I'm supposed to be doing homework, but I don't want to, so I'm using this fic as an excuse to not do it X)

Spider crack fics are just soooooo much fuunn. I've had this fic in my head several months ago, but didn't really feel like writing it. Now, I am. It might take a while to update just so you guys know.

Disclaimer: Characters are Togashi's. Not mine.

Warning: Slight OOC. Just slight…or maybe a lot. Well, this is a crack fic. But do beware. There will be some awkward moments. So…BRACE YOURSELVES!

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It all started with a pebble. A tiny pebble. An innocent tiny pebble. A- okay, enough describing of the pebble, but just to be clear, it did started with a stupid pebble.

A sniper bullet hit Uvo on the side of his head.

"A rifle? How annoying. Trying to take me out from afar?"

The human tank picked up a pebble on the ground, and with such force and accuracy, threw it at the direction of the sniper. The launch did not miss nor injure. It killed.

"Bull's-eye!"Uvo proclaimed jubilantly.

Yes! This pebble…this pebble is a sign from Uvo, Nobunaga thought enthusiastically. He picked up the jagged stone and ran towards the other members of the infamous Genei Ryodan.

"It's a sign! A sign from Uvo!"

The samurai held the stone up proudly so that everyone could see.

If one gives Nobunaga too much time to think, this is what happens. Nobunaga had turned into a believer of spirits after the York Shin incident, much to the inconvenience of others. Kalluto, being the only one who had a business to attend to, was fortunate enough to avoid Nobunaga and this new revelation, which occurs every now and then. The other members looked at each other with a bored expression on their face and proceeded to continue what they were doing before the samurai's random outburst.

"You don't believe me, do you?"

Nobunaga stomped over to a group of four that consisted of Frankenstein, the Grudge, Velma, and Anko.( In case you want to know their real names, it's actually Franklin, Korutopi, Shizuku, and Machi respectively). Their game of cards was kicked away by the angry samurai. He held the pebble in front of them, anticipating the reaction he desired; however, he only received a glare from Machi. Korutopi went over to Bonorenofu, and Shizuku had not yet processed what had happened, and so, only cocked her head to one side.

Nobunaga held the stone up higher.

"Nobunaga, stop it," said Franklin.

"No, I won't! Not until each and every one of you realized what this pebble means!"

"Give it a rest, Nobunaga," a blond bishounen sighed, "It's just a pebble."

"Just a pebble? Just a peb-" Nobunaga shook his head in disbelief. "You spend too much time on computers, Shalnark. If you would just take the time to-" Nobunaga shook his head again, sighed, and went over to Feitan and Phinks.

"What do you think?" He held the tiny object up close to the duo's faces.

"Cocoa pebbles…" Phinks said.

"The universe…" Feitan said.

For a moment, everyone but Phinks looked at Feitan in astonishment. Having remembered that the two had a drinking contest the night before, they quickly dismissed the bandit's momentary profundity…or stupidity.

They're still hungover, Nobunaga decided. He dashed back to the previous group and held the stone up once more, his hands shaking from excitement.

Machi sighed loudly.

"Well," Shalnark said slowly, "I guess you can compare it to the universe by thinking of the rock as a planet and-"

"It's a pebble! A pebble! And don't you dare compare it to a planet, which is practically so small in the universe, it's almost insignificant!"

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME SMALL AND INSIGNIFICANT?!" bursted Feitan, "Let's go. Right here, right now. I'll beat you to a pulp!"

Perhaps three hundred shots of vodka was a little too much for him…

"No fighting, you guys" warned Machi, but Feitan charged at Nobunaga anyway. Too disoriented, Feitan ended up assaulting a wall that was not even remotely close to where the samurai had been standing. Phinks chuckled. Everyone else resisted the urge to do a facepalm that was directed at their "leader."

"Anyways…the pebble…" Nobunaga started.

"Just cut it out already, Nobunaga!" interrupted Franklin.

"Wha? No! You never believe me! None of you ever believe me! I'll show you what a samurai can do. We're the best warriors there are."

Machi snorted. "Ninjas are the better fighters. They fight with skill, stealth, and grace."

"I believe you're both mistaken." Bonorenofu joined in, "My clan fights most beautifully in the world."

The three warriors glared at each other, whipping up a hurricane that had about a three hundred mile radius.

Phinks chimed in, "I think Bono's right. I've seen all you guys fight, but you two just don't seem to have much style despite being a ninja or a samurai."

"OF COURSE, you'd side with Bonorenofu!" Nobunaga spat. Machi just gave Phinks an extra deadly glare.

Phinks shook his head in anger and hysteria. "I am SICK and TIRED of everyone telling me that I get along with Bono just because he looks like a mummy and I have a freakin' Egyptian outfit! I am not getting married to him! Geez…"

"Are you sure?" Shalnark teased.

In a moment's notice, Phink's punch landed right on the spot where Shalnark had been standing. The young blonde had dodged at the last second.

"Whoa, that was a close." said Shalnark.

Apparently, Phinks was a lot more sober than Feitan.

Franklin tried to stop Phinks, but ended up getting into a fight with him. Shalnark was trying to mediate the fight between the two, while Shizuku did the same with the three competing fighters. Feitan was still attacking the wall and Korutopi was trying to avoid the cloud of fists and boulders that were erupting from all the fights.

In just fifteen minutes, the infamous killers turned homeless, their headquarters completely turned to rubble. Not that they were homeless to begin with since technically, those who reside in Meteor City were practically homeless people…so yeah…

The Ryodan ended up at an inn several miles away from their previous base since the whole area around their headquarter was completely demolished and nothing but ash.

Currently, Feitan was arguing with the innkeeper. Well…more like shouting and complaining and whining…but anyways, on with story…

"What do you mean there're only three rooms left?!"

"W-we're very sorry, sir, but Gadot tourists have booked in m-more than half of our rooms," the innkeeper replied sheepishly. Pity her poor soul for she must face the mayhem that always seems to come in the same package as the Spiders.

"...Phinks…"

"Hah?"

"Prepare to kill those damn tourists," Feitan announced as he turned to leave, quite possibly to kill (and torture) some tourists.

"Sir!" exclaimed the innkeeper, completely aghast.

"Wait!" Shalnark bursted, "We'll take the last three rooms!"

Feitan turned to Shalnark with dangerous glint in his eyes. "I. Will. Not. SHARE. A. Room. Especially with girls."

"Ah, so you'd rather room in with men, then. I always did take you for a homosexual individual."

"That's not what I meant!" This…this NERD!

Feitan lunged at Shalnark, only to fall unconscious from midair when Shizuku struck him hard with her vacuum cleaner.

Silence.

*Cough* "Here are the keys to your rooms!" The innkeeper bowed and dashed quickly behind a pillar. "Enjoy your visit at the inn."

With that, she left and hid in the back for the rest of the day, hoping that these psychopaths would leave as soon as possible. Of course, that wasn't going to happen.

Machi was in complete agreement with Feitan about the whole sharing thing, but it can't be helped. Killing might attract attention- unwanted attention, mainly speaking the Chain User's attention. So they have to somehow make this work, though it is quite a pain. The others seem to be rooted in the same logic. So… they're gonna have to share a room with each other…yay.

Machi walked up to Shalnark and with all the courage she could muster, asked the question everyone had been dreading, "Alright, who's rooming with who?"

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A/N: I'm not really quite sure how Japanese inns work, but I went to Google, then to Wikipedia and…there wasn't much info so forgive me if there are inaccurate facts in this fic.

So tired…it's 2 in the morning…ZOMBIE MODE! Raaargh!