Minerva's Evil Cookbook

Recipe 8: Rabbit Cacciatore

WARNING: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR IDIOT PEOPLE WHO TRY THIS!

"Why my lady, we are so glad that you are finally out of your prison. It is a pleasure to have you back in our guild," said Rufus covering up for all the sweating people in the background. She was back. THE DEMON WAS BAAACK!

"Why thank you Rufus. Please go and get me train tickets now to Magnolia. I have some...business there," said Minerva with a mild expression of excitement in her face. Rufus looked at her confused.

"Very well. But what business do you have with Magnolia? Are you going to try to poison the fairies again? You know it won't be easy."

"Oh, please," waved Minerva. "I won't try something like that yet but I have another reason." She grinned evilly. "I got some information from when I was in the prison cells. It was only a rumor but I'm here to see if it was true. If it's true, then the black mage will have rabbit for dinner tonight?" She cackled evilly out of the room.

"Zeref?" thought a bunch of people in the room but they didn't dare say it out loud. It was a stupid idea. Why would the black mage even be in Magnolia? Besides, rumors were usually not true concerning the black mage so they just dismissed it as another evil mage. But seriously, they really hoped that Minerva wouldn't be joining dark guilds...

Minerva continued to chuckle as she walked into her beloved kitchen. Time to cook a very nice recipe. Rabbit Cacciatore. She had hunted a very good rabbit and got a bunch of top quality spices. After all, black mages only ate top quality right?

Her hands cupped around her face and she grinned evilly as she stared at the ingredients below her. An evil laugh arose from her. "Let the cooking begin!"

The ingredients needed are:

One 2 1/4 lb rabbit, cut into 6 to 8 pieces

Salt and freshly ground pepper

3 Tbsp fresh Castor Bean Plant

1 teaspoon fresh rosemary leaves (or 1/2 teaspoon dried)

1/4 cup all-purpose flour

2 Tbsp squid ink oil

3 cups chopped Squirrel meat

2 cloves garlic, minced Angel Trumpet

2/3 cup chopped Amazon mushrooms

3 cups of chopped, very ripe deviled tomatoes or canned

10 red bell peppers, seeded, cut into 1-inch cubes

1 bay leaf

16 salt-cured olives, black or green, pitted

Directions:

1. Sprinkle the rabbit pieces with salt and pepper. Rub half of the Castor Bean plant leaves into pieces and sprinkle with flour to lightly coat. Heat the Squid ink oil in a large skillet on medium high. Place the rabbit pieces in the pan in a single layer. Feel free to stir.

for 2-3 minutes on one side until lightly browned, then turn the pieces and brown on the other side for a minute or two more. Remove the pieces to a dish to set beside. The rabbit should looked charred due to the bad chemistry with the Castor bean plant. No worries, it'll still be delicious...^^

3. Reduce the heat to medium. Add all the chopped squirrel meat, bell pepper, and Amazon mushrooms, cook for a couple minutes more. Add the rosemary and remaining castor bean plant. Add the rabbit back to the pan. Cover with chopped devilled tomatoes and bay leaf. Turn heat to high. Cover the pan and cook for 35min.

4. Uncover the pan, throw in some water and add the olives. Decrease the heat to low and cook for several minutes to let the water sink in and spread the taste. Add some Angel Trumpet and tear it into pieces with a spoon. When the liquid is half filled, check the seasoning, add salt or pepper to taste, remove from heat and serve.

You can add some rice, pasta or potatoes if the rabbit's not enough for you.

"I...am curious! How could I cook something so delicious," wondered Minerva savoring the smell. She placed the food in a pot, covered the lid and placed it in a box. "Sting and Rogue!"

"Yes m'am! You called?" they both yelled heads bowed before her greatness. They dared not to peek at her evil face.

"Lend me your cats. I need their flight service."

"Um, m'am, Lector and Frosh are exceed and their wings are from magic so they aren't-"

"Sting. Do you want to die- Oh my bad, do you want to be laid to rest after 3 long days with me in the kitchen? You can be my guinea pig for ingredients you know..."

"No m'am. I'm happy to simply serve me," gulped Sting.

"Well...what are you waiting for? Call those cats here now! The dark mage isn't going to wait all day!" scowled Minerva waving her hands for Sting and Rogue to leave. Lector and Frosh arrived soon later wearing masks covering their mouth. "Hmph, take me to Magnolia!"

"Yes m'am."

Unknown to Minerva, Sting and Rogue snuck onto a train leading to Magnolia to see what actually would happen. People whispered around her as Minerva landed gracefully holding the box with Rabbit Cacciatore. After walking through several difficult alleyways with Sting and Rogue stalking her, she entered a small room with a cloaked person sitting in the corner.

He looked up at her. "..."

"..."

He stood up. She smirked.

And Zeref ran for his life as Minerva chased him around town STILL holding onto the box. Meanwhile Zeref's head was working fast.

Person Unknown.

Item dangerous.

Radiating weird smells and presence..She must be..

AN ALIEN!

"YOU ARE GOING TO EAT MY FOOD TODAY DARK MAGE! IT'S FILLED WITH LOVE!~~~"

More like hatred thought Sting and Rogue.

"We have to do something," said Sting. Rogue nodded.

"If we don't, Minerva will get Sabertooth disbanded! recipes/rabbit_cacciatore/ was the original recipe but Minerva's completely changed it!"

"Like, most of the ingredient proportions are wrong! She's added too many ingredients. And why would you let something sit in high heat?" complained Sting.

Lector started reciting the bible of poisonous ingredients.

"Castor-bean plants can be purchased at just about any garden center, despite containing the deadly poison ricin. Concerned gardeners can simply pluck the seeds off the plant. Though the process to extract enough ricin and process it into a weapon is complex, authorities have discovered the toxin in many places."

Frosh continued.

"Angel Trumpet: Brugmansia. The droopy, gorgeous angel trumpet, native to regions of South America, packs a powerful punch of toxins, containing atropine, hyoscyamine, and scopolamine. As documented criminals have extracted scopolamine from the plant and used it as a potent drug that leaves victims unaware of what they are doing but entirely conscious. Scopolamine can be absorbed through the skin and mucous membranes, allowing criminals to simply blow the powder in a person's face."

"You know, I don't think that guy was actually Zeref, zeref would never run away. He'd probably kill her...plus it was a kid! Isn't Zeref supposed to be some old man?" said Sting.

"You never know Sting..." muttered Rogue.

Sting smirked. "I guess..it's my time to shine!" Rogue's eyes widened.

"Sting what are you-"

Sting leaped forward a huge stride and landed in between Zeref who was being cornered by Minerva who had taken out the pot and a spoon. Sting held his hands forward and said-

"Minerva stop this at-"

-and had a spoonful of Rabbit Cacciatore shoved into his face.

"Miuhaosihdfabsiughaiosfhabgiasdo;fasdf" He choked and gagged falling to the ground. Zeref quickly escaped without even saying thank you. *cue sad face*

"Oh Sting, what the hell are you doing?" sighed Minerva. "I guess you really want to be my test subject don't you..."

Sting continued to writhe on the ground and stopped moving. Lector landed beside him and tapped his paws on stings neck. He paled. "I...I can't feel his heartbeat!"

"Are you sure?" asked Minerva. "Let me check."

"Hey Rogue," said Frosh.

"Hm?"

"I forgot to say this earlier...but Angel's Trumpet changes the brain of the person who consumes it. And he even died for a bit. Which means..."

Sting suddenly shot up and grabbed Lector and flung him across the street. He swayed in his steps swinging right to left over and over again.

"%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%" he yelled.

"...Sting is now a Zombie."

And it's the end! Lol, there will be another chapter Or more...And isn't this cliffhanger such a cliché? XD