So this is just something that i wanted to write after watching "I Do" yesterday, cause i feel that when it comes to Klaine break up, everyone is blaming Blaine and I'm like yea, it's his fault but still, now kurts just playin games and blaine still loves him, and its irritatin just how much blaine is willing to give without ever getting anything back i mean yest it was clear that kurt just wanted sex -or wants to make believe so- all the while blainers wanted to be the one getting married and to him.
so yea, its a OS i guess but if for some miracle people read and want a continuation, i wouldnt mind writin it (:

That's it, i don't own a thing aaand i highly recommend reading while listening to glee's version of 'somewhere only we know', i did while writing -xo,kat.

Sex. That's all it was for Kurt, a simple one night stand and he was left to feel the regret and the guilt of it all.
He felt used, he felt as if the world had played an awful joke to him and he was to blame.
So he took a pen, and he opened a copybook and started writing.

"What do you expect from me?
I failed you, I know I did in the worst way I could ever betray you... and oh god don't I regret it! I was in the wrong, but even if I know so, I can still understand what happened to me that night; can you tell me you don't? cause that would be an awful lie given the situation we put ourselves in just yesterday. You said you were dating someone else back in New York, and still you threw that away for a night with me.
So yes, you must very well understand what happened to me, I missed you, and I was losing my mind over the fact that you were so far away, meeting new and interesting men every single day, just a while after the episode in which we fought because you were receiving private messages that were almost sexting with this guy, what's his name? I don't even remember anymore... it seems so stupid and insignificant now...
So yes, I made a mistake -a huge one-, but I never stopped loving you.
I remember that night, I was trying to imagine that the one with me was you, that it wasn't happening, that you hadn't abandoned me, that you still loved me even when it didn't seem so. I was broken, and needy. You still don't understand, Kurt? I needed you, I needed someone to turn to when my parents were being especially difficult, I needed someone to trust, someone to rely on... I needed that place that only we knew, that place that doesn't even exist anymore because it was our place, remember? the place that only we knew? I know it's stupid, it was just a sheet fort, but it felt safe when it was you and me. I know this could be the end of everything, because I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin again. I know it's cheesy that I'm almost using one of our songs, but that's exactly how I've been feeling all this time, I just needed you to give me a minute, just one minute for me
You said you were never going to say goodbye to me, but it seems that that's exactly what you intend to do, you say you still love me, and then you play games. Because yes, I made a mistake, a terrible one, but I never meant to play with your feelings, I never did on purpose... you might be the love of my life, but I cannot continue this game. You come, you take and then you leave me here, always trying to find a way to grab at least one tiny bit of what we were, but you won't let me. You say we are friends, and I agree because I would take whatever you threw at me in order to keep you near; but not anymore.
This hurts me more than it will ever hurt you, because I'm the one who's still trying to get you back while you go and take what you want, just to throw it back at me when you're finished; but not anymore.
I'll miss you all my life, you're the love of my life, but I need to learn how to live by myself... I depend on someone who doesn't want to keep me. Not anymore.
I miss you already, please never forget me, I love you.
I'll miss your hugs, I'll miss your voice, and I'll miss your heart, as well as mine that stays and will always stay with you.
So I'll go to that place that only we know by myself, and I'll try and remember every single minute we spent together, and I'll regret what I did the rest of my life; and I'll say the words you've been wanting to say this whole time: goodbye, I love you."

Blaine ripped the page and kissed it once, twice. He knew this was it, Kurt was not going to try and reach him again, because that was exactly what he was asking him to do, was it?
No, it was a test: he wanted Kurt to come back, to answer and say that it was all a misunderstanding... but that's not what comes after this kind of letter. Now he was about to start a new lifestyle, he was about to send this letter and then he'd have to learn how to live without his soulmate, this time for real.
Was he?