Monday, May 25, 2009

It was still relatively early on the last day of the school year and Lilly was essentially satisfied with her academic results. Her report card showed two As, three Bs, and two Cs. It was one of the best report cards she'd ever gotten. She'd spent some time after the final class had let out standing in the hallway talking quietly to Oliver and Joannie before they all planned to head over to the DQ for a celebratory Blizzard. As they spoke, the few remaining students rapidly and noisily vacated the halls around them.

The three made their way slowly down the long hallway to their lockers to grab the last of their things before the start of the always too-short summer break. Lilly could hear the echo of their footsteps as they rang down the long run of lockers lining the walls on either side of the hall. Turning left down one short side hall she was surprised to see someone leaning against the wall opposite her locker. With a long sigh she pointedly turned her eyes away from the sad figure of a certain blue-eyed brunette.

"We'll see you over there," Oliver told her softly as he grabbed Joannie's elbow and forcibly pulled her down the hall toward the exit.

"But I want to hear…" the other blonde whined, eliciting a short snort of amusement from Lilly and a smack on the back of the head from Oliver.

Miley didn't say a word until Lilly had stopped in front of her locker and started working the combination lock.

"Can we please talk, Lilly?" Miley asked in a soft, downtrodden voice.

"What about? What could we possibly have to talk about Hannah?" Lilly asked with a frustrated sigh as she grabbed her jacket, slammed the locker door, and then turned away to continue her escape from the nearly deserted school. All she wanted was to get in her truck and get away. She'd promised her friends to meet them, otherwise she'd have been just as happy to head to work so that she could sweat off some of these emotions that kept toying with her heart.

Miley was everything she wanted and nothing she could ever have. She had thought that she'd eventually be able to forgive the girl after Friday night, but seeing her now all she could think of was that the Miley Stewart she had fallen in love with was gone and all that was left was Hannah Montana.

"You just can't seem to grasp that I want nothing to do with some trumped up superstar," she snapped at the girl following behind her.

"Lilly…no…Lils, please. I don't want you to walk away from me like you did in second grade."

Lilly stopped, her forward momentum and the majority of her weight placed heavily upon her right foot which had suddenly become rooted to the spot. She wanted to keep walking, she desperately wanted to get away, but her muscles weren't listening to her head. Some other organ had taken control.

Given that Miley had yet to remember even a single moment of their past history together it was too much of a longshot that she'd suddenly remember now. But her heart refused to throw away that one possible opportunity even if the odds were against her.

"I see your father has been telling you stories again," she said calmly, not turning her head to look at the beautiful girl standing behind her. Even without eyes she could see the brunette wringing her hands in trepidation.

"You know that's not true, Lils. No one was there but the two of us," Lilly heard that soft, heartbreaking voice say as the years seemed to slip away.

It had been a stupid argument. The two girls had been in Miley's room talking about their families. Lilly's mom and dad had been fighting at the time. It was just before they filed for divorce. The young blonde had told Miley all about her parent's failing marriage and the blue-eyed girl had said something derogatory about Lilly's father. Right now she couldn't even remember exactly what words had been spoken, all she remembered was thinking that only she had the right to say something like that. Not even her best friend could get away with reproaching her father. She'd blown up and stormed out of her friend's room even as Miley followed her, crying out her apologies. They'd eventually gotten over the spat, but it had been a hard two weeks of pain and solitude for both girls.

"You could have told your father about it back then and he just retold you the story. No memory involved." Lilly had to say it. She had to punch those holes in Miley's honesty no matter how much she wished it were otherwise.

"No, I didn't speak to my father," Miley said softly and Lilly could actually hear the tears in her voice. "I spent some time in Mamaw's hayloft."

A visible tremble hit the school's star pitcher - starting in her toes and rushing all the way through her body and out through her fingertips causing her precarious balance on her right foot to give way. Lilly was just barely able to catch herself and keep from falling into the lockers. She shook her head in negation as she got her feet back beneath her. No. It wasn't possible!

"M-Mamaw's…h-hayloft?" Lilly stammered as she slowly turned around.

Miley's eyes had dropped to the hands that she was, indeed, wringing viciously against her waist. "Mamaw came by the house Saturday morning," she sniffed. "She had talked to my dad earlier and she practically dragged me out to her place and forced me to go sit in the loft." A faraway look came into those blue eyes. "I didn't know why, but I was terrified of going up there. I didn't understand…but I've never been able to say no to that woman."

A small smile formed on Lilly's lips at the thought of anyone trying to say no to Mamaw. It just didn't happen. That woman was a force of nature.

"I was just sitting there, cross-legged, taking in the warm sun and the smell of the hay. I'd decided to close my eyes and I laid back in the straw," Miley whimpered softly. "When I opened them…you were there; or, at least, the ghost of a ten year old you. You didn't say anything, just leaned down toward me until…until my head exploded with pain and I passed out."

Lilly wanted to take those shaking shoulders in her arms and draw the beautiful, desperate girl into her embrace, but she forced herself to simply lean against the lockers as Miley continued to speak.

"When I woke up, you were gone and I found that I'd thrown up all over myself," she laughed sadly. "Now I know why Mamaw told me to take the bottle of water with me. I rinsed my mouth out and spat out the window…" her blue eyes took on a shine and a sparkle that Lilly hadn't seen in years. "I don't know how it happened, but all of a sudden I couldn't stop smiling. Before I knew it one memory after another came crashing through."

A smile that might have been a small percentage of the one she was talking about lit Miley's features. "Do you remember when we were in first grade and my mom and I came over to your mom's shop to get our hair styled? I got mine done first, just a bit of a trim," she said as she played with the tips of her hair, "so that we could play upstairs while your mom did my mom's hair. You were still living in the apartment above the shop back then. We used your mom's curling iron to try to curl my hair, but we forgot to turn it on so it didn't do much of anything."

"I didn't forget to turn it on," Lilly whispered softly. "I knew it had to be plugged in to work. My mom's a hairdresser so of course I knew, but I figured that I'd probably burn you if I actually turned it on. Besides, that way I could play with your hair longer," she smiled sheepishly.

"And the first time you came over to ride with me on Blue Jeans just after my dad bought him? Now I know why he took to you so well that day. He remembered you even after all those years."

"Sorry…" Lilly gulped, wondering how she could tell her that she'd lied by omission, but Miley saved her.

"No, it's not your fault," Miley replied quickly with a shake of her head that set her brown curls floating around her face like a curtain. "And the time, back in kindergarten when I was getting bullied by some boy on the playground?"

"Jake Ryan," Lilly offered softly.

"You came over and protected me by pushing the boy down in the dirt. I think…I think that's the day I first started to fall in love with you."

All Lilly could do was hold her breath and pray.

"You were always there for me, Lilly, no matter what. We fought every so often, but we just couldn't stay away from each other. I can't tell you how good it made me feel knowing that I could always count on you. You were my very best friend…and more. There are so many memories that I have now. But the first one that came to me, the one that started the whole thing, was one from that very hayloft at Mamaw's place when we were ten." She sucked in a sudden, quiet sob. "It-it was…it was that day," Miley sniffed again.

"I remember the two of us, up in that loft. We'd been playing all day long. Mama had gone upstairs to take a nap to try to get rid of a headache shortly after you arrived so we played outside for hours. It was the best day."

Lilly could hear Miley's desperate attempt to talk over the sobs that were trying to escape like the tears that were tracing down her cheek. She wanted to just take the girl in her arms and hold her, but she knew that Miley needed this. She needed to get it out.

"We were all sweaty from running around in the cornfield and decided to cool off in the hayloft. You climbed up the ladder ahead of me and threw a handful of hay down on top me as I followed you up those last steps. I said I'd get you for that and as soon as I got up the ladder I rushed you and tackled you into the hay. You were shrieking with laughter, and then you flipped me over so that you were on top. Your green eyes were bright and shining and your blonde hair flowing over your shoulders with bits of hay stuck in it. Your smile was just so…

"Lilly, you were the most beautiful creature I'd ever seen in my life," Miley wept, covering her face with her hands.

Again Lilly wanted to take her in her arms, but instead dropped her backpack and jacket and hugged her own waist to keep her hands to herself.

"I just couldn't stop myself. I loved you so much. I told you I loved you. Then I…I leaned up and…and I kissed you!" Miley sobbed.

"And I kissed you back," Lilly whispered, her own emotions from that time sweeping over her as real and as strong as if they'd happened just minutes before rather than seven years ago. "But I never got the chance to tell you I loved you, too."

"We heard the sirens from the ambulance and I pushed you away and just started running, leaving you behind," Miley nodded, crying softly. "I know now it was stupid, but I was so sure that Mama had died because I'd fallen in love with another girl…and that I'd kissed her. That was why Mama died. It was all my fault."

The tears falling from those blue eyes were a never ending stream and Lilly finally gave up and took the love of her life in her arms as Miley wept, crushing her in a hug so tight it left her breathless.

"I just knew Mama had died because I'd fallen in love with you, Lils," Miley wept. "I couldn't accept that kind of responsibility. If I'd never loved you…if I'd never met you…if I hadn't kissed you…I was so sure that Mama would still be alive if none of that had happened. So my mind did the only thing it could do…it it took all my memories of you and locked them away! It was as if you'd never been in my life!"

"I sat on Mamaw's porch for three days," Lilly wept. "All I wanted was to see you. To talk to you. To comfort you. Mamaw kept me warm and fed me, but I refused to leave. Even my mom tried to get me to come home and I threw a fit until Momma let me stay under Mamaw's care. But three days of you refusing to see me I finally got the message," she sobbed. "Despite the kiss, despite what you told me that day, you didn't want me anymore," Lilly cried her own tears, their combined sobs echoing down the otherwise silent corridors. "I couldn't even go to the funeral!"

"I'm sorry," Miley cried into Lilly's shoulder. "I am so sorry, Lils."

The two girls held onto each other, crying their eyes out, for a few more minutes before they started getting their emotions back under control.

"Can I say it again, now?" Miley asked softly, her words barely audible.

"You can say whatever you want," Lilly replied with a gentle smile.

"Then I'll repeat what I said seven years ago," Miley grinned. "Lillian Truscott…I love you. I always have and I always will. Will you…will you be my girlfriend?"

Epilogue

Friday, August 20, 2010

"So, Hannah, what brings you back to the show," Jay Leno asked with his patented smirking smile, although a lot of confusion was showing as well in that long-jawed expression. "I have to admit, this is the first time I've ever had the same guest on the show twice in one week."

Jay's confusion was completely justified since he'd only heard about Hannah's surprise appearance right after he finished his monologue and they'd gone to commercial break. His normal Friday schedule would have been to go directly into the Headlines shtick as soon as he came out of the break, but his Executive Producer, Debbie Vickers, had informed him over the intercom that he had a surprise guest and that the Headlines portion of the show, unless something happened over the weekend, would be shifted to Monday night.

"What do you mean a surprise guest, Deb?" he'd demanded. "This isn't the way we do things."

"Jay," Debbie had tried to calmly talk to him over the intercom since not only all of the cameramen and grips could hear them, but the entire audience as well, "look over to your left."

When he had done so he'd seen a young blonde girl with a sheepish smile waving at him.

"Holy sh…"

"Jay! Watch your language. You're miked," his Executive Producer had admonished him before he created an incident that would hit the morning tabloids.

"What the…heck…is she doing here? She was just here on Tuesday. Why should I…"

"I know Jay, but…Jay…look in her eyes and tell me that you don't want her on the show Right. Now!"

Jay Leno had first appeared on The Tonight Show Starring Johnny Carson in 1977 when the old host had given him his very first real television break as a standup comedian. He became more of a fixture on the show in 1987 when he started guest hosting whenever Johnny took time off. He took over the show as its new, official host in 1992. In his over twenty-five year history of hosting the show, he'd never once gotten the feeling that he had now.

From the look in the teen's eyes, whatever Hannah had to say would be huge!

"All right Deb. I get it. But if we end up having to bump Kathie Lee, you get to be the one to tell her! That woman scares the bejeezus out of me. I don't know how Regis ever handled her."

"What makes you think he did?" Debbie laughed.

"Well, you kinda still haven't," Hannah replied somewhat embarrassedly in answer to Jay's original question. "You see, I'm not the same person I was on Tuesday."

"Oh, sure you're not," Jay said quickly while rolling his eyes and mumbling, "cuckoo," under his breath.

"Maybe it'd be easier this way," the young girl grinned nervously as she stood to move to the center of the stage where her backup band awaited her.

"Debbie," Jay whispered into his lapel mike.

"Just wait," Debbie replied into his earpiece.

Hannah gripped the microphone stand tightly.

"I wrote this song just a little while ago," she told the audience. "It's about an eleven year old girl that wanted to be a famous rock star. But she also wanted to be able to enjoy a normal childhood as well. So she created a character, a persona if you will, that she could wear when she performed and take off when she just wanted to be herself." The audience sat silently, listening intently to every word she said.

"It was great for a little while, but that little girl's seventeen now, and she's gonna be starting college in just a few days. Life's been really great for her for the past eight years," Hannah turned to look over into the wings and gave the girl standing there a wide grin. "But it's getting a bit more complicated these days, and she just doesn't want to hide anymore." She turned to look first at an absolutely stunned Jay Leno, and then back out at the audience.

"As you can probably guess by now, the character that little girl created goes by the name of Hannah Montana," she smiled softly as she slowly reached up to gently take hold of her hair.

-oo-

"She's really gonna do it," Lilly whispered in awe.

"Yup, Lils, she's really gonna do it," Robbie Ray smiled as the two of them watched his daughter from the wings.

"And the name of that little girl," Hannah said as she pulled off her wig and shook out her long, wavy brown hair, "is Miley Stewart."

As soon as the long blonde wig came off, so did Robbie's mustache.

Lilly had only been wearing the short, pink haired wig she'd gotten as a gag gift from her mother on her seventeenth birthday for a little over a year, but she'd gotten kind of attached to the character of Lola Luftnagle. Lola and Hannah had had some very fun times doing things that Miley and Lilly would never have considered.

But tonight, Miley was doing something that Hannah would have never considered. Lily pulled the pink wig slowly off her blonde hair, feeling almost as nostalgic as Miley did, even if not anywhere near as frightened of the changes that would be coming. There were some she was actually looking forward to.

"Anyway," Miley grinned and shook the wig in her hand, "it's been a long time since I've sung without my friend here, so…I hope you like it."

I always knew this day would come

We'd be standing one by one

With our future in our hands

So many dreams so many plans

I always knew after all these years

There'd be laughter there'd be tears

But never thought that I'd walk away

With so much joy but so much pain

And it's so hard to say goodbye

They'd talked a lot about which song she was going to sing after the great reveal. Lilly had opted for "Wherever I Go" while Robbie and Jackson had voted for either "The Other Side of Me" or her theme song, "Best of Both Worlds" now that their true meaning would become clear. Miley had smiled at all of them but kept silent about what her final choice was going to be.

Lilly smiled, even as a slow trickle of tears fell. Leave it to Miley to choose the best song for the situation. "I'll Always Remember You" said so much about the brunette's relationship with her blonde pop star alter ego. But Miley also knew it was a song with special meaning to her girlfriend of a little more than a year.

Robbie reached over to take hold of Lilly's right hand, probably so that she wouldn't keep wringing the poor wig like a wet dishrag.

Another chapter in the book can't go back but you can look

And there we are on every page

Memories I'll always save

Up ahead only open doors

Who knows what we're heading towards

I wish you love I wish you luck

For you the world just opens up

But it's so hard to say goodbye

Miley looked over at her with a meaningful smile and patted her heart. It had become her little signal to Lilly to let her know that she was thinking about her and how much she loved her. Lilly mirrored the gesture back and Miley's smile grew even wider.

"I guess freshman orientation at UTK is going to be a little different after this," Robbie chuckled.

"Ya think!" Lilly laughed. "At least we'll be rooming together. Miley won't have to worry about some crazed fangirl sleeping next to her every night."

"Nah, just a sex crazed girlfriend," Robbie smirked. The remark earned him a swat to the arm. "Really, I feel for the other girls on your floor," he chuckled again. "I've heard you two out in the barn. I'm not sure which of you is louder, and I don't mean snoring."

"You're just jealous," Lilly grinned evilly. Miley's father just shrugged, knowing he had no way to argue that kind of logic. Yet.

Yesterday's gone we gotta keep moving on

I'm so thankful for the moments so glad I got to know ya

The times that we had I'll keep like a photograph

And hold you in my heart forever

I'll always remember you

"So what's next after this?" Jay asked long after Miley had returned to her seat next to his desk. Kathie Lee Gifford, as well Chris Tucker, ended up being bumped to some future show as the host and his surprise guest spent the next half hour talking about Miley's real life in Crowley Corners and Malibu and what it was like to juggle a relatively normal home life with that of a superstar.

"Actually, and not to put in a plug for another show, but from here we're going over to the Warner Brothers studio to do Ellen's show," Miley smiled widely, glancing over into the wings and winking at her girlfriend.

Lilly didn't know what song Miley would be singing on The Ellen DeGeneres show either. All her girlfriend would tell her was that it was a new song she'd written called "When I Look At You." The way she'd looked at Lilly when she'd told her the title had sent a shiver of yearning down the blonde's spine.

"Don't tell me you'll be revealing something else? I don't know if our hearts can handle anything more," Jay moaned.

"You'll just have to watch and see, Jay," Miley Stewart, formerly Hannah Montana, smiled happily.

A/N: My humble thanks to everyone that read and commented, followed, and faved this story. I hope you enjoyed it. Please feel free to leave me a message and let me know what you thought. I love hearing from you.

Thanks again and take care of yourselves,

CX