1st Aug 2009:
As if moving to a different country didn't suck enough, I have to re-do high school, go to therapy and live on my own. My parents think I'll have a better life here in the States and even though they can't trust me to not put myself in hospital, they've bought me my own house. Yeah I don't believe it either.
I walk into my therapists office, give my name to the receptionist and go to sit down when I notice a guy watching me. He's attractive in a vaguely dangerous way, dark hair and dark eyes. He's either staring at the way I'm dressed or the visible scars on my arms. I like to dress how I want to, comfortably. Todays outfit consists of ripped jeans, a tight black Johnny Cash t-shirt and my trusty New Rock boots - I still can't believe I was allowed to bring them with me. I got comfortable or as comfortable as I could with this guy watching and I decided to make him realise I could see him trying to figure out why I'm here.
Pointing to myself while looking him in the eye, I just come out with it. "I self harm. I can see you wondering why I have to be here so thought I'd stop your brain imploding from the effort." To say he looks shocked is an understatement! "Sorry but I don't like people trying to guess and coming to the wrong conclusion. I'd rather be asked straight and no I don't mind people knowing that I have problems, it's not exactly hard to see my scars. If people were to talk more openly about it then there wouldn't be a massive stigma attached to mental health. You see a regular doctor if your body is sick so why not see one for your brain?" I rambled. I can feel my cheeks heating up as I realised what I'd said was what my last shrink had told me after a bad session where I'd told him about being bullied for my scars. "Sorry again. I ramble when I'm nervous." I said. Yeah as if he couldn't come up with that conclusion on his own.
"You don't need to be nervous, Dr Fields is the best there is but he makes you work for it. I've been coming here for years. I'm Ricky, Ricky Underwood." he finally came out with.
"I'm Sarah Thomas but I prefer being called Lou. It's what my parents have always called me" I explain before the receptionist calls my name making me jump and showing me which door to go through.

"Why do you think you harm yourself? I know you're on Citalopram to help with the depression and anxiety by why cut? Dr Fields asks me once I'm settled on the massive sofa.
"Umm…I seem to always have this hurt throughout my body and in my head with no real reason or physical cause. I suppose I harm so that I have a reason to be in pain and I can then care for the wound and watch it heal. I sort of get really agitated, get the things I need then when I actually cut I zone out, it's not until after that I see what I've done and how badly." I answer
"Is that why you have tattoos and piercing as well? You're 17 so it's technically illegal but why?"
"In a way yes. I do have an urge to go out and get something done just like I get an urge to cut and I still get to care for and heal which gives the same feeling but this way is better looking than the scars I suppose. I'd rather my body tell a story but not one of how I abuse it but I can't stop myself."
After a rather exhausting session (in my mind but I can't say that I wasn't warned) I was dismissed with another appointment for the following week. On a plus the only time they could fit me in was during school hours…oh no what a shame! I can't get over the fact I have to go to school here all because even though I completed high school with good GCSEs, I missed a lot of school what with being sectioned and all so to make up for locking me away my parents enrolled me in the local high school.

Ricky POV:
Wonder what her story is? If there's anything more to it than just having to come see Dr Fields. It's obvious she's English and attractive, blonde hair with a bit of red in, good body, intelligent and opinionated. I did notice a tattoo when she bent to get her bag, would like to get a closer look but I'll never see her again.