A/N On The Universe: This follows neither the anime nor the manga, really, but is set in an alternate timeline and or AU. There is not going to be any Alchemy in this story, but hey I found a happy medium. I kept Ed's Auto-mail arm and leg. :D

A/N On Reviews: I adore getting feedback and constructive criticism, but I do have one request to make. When commenting, please bear in mind that your comments and suggestions, both good and bad, are your opinion only, rather than (in general) a statement of fact. It is easy to accidentally insult or offend an author by sounding demanding and entitled in a written review, and I know that is never anyone's intention. By all means tell me if you think something seems a bit off, but give a moment's thought to how the tone of your review might be received. Thanks!

Warnings: Language. funerals. Angst.

You have been warned.

(A/n is at the bottom of the page!)

Roy

Hughes funeral was held at the local cemetery. His body was laid to rest in the family plots. Military colleges, friends, and family gathered together to pay respect and celebrate Maes's momentous life.

It was a large cemetery, vast in the expanse of rolling green grass hills. Large gulps of clearing for the meticulous headstones and pathways. Marked by troves from visiting loved ones. Full green bushes and tall lilting trees littered the landscape. To say the least, it is a beautiful and peaceful place.

Maes Hughes.
Brigadier General.
1980-2013

A loving Husband and Father.

The cold stone beneath my gloveless fingers sent a chill racing down my spine.
I can't believe you're really gone… The words flitted through my mind, almost asininely so. The thought made my head sag forward towards my chest in a downfall. My friend…

"Promoted to Brigadier General, just for dying in the line of duty." A sigh fell from my mouth. "I thought…" I paused. My sigh turning into a humid chuckle. "I thought I'd always be the one out ranking you. I guess you finally beat me at something… You damn crazy fool."

I stood alone in the sodden grass next to the freshly upturned earth. The mound of dirt marked as Maes's grave stared back at me dauntingly.

As if I'd get a response… Another morbid chuckle left me as I wiped my hand across my burning eyes.

All the attending guests are gone, probably heading to your house... but you're not there... My heart caught sharply on that particular thought, a deep residing pain stretching through my chest. A broken sound clawed its way from my throat and out my lips before I could stop it. It hurt. It physically hurt to breath. Like someone had swept out all the oxygen around me.

"Roy?"

My name being called from behind alerted me to someone's presence. I took a scarce moment to inhale a deep calming breath, trying to collect myself outwardly. A second later, Edward was standing at my side. His expression unreadable. I watched him blink slowly with his attention solely on the grave before us.

I somehow managed a ghost of a smile; a comforting gesture mostly for the man at my side's benefit. I was acting as if everything was alright, that my insides didn't feel raw and exposed. But truly, I wasn't fine. I felt like shattered glass beneath bleeding feet.

I couldn't make my hands stop shaking. I placed them in the front pockets of my blue military issued slacks, trying to hide my tremors.

"Why are you still here? I thought you left with Alphonse?"

There was a static pause, where Edward placed his hands into his own pockets. Mirroring my stance in everything but height.

"I-I didn't feel right… leaving you behind." He finally spoke, never taking his eyes off the freshly tilled ground before us. I could feel the familiar tugging sensation in my heart at Edward's confession.

I was thankful he wasn't observing me, I could feel my eyes burning hot along my lashes. I knew my gaze was glassy; but it was the unbearably tight feeling in my throat which let me know I was on the verge of tears. I tried to clear my voice of the mounting tension but to no prevail. There was no disguising the precarious rumble in my breathing. The feeling was on the rise in my chest and there was no way to stop the invariable. Of course seconds after I realized this, Edward attention was turning towards me.

I could see the worried expression etched in his handsome face. His blond eyebrows pinched with concern. Even through the flooding gates of pain, I could still appreciate how unbelievable gold his eyes truly are. Gleaming over with obvious care and worry. "Are you alright?"

The sky rumbled darkly, black clouds gathered in the greying skies overhead. Almost matching my mood exactly, as if someone was watching from above.

"Yeah." I swallowed soundlessly, placing my military issued hat on my head. Trying to disguise the hurt in my eyes; my expression.

"Except, it's a terrible day for rain."

"What do you mean, it's not raining…?"

"Yes." A single hot tear slithered down my face as the heavens releases upon our heads.

"Yes it is…"

By the time we arrived at the Hughes residence, the house was blooming with activity. Parked cars lines the curbs, one after another. All the way up the street and beyond.

It drove my heart into a fickle pattern. I could feel my blood coursing through my veins. My chest constricting in a tight grasp. I knew how many people were going to be inside the Hughes home. Faces I wouldn't mind seeing. People I hadn't seen in years.

All I had to do was go inside, shake a few hands, and pay my condolences before leaving. I told myself trying to steel my resolve for the situation I was about to walk in to.

It didn't work. I still felt anxiety shaking me to my core.

It was the people I didn't want to see. It was them making me cautious of going inside. Particularly it was a single face, Henry's. And I already knew he was in there.

I'd seen him at the funeral service. Our eyes had locked in the distance separating us as the reverend spoke the sermon. I still remember the bolt of realization dancing upon my spine upon recognition.

Henry.

Even after ten years of no contact, I instantly recognized him. Wrinkles may adorn the skin around his sharp eyes, but I would know those keen eyes anywhere… His hair was greying along the edges, near his ears and hairline. But he was still lethally attractive…

The cab pulled along the curb halted my line of thought as it stopped to let us out. My stomach flutter with anticipation of the unavoidable. It was still raining lightly. Little drops leaving dotted streaks on the windows.

"431 Neid st. That'd be $25.50, sir." The dark-skin cabby spoke over his shoulder through the thick glass partition.

A wave of déjà vu washed over me. I shook my head, breaking out of the reverie. I fished for my billfold from my inner coat pocket, and paid the man with trembling hands.

When I glanced over towards Edward, he was watching me with concerned eyes again. My chest lurched with guilt. What am I letting him walk into? The question slithered around inside me like snakes entering a garden, quick and without caution for harm. Turning away from Edward's kind eyes, I opened the door to the cab and got out.

I instantly felt the cold rain soaking through my black over coat. We both ran for cover under the porch as the yellow-cab drove off down the street.

The voices from inside could be heard from the outside porch. It sent a livewire of anxiety shooting through my system. I knew Henry was in there, I also knew I was going have to speak with him. It wasn't fair to Edward. He knew nothing of the situation he was walking into. Like a blind man, I was leading him into oncoming traffic.

For nameless reason, I didn't want to confess to Edward about Henry. It sent my heart up in my throat, while simultaneously slamming it into the pit of my churning stomach.

I knew I needed to tell Edward… It's his right to know what he's walking into. It's only fair to warn him.

"You alright?"

Edward sweet timbre voice startled me out of my dazing thoughts. I glanced towards him. His hair was damp, making it a mouser shade of blond. His brow strained with distress. Reaching out to grasp the shorter male's hands within my own, I knew I had to admit to him the truth…"There's something I need to tell you…"

Knots upon knots curled in my stomach. I didn't understand, but I was scared to confess about my past. I was fight back a massive lack of words.

I was petrified I would lose Edward if I admitted to having skeletons in my closet. If he found out who I was before I met him… How I'd manipulated straight men into having sex with me, time and time again. Only to leave them once I'd had my fill.

If Edward found out, I'd been planning to do the same thing to him… Damn it— He would never forgive me.

Edward was trying to get me to look at him, I could see his troubled expression from my peripherals vision.

"Roy, what is it?"

I opened my mouth and closed my eyes, "There's—"…but I never got to answer as the front door to the Hughes residence flew open, cutting me off mid-sentence.

"There you are, Roy." Gracia spoke with urgency behind her voice. "Elicia has been asking for you for the past hour."

"Oh…" A look of surprise filtered over her face as she observed Edwards and my hands entwined and our close proximity. "Have I interrupted something…?"

"No." Edward answer before I could find my voice. He spoke smoothly, removing his hands and placing them in his pockets. "Nothing, we can't discuss later." Edward assured finally making eye contact with me.

I disagree, but I nodded my head curtly anyways.

He needs to know… I thought. Before all hell breaks loose. My minded added for emphasis. The situation was out of my hand though. I had other things I needed to focus on; like a distress little girl hurting over her father's death.

Swallowing down the sense of dread building inside me, I turned towards Gracia still standing in the entryway.

"Where is she?" I asked, taking the remaining steps towards the door.

A look of grief passed over Gracia expression. A tired sigh slipped past her lips, as she glanced over her shoulder into the house. "She's disappeared upstairs, in her room. She won't come down."

I touched Garcia's arm as I stepped past her, "I got her." I said with reassurance squeeze. "You go deal with the guest... I'll bring her down."

Her eyes shifted towards Edward, before falling back on me.

"Thank you." She smiled lightly grasping the edges of her long dark cardigan adorning her narrow shoulders. She drew the fabric around her middle, in a motion I knew was to draw in comfort.

"Don't think anything about…" I assured the fragile woman before me.

I took off my military cap and heavy black coat. I motioned for Edward to do the same, before taking his red jacket from his hands. Gracia must have walked away, I could hear her heels clicking on the wooden floor deeper into the house. I motion with my head in the direction Gracia disappeared to.

"I'll only be a few moments."

Edward smiled understandingly before vanishing around the corner into the living space of the Hughes residence.

I draped our damp coats and my cap on the banister of the stairs before heading up the narrow staircase.

Getting Elicia out of her room took an ample amount of persuading with promises of sweets and promises I'll visit her often. Finally I got the little girl out of her room, and downstairs, eating a plate of chocolate chip cookies on her grandmother's lap.

The Hughes residence was active with guest littering every available seat and place to stand. It was elbow to elbow of family and friends, gathering to celebrate the life of a good man.

The kitchen was dedicated to the food area. Three long tables set up with rows, upon rows of different dishes people prepared and brought. It was being served potluck style. Plastic plates and silverware on the ends of the table and the food set up down the long line.

What every widow needs… another tuna casserole… I thought darkly, heading away from the kitchen. I passed familiar faces in the hallways. People Maes and I worked with in the past. I nodded my head in greetings as I met their eyes while simultaneously scanning the front living room for Edward's blond head.

He wasn't there.

Immediately I was struck with a dreadful sensation. Like a dark presence hanging over shoulder.

A touch to my arm startled me, and as I turned towards them. My heart sunk to the floor.

"Mother…"

What is she doing here? I thought cautiously.

"Is that anyway to greet your mother **Leroy." Lillian Mustang spoke with a polished ease. Her disdain barely rising in her monotone voice. She'd always been like this with an air of being above everyone else's status.

The use of my birth name spread irritation through me. It wasn't my name. I never went by it, barely anyone actually knew of it. Even as a child, mother was the only one to call me by that name. I changed it legally to Roy after being kicked out of my parents' home. For some reason my mother couldn't understand I wasn't 'Leroy Mustang' any longer.

I felt my teeth clenching in barely suppressed agitation.

I need a cigarette...

"Mother," I said again. "What are you doing here?" my brow creasing together with my question as I tried to hide my annoyance behind it.

Mother was truly a beautiful woman, even in her late age she showed signs of innate allure in her dainty but elegant face. Even when agitated mother's features barely wavered. Mother never displays emotions outwardly. Frowning and smiling were two things I rarely saw my mother express. She was too vain to have wrinkles. Even now, Mother showed no emotion on her fair face.

I knew better. A flick of her manicured eyebrow, a tilt of her ruby red lips. Signs I learned as a child when my mother was irate with me.

"I baked a pie for…" she paused. Obviously forgetting exactly whom had died. Another trait of my mother's… pretentious entitlement.

I sighed. "Gracia Hughes, Mother."

"Ah, yes. Exactly."

My fist clenched at my sides. I didn't have the patience for dealing with my mother right now. I needed to find Edward. I was hoping with beyond optimism he was with his brother and Riza. My stomach churn with thoughts of finding him talking to Henry or someone else. There were a lot of people here whom are plainly chauvinists to anyone different than themselves…

The rising sounds of angry voices from the patio could be heard. Instantly I felt the hands of anxiety wrap around my middle and tug.

"Who are you calling gay?!"

I knew that gruff voice. It was Edward's. Fuck—.

My mother let out a tiny gasp, and there were murmurs throughout the crowd of people. I knew I was white as a sheet, I could feel my skin turning cold and clammy.

Shit—. Not good…

"Excuse me." I spoke brusquely towards mother before promptly pushing through the flock of people gathering around the back door.

My worse fear was realized upon reaching the patio.

–There stood Edward expression melded behind his mask of rage. While Henry stood cool and collected as he blinks slowly. His thick blond eyebrow arching skywards.

"I meant no offense." A haughty chuckle rumbles out of the much taller male, with a half-smile emerging on his pale lips. "Really, I didn't know…"

"Know what, might I ask?" I questioned a lot cooler than I felt on the inside as I made myself known.

Henry's and Edward eyes both fell to me and Henry's smile lengthen along the edges until it stretched the span of his face.

"A simple misunderstanding. I didn't mean…" he spoke easily slipping his hands into his pockets, while side glancing Edward. "…whatever you thought I was implying."

I felt my face fall into a frown, Edward wouldn't meet my gaze. He was looking everywhere but towards me. It was sounding alarms inside me.

"What were you implying, Henry?"

The tall male let out a brisk laugh. The sound made me feel uncomfortable. A slow smile catching on the depths of his dimples. "I merely asked if Edward and you are… together…"

My breath hitched as my eyes flitted back over towards Edward. He was pink in the face. Cheeks flamed red as a peeled tomato. He still wouldn't look at me, finding the floor more interesting. My heart was in my throat.

Henry cleared his voice, "it was an honest mistake." He continued as he adjusted the sleeves on his blue blazer while maintaining eye contact with me. I could see glee dancing in the depths of his blue eyes… "—though, Edwards tells me he isn't gay."

My heart slammed into the depths of my stomach. We stayed like that for a long moment, Henry's gaze going right through me as he watched me sweat. I didn't doubt Henry could see all the roiling, contradictory emotions rushing through me.

"E-Excuse me?" I finally managed to stutter out.

Henry face lit up like the cat who ate the canary. I realized over the roaring in my ears, what sort of game Henry was playing at. He was trying to drive a ravine between Edward and myself… and it was working. Edward was pulling further away from me and I wanted no part in this. I had no wing to leap the chasm if it came to such things.

Resolving my hurt feelings towards Edward's public refusal of our relationship, I let a cool smile break out over my face. It was a mask I was use to wearing in public. A farce to get through an awkward situation. I could revel in my pain later for now, I couldn't let anyone know how fucking hurt I felt on the inside. I swept all my pain and anger alongside my sadness for best friend death, under the metaphorical ugly Persian rug of my conscious.

"Of course we're not together…" I lied easily, stepping forward to stand next to them both. "Mr. Elric and I are merely acquaintances. Edward's brother just married Riza. They're expecting a baby soon."

Edward was finally looking at me. His eyes wide with obvious shock with the way I was acting. He knew me well enough to know I was disguising my hurt with smiling eyes and desperation to disguise the silent anguish.

I was cracking along the edges, and it fucking hurt to breath but I continued on.

The crowd which had been gathering around the commotion seem to be thinning and Riza appeared like magic at my side. She always knew when I needed her.

As Riza and Henry spoke their words rolled over me like words spoken to a deaf person. I nodded and smiled along, but I wasn't really listening. I was watching Edward and he was doing all he could, not to look at me again.

The urge for a cigarette hit me over the head like a freight train on a path of destruction. Placing a hand on Riza arm to pause her speech, I excused myself. It was high times I'd heeded to my addiction.

I could really use a stress reliever… I thought escaping into the house without a backward glance. I could feel Edward's eyes on me as I disappeared around the bend. I ducked into the crowd and made my way into the garage through the kitchen. The cold darkness of the concrete room engulfed me as the heavy door closed behind me. A sense of stillness washed over me.

The garage must have been soundproof because none of the noise from inside escaped out. I took a deep breath, trying to calm my racing heart.

I felt betrayed. Edward refusal of me… of our relationship hurt. I was angry and it wasn't Edward I was technically angry towards, but just at the way he thought he had to run and hide his true self. It just seemed so wrong in so many ways. Maybe it wouldn't have hurt so much, if I didn't actually care for him, but I do.

This was entirely my fault. My stupidity of letting my heart lead to love. My madness that even now, the memory of Edward's flushed face pulled on my heartstrings and made me want to go out there and rescue him from all those prying eyes. What a pathetic moron, I was turning out to be… Blatantly refused and still wants to play hero to that boy… fucking hell Mustang.

A deep sigh blew through me at my inner self degradation.

Pull yourself together... I thought searching for a light switch. The room was dark, pitched in black. My hand ran along the surface until I found it and the lights flickered on. I dug out my cigarettes from my pant pocket and lit one up. The first intake of the nicotine washed over me like water on a rock; smooth and with ease. I felt my body leaning against the wall and I sunk with the feeling. Allowing my weight to be supported by the chilled surface at my back.

I don't know how long I stood there, trying not to think as I smoked. Every time I allowed my mind to wander, my heart would ache from loss. I subconsciously rubbed at my chest as I smoked.

It was when I was snuffing out my first cigarette and lighting another one up, when the door to the garage opened.

Henry towering form entered as he stopped once his eyes landed on my slumped form against the wall.

He truly is a beautiful man. Long limbs and sharp features. We held eye contact as the door closed behind him, his bright blue gaze to my dark ones.

I rose to full height, and still I was dwarf by Henry's daunting stature. He's really tall… filtered through my thoughts. I'd forgotten how terrible lofty he is. I am no small male (by any means). Usually I was the taller person in normal circumstances, but right now I felt… Insignificant standing next to Henry.

"Am I interrupting?" He asked casually with a smile coyly sitting on his lips as he gestured with his hands to the sides.

I felt my gut clenching, butterfly erupting in the thousands. He was so damn beautiful. I found myself swallowing down a large dose of anger at that particular thought. I hate that my body would betrayed me. I didn't want to feel any type of emotions for Henry other than contempt. He had dragged me through so many hoops in our time together, and then the stunt he just pulled out in the backyard. My anger went far beyond any of it…

I knew my eyes were filled with fire. I forced myself to shrug nonchalantly and I brought my cigarette to my lips for an inhale. Henry chuckled moving further into the room. I found my eyes skating back towards him at the sound. He was watching me with a knowing gleam within his gaze. It made my skin itchy, like I was uncomfortable in my own body.

"Mind sharing?" Henry asked motioning towards my nearly finished cigarette.

"You smoke?" I queried with the tilt of my head.

Henry smiled that half smile of his, the one that could make anyone knees weak.

"When the time arises; I do occasionally."

An ironic chortle slithered out of my mouth as I pulled my pack of cigarettes out again.

I handed him the slender white stick and I watched as he brought it to his plump lips. He motioned with his thumb he needed a light. Without thinking, I leaned forwards and brought my lighter towards him. He had to lean forward and it brought our head close together. I realized this as he inhaled and blew his first plume of smoke into my face.

"Thanks." Henry spoke with allure in his voice, pulling away to lean on the opposite wall adjacent to me.

"No problem…" I acknowledged turning by eyes down to the floor. I couldn't help but think how awkward this situation was. There was so much tension linger between the two of us. So much history unresolved. I could light the pressure in the room on fire.

There was a lapse of speech as he both stood there, smoking without muttering a single word. My eyes never strayed away from my hands folded in front of my body.

It was Henry who broke the uncomfortable stillness, "He's a very attractive man, Roy."

A burst of heat rush through my system, my eyes snapping up from my hands. I felt my brow already furrowing in repressed anger. "Excuse me?"

Henry smile grew along the edges, as he brought his cigarette to his mouth for a drag. "That man." He simple stated as he exhaled a cloud of white. "The one with the long blond hair. He's rather striking. His eyes are stunning."

I felt rage rise like lava in my bones. He spoke of Edward in such a lewd way. Like he was nothing but meat on a plate. "He has a name…" I spoke through gritted teeth.

"Ahhh, yes. Edward." he retorted nonchalantly with an arch of his manicured eyebrows.

With every fiber of my instincts, I knew Henry was leading me into a deadly dance. A game of cat and mouse. Henry was a clever man, always calculating the next move he was preparing to make. It's how his mind worked; plotting and scheming. I knew this, but irrationally I couldn't halt my descent into his wicked trap.

"…And Edward wants nothing to do with you." I growled possessively, snubbing my burning cigarette out on the ground.

"Of course not." Henry chuckled bringing his cigarette to his lips. "Why would he, when he obviously has you…"

"Edward and I…" I glowered out harshly, before realizing how rigid I sounded. I bit my tongue in agitation before correcting my tone. "Elric and I have nothing going on between us." I stated a lot calmer than before.

"Oh? Defensive, might I say…?" said the spider to the fly.

"…because I know the type of man you really are Henry…" I explained looking directly into his blue eyes. Showing him I feared nothing from him.

He smiled a wicked leer, "Do tell…" he spoke exhaling smoke from his mouth. "What kind of man do you think, I am…?"

I paused momentarily, opening my mouth before clicking it shut. Many thing flitted through my mind. Many different phrases I could say… before I settled on exactly, what I've always wanted to say to him, "A narcissistic nihilist of unrealistic importance. A man who can't even see past the tip of his own deadened and lackluster ego." I conceited through a deadpan stare.

Henry smile never left his face upon hearing my words, (if anything it stretched). He even had the audacity to laugh. It made my anger darken into deep shades of black… I felt my hands ball into fists at my sides. My nails biting into the flesh of my palms.

Henry tilted his head to the side as he spoke, a wide smile still coloring his face with mirth. "I'll give it to you, Roy. You always did know how to spruce up an insult." Henry tittered flicking his nearly smoked cigarette to the ground, before stepping on it with his heel.

"…But don't you think you're being a bit punitive in your observations?" he continued taking a step forward. I felt my hackles rise at his proximity. "Considering, the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, now does it Roy?"

A resulting jolt of anger struck me like lightning in my chest. Henry words were too close for comfort. I knew what he was hinting around. He was saying I was just like him. Only thinking about my wants and needs. Not caring about how I achieved them through whatever means necessary. But that wasn't the case (at least not anymore), I cared for Edward on a deeper level other than just for sex…

Maybe at first that's how it was. Everything changed once I got to know Edward on an emotional level… I wanted nothing but the best for Edward. I wanted to see him happy in life. I want to know he's loved, cared for; cherished. Even if I wasn't the one giving it to him.

Henry is wrong. I love Edward… I l-love him.

But Edward had just denied… Refused me publicly. Slithered in my mind as a dark reminder.

"You're wrong…" I argued, but the wind in my sails were slowly fading.

"Am I?" Henry laughed self-righteously as he leaned closer still, touching his hands to his own chest in mock enquiry.

I suddenly realized the type of situation I'd been danced into. Back to the wall, pinned in with no plan for escape. I was at Henry's mercy and that thought made my heart flutter wildly in my chest.

I watched Henry with silent, anguished eyes that were trying desperately to show more anger than pain, but I was failing miserably. I had no response for him. He knew the truth... There was no saving face. All had been laid bare between us.

Henry let out a heaving sigh, before closing the remainder of space separating our bodies. His long gloved fingers sliding behind my jaw, as his thumb swept the arch of my cheekbone. The smooth texture of the leather glove sent chills racing up my spine. A faded memory riding on the smell alone.

I stood there frozen. My stomach in knots, while heat engulfed my body.

"How many times did I advise you to leave the straight ones alone?" Henry whispered sweetly, bringing his other hand up to cradle my face; making me look into his stormy eyes.

A nagging voice in the back of my mind told me to push Henry away, and get the hell way. …But I just couldn't make myself move.

I didn't answer him. It was a rhetorical question. One that didn't need a reply. We both knew the answer to such a laden question.

I watched as his gaze drifted down to my lips as we stood there locked in a perpetual embrace. I hated he was getting this deep of a reaction from me. I was short of breath, nearly panting… I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit there was a part of me reveling in all the attention from Henry. That eighteen year-old boy inside of me craving a kiss, a touch from the man he was obsessing over.

Henry clicked his tongue as he softly brushed my lower lip with his gloved thumb. "Leave the breeders, to their breeding," he quoted himself from long ago, tilting my chin upwards.

"—we're queer." He said with a wide smile. "WE don't need marriage. We don't need the sanction of dickless politicians and pederast priest. We fuck who we want to, when we want to. That is our "God-given" right." Henry chuckled, bringing my face closer even till his next words hung on my parted lips, "We don't do domestic arrangements, Roy."

My breath caught in my throat sharply, and I felt my sanity shrinking away under searing blue eyes... Like an immovable rock, Henry stood before me timeless as ever and I felt myself shaking under the great pressure.

His handsome face scant inches from my own. His eyes ripping through my soul as he gazed at me, leaving me naked, broken, and exposed as I was left out to shiver in front of him once again as the scared abandoned boy.

NO! Get away. Not again, never again! I never want to be that helpless again…

I felt my fight return to me as I tried to pull away from him, not wanting him to ever have a hold over me again.

"Let go of me!" I pushed off him as my body finally listen to logic. I shook my head of his palms on my cheeks. "Let go of me…" I repeated, fighting his hands. The words were cut from my throat as I was flung against the opposite wall harshly.

"W-what the hell are you doing?" I questioned frantically as I clawed at Henry's grip on my wrists. His hold was tight, and I had practically forgotten about Henry's Automail arms. The strength he wielded with such experience. It explained why I couldn't break his grasp on me. I felt like kicking myself for letting him get this close to me. He slammed my wrists against the wall above my head leaving me immobilized and defenseless to his descending mouth towards my trembling lips.

I was thoroughly trapped and we both knew it. An arrogant smirk appeared on his face right before he closed the distance between our mouths. My breath left my lungs in an aired rush with the slip of his tongue.

Henry's mouth is hot and wet and, fuck, I can't stop myself.

My mind drifted back to the days of my youth, pinned in a coat closet with Henry devouring me whole.

A vibration echoed through Henry's chest with a chuckle as I surrender into his hold easily.

'So hot…' my mind thought hastily with my heart beating loudly against his chest. I couldn't think straight as I moaned into the unmerited kiss.

Sinfully, I opened my mouth and shut my eyes as I tried not to hate myself for my weakness. I am merely human, you cannot find fault in the fact I felt so terribly alone. Wanting, a soft touch of a hand, the caress of aching lips.

I am human and I want.

I am human and I make mistakes.

Henry's hands slipped from my own as they slithered in my hair to cradle the nape of my neck; angling it back to deepen the kiss.

My eyes stung, my knees felt weak, my blood thundered in my ears and I felt heat rushing towards my cock as my mouth was fucked from Henry's invasive tongue. My finger curled into the fabric of Henry's navy coat almost painfully, pulling him closer to me. Henry's smoked laced tongue was dominating every inch of my own.

I am human and I want.

A muffled moan escaped my own mouth at the loss of his touch as he drew his head away from mine to look back, over his shoulder at something… at…

The garage door clicked shut. A startled gasp erupted into the room and I froze as my eyes caught the lone figure standing by the entrance.

Round yellow eyes stared back towards me.

"I'm sorry…" Edward murmured. His face lineless, back straight but he couldn't keep the quiver from his voice. Nor could he stop the tremor from running in his hands. He was so small, turning in on himself.

So young. HE looks so very young… my mind skidded on this thought... and I couldn't make myself move. Everything was moving too fast as I functioned in slow motion, moving through time in a space of molasses.

"I-I… have to leave." He stuttered, his voice hitching on his words before he was opening the garage door to walk through.

I felt my world up heave and turn completely on its axis. Everything suddenly started moving again as the cold hands of reality bit into my skin. I felt sick. Violently ill. My stomach knotted into a tangled mess I conjured of my own making…

I am human and I make mistakes.

"Edward…" I gasped, detangling myself from Henry's. His hands fell easily as the chuckle following after. Henry spread his arms out in mock surrender with a knowing smile.

"Edward… stop!" I called out louder chasing after the closing door but he was already gone. I stood defeated with my chin held to my chest. Anger was gathering in my heart and Henry daunting laugher helped nothing.

"I told you—," Henry didn't get much else out as my fist collided with his nose in a sickening crunch.

The punch made Henry stagger from the force of the blow, his face swept sideways as blood spurted from his nostrils. Henry's hands came up to cover his face. "You broke my nose!" he wheezed out.

My chest was heaving, and anger was circling within me. I felt like I couldn't breathe. I knew I had to get to Edward, explain somehow this wasn't what it appeared to be. But how could I clarify a mistake I knew I had made outright… I was furious, but mostly I was livid at myself. For my own weakness… for my lustful inclination. I was the one at fault here. I was the one who fell willingly to Henry trap.

"Damn it!" I blurted out, turning from Henry's cries of pain, I threw the door open into the house. I knew I looked a mess, hair disheveled from a passionate embrace, eye's burning from frustrated tears unshed. I couldn't care what people thought of me, all I knew was I needed to find Edward and fix this before I couldn't. The annoying voice in the back of my head whispered lilting lines of my failure. How Edward and I were already broken beyond repair. How there was no way to mending anything, considering Edward had just recently been through a terrible break up with a cheating girlfriend…

I felt bile rising in my throat at my thoughts. I wanted to smack myself for forgetting. Shit… shit. Shit! I roared in my head as I scanned the room for Edward's blond head. He was nowhere to be seen. The urgency to find him rose to a fever pitch.

I moved from room to room, he wasn't anywhere to be seen.

Did he leave? I question internally, rubbing my palms down the fronts of my slacks. I felt at a loss. Everything was spinning out of control, and I was standing in the center of it all. Panic rose in my chest, and I felt like I couldn't breathe.

God, what have I done?

Edward

Numbly I rushed out of the garage. I had gone in looking for Roy in lieu of the fact I was becoming worried. I came out with a flurry of emotions twisting my stomach around like a typhoon. I felt sick, seeing Roy with t-that, that man… I thought—

I shook my head. Apparently I had thought wrong. I was nothing but a doorstopper for Roy. A passing fancy who's limelight had already faded into nothing but a closing curtain. I felt my heart catch sharply, I pushed it down.

I could break once I was out of sight from all these strangers.

My heart hurt, but my pride was still enact. It was the only thing hold my pieces together. Otherwise I would have scattered on the winds, too small and insignificant to matter.

I found my brother standing off to the side of the living room with his wife. His face still sunburnt red.

"I need your keys." I demanded without a greetings.

Alphonse's blond brow rose skywards before furrowing in concern upon seeing my shaky form. "Brother, are you alright?"

I sighed, I knew Alphonse could tell I there was something wrong. He could always determine if something was a stray, it was like some freaky sixth sense of his. It didn't help matters that my eyes were glazed over and I looked like shit. My skin was pasty from the shock of walking in on Roy…

I stopped my line of thinking right there. "J-just gimme you're Key's Al..."

Alphonse face twisted into a ball of confusion, as he hurriedly dug his car keys out of his pants pocket. He handed them to me, and I snatched them out of his grasp.

"Where are you going?" He asked. Worry now taking ahold of his tender voice.

My mind whirled for a believable excuse for my sudden departure… "I-I need to lie down for a while…" I lied through my teeth, taking a few steps away. I needed to get out of here. Roy would be coming for me soon. I didn't know how I would react if he actually caught up with me. "… I'm not feeling well."

I didn't give him a chance to respond before I was turning and walking away. I heard my name being called after me. I ignored it and continued out the door and down the street looking for my little brother's SUV.

It wasn't raining any longer. The clouds in the skies were still grey, threatening any moment to let loose. Moisture hung in the air wetly, all the surfaces laden with raindrops and puddles.

My inside were a mess. Tangles of doubt circled within me. I kept questioning how my life gone so astray. First the break up with Winry. Then with my job and to seal the deal. I had fallen into a tangled mess of a relationship with an obviously ambiguous male, who really cared nothing about me.

I felt like screaming until I had no more voice to give. Every time I closed my eyes I could see Roy pinned to the wall, moaning into subservient pleasure. It made me ill.

I thought I was the only one. I thought I was something special to him… I growled at my thoughts, balling my fist into a tight fist. I heard the automail groaning from the stress at my side.

To think, I almost admitted to being in love with the bastard. My stomach churned with my anger and sadness. It was a confusing mix of emotions. I wanted to be angry, but I kept feeling my chest catching on the pain.

I love him… oh fuck— why does it hurts… My heart ached with every beat, I wanted to rip it out and leave it bleeding on the floor.

I finally found the blue SUV parked along the curb. I let out a silent thanks as I crawled inside the driver seat. With shaky hands I placed the keys inside the ignition but didn't start the engine. Instead I placed my forehead on the steering wheel, I couldn't breathe. It physically hurt to breathe. Every breath, every inhale like a dagger into my lungs.

A broken sound left my lips and I felt my heart clench.

It was my fault… I was the one who started this… If only I hadn't denied Roy in front of everyone. Admitted to loving him sooner… I-I-I love him… "W-why does it hurt…?" I choked out, grasping the steering wheel tightly with both hands until I couldn't feel my flesh hand anymore.

My life is a mess, a serious fucking mess. Chaos surrounded me from every front. I was lost and I didn't know how to dig my way out. Water gathered in my eyes, I felt them burning along the edges. I wouldn't allow myself to cry. It would mean surrendering my last spare strand of dignity. I couldn't allow such things to happen. It was the only thing still holding my shattered pieces together.

Rising my head from the steering column. I took a steading breath, trying to calm my rattled nerves. I struggled to swallow the shard of glass that had formed in my throat.

I realized somewhere inside me, this betrayal hurt worse than what Winry had committed. Maybe due to the fact our relationship had already been on the rocks for weeks. I hadn't been in love with her for a long time by the time I walked in on Russell and her. I'm not saying what she did was alright by any means, just it hadn't cut nearly as deep as Roy's betrayal.

I l-love Roy. Fuck… fuck. Fuck! It wasn't fair…

I needed to get out of here. Sitting here was not a wise idea. With another heavy exhale I started the engine, put the SUV into drive and pulled away from the curb.

I vaguely remembered how to get back to Roy's manor. It took me longer than necessary. I got lost a couple turns in the confusing part of town, where all the houses looked identical to the next. I finally found my way out of the twisted Twilight zone of PleasantVille.

Somewhere along my journey (somewhere between the first street I got lost on and the last) I decided I need to leave town. I needed to go home. This entire trip had been a terrible idea. I was trying to rationalize it to myself, what huge mistake it was for me to be here, with Roy.

I'm not gay. It was the thousandth time I thought these words… I tried to force myself to swallow this notion. How could I be, when I only have ever found one man attractive? Sure I had sex with him, but I'd only done it once. One man is not enough to openly declare me queer… Did it?

This was the argument I kept having internally. I was so confused. Hurt. Angry. Saddened. It was all too much. I could handle all the mix emotions circling within myself. I felt like breaking. Crawling into a dark hole to never be seen from again. The best I could manage at the moment though, was to pack my belongings and ditch town.

With this idea turning within my head, I parked the SUV and hurried inside.

The door was unlocked as I entered. Something I remembered from before; Roy never locked his front door. People (I.E the hired help) were constantly coming and going through the house.

The manor was quiet when I entered the threshold. An eerie feeling washed over me and I brushed it off to being alone in someone else's house when they weren't home.

Ascending the stairs two at a time, I made my way into Roy's bedroom. The scent of the man smacked me across the cheek as I entered the room. It was like burying my face into the nape of his neck, his cologne was so strong here. My heart felt swollen in my chest. While the room was warm, the atmosphere was frigid, filled with a stiff restraint.

It was nearly unbearable.

This was Roy's domain, everything around me screamed it belonged to him. The scent, the feelings, the decorations, I was surrounded by Roy, and it was stifling. I needed out, so I hurried my action. Rapidly gathering all my belongings, I threw it all into my black suitcase. Not even caring to fold my shirts and pants.

With my rolling luggage following behind me, I left the room.

It wasn't until I was coming down the first steps into the living room, did I hear the front door open.

"Edward…?"

I struggled to swallow past the jagged shard of glass forming in the back of my throat. Just seeing Roy made my heart swell in pain.

"W-what the fuck are y-you doing here?" I couldn't keep the quiver out of my voice, the same soft shaking following into my flesh hand clutching my suitcase handle in a vice like grip.

He was watching me with careful eyes as he took a step forward with his words,
" I, think we should talk about this…" his eyes flickering towards my suitcase resting behind me, before flitting back towards my face. There was resounding heartache remaining within in his gaze.

I didn't let him continue.

"Fuck you." I blurted out, shaking my head and hurrying down the rest of the steps. I felt tears gathering in my eyes. I didn't want to cry in front of him. I didn't want to show him how, fucking, bad he'd hurt me already. Suddenly the walls of the room seemed too close, constricting in around me. The air seemed thick and alien. I needed to leave. I needed out.

Roy stepped in front of me, his depthless black eyes begging for a chance to explain. "Please..." He beseeched, helpless, hopeless, frustrated. "Please give me a chance to explain."

I looked into his face, hope articulated in his expression. So was grief and regret. Lingering and swirling together as an artist mixing colors for a painting.

"There's nothing left to explain…" I deadpanned, pulling away from his pleading stare. Roy's demanded hands found my shoulders before I could get too far. Pulling me backwards for a hug. I felt numbness engulf me as I was embraced from behind.

A silent sob shook Roy's shoulders as he pressed his face hard into the crown of my head. "I-I'm so sorry… I didn't want… I didn't mean… I wasn't…" but he couldn't finish any of those sentences. None of the excuses held water. Nothing could. Not even a heartfelt apology could remove the fact that even now, the memories that filled my brain with such horror and disgust continued to play persistently.

It was then that I truly stopped allowing myself to feel or care about anything. Detachment was so much better than the constant, unrelenting pain of this heartbreak. I wanted to hurt him, as much as I was hurting. It was the only reason to explain my next words.

"Everything about you was a fucking mistake."

It was like a chain reaction, Roy sharply inhaled as his arms dropped down, allowing me to escape. He froze like a statue at my back, and I quickly took advantage of Roy's subdued state.

I walked out the door and never looked back.

There was a loud crash from inside, the sound of a glass smashing to a thousand piece against the wall. My inside reflected that sound. Still I didn't turn around. I kept walking furthering myself for my source of weakness.

It wasn't until I got home later that night, to my apartment in the city, and I strip down to curl up in my cold sheets. Only then did I allow my carefully constructed visages to come crumbling down.

Piece by broken, piece I fell into a million tiny shards as I mourned my broken heart and the man I thought I loved.

It's amazing how someone can
break your heart
but you still love them
with all the little shattered
pieces. –Anonymous.

Roy's real name (Leroy)- I know Roy's name isn't Leroy inneither the manga or anime. -_- I took artistic licenses for Roy's mother purpose in the story. No offense towards cannon. I love cannon!

Henry- I based this character off Lee Pace. If you don't know who he is, please look him up. He's soooo garsh-darn beautiful! I want to climb him like a tree!

Sorry for the late update. My computer BLEW UP. It was like a fire-work-show in my house. *phew phew phew*
I thought a gun blew up right next to me. Instead it was my computer dying! Thank goodness I back everything up!
It's fixed now and I should be back for good. Again sorry for the late update.

I hope you all enjoyed!

:)

five reviews for update!