Annie heard Jeff pacing around the apartment, but couldn't look at him. Yet his recent confession obviously made them both jumpy. Neither of them wanted to be the first to follow up, for obvious reasons.

Annie knew that the grown up thing to do was to face this, instead of letting another moment get swept under the rug. But if she opened that Pandora's box, who knows how she might get carried away? And if Jeff didn't want to face something this big, it would be useless to keep pushing him. Or risk him lashing out yet again when he was cornered.

She told herself she wouldn't risk that again. She told herself it wasn't worth it, especially for something that wasn't real. She wouldn't let herself forget to know better yet again. She –

But then she finally took a look at him.

Jeff was on his couch, his face buried into his hands. If he was hiding his face from view, he must have been a real wreck. And he had a right to be.

What Jeff had revealed must have been huge for him. To even feel it at all was huge for him. For someone who rejected marriage, love and other sappy things for over 25 years, this was a huge, scary step.

Of course he didn't know what to do about it. Of course it would have made him scared. Of course it made him keep his distance. And of course he'd go back to his old self when he faced scary things. Just like Annie had done.

Now it was Annie who felt like a jerk. Here she was, thinking only of herself, her own character and what she was going through. She never considered what Jeff was going through – although he'd done a very good job convincing her he felt nothing. He did it at the convention, and he did it after nearly every emotional moment between them for three years.

But Annie did know he was no longer that guy deep down. Just like she wasn't that girl she'd been years ago either. Yet they both tended to turn into their old selves in challenging moments.

However, if Jeff really wanted to do that here, he would have pushed Annie away by now. Yet he was staying quiet, wrestling with himself and perhaps considering opening up to her.

Well, he wouldn't open up to a childish, selfish Annie. She wouldn't let him.

What he needed now was a friend who'd listen to him, try to understand him and not let him go through this turning point alone. Annie knew what it was like to want that and not get it most of the time. But now that Jeff was ready for it, she wouldn't let him down.

She sat next to Jeff, making sure her sympathetic look wasn't a Disney look. When she was ready, she put her hand on his wrist to get his attention.

"Jeff, it's okay. You can say whatever you want. Or not," Annie assured. "Don't say or not say anything just to make me happy. Your happiness counts too."

Jeff lifted his face up, so that was a good sign. At least until Annie saw the lost look in his eyes.

"You shouldn't be that generous to me," he started. "The only reason you get carried away is because I don't tell you things. I know you hate uncertainty, and I let you go through it anyway. If you knew that….this isn't one-sided, you wouldn't feel like a child."

Despite those implications, Annie made herself relax and say, "I've still been childish anyway. Maybe we both have."

"That's not who you are. It's more like me than you," Jeff confessed. "Let's not single you out here. Not without the proper context."

Annie didn't ask out loud for that proper context. She just kept her hand on Jeff's wrist, hoping it would help him calm down. His face started to look steady again, although it didn't have its old impassive look on yet. Even when he looked at Annie again, he still looked fully engaged.

"Like I said, I imagined a happy married life with you for a second," Jeff started. "But that's too long for me to handle right away. That's why I needed time to myself. Or with other people. Women. Just time, nothing more," he quickly added.

Annie nodded, appreciating how Jeff clarified that right away. He continued, "I didn't get super drunk, so that was progress. Not like when I looked in my heart and kept seeing you before Shirley's…."

Jeff clammed up, clearly not comfortable with that level of honesty. "Right, that was too much too soon," he commented.

Once Annie figured out when Jeff might have looked in his heart, she wanted to ask more. Not following up on something like that was hard, especially for someone who craved clarity. Yet Jeff was already trying to give her that, and if she pressed him, it wouldn't help either of them.

"What else do you want to say?" Annie asked gently, making sure he knew it was still up to him.

"I've said everything there is to say about the convention. After that…." Jeff lost his voice again.

Annie hadn't had any awkward moments with Jeff after the convention, against all odds. She didn't see how she could have made things better or worse for him, but this wasn't all about her.

"I did a good job living with it. Until my not-Britta shrink got it out of me," Jeff revealed. "He's used to my anti-marriage and anti-relationship rants, so repeating them killed some time. Then he asked me to do an experiment."

"What kind of experiment?" Annie wondered.

"A real, honest to God psych experiment. Britta free and everything," Jeff bragged. This wasn't the time for Britta bashing – especially with a weaker joke than usual. But if Jeff needed old comforts before telling this story, Annie wouldn't interfere. She'd apologize to Britta in her head later.

"If I could ever marry anyone, he wanted to know who," Jeff explained. "He wanted me to describe all the qualities of my ideal wife. Not her name, not any physical stuff. Just personality details. He asked me to come up with them without even thinking."

Annie squeaked out an "Oh" and tried to stay impassive. She willed her brain to power down, which was difficult under normal circumstances. But Jeff paused long enough for Annie to get ready, so she could hear his list without making mental comparisons. To anyone.

"The first thing I figured out is I don't want her to be my mom," Jeff started.

"No one does. I know that much," Annie said in a deliberately light tone. "Trust me, moms aren't the best role models."

"It's not like that. That was the first surprise," Jeff said seriously. "My mom put up with my dad longer than she should have. Then she clung to me when he finally had enough of us. If I was going to marry someone, I don't want her to be passive or clingy. I don't want her to just serve me and take my abuse, either."

Annie cringed at Jeff's late choice of words, but he went on before she could protest. "She'd have to be someone tough. Someone who could call me out on my crap when I'm going too far. She'd know my limitations and try not to nag me too much. But she could still change me without me even knowing it."

"You'd want to change?" Annie asked.

"If I was married, I'd have changed already, right?" Jeff pointed out. "And if I was that far gone, I'd want to do it right. I'd want someone who wouldn't let me off the hook, but who wouldn't give up on me. Not because she's scared or timid or co-dependent. Because she's smart, independent, brave….and still choosesto believe in me."

Annie liked Mrs. Winger already. Jeff certainly made her look better than Annie Winger for certain. "Is that all?" Annie checked.

"Not yet," Jeff assured. "I had a few more things after that. Like how she has her own life and career, so she doesn't have to bug me all the time. She has a job that she loves, but she still notices me enough to see when something's wrong. And she makes me face it, even when I don't want to."

"You want that too? Future Jeff really has come a long way," Annie tried to tease.

"Don't remind him, he can hear your sarcasm. They have time travel stuff for that in the future. He won a big case about it," Jeff played along. He and Annie were relieved by their comic banter, yet she knew it was just temporary.

"And she can keep up with me, too," Jeff resumed. "She has a way with words, just like me. She can win debates honestly and by cheating, and she'll even let me win sometimes. I mean, if I'm spending that much time with a woman with our clothes on, I should at least want to talk to her."

"Wow, if past Jeff could hear you now," Annie chimed in.

"That's what I said," present Jeff revealed. "But this woman can't be one-night stand quality. She has to be more. She'd have to have so many layers to her that I've never get bored. Even if she was boring to other people, she'd have fun sides that no one else was smart enough to see. And it'd make me feel special for seeing it anyway."

He looked almost adorably embarrassed as he finished, "Let's face it. I don't want an airhead, Jeff worshipping sexpot for a wife. I kind of want…."

"An equal partner," Annie finished. Jeff looked awkward enough to confirm that she was right. "Awww, Britta would be so proud," Annie added.

"Which is why you'll swear a blood oath so she never finds out. For all of our sakes," Jeff insisted.

"I'll just swear an oath, thanks. I know how braggy she can get, so I don't need to give blood," Annie said. Jeff's silence indicated she was off the hook, and also made her ask, "So is that all?"

"She has to be a survivor," Jeff went on. "If she's going to put up with me, she has to be battle tested. She has to know how hard life can be, but she chooses not to give up on it. Or anyone else. It's how she could love someone like me. And know how to walk away and move on if I'm too much."

"Jeff, you wouldn't do that. Not if you were that ready," Annie reassured.

"You don't know that for sure," Jeff grimly said. "But it wouldn't be that bad. Not if I couldn't ruin her for good. Not if she could save herself and find a real life beyond me. She wouldn't be ruined by heartache and pain for decades. Not like some people."

"Jeff…." Annie tried to start, yet he was too far gone to stop.

"That's who she is, Annie. She'd have to be the strongest, smartest, toughest, most capable woman I've ever met. And she'd be beautiful in ways that I've never noticed in a woman before. Not just physically, although that would be huge too." Jeff finally stopped, then looked shy as he resumed, "That's as far as I got before he pointed out the pattern."

"Pattern?" Annie repeated.

"You don't see it yet? It won't make you look childish if you do," Jeff promised. "Then again, it took me a while to accept it. It's still taking a while, even now. No matter how much this helps."

"Jeff, what do you need help with?" Annie asked, her voice getting shaky as she started to really think this over.

"Not much. Just that I have all these sappy standards for my ideal wife. And every single one of them describes someone I already know," Jeff revealed.

Annie knew he wasn't talking about Shirley. Maybe not even about Britta.

When she ruled that out, all she could do was drop her jaw. "Yeah, that's about how I took it at first," Jeff noted.

"It's not possible," Annie muttered.

"How do you think I feel? But that's life for me now, apparently," Jeff conceded.

"But you….and I just….the way I felt," Annie started rambling, yet Jeff cut her off.

"Annie, you don't have to second guess yourself anymore," Jeff started. "You only thought your feelings were obsessive, or childish, or some fixer-upper complex, because I let you. It was just some stupid stall tactic before I could accept the truth. I just stood by and let you second guess it too much first."

"Why….why do you know that and I don't?"Annie made herself ask. "If that's true, it's still kind of sad. I should know myself better than that. I shouldn't need you to tell me how I feel."

"I shouldn't need you to show me how I feel, but you do. Even when you don't try, you do," Jeff credited. "You help me when I'm too stupid or scared to figure something out myself. Why shouldn't I do the same for you?"

Annie felt a little offended by the stupid part, but Jeff brushed past it. "That's how we really work. We're more than capable of doing things ourselves. When we aren't, we turn to each other and it works out. But we both let ourselves twist it into something wrong or creepy, because it's too scary to face that it isn't. Letting you think that's all on you…." he left hanging for a second. "I like lying, but that's way too big of a lie. Even for me."

"Jeff, if you're just saying that…." Annie warned.

"It'd be so much easier if I was," Jeff protested. "Unfortunately, I know better. We let dumb, misguided parts of our brains twist everything around too much. But they're not who we really are. Well, not who you are, anyway. If I told you this a lot earlier, you never would have forgotten that."

Jeff sighed and added, "That's on me and I'm really, really sorry. For that and other stuff." He said it quickly before he could take it back, yet Annie heard it all too clear. That was the only clear thing about this for her.

"I want to believe you," Annie admitted. "But I've been shamed and slandered about my feelings, by you and myself, for too long. Now I don't know what I should believe."

Annie took a few breaths, then stabilized herself to state, "I wish I could have just one simple thing. One thing that can't be twisted to make me feel like a little girl. One thing that makes me go forward and stay there, not backwards a few weeks later. Am I even allowed to have that now? Are you?"

Neither of them answered for several seconds. Annie couldn't even predict what Jeff might say to that. But any of her guesses would have been wrong, once he really asked, "Do you want to stay for dinner?"

"What?"Annie exclaimed. "Why are you asking that?"

"This is me taking a step forward," Jeff explained. "I owe you for getting the Dean off my back. And I owe you a bunch of other things. I can get started by making you dinner, and then make a few other gestures later on. If you'll let me."

"Are you serious?" Annie checked. "Are you just offering, or is this real?"

"The fact you had to ask that proves how far I have to go," Jeff lamented. "But if I'm going to do it, I'm doing it right."

"So you're using dinner? You're not going right to kissing first?" Annie asked, only out of curiosity.

"No. Not like that," Jeff said, before he seemed to realize what he meant. When Annie took in the implications, she struggled not to blush. Jeff actually looked redder as he grumbled, "Well, it's not like that came out of nowhere, is it?"

"My life is complicated enough right now, Jeff. So is yours. I don't know if this would make it easier," Annie said.

"I don't either," Jeff echoed.

"And I don't really want to get married. Not like I imagined at the convention. Maybe that helped me more than I thought," Annie conceded.

"I still don't want it either. But there are lots of things I didn't think I wanted. Now…." Jeff hesitated. "Maybe I should at least try them before I make any judgments. But I have a lot to prove first."

"No you don't. Don't underestimate yourself like that," Annie urged.

"You do the same and we'll have a deal," Jeff smirked. Annie bit back an understanding smile of her own, but not by much.

"Annie, I don't know what'll come out of this. But it can't be worse than what I've been doing. If I have 10 weeks left at Greendale, I can't wait until the last one to do something," Jeff admitted. "And I can't let you look and feel like something you're not while I twiddle my thumbs. Not anymore."

"It's not just up to you, Jeff," Annie reminded. "There's a lot we both have to work out."

"Then let's start here. We lost our chance to hang out at Halloween and the convention. Let's get back that lost time first. Then we'll get back more later. Even if it isn't in the bedroom," Jeff dared to hint.

"Letting old Jeff get some words in?" Annie needled. "That's okay, he's good in small doses. He's more than good, actually. As long as he's not too over the line, he's really something. So are all the Jeffs, really," she let herself remember.

"You overestimate them. But maybe it's time they earned it," Jeff said. "If they haven't done too much damage….do you want to have dinner with just me?"

Annie had analyzed and overanalyzed everything about her and Jeff for years, due to his jerky denial and her own fears. But as complicated as her and Jeff were, they didn't have to be that complicated. No matter how some outer and inner influences had made them pervert it, to coin an unfortunate phrase.

She had normal feelings for someone. Feelings that were never childish and obsessive, no matter what influence made her act and think otherwise. Especially now that she knew Jeff felt something too. That it wasn't just her.

She knew all of that deep down, and she always knew it. Apparently she needed Jeff to tell her what she already knew, before she could remember it. But the fact that he was willing to try now….

Annie had her answer. Without letting her imagination run away, she had her answer.

She may have smirked too big before she said it, though. That might have been why Jeff rolled his eyes and joined in when she said, "I do."

After mocking her cheesiness for a while, Jeff got down to business. He had a wide variety of good dinner food to choose from, since he had to keep his beloved temple – and its abs – on the upkeep. Annie avoided dwelling on that, partly because she had some tough choices to make from Jeff's menu.

Once she made her choices, Jeff cooked them and only needed help with one or two things. By then, the ice had broken enough for them to talk all throughout dinner.

They talked about everything else they went through at the Hunger Deans, Halloween and the convention when they weren't together. Jeff somehow got Annie to betray Britta and Troy with a little gossip, and Annie paid him back by creeping him out with Pierce mansion stories. Once he called a truce, he even offered to listen to Annie talk about forensics class.

Since Annie came here right from school, she had some forensics textbooks and notes to show off. With Troy, Abed and Britta in their own worlds, she didn't really have anyone to talk to about her new major, or the new direction in her life. But since forensics was linked to the law, Jeff knew some stuff about it, and looked happy that Annie was a part of it.

This also brought back memories of their Law and Order adventure, as relieving the pre Starburns-death part of it got them through dessert. They got through another hour talking about Jeff's search for a new law firm after graduation, debating which movie characters their new history professor looked like, and what foods Shirley would stuff them with for Thanksgiving. By the time that made them hungry again, Annie realized she should get going.

Jeff didn't put up a fight, although they both wondered how strong they'd be if he did. Yet they looked at peace as Annie headed to the door.

"We should do this again sometime," Jeff dared to offer first. "I know we've chickened out on spending time together lately. But even if we fix that in group, I wouldn't mind having you here once in a while. Even if you just need a break from your den brothers and their other babysitter."

"Well, maybe I shouldn't visit the library every time that happens," Annie relented. "But I shouldn't come here that often. Not at first. If the Dean really tries to give you space, it won't help if he sees me here every few days. I took a risk staying this long today."

"How do you do it?" Jeff inquired. "How can you keep feeling for people like….that?" Annie sensed that he wasn't just talking about the Dean.

"I guess that's just who I am. I understand people like...that, all too well," Annie stressed. "It's why I want them to turn out better than me."

"That's not possible for a number of reasons," Jeff said. "It's why all of….this means something. No matter what old Jeff made you think. Remember that next time some jackass makes you think that way, okay?"

"I'm sure you'll be the first to know if I do," Annie teased. After their shared smiles ran their course, they were left wondering how to wrap it all up.

Jeff briefly inched towards her, but kept his distance. Annie knew it might mean more if he closed the gap first. Yet she sensed it'd mean more to her, and give him something to shoot for, if she took the leap first.

Annie didn't go to kiss him on the lips. Instead, she gave him a soft but long and lingering kiss on the cheek. In some ways, it was more romantic and meaningful than the Transfer kiss. When she broke off and leaned back to look at Jeff, she saw his stunned look turn into a cheesy one.

If this was one of those times where Annie forgot herself, she would have turned googly eyed and started to dream their wedding. However, those spells were built on girlish fantasies. This moment was built on something real. Jeff told her so.

This real moment was better than all fantasies put together, even without kissing or marriage. She didn't feel like too much of a girl, because Jeff was kind of acting like one too, and she knew it – and she knew that he kind of liked it. Because he kind of liked her.

What daydream could be better than that reality?

All Annie knew – and hoped to remember – was that there was no point in finding one anymore.

"Good night, Milady Winger," Jeff interrupted her reverie. Annie couldn't help but feel a little awkward, although Jeff looked worse. "Too soon?"

Perhaps it was. But that shared bit of awkwardness, and his attentiveness, showed Annie they were on the same page. It made all the difference in the world.

"I'll let you know. Milord," Annie gave a courteous but sly bow, already wondering how her senioritus could strike this apartment next time. The smile/smirk that blossomed would give Jeff something to think about as she left the room.

Annie was close to cloud nine as she walked down the hall, but not dangerously so. She knew it when she noticed that Dean Pelton's apartment door was open a bit, and the Dean was watching from behind.

But when he saw that she saw him, he gasped and covered up, "No, wait, it's not what it looks like! I wasn't watching his door for the whole four hours anyway! My tango heels don't have to pay for that, right?" He laughed nervously and shut the door, perhaps to enjoy his heels before they became part of Senioritus Annie's next prank.

Yet regular Annie could let it slide. After all, taking baby steps seemed to be a common theme tonight. Even if her and Jeff's steps were more like toddler steps. But even that seemed to underestimate it.

Whenever Annie's feelings got away from her, for whatever puzzling reason, she was shamed into feeling that it was obsessive and inaccurate –whether by Jeff, the outside world or her own inner fears. But she wasn't allowed to see how Jeff was going through the same thing. That it wasn't one-sided or wrong – that they really were equal. That she wasn't alone.

Now that they saw that, their true dynamic and what they meant to each other couldn't be ignored or slandered anymore.

It made Annie feel safe to think this might have been the best first date of her life. She couldn't be influenced to feel like a stupid girl for that. Because now she knew she might not be the only one who thought that way.

As it turned out, she really wasn't. And now Jeff finally knew how to show it to her.

THE END