A/N: I'm deciding that I'm going to keep this to a minimum rather than go on a lengthy story about how I came about falling in love with the idea of TyZula. Instead, I'll keep it short and sweet- this is my first actual Avatar: The Last Airbender fanfiction, and I'm actually a little happy about it. Surprise, surprise. That aside, I hope you enjoy it as I do. :3

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Remember

You can still remember the first time you saw her.

Her aura was grey, greyer than any sky you'd seen in your life, whirling with emotions and things that tore you apart just looking into the abyss of her soul. You could sense her sadness, even through angered gazes and flaming hands that mark their decisions with burns. But, still, you could sense something else, something more- a kindness that had not yet been killed in the wake of a father's bitter actions toward a daughter he'd pushed too hard to be perfect. You could sense it, and you knew it was there, buried under the burdens of life.

It is that which drew you to her. Not the power. Anyone could have power. Anyone could destroy someone with a simple action or word. But that underlying feeling you got when you see her... That is what made you crave to speak to her for the first time.

••••••••••••••••••••

You can remember the first time you said those words- those damnable strings of letters that strung together and spoke of things you weren't yet ready to tell.

Your own aura had been weak, beaten down by never feeling quite good enough for the laughter you both share, afraid of what your racing heart meant in the long run. You know you've been carrying hues of blues around you like you have been given a boulder twice the size of Ba Sing Se, and expected to carry it to the homeland without aid. Still, you remember the way she looked at you, sensing the turmoil inside, gentleness in her gaze that rarely any other saw. She held your hand. She coaxed the truth from your lips without you even realizing you'd done so.

You never expected her to kiss you. The never expected her lips to be so soft, so forgiving of things you knew you'd done. You worried her. You hurt her. And yet her lips still moved against yours, yearning for something, needing it more than the fire that burns at the tips of her fingers or the blood in her veins.

You did expect her to slap you, which she promptly does as she pulls away- and you can sense her aura is filled with a mixture of colors as she stares at you. Your cheek stings, but it means little because she's caught between two thoughts- and you can see it in her mind, churning.

It's the fear that wins. She turns her back on you, angry at things you've done nothing and yet everything for, and demands you out of her presence.

You remember packing your bags because, after coming so close, you know it'll hurt more for her to come back and pretend it meant nothing. Not when it had meant everything to you.

••••••••••••••••••••••••

You never expected to see her again, standing so close to you behind the back tent.

There's a chill in the air around her, one you never noticed before- but in the year since you'd last spoke, you can already see so many differences. She carries herself more as a leader, and the furrow in her brow seems more to be permanent than it ever had before.

You try not to notice that, as you lie about how pink your own aura is, you can sense the red in hers. It's red, hot, and it's burning brightly with things you just want to ignore- so you do, because its easier than to see it as clear as the day itself.

You know when you deny her that she'll make you say yes anyway. After all, even when you became friends all those years ago, you never really could tell her no. Sure, you put up a fight, but you'd already begun questioning yourself by the time the stage master had lit the net on fire below you. And even as you come back to her after the show, fear of the woman pushing you to accept her offer of travel, you know you would have anyway.

Because you always seem to come back to her.

And even as you pushed yourself to forget about those feelings, they return- slowly at first- to haunt you as you leave the life you made when you left the life you loved the time before.

•••••••••••••••••

You laugh more than you used to.

A part of you thinks its because you don't want her to see it, although a bitter part of you doesn't think she would even if you had the words burned on your forehead. She's focused, determined to get her father's approval- undermining her of family who just wants the same. But still you laugh. You joke. You play. Because while you fear the woman she became, you can't turn your back on her like she had to you.

You fear losing her more than you fear her.

Still, even as both you and Mai do the work you were pulled in to do, it's never enough. Yet you still try, you still force yourself to work hard and try to appease her- but it's impossible, and you know it is so long as her father remains unhappy.

You hate him. He is your Lord, and if he knew, he'd make sure to kill you, but you hate him for what he did to her. He changed her.

And yet, even as you take the time to love her in secret, you can't keep yourself from ignoring just how red her aura is. And it kills you.

Because you can still sense the blue underneath all of her red.

And you just wish you could destroy the world, as well as all the things that make her so angry... so sad.

••••••••••••••••••

It breaks you apart to do it.

She's lashing out, and she means to kill Mai- and were you not a different person, had you not understood the price your friend was willing to pay if it meant saving the person she loves, you wouldn't have done it. Even as she falls, the points you push causing her to lose function in her legs just in time for the others to leave, you can see just for a moment the blue overpower the red.

And, just like that, the blue disappears entirely, and her aura is exploding in a vibrant, angry red.

You don't even fight back when the guards grab both yourself and your friend. You let her demand your incarceration. You let them drag you to your cell, and never once did you speak- because you realized that the happiness you felt from being close to her wasn't enough to keep yourself from the sorrow you knew you'd wind up feeling.

It still kills you.

And you know, as they take you to that lonely four walled Hell you'd originally come to help, that the girl you remember seeing for the first time all those years ago is no longer the woman standing in front of you- she's changed, and it kills you more than anything else could.