"There are so many things I want to say to you. But time has caught up & now I'll never say them. Except that I've loved you from the moment I saw you & every moment since."

-Anonymous

You could listen to the song "So I Thought" by Flyleaf while reading this.

Tobias's Point of View

Three months. It's been three months now since I and Tris ended the special thing that we share. It's a silly thing to recall over and over again. Before, when initiation wasn't beginning yet, I've already thought about the idea of leaving Dauntless and settle with the factionless. But from the moment she fell on that net and I helped her up, I knew that I've changed my mind. She's a short, skinny girl from Abnegation who, on first impression, might be a jellyfish through the eyes of other people like Eric. But during the course of initiation, she has proved that impression wrong. I saw it in her. She is strong. And it was fascinating.

But other than that, she's unusual in a good way. I don't think I would forget the day when she took Al's place on the board and I had to throw the knives on her. The night with her on the Ferris wheel is also impossible to fade from memory. She wasn't scared of heights like I am but I wouldn't just let her do it alone so I followed her up there. It was smart of her to have that kind of idea in order to find out where the opposed team hid their flag.

And do you think I'm sane for thinking about the good things that have happened to us? Because to tell you honestly, I can't help it. There have been a couple of nights previously when I couldn't get to sleep for I kept on flashing back to the old days. Yes I know it's over—we're over—but I don't understand why memories like showing her my fear landscape and kissing her for the first time at the chasm still haunts me like a ghost. It's all supposed to be in the past. Those days are gone.

She might be in love with someone else now. And maybe that's what she thinks about me too: that I found someone new to take the place she's left empty. But there's no way that I could find out if I'm right. It's been a clean break but we rarely talked since we ended it. There weren't shouting and throwing things on air when it occurred. We just figured that…

That it's not working anymore. We fought a lot. Sometimes they're about the smallest things that either of us makes worse. We don't understand each other that much, also. There's been a point when I thought perhaps we should just stop. I didn't think we could make it for a multiple more years together if we all we do is fight, fight and fight. People get tired, you know. And I think that's what happened to us. We got tired of it.

But nonetheless of the break-up, we still try to act as though everything remains normal. Every time we meet each other on the hallways or at the dining hall, or everywhere else, we greet each other with a simple smile. It's not awkward. Why would it be? We both knew in ourselves that we're no longer the people that we used to be. Everyone also knows about it. We mind our own business now and dating anyone we want is a part of that. It's just that… ever since we broke up, I haven't laid my eyes on any other girls yet. Maybe there are some whom I find as pretty but I didn't look at them the way I look at Tris when we were still together. But still… we both know that we can't go back.

The only option on hand is to move on.

Early in the morning, I left my apartment to have breakfast with Lauren at the dining hall. It used to be I and Tris who do that together but Lauren's been my new company. Most of the time we talk about the usual: trainings and initiation. But when there's nothing much to say, we just focus on our plate.

En route to the Pit, I heard voices from one of the corridors. The signal doesn't sound good. Something must be going on.

"I said I don't want to go! Leave me alone!" a female voice says.

"Why, Tris? You and Four were over since three months ago. You now have the freedom to do whatever you want."

I take a step closer and hid behind the layers of rock to listen to them.

"And you think going with you is what I want? Find somebody else that you can trick!"

Then when I peek over my shoulder to see what is going on now, I spot the guy that Tris is talking to. He looks young. Sixteen of age, maybe. He's got tattoos on his forearms and an earring on his left ear. He grasps Tris by the wrist and is insisting her about something that she isn't interested with.

"C'mon, Tris." He chuckles. "It's just for tonight. There are others coming too."

"Haven't you heard me?" she tries to release herself. "I don't want to go!"

Then like a bolt from the blue, she's taken off the hold on her and pushes the boy with such force away from her that he falls on his back on the floor.

This is where I enter the scene.

"Tris," I say.

She turns around and was dumbfounded with my sudden presence. She might be thinking that I'm stalking her but I'm not. Seeing her with that Dauntless boy is nothing but coincidence. Or… maybe it happened by purpose.

He helps himself up and stands on his feet again. I could tell that he becomes a little scared when he sees me standing beside Tris.

"She said she doesn't want to go." I say. "Why do you kept on forcing her?"

"We're just going to party tonight at my apartment." He answers. "What's bad about that? That's a typical thing here in our compound."

"But I told you I'm not coming!" Tris protests. "So you don't have to force me for I'm not going to change my mind!"

From Tris, I turn my focus back to the Dauntless boy.

"You heard her. She won't come. Get your ass to your own business."

He escapes laugher. He examines how close I and Tris are from each other. But when I check how far I stand from her, I reckon that there's an enough distance that parts us. He might only be looking for a reason to point out.

"Don't tell me that you two got back together." He teases. "Is that why you don't want to go, Tris? Because Four won't permit you to do so?"

"It's not that!" she snaps. "And he's right. You better just mind your own business."

He shrugs. "Well… the party's something not to miss. But it seems to me that…" he shifts his eyes from Tris to me. "That you're interested with something else."

He begins walking backwards to finally leave. I and Tris just chose to say nothing back. The boy must be insane. But I wouldn't appear in the scene if I didn't care. I should have walked away and let Tris handle this herself but I didn't.

When the Dauntless boy has gone from view, I turn to look at Tris. She's biting her lower lip and is trying not to meet my gaze. But then, like what we both knew, nothing has to be awkward between us anymore. Whatever that boy has said isn't true either. If we did get back together, then we aren't supposed to be in this kind of phase: trying not to show any hint of affection.

"What was that all about?" I ask when silence has occupied so much space. "What does he want?"

Finally, she looks at me.

"He was asking me to come over to his apartment for a party." She says. "He wanted me to hang-out with him and his friends. And I said no."

"Why not?"

"Because I know." She crosses her arms and looks at the wall on her right. "I know what it is for. I've already sensed that they're going to set me up. I also know a few of his friends. They're that type of people who're up to no good. And what's more?"

It takes me a second or two before responding.

"What?"

"They're taking benefit about the fact that… that…"

"That we're over." I finish for her. "They want to include you in their games because they find you as helpless without me. They want to trick you to see how it will affect you—the two of us."

Her focus remains on the wall but she nods. "Yes. Something like that."

And although she doesn't say it, I heard a hint of pain on her voice. I don't know if it has something to do with me or with what we used to have but at this moment, I want to touch her. I want to pull her for a hug and let her know that in spite of how those people see her, I still believe that she's strong.

But as much as I want to do that, I stay where I am.

"You know that's not true." I tell her. "You've been fine since the previous months even without me. They're just looking for faults from you."

Then I heard her sniff. She wipes away a tear using her finger but still, she won't look at me. She doesn't want me to see her crying. But I know that she is.

"What hurts?" I ask.

She wipes the rest of the tears that followed and is hesitant to look at me initially. But when she's released a breath and has shut her eyes for a while, I knew she can already face me.

And she did.

"Will it be too much if I… if I… hug you?"

She almost chokes on the last part where I heard the same longing that I have. I've wanted the same thing since lately. Or maybe I really am a terrible liar. I've wanted to hold her ever since we ended it, every time she haunts my memory. Maybe I never really lost the special feeling that I have for her. Maybe loving her no more is just an illusion.

"Nobody says it's forbidden." I walk closer to her. "So come here."

I open my arms wide and she inserts herself in. I didn't know that I missed her this much not until she wraps her arms around my waist and buries her face on my shirt. This is just one of the things that we do before. I never thought that three months seem so long now.

"You really didn't lose me, Tris." I say. "And I didn't find somebody else."

"I don't want anyone else, Tobias." Her voice is muddled. "I just want you. Just you."

I pull away but not too much just to search for her expression. She looks up to me, her eyes flicker with tears. Then she closes them when I lean down to kiss her forehead.

"Me too, Tris." I kiss her lips. "Me too."

A/N: So last night, by 10:30 p.m., I was really having a hard time to sleep. The lights were turned off already but I'm still wide awake. Then suddenly, I thought of writing a one shot story where Four and Tris have broken up. And I told myself, "Yes! Yes! I'm going to write that tomorrow!" and so here it is. :'D But it doesn't mean that I'm abandoning my other story, "Way to You". I would update that when school works have lessened and if I find time.

For the meantime, please review and let me know what you think about this one shot! I'd like to hear from you! : )

Iris Molefoursted