connected hearts
chapter I: illuminate

Four years on and yet the memories still weighed heavily in her mind. And not just the memories of that day, but also those of everyone she had loved and lost. The unspeakable sadness and pain and terror in her past would've been enough to break anyone, but Tifa would never allow herself to break. There were people who relied on her so she had to be strong for their sake — and her own.

But every year, on Meteorfall's anniversary, she couldn't help but remember everyone and everything from her past and it overwhelmed her, tore at her heart, fractured her spirit just that little bit more. Tifa could hold herself together, but days like this make it harder to hope.

She was kneeling at the window of her bedroom, chewing her lip in thought. The sky was only just lightening with the first rays of the morning's sunlight. It was a long moment before she took up the candle at her side and lit it with a match. The flame rose steadily, illuminating the room in warm light.

Can you hear me?

Tifa was thinking of everyone she had lost.

I miss you.

Memories of her family came to mind: her father's serious face yet kind smile, the smell of her mother's perfume. Then, she thought of her AVALANCHE friends: Jessie's warm laughter, Biggs' contagious grin, Wedge's sincere spirit. And then, of course, she remembered Aerith, the flower girl, who had sacrificed so much for the Planet and received so little in return. Tifa's eyes prickled with the beginnings of tears, but she fiercely held them back.

The candle's flame flickered slightly as the door to the bedroom was opened. Heavy footsteps soon followed, approaching her. Tifa turned to look at Cloud, watching silently as he came to stand beside her. She passed him the other candle that she had set aside earlier, knowing that he would've wanted to light it himself, and he took it with a slight nod of thanks. In that moment, she didn't doubt that he was remembering the dark-haired man with sky-blue eyes and that goofy grin. Zack, who she had known only briefly, but to whom she was indebted to for saving Cloud's life so long ago.

The match seemed to tremble between his gloved fingers as he lit the wick and placed his candle beside Tifa's. When he stood back, he said nothing. She studied his face intently, though there was nothing to be read in his blue-green eyes, dancing with the light of the yellow-orange flames, except for an aching sadness that echoed what she felt in her own heart. Doing this had never gotten easier, even after so many years.

"The children are still sleeping," Tifa murmured, gently touching his arm, "but you should go in before you leave."

He glanced at her, nodding, though there was something else in his expression that she understood. Even though she had suspected it when she woke that morning, Tifa could see it in his gaze now that this time when he left, he planned to be away from 7th Heaven for longer than usual. She squeezed his arm reassuringly. The memories of all that they had lost were hard, and sometimes, though he loved her and Marlene and Denzel, Cloud still needed to leave them every once in a while to be on his own. But Tifa trusted him to return. It would never be like the time of geostigma again.

Cloud reached for Tifa's hand, clasping her fingers in his own. They looked at each other with small smiles, before heading towards the children's bedroom and leaving the candles to burn on the windowsill.

Marlene and Denzel were still asleep when Cloud and Tifa entered their room. The blonde swordsman crouched down at Denzel's bed first, running an affectionate hand through the boy's unruly hair.

Denzel stirred, blinking several times and yawning before fully opening his eyes. "You're leaving already, Cloud?" he asked slowly, voice thick with sleep.

Cloud nodded regretfully. "I'll be back as soon as I can. Take care of Tifa and Marlene while I'm gone, okay?"

"Okay. See you soon, Cloud."

Tifa was seated at the edge of Marlene's bed, stroking the girl's hair until she woke. Cloud came over, smiling as the eight-year old wordlessly stretched her skinny arms out towards him.

"Don't speed," Marlene mumbled sleepily as he gathered her in a hug. "And watch out for chocobos that could be crossing the road. And remember to rest if you're tired."

"I got it, Marlene." Cloud's smile widened. She kissed his cheek before pulling away, curling back under the covers again.

With his goodbyes to the children done, he stood with Tifa and followed her to the door, glancing back one last time before heading downstairs. Tifa was standing at the bar's entrance, staring out at the street. A group of laughing street kids ran past as Cloud joined her, their hands intertwining automatically. He turned towards her, noting the sadness in her eyes as she met his gaze.

"Be safe," Tifa said as they stood facing each other in the doorway. "And come home soon."

Cloud gave her a tiny, sad smile. "I won't be gone long," he answered, circling his arms tightly around her middle.

Tifa sighed, pressing her face into his shoulder. She closed her eyes, committing this moment to memory. Goodbyes would never be easy.

With a final squeeze, Cloud released her and she let him go, her eyes following him as he loaded Fenrir with his gear before climbing on. He didn't look back as he lowered his goggles into place and started the engine, and in a matter of seconds he was halfway down the street and disappearing around the corner.

Tifa lingered in the doorway until the sound of Fenrir's engine faded into silence before she turned back into the bar. She crossed the floor, headed up the stairs, and went into the children's room once more. Marlene immediately scooted over on her mattress. Tifa pulled off her shoes and slid into bed beside the girl, smiling warmly as she felt Denzel join them to snuggle in on her other side. This wasn't the most comfortable position, as the children were both growing too big to share a bed like this, but Tifa still tucked them tighter against her, drawing her arms around their shoulders. Their legs wound together under the covers. She kissed both her son and daughter on the head, and then allowed herself to be lulled back to sleep by sound of their combined breathing and their body warmth.

Cloud would be gone at least a week, doing a few deliveries but mostly visiting places of the past. He would undoubtedly visit all their friends from AVALANCHE days, wherever they were, and probably go and see Elmyra, as well — maybe travel to the Forgotten City with her. Even a stopover at Nibelheim was a possibility, despite the painful memories that lingered there. And then he would spend a few nights in the church, tending as best as he could to the flowers and polishing the Buster Sword, before returning to Edge — and his family.

Until then, Tifa would wait.

A/N: YES, I LIVE! super-duper-big-mega apologies go out to all of my readers who have to put up with me! I know I've been dead for the longest time, but I think I'm finally getting my muse back. if you haven't read the note on my profile, I decided to delete For Eternity and do a sort-of reboot of the whole idea, so this is where Connected Hearts comes from. Strife family feels are the best kind of feels! this is going to be a project very similar to FE; Cloud/Tifa will be the pairing focus but Denzel and Marlene are going have equally important roles. all the chapters will be oneshots and not AU. I wasn't planning on uploading this so soon but it's Valentine's Day so why not? :)

about this particular oneshot, I just kinda randomly wrote it while I was in bed. in my head it takes place a year after DoC, but don't ask me where Shelke is in this. I think even after everything, Cloud is the kind of person who still needs that break every now and then to dwell in the past, and Tifa understands that. I hope you enjoyed it~

even though I'm in my final year of schooling which means lots of exams and assessments and stuff, I'll hopefully still be able to update this story regularly! please review to let me know what you think or if you have something to say! and thank you thank you thank you so much for reading! — ridia