to call?
Ritsuka sighed as he flipped through a photo album while he sat in class. Shinonome-sensei didn't seem to notice what he was doing, and she probably wouldn't care anyway because he had been so depressed lately that she'd let him do pretty much anything that wasn't violent. The days since Soubi left seemed to all blend together into one big mess of a day. Looking through the photo album helped. There were a few pictures of Ritsuka and his older brother Seimei, who he discovered was not deceased like his family thought, and some were of Ritsuka with his mother. Maybe one of them had his father in it, but it was a family portrait. (The family rumor was that his father, Aidien, was going to leave his mother, Misaki, until he found out she was pregnant with Ritsuka. Instead, his father had gotten heavily into work after he was born and started picking up scores of girlfriends. Ritsuka knew that his mother knew and partially blamed her psychosis on that face.) There were more photos of himself with his friends Yuiko, Yayoi, and the Sagan brothers then photos with the family. However, the album was mostly of Soubi Agatsuma; a twenty-two year old college student and fighter who had pledged his life to protecting and serving Ritsuka like his own personal bodyguard. But ever since Seimei came back and took Soubi with him, Ritsuka was having a hard time believing anything the elder blonde had said to him; including his declarations of love.
Look love. They've given up believing. They've turned aside our stories of the gentle fall…
No matter how many times Seimei tried to drill it into his head, and how many times Soubi had had to pretend that the words of the eldest of the Aoyagi brothers were sinking in, Soubi could never bring himself to believe that Ritsuka was a lie. He couldn't bring himself to believe that like Ritsu, Ritsuka was only using him to boost his own ego and would then toss him aside for Seimei to pick up the pieces again. Seimei had ordered him to love Ritsuka and to go him, but now he was ordering him to despise Ritsuka and steer clear of him. Seimei's word was law. He was Soubi's god. But that didn't stop Soubi from keeping his love for Ritsuka fresh and alive inside of himself.
But don't you believe them. Don't you drink their poison too.
When he would go home and his mother would scream and hit him, throw things at him, or chase him up to his room, Ritsuka would block out his mother and her harsh words.
"You're not Ritsuka! Bring Ritsuka back to me!" She would cry as she threw a slipper, almost hitting him. "Give me back my Ritsuka! You're not him!"
But Ritsuka would just run up the stairs to his bedroom at the end of the hall, and slide inside just in time to lock the door behind him before his mother would pound harshly on the door and scream some more.
"Get out of his room! You don't belong in there! You don't belong in this house! Give back my real Ritsuka!"
Ritsuka clasped his hands tight over his human ears as his neko ears flattened against his head to block out his mother's words. His own little mantra would play on in his head and block her out; "She's wrong. I'm Ritsuka. I'm just different." He would think to himself as he grit his teeth. "I am Ritsuka Aoyagi. I'm twelve years old, almost thirteen, and I am me! No one else! I'm Ritsuka! This isn't mom talking! This isn't my mother! I'm Ritsuka!"
These are the scars that words have carved on me
As the days went on, Soubi found himself doubting the sanity of both Seimei and his true fighter; a lithe, feminine, teen male named Nisei. Seimei would make a mess and order both fighters to clean it up so it wouldn't be such an eyesore, or Nisei would say something that made Seimei snap and throw his switch blade at him; only for Nisei to giggle like a madman as a mischievous glint came to his eyes. Once and a while, Seimei would force Nisei and Soubi to fight each other; to see who needed more punishment and training and who was good enough for the day. Soubi hated the days he would lose and be punished. But what he hated more was when Nisei would lose and be punished, and he'd be force to listen to his tortured screams as Seimei used his Power of Suggestion spell to force Nisei to do unspeakable things to himself. The black haired teen, like Soubi, would often bleed from his wounds inflicted by both Soubi's magic and Seimei's knife. Soubi wouldn't say a word to Nisei as he let the blood crust over on his wounds instead of cleaning them like Soubi did. As Soubi ran peroxide over the bleeding scar on his neck, he couldn't help but remember that his name only bled when he went against Seimei. And thus, thoughts of Ritsuka would float through his head and bring a smile to his face.
Hey, love. That's the name we've long held back from the core of truth.
Ritsuka would sit on his therapist's couch and stare blankly down at his hands. No matter how hard the Doctor prodded, Ritsuka couldn't tell her what was wrong. she would think he was insane if he told her that his brother had murdered someone in order to fake his death, ordered his fighter to go find and protect Ritsuka, only to come back and steal away said fighter and leave him alone and vulnerable. She would think he was more insane then he was already convinced he was. She wouldn't prod him about the singular issue and instead focused on things like weekend plans and how the last weekend was. Maybe one day he could tell her. Maybe one day when he had a name to put to all his feelings, instead of just confused. How he felt for Soubi couldn't be summed up in a single word. He was hurt, upset, angered, shocked, helpless, hopeless, and betrayed. But still he felt compassionate, understanding, caring, hopeful, willing, waiting, and praying for the day Soubi would come back to him. Was this what love was about?
So don't turn away now. I am turning in revolution.
He didn't understand why it was, but after a few months, whenever Seimei instructed Soubi to leave his brother alone and forget about the so-called love the child couldn't possess, Soubi found himself gritting his teeth and clenching his fist. How he'd love to punch those words right out of Seimei's mouth. They weren't true, and there was no reason to utter them. But due to his training, he would hold back and say nothing, let alone strike out at his master. That wasn't how it was supposed to be. So while he looked composed on the outside, Soubi would feel ready to explode inside. Which was why it didn't surprise him the day he hit Seimei and his sacrifice was too stunned to fight back.
These are the scars that silence carved on me.
Another day, another injury to cover up. Ritsuka would sigh as he bandaged the bleeding cut on his left cheek from when his mother had thrown a plate at the wall near his head and it had shattered and cut him. There was no part of Ritsuka's body (save for a certain area he hoped would always remain untouched by human hands) that hadn't been injured at one point in time. The worst of the injuries was found on his back; a two-inch deep gash that ran about three inches across from where his mother had managed to catch and slice him with a knife. The scar was healing over in a scab, and Ritsuka often found himself picking at it to make it expand and bleed more. And the more it expanded, the bigger the scar became. It reminded him of the scar in his heart; always growing and expanding no matter how many times it tried to seal itself shut for good.
This the same place. No. Not the same place. This is the same place.
Having left Seimei's hideout to get away before the sacrifice exploded at him about being decked across the cheek (even Nisei had slipped away and out into hiding to avoid the other teen's wrath), Soubi found his feet bringing him somewhere he never thought he'd go again. It was a little clearing in the forest surrounding a Tokyo park. There was one picnic table sitting there; a lone grey bench that the paint was peeling off of. Soubi sat down on the left side and peered out and down the path that led to the main area of the park. There was no way he would come. No way would he ever go to this spot again. Too many nostalgic memories. Soubi would sigh and hang his head low to obscure his vision with his hair. He fought back tears in case someone happened by and was curious as to why an adult male without ears was sitting at a picnic bench in the middle of a clearing in the middle of the woods, crying like the twelve year old male he both missed and loved so dearly.
Love: No: Not the same place we've been before
Ritsuka didn't know why, but one fall day after school let out, he found himself lying to his friends and going off to who knows where to do who knew what. Once he got to what he believed was his destination, he gulped. The grey picnic table he had shared his first kiss with Soubi at wasn't unoccupied like he had hoped. Ritsuka dropped his messenger bag on the ground with a plop noise and the sound of crunching leaves. The noise startled the blonde man at the picnic table, and he looked up and over in surprise. Tears were clouding Ritsuka's vision. Could this really be true? Was this a dream? Why was he led here on this date at this time specifically? Was the heart of the man at the table calling out to his?
"S-Soubi…?" Ritsuka wondered meekly.
The blonde male stood quickly. "Ritsuka…"
They both stood there; wind ruffling their hair and coats with fur lining. Neither spoke again for a few minutes, but Ritsuka feet his feet being pulled towards Soubi. And before he knew it, he was jumping up into the fighter's strong arms and being spun around like the child he was. Soubi held him tight as they pressed their foreheads together and just stood there in comfortable silence as the wind blew around them; scattering leaves and butterflies along the way.
Hey, Love. I am a constant satellite of your blazing sun.
Soubi couldn't believe who he was holding in his arms. This had to have been a dream…he must've not been quick enough to escape Seimei, and had been knocked out cold by the Beloved sacrifice. It had to have been a dream or hallucination caused by the deepest parts of his soul being exposed due to a violent take down from a cold and calculating sacrifice, and/or his equally insane true fighter. He set the young boy down on his feet and got on his knees so they were finally at eye level. He saw tears brimming on the bottoms of Ritsuka's wide, plum eyes. Despite the tears that were threatening to fall, there was a wide grin on Ritsuka's face; as though he'd just been told he could eat an entire chocolate cake by himself.
"You…you're here…you're real?" Ritsuka reached out to cup Soubi's cheek in one hand.
Soubi grabbed the hand and pressed it to his face. "It's me…Ritsuka, it's me…"
And he knew that it wasn't a hallucination. Because no matter how vivid a hallucination was, it could never imitate the feeling of Ritsuka in his arms, and the brightness hidden deep within the plum pools known as Ritsuka's eyes.
My love, I obey your law of gravity.
The same thing that had brought Ritsuka to this one clearing and bench must have been the same one that made Soubi want to come to the same clearing. Ritsuka felt a tugging at his heart and saw the thin, web-like thread that connected him to his fighter twitch as though a fly was caught in it. He looked at Soubi's chest to see the wire there doing the same. Ritsuka broke into a grin and hugged Soubi tight around the neck as tears fell onto the blonde's shoulder. Soubi whispered sweet nothings in his ear as Ritsuka let all the pain, anger, hurt, sorrow, and rejection flow from his eyes. This was real. Soubi was here in Tokyo, without Seimei or that psycho, Nisei. They were finally together again.
This is the fate you've carved on me. The law of gravity.
But as all good things must do, their happy reunion had to come to an end. Ritsuka had to be home before curfew, and Soubi had to get back before his punishment got too harsh to bear. (He knew that Seimei was beyond pissed off without even being near his sacrifice, and the longer he stayed away, the worse it would get.) Before they could completely say their goodbyes, Ritsuka pulled a knife from his pants' pocket. He pulled Soubi to the table, oblivious of how Soubi shied away from the blade. Ritsuka stabbed the end of the blade into the top of the table. He began, slowly but steadily, carving into the top of the picnic bench. Soubi watched the knife form little dents in the table to from what the younger Aoyagi brother was trying to create. When Ritsuka was done, he pulled the blade away and smiled. Soubi looked at what this sweet young sacrifice had made. There on top of the bench was a heart with an arrow going through it. Inside the heart were the words "A.R. + A.S. September 06, 2013". Underneath the heart, in choppy script, was the saying 'The pull of gravity will bring us back together'.
And for the first time in months, Soubi smiled.
This is the fate you've carved on me…
With nothing else to do but bid their farewells and promise to meet up once again the next month, Soubi went back to Seimei's hideout and Ritsuka went back to the Aoyagi residence. And as Seimei dished out his punishment (in the form of a spell-controlled Nisei with a knife and temper to boot), and Misaki Aoyagi threw another shoe and a plate (and very harsh words) at her youngest son; their bond twitched, and both Soubi and Ritsuka fought the gravity weighing heavy on them, and smiled.
On me.