Shepard awoke curled away from the campfire, torn up moss draped over her. She stretched, chasing away dreams vivid in her mind's eye. Her face became hot as she recalled them, and she wished she was back on the Normandy so she could have a shower and be alone with her thoughts.

A screeching bird was calling to its mate and if she could see it she would have shot it. Shepard had a pounding headache, her mouth was dry, and truthfully she felt exactly as she had the time she had drank fourteen vodka shots, a pitcher of beer, and woke up unable to figure out how to open the bathroom door before she spewed up all over it.

She could have roasted the stupid damn bird over the fire to sate the ache in her stomach. She was slowly starving to death. Despite her missing biotics, her metabolism still felt like it raced at its usual frenetic pace, and that unwelcome hunger gnawed at her belly for the first time since she was sixteen. She also thought she might have a fever, the way her head swum and her skin was slick with sweat.

She jumped up, unwilling to examine those thoughts further, and realized that was a bad idea when she nearly fainted, black creeping into the edges of her vision. Steadying herself, she saw she was still only dressed in the tight-fitting singlet and shorts she wore under her armor. Her neck was stiff, and her back was sore.

Kaidan was lying across the hollow, curled into a ball with his back towards her.

She crawled over to him. "Kaidan."

He didn't answer so she roughly grabbed his shoulder, trying to not remember her dreams. Thank god he was still clothed in his t-shirt and shorts.

She smirked, silently congratulating her rather active imagination. 'Ride that stallion,' indeed. She hadn't dreamt like that in a long time. Her dreams were never generally pleasant, and lately they had just been consumed with the Prothean's death and destruction, planted in her brain by the Beacon.

"LT. Wake up."

His eyes snapped open and he rolled in one smooth motion, his pistol pointed at her. His eyes were wild, darting from her face and away. He looked almost blinded and completely feral.

Shepard raised her hand, attempting to summon a barrier on instinct but nothing happened. His eyes were fogged, as if he didn't recognize her. Or maybe he had been as lost in dreams as she had been, and the real world was a rude awakening.

"It's me. You're safe. We're safe here. You were just sleeping."

He lowered his gun. "Shepard! I'm sorry."

She let out her held breath. "OK. Not exactly the morning greeting I was expecting."

"Sorry," he said again. "It was instinct. You startled me. I dreamt some…. Some bad things. Vyrnnus was there…I dunno." Kaidan rubbed the back of his neck. "Guess I was sleeping deeper than I thought."

"It's fine. You didn't pull the trigger at least," she grumbled, but relented when he looked horrified. "I would have shot you, if I was startled awake. Don't feel bad. I should have known better than to grab you like that."

"Shepard, there's something unnatural about this place. I never sleep like that. Never. Ever since I was a boy I've slept fitfully, and at least been aware of my surroundings. This isn't right."

"I know. My dreams... they were so real. Do you think we could have been drugged?"

"Drugged, how?" He frowned, and they started crawling out of the hollow to collect their now dried armor. "We haven't eaten anything. The asari said some of the plants and animals have psychotropic effects but I don't see how we could have been infected. We have water purifying tablets."

"They might not filter out stuff like LSD derivatives. Plus there are other ways, though, right?" She felt her stomach gurgle and more sweat trickle down her brow. She was shedding liquid she couldn't afford to lose. "I don't feel well."

"Have you taken drugs before?" he asked, starting to pull on his greaves. He looked calm but she noted he wouldn't quite meet her eyes. The sun was shining brighter in the clearing than yesterday and Shepard felt marginally cheered by it.

"'Course I have," she huffed, slapping on a glove. "You live as long on the streets as I did and it's hard to avoid. My mother was a regular user. There was always stuff in the house. Strange men. I tried a few times with the Reds. I never got into it seriously, didn't have the money for one, and I had my brother to be responsible for. It was more a peer pressure thing; it didn't do much for me." She shrugged and turned for him to clip up her chest piece. "One drug addict family member was enough. Finding veins when you're starving to death is a bitch, too. I know what it feels like though. It feels like this. How about you?"

"Not really." He coughed and looked away as she started doing up his own clips on his chest piece.

She arched an eyebrow in surprise. "That's not a 'no' I'm hearing."

He sighed. "I dabbled as a stupid messed up kid fresh from Brain Camp. Nothing major. Just smoked some things. Thought it would take my problems away. It didn't. As soon as I joined the Alliance I left that life behind." His eyes widened. "And oh god when you meet my mother I would sell you my soul for you to never, ever mention that to her."

Kaidan shoved dirt onto the fire with his boot and Shepard smirked, starting to walk away.

She tried not to think of the fact they still didn't know where Ash was. At least the whispers were gone.

"Who says I'm going to meet your mother?"

Shepard marvelled at the difference in the wooded swamp. Birds sung again, and she didn't see a single dead animal. She took it as a sign they were heading in the right direction.

Just in case though, she palmed her knife constantly, and Kaidan kept his pistol ready, despite knowing it would probably do them no good.

Shepard made a misstep, tripping over a hidden hole that was draped with leaves. On instinct as she fell, she tucked her arm against her body, but knew that it would take the full force of her fall and likely shatter again. She closed her eyes and thought and suddenly her descent halted.

She opened her eyes and to her everlasting jubilation and amazement found herself hovering, caught with her own biotics, blue flaring around her body.

"Kaidan!" she screamed, joy in every syllable. "My biotics! They're working again."

He jogged the short distance over to her, grinning from ear to ear.

"So I see."

She set herself down on the ground and just for kicks swerved and threw a blue missile at a log. It exploded in a shower of bark and moss.

She turned to him, almost bouncing on the spot. "LT, you try it. See if yours are back."

He flicked his hand and a barrier sprung up around them.

"Yes!" she crowed, and forgetting herself, leapt into his arms, and hugged him tightly. "They're back. I'm me again."

He smiled and she couldn't help but think it looked rather small and sad. "Guess I'm me again, too."

She stepped closer, watching his eyes and placed a hand gently on his shoulder.

"That's a good thing. A very good thing. I… We need you to be a whole man. You're stronger with them than without."

He put his hand over hers. "I know. Thanks, Shepard."

Shepard padded warily around the next corner and to her great surprise saw Ash lying there in the middle of a rocky pool.

"Ash!" she yelled, vaulting a log. "Oh please, oh please, oh please, don't be dead."

She threw herself to Ash's side and noted that her face was completely unsubmerged, but the rest of her body was carefully arranged under the water, her hands spread in supplication. To her shock she saw that her thick, dark hair was out of its customary bun and floated in the water like a bridal veil. There were blood red flowers threaded through it, and decorated with moss and small freshwater pearls.

It was the most bizarre scene Shepard had ever seen. She didn't have a scratch on her, and her chest rose and fell gently.

She tapped the side of her face. "Ash?"

Ash's eyelids fluttered. "… Skipper?" she murmured.

Shepard pulled her up and into her arms, her great veil of hair becoming a waterfall as she rose and shed flowers.

"What the fuck happened to you?" Shepard demanded, tugging the other woman to her feet as Kaidan ran over. "We've been searching for you for about two days. We were chased."

"Two days? I was just standing guard, on watch. And I, uh, I got sleepy. I tried to wake you, but I fell over. I just woke up here." She looked dazed and dangerously pale, so Shepard wrapped an arm around her waist worriedly. Ash swayed on the spot.

"What happened to your hair?" Kaidan asked with a frown, and Ash picked up a strand, squinting at the small purple flower woven into it.

"I dunno, sir."

"OK," Shepard barked. "This is officially the creepiest fucking planet I have ever been to and we need to leave right now. Let's go. Kaidan, help me with her."

He went to Ash's other side, and wrapped his arm around her waist too. Shepard saw Ash's lips were dry and cracked, and thought she was dangerously dehydrated. She kept blinking slowly.

"I smell flowers," she said under her breath.

"I know," Shepard responded, beginning to walk towards more light through the trees. "Come on, Chief. We're getting out of here."

The next clearing they came to had black water. They had to be nearly out.

No, no no, Shepard thought frantically. They had to get out.

The whispers swirled around them, chanting, calling. Blood ran down from Shepard's ears, and Ash's eyes rolled into the back of her head. Kaidan's whole body shook.

A dead elk stood before them, its throat gaping, its tongue lolling and its eyes gone.

It opened its mouth and spoke.

"YOU HAVE COME TOO FAR."

Its voice seemed to echo in their mind and Shepard knew he was the source of the whispers, or whatever was controlling him.

"What are you?" she demanded, handing Ash to Kaidan and stepping forward. She gripped her Ka-Bar and experimentally flared, relieved her biotics still washed over her skin and sparked against the metal of her knife.

"I AM WHAT IS MUTED. THE GREEN WORD. YOU TREPASS ON THAT WHICH YOU KNOW NOT."

Shepard sloshed through the black water, meeting its dead gaze. She wasn't afraid of some stupid deer. She fought geth. She fought Saren. She saw the darkness of the human heart, and no rotting creature was going to intimidate her. "We only wanted to leave. Why do you keep trying to kill us? What are you?"

"I AM WHAT WAS LEFT BEHIND." Its head lolled, slime dripping from its mouth. Shepard smelt something putrid and understood that the elk itself wasn't their foe, but something behind its dead eyes, calling to them from the heart. "I AM ANCIENT. I ENDURE. I HID WHILE THE LAST CYCLE BURNED. I WILL NOT BE EXPOSED AND YOU WILL NOT LEAVE ALIVE. YOUR BODIES ARE OURS."

She frowned, her breathing quickening. "The last cycle? What cycle? The Protheans?"

"LEVIATHAN MADE A MISTAKE. I WILL NOT PAY FOR IT."

"So you try to kill us? We only wanted to leave."

It canted its head, looking beyond her to where Kaidan and Ash stood. Ash was struggling to her feet and thumbing the safety off her rifle. Kaidan watched, his eyes intent on Shepard's back. He flared, dark energy held in his hands.

"YOU ARE TAINTED. THE OTHERS MAY LEAVE. YOUR MIND IS IMPURE. YOUR PRESENCE HERALDS THE MACHINES." It stepped closer to her; she could see maggots swarm in its neck wound. "THEY ARE INSIDE YOU."

"I'm not leaving without her," Kaidan growled from behind. "Go screw yourself."

"Shut up, Lieutenant!" Shepard barked. "I'll handle this."

"BASE CREATURE." Its gaze swung to Kaidan, and Shepard felt the whispers intensify. She felt her spine start to bend under the weight, but straightened her back with great effort and tried to block out the chanting. "YOU RUT AND THINK YOU KNOW ONE'S MIND. SHE WILL DESTORY YOU. HER TOUCH IS ROT AND YOU ARE INFECTED. SILENCE YOURSELF."

"Were you talking about the Reapers before?" she asked, bringing its attention back to herself and away from Kaidan. "I touched the Beacon. They aren't in my mind."

"WE CARE NOT. YOU WOULD DOOM US ALL. THEY CARVE THEIR PLACE IN YOUR DOUBT."

"Can you tell me anything about them?" she asked desperately, seizing on her chance to learn anything about the threat Saren was intent on bringing back. "How can we fight them?"

"YOUR WORLD WILL BURN. YOUR CHILDREN WILL BURN. YOUR FOREST WILL BURN. THE ROT DOES NOT STOP. THERE IS NO ESCAPE. I WILL NOT LET YOU LURE THEM HERE. I KEEP THIS PLACE, AND THIS PLACE KEEPS ME."

"It keeps you? Do the asari know about you? Do you speak with them?"

"THE BLUE CREATURES KEEP THEIR GREEN WORD, AS THEIR MOTHERS DID, AS THEIR GRANDMOTHERS, AS THEIR GREAT GRANDMOTHERS. THEY STRAY FROM THE PATH AND THEY ARE LOST, BUT THEY DO NOT KNOW US."

"Commander?" Ash said, shoving Kaidan away from her and raising her gun. "I don't think this thing wants to negotiate."

It turned its dead gaze to her and its mouth hung open as if it was laughing. "ASHES ON THE WIND. THE ONE WHO WILL BURN BEFORE HER ROT. YOU ARE YET PURE, UNLIKE THE MALE CREATURE. YOU FOLLOW HER. IT IS FOLLY."

"Let us go. We'll just walk away," Shepard said, trying to edge past it and usher her marines by.

"YOU ARE DEATH AND YOU SHALL NOT LEAVE."

Darkness flew into the clearing and there was a whoosh of misplaced air. Something slammed into Shepard and she flew back to land heavily beside Kaidan and Ash.

"Skipper!" Ash cried, and pulled her up.

Shepard ignored the ache spreading through her whole body and stood.

"Kill him," she barked. "We're leaving. Now."

Ash fired and Kaidan flared but the elk was no longer standing there.

Swarms of whatever the creature could summon flew at them, slicing into their armor, but unable to penetrate the ablative layer that could stop mass accelerated bullets.

Shepard threw a Singularity into the place it used to be, setting up multiple tidal zones around the clearing to hopefully pull it in. It moved fast as sea serpent, skittering along the ground instead of clopping on its hooves.

There was a whoompf, and Kaidan was thrown off his feet, smashing into a tree and falling into a puddle, face down.

He didn't get up.

"INFECTED!" the thing screeched.

Shepard ran for him, sliding in the mud when the creature barrelled for her and she jumped over its legs. Ash's rifle chattered, covering Shepard as she tried to save the man she suspected she had fallen in love with from drowning.

She pulled his face from the water. Blood oozed down from a wound in his forehead and he was unconscious, but breathing. Shepard dragged him out, but as she did so, something slammed into her side and sent her flying.

She landed, skidding across the wet ground and feeling her stomach scream in agony at the abuse. It was a wonder her ribs weren't broken.

She thought perhaps the creature had some ancient and unseen brand of biotics, or maybe it was like the Thorian, archaic and unknowable. Perhaps it had somehow advanced and evolved to the point to possess telekinesis. It was clearly capable of possessing dead bodies, similar to the Rachni queen.

Shepard lay in the mud, her hands fisting there. Ash was beset on every side by the dark swarms, her face panicked and milky. Kaidan lay still.

Shepard exploded.

A shockwave of blue slammed through the clearing, sending everything that wasn't Kaidan and Ash flying. Droplets of water hung suspended in the air, globules of mud floating. Gravity was her bitch, and no stupid fucking elk was going to kill her friends.

"YOUR LIGHT TRICKS ARE UNEVOLVED. BASE. TAKEN AWAY SO EASILY. YOUR MIND JUST NEEDS THE RIGHT BLOCKS."

Shepard gave a raw yell, running at the creature, who for a moment had been halted by her shockwave. She raised her palm, holding it flat before her, ready to throw him with her biotics across the clearing, but a heavy perfume suffused the air, and her powers died away.

The water fell out of the air. Everything she held suspended in her power was subjected to the law of physics again.

"No," Shepard growled. "You can't take them away from me! You coward. Give them back. They're my birthright!"

"YOU ARE WEAK. LESSER CREATURE. SMALL FEMALE. BEND AND I SHALL MOUNT. SUBMIT."

"Fuck you," she spat.

Kaidan was stirring in the mud, his hands grasping weakly for his pistol. "No," he murmured, trying to climb to his feet.

The creature seemed to grin at her, watching him slyly. He dodged Ash's bullets in ways that seemed impossible to Shepard's eyes. The creature was like the shadows themselves, seeming to melt away from the stream of Ash's fire.

It leapt for Kaidan and threw him into the puddle again.

This time, he sat on his back, and its dead eyes gleamed at Shepard as Kaidan's arms and legs began flailing, and bubbles rose from the puddle.

Kaidan's wasted air. His death rattles.

Shepard saw red. She didn't think much when it came to Kaidan. She never did. She reacted. She bargained. She made excuses. She threw logic out of the air lock. She broke all her rules. She broke all his rules. She broke all the Alliance's rules.

So it was natural when she threw herself onto the back of the elk, gripped his ruined neck, pulled out her Ka-Bar, and sliced his head clean off.

The whispers stopped. The shadow retreated.

The dead elk fell at her feet.

She didn't pay any attention, just hauled Kaidan out of the filthy water for the second time, wiping elk blood off her face.

"Kaidan, y-you OK?" she asked, shaky and terrified.

"I'm OK. I'm OK," he said, spitting water out and panting.

Ash ran over to them, her mouth hanging open. "Holy fucking shit, Skipper. You're a-a… you're amazing. That was the most badass thing I have ever seen."

Shepard paid no attention. "Forget that. We're leaving. Bug out. Right now."

Kaidan struggled to his feet and she pushed Ash ahead, shouting at her to run. Shepard pulled Kaidan along, and just before she cleared the next curtain of vines, he grabbed her arm, put his hand on her cheek and kissed her passionately on the mouth. She tasted mud, death and Kaidan, and it was somehow the best kiss she ever had in her life.

Then he took her hand, and they ran, black water chasing them.

They burst into sunlight to see the Normandy hovering over the settlement and Wrex, Garrus, Tali, Liara and Joker harassing some asari, demanding to know where the ground team was.

Shepard settled back on the med bay slab, for once docile as Chakwas strapped a blood pressure cuff onto her arm, and drew blood from her vein.

"You had psychotropics in your system. I saw it in Lieutenant Alenko's and Gunnery Chief Williams' blood work I took earlier," the doctor said, swabbing disinfectant over Shepard's cuts.

"Doc, I certainly felt high on something. I dunno. Everything was kinda… surreal," Shepard said, and leaned back on the med table as Chakwas started undoing Kaidan's stitches.

She hummed. "Nice stitch work. Not quite up to my calibre, but good for a messy in-the-field job. That man should have become a doctor."

"I don't think that's quite Kaidan's thing," Shepard said, her smile turning into a wince as Chakwas gave a tug on a bothersome stitch. She made a mental note to stroke Kaidan's ego and let him know what Chakwas had said. She laughed internally. He'd probably blush and say Chakwas was being generous. "So what about the drugs, doc?"

"They would have lowered your inhibitions, and also contributed to a sort of neurochemical block in your brain. It would have made you incapable of the precise control and thought patterns that trigger your eezo nodules." Chakwas shrugged and began swiping Shepard's cheek with medi-gel and some kind of foul smelling antibiotic paste. "Even with your physical mnemonics to fire your neurons, the signal just wasn't getting through. Once you were dosed you probably started to build a resistance up, or sweated the chemicals out."

"So what you're saying is it blocked off access to my biotics?"

"Yes. You would have felt some side effects. Psychotropics or neuroactives have a wide range of effects: sudden depression, violent rage, heightened sexual arousal, paranoia, insomnia, increased blood flow, euphoria, decreased brain function, mood alteration. It's impossible to tell." Shepard hopped off the med slab and started to pull her SR-1 jacket back on over her filthy singlet. Chakwas raised her eyebrows as she fussed with her medical tools. "Actually if we could ever patent and market whatever drug affected you, it would rake in a lot of money for the Alliance. A drug that takes away biotic power temporarily? It's a gold mine."

"I'm recommending we class that planet as highly dangerous. Hackett's spoken to the asari, but they reckon living near the swamp with that thing is worth the risk. Even Hackett is unwilling to leak this to medical companies. It's too risky. Plus, I don't think the Matriarchs will allow humans to swarm all over that place and discover their secrets. I don't think that thing would allow it either."

Chakwas nodded. "You're right. It's probably for the best."

Shepard frowned. "I'm familiar with drugs, Doc, and the LT and I were definitely not shooting up down there."

"I can't run analysis without proper samples, but it's likely it was in the very air you breathed, or a plant like a flower. Brightly colored species are usually nature's warning sign. It could have even been the mud. We'll probably never know."

"Do you think the asari know about the effect on biotics?" Shepard asked, making her way to the door and her waiting shower and bed.

"Perhaps that's why they colonize that planet, to protect it and keep its secret. Maybe it was a fluke and it was a rare species you ran across. Perhaps it only affects the human brain. I can't say."

"Guess we'll never know. I'm not going back there to find out. I just hope I killed that thing for good, but I doubt it."

Shepard winked at Chakwas and was out the door.

She paused when she saw a man with a dark and uncharacteristically rumpled head of hair sitting at the mess table.

Shepard crept up on him and whispered to the shell of his ear, "Got milk?"

Kaidan jumped about a foot in the air, bags heavy under his eyes. "What?"

"Milk." She motioned to the glass of white liquid he clutched in his hands. "Not often I see you drinking that."

"Yeah." He smiled wanly. "Figured it would help me come down a little and sleep. Ma gave it to me when I was a boy and would have nightmares."

"Working yet?"

"Nope." He sighed, and she pulled the chair out to sit beside him. "Every time I close my eyes… well, that planet was different."

"Yeah. I know how that feels." She clapped him on the shoulder, feeling his warm skin through his shirt. She didn't let her hand linger. "Bunk down early, you look like you could use the rest. Ash is already out like a light."

"I will, Shepard."

She got up to pad to the locker room.

"Hey, Shepard?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for saving me back there. I, uh… Ash was right. You really are amazing. And badass," he lowered his voice, "And ridiculously hot."

Shepard grinned. "I should be the one thanking you for your help down there. I, um, I wasn't at my best. I'm ashamed to admit I didn't handle the whole biotic thing as well as I could have. I'm sorry; you won't have to deal with me being so grossly unprofessional again."

"You don't have to say sorry. I understand. Really."

She stated back away, trying to look away from his gaze and failing. "So… sleep well, LT."

"You too, Commander."

Shepard padded into the showers, running a hand through her grimy hair. She pulled a bug the size of a cherry stone out and grimaced. It was dead, of course, killed by the Normandy's decontamination procedures. She was technically as clean as if she had freshly showered, microbiology-wise.

Still, she shuddered, feeling dirty. She turned the shower up as high as it would go and started removing her clothes, still filthy from the swamp.

As she hopped in the shower, she looked down. She blinked dully at what she saw and in seconds the water had washed it away as if it had never been.

A muddy handprint left on her stomach, far too large to be hers.

Shepard leaned her head back on the wall and laughed until tears ran down her face.

Some things were meant to stay in dreams, stay buried with the shadows, and cool dappled paths, embraced by moss and ivy, to scurrying from pools and glide into the depths to never be laid eyes on again. They were supposed to grow, and die and rot away. They were the past, the primitive, the beautiful and ephemeral.

And some things were meant to burst their way out into the light, to strive, to never sleep, to live forever among the cold light of the stars.

Lagrangian: the five positions in an orbital configuration where a small object affected only by gravity can theoretically be part of a constant-shape pattern with two larger objects. The Lagrange points mark positions where the combined gravitational pull of the two large masses provides precisely the centripetal force required to orbit with them.

Klick: Pseudo-condensed pronunciation of kilometre, commonly used by US military forces.

Take point or taking point: to take point, walk point, be on point, or be a point man means to assume the first and most exposed position in a combat military formation that is, the lead soldier/unit advancing through hostile or unsecured territory.

Ka-Bar: Ka-Bar (trademarked as KA-BAR, capitalized) is the contemporary popular name for the combat knife first adopted by the United States Marine Corps in November 1942. The KA-BAR fighting utility knife traditionally used a 7 in. (178 mm) 1095 carbon steel clip point blade and leather-washer handle. Other, more modern versions of this knife feature single or dual-edge blades and synthetic handles made of Kraton (a non-slip rubber substitute).

CO: Commanding Officer.

Poem reference is clearly Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening by Robert Frost, written in 1922, and which I have obliquely referenced recently in Changeling.

Title is taken from the John Steinbeck novel.

This can be taken as canon to Changeling and Set Free, but it's more of an experimental side story. It happens in... say, one of those off-beat, 'very special' episodes that don't fit with anything else. The time period I would say to be after all the side missions and story planets, but before Virmire.

The swamp is inspired by the one from Avatar: The Last Airbender, funnily enough the episode entitled The Swamp.

The 'sidearm' joke is also paraphrased and cribbed from the Stargate: SG-1 episode, 'Solitudes', written by Brad Wright.

There are things open to your interpretation and you can make your own mind up about them.

The planet's name isn't made up. It's from Australian Aboriginal mythology as are many planets' names in Mass Effect, such as Alchera. (Alcheringa means dreamtime to indigenous Australians, a period unaffected by time, a continuum of past, present and future).

The planet Anjea already exists in Mass Effect but I have changed its location and physical properties to suit my story. Originally, it was in the same system as Alchera.

Comments on anything are, of course, always appreciated.

Thanks for reading.

Thanks to Cortina and Hales for picking out my typos.