*** Chapter 4 ! Thanks to those who reviewed. I appreciate a lot. A/N: This story probably won't be more than 6 chapters long, seven tops. It wasn't meant to be. Maybe another one will be though ;D 3 ***

Cullen watched as the sun was starting to set. It was something he enjoyed every day to watch. It was getting late, and Hawke was in no rush to leave. "Are you finished yet?"

She examined her foot. "I suppose so. Alright, continue."

"The Blight consumed Denerim and southern regions of Ferelden. The mages were called upon to help the Grey Warden's. Not a single one perished in the onslaught. When the Archdemon was slain, news arrived of the victory. Amell had saved us. I could just imagine her being nervous from all the attention. When the mages returned from the fight, they were happy, excited, anything you can think of. She had used her boon to grant mages more freedom; how they put it. Templars and mages worked together to rebuild the tower, slowly, but surely."

"Get to it." Hawke motioned for him to get to the point.

"The Knight-Commander was becoming weary of me guarding the mages. So he had me guarding the entrance, the harrowing chamber, anything that didn't involve mages. One day, Amell and Alistair-" Hawke cut him off.

"Who is he?" She questioned.

"Stop it!" He was growing tired of her stopping him. "They showed up looking for the First Enchanter. More of, Amell wanted to speak with the First Enchanter…"

"Wait here, I'll go speak to him, and then we can go, okay?" Solona smiled and left, leaving Alistair at the Entrance with a masked Templar.

He leaned against the wall and turned to the Templar. "The tower seems to be recovering from the last time I saw it." The templar stayed quiet. "Look, I won't bite, you can speak to me. I'm going to be a here a while, best to know one another."

The Templar hesitated and removed his helmet. "Alistair, nice to see you again."

"Cullen, last time I saw you, you were less helmety." Alistair laughed and a look of confusion covered Cullen's face.

"That terrible sense of humor hasn't changed I see." Cullen placed his helmet under his arm.

"What can I say? It's my trademark." He inhaled deeply. "How are you doing…since, you know?"

"I'm fine. Why are you here?" Cullen didn't want to speak about himself. He felt the need to speak about Solona.

He shrugged. "Solona had business to conduct before she heads to Amaranthine. I'm here in case she needs protection. I'd follow her anywhere you know."

"Amaranthine, what is there?" Cullen was curious.

"Poke, poke, poke. Alright, she's being issued as the Warden-Commander temporarily. Which I despise. That means she has to spend Maker knows how long away from me. I'm not allowed to come, something about too much blah blah and this and that." Alistair didn't want to recite what he was told.

"Why does it matter if she is away from you?" Alistair sighed at that question.

"I was hoping you wouldn't ask…She and I are…together." Alistair spoke quietly.

Cullen swallowed hard and put his helmet back on. He felt tears building up. He was not known to cry, but he couldn't believe it…

"There you are! Ready to go, Alistair?" Solona was cheery. Cullen watched her smile at him. It wasn't the same smile she would give him, it was…less. "Irving said I have nothing to worry about."

Her blue eyes were shining, but never like they used to, they were dimmer. He gulped and she looked straight at him. "Alistair, I had hoped to see Cullen. I wanted to apologize to him. I couldn't find him, so I told Gregoir I'd be writing him a letter for Cullen." Alistair nodded. "Okay, let's go!" Solona stared at Cullen as she walked by, somehow she knew it was him.

"That had to be heart breaking." Hawke watched as he shut his eyes and sank down in his chair. "I'm sorry."

"It was my own fault, Hawke. I don't need sympathy, but I appreciate it." He hated himself sometimes for all he did.

"So she wrote you?" She wanted to move on from him feeling sad.

"She did. But I was already gone. Gregoir had sent me here, to Kirkwall. Rumors spread I snapped and killed 3 apprentices. I didn't, mind you. I just caught them out after curfew. So he sent me here to serve under Meredith. She saw my views the same as hers and now I'm Knight-Captain."

"I thought when you came to Kirkwall you weren't going to be a Templar anymore?" Hawke sympathetically smiled.

He returned it. "Plans change, apparently. But I received a stack of letters one day. The others teased it was from a secret lover, some even said my mother misses me too much. Meredith claimed to have not read them, but I don't believe her for a second on that. Her voice when she said I received letters from the Tower in Ferelden was so harsh and cold. That and the envelopes were open."

Hawke stretched out and yawned. "She wrote you a lot then?"

He nodded. "Every day. She told me of her adventures gathering an army, how she hated Amranthine and being the Warden-Commander. She even told me about Alistair." He shook his head. "She mentioned in one letter how she regretted throwing the locket down. She said she wished our lives turned out differently. I doubt Alistair saw these letters though."

"You're telling me how she often wrote you, but did you reply?" He shook his head. "Why?"

"I didn't know what to say…I was afraid. On her last letter, which was a couple months ago actually, she said if I didn't reply to this letter, then she understood and wouldn't write back. She hasn't written."

Hawke slammed her fists on the table, anger on her face. "You're an idiot! Why didn't you reply? Maker, Cullen, reply now!"

He was startled. "I…can't." He pulled open the drawer to his desk and pulled out a letter. It was crumpled up and a corner was torn. He handed it to Hawke. "Read it."

Dearest Cullen,

How are you doing? I hope all is well. You never tell me how Kirkwall is. I still remember us deciding to go there…child's talk I guess. I've heard so much about the city. Are the Qunari really there? Why don't they leave? Hopefully they leave soon and don't destroy the city.

Oh! Alistair and I did some digging and we found out I'm from Kirkwall. Crazy huh? Actually, my family was a very important noble family, until I was born that is. Turns out someone greased a lot of palms to get me out Kirkwall. The Templars I ran into when I was little brought me to a place called "The Gallows"and the family found out and eventually sent me here. I guess everything went downhill from there. I heard my mother's cousin ran off with an apostate. I have cousins Cullen! Isn't that great? I hope to meet them one day. Irving recently gave me some letters from my mother and father that I never received while at the circle. And I always thought I was from Denerim

Lately, I've been thinking, how much I wish things would've been different…you know. I defeated an Archdemon, right? I still don't feel special. Cullen, I have to ask you something. If you never reply to this letter, then I understand…and I won't write back either…After all these years, Alistair asked me to marry him. Crazy thing, I said yes. Tell me, and I'll do it. I want…I miss you Cullen. It feels…wrong. Please, let me know.

Yours Truly,

Amell

Hawke laid the letter down. No words could express the thoughts in her head at this moment. Solona had begged Cullen to talk her out of that engagement. Cullen couldn't find the heart to do so…Hawke felt her heart break for their love, which could never be.

*** Hope Chapter 4 wasn't a letdown *** 3