Hidden
by Kye
People are strange to me. They romanticize and dramatize whatever is too harsh for their liking. They blur lines that are already unclear, argue with pure fact, and change their opinions like a butterfly changes direction. They try to make things easier for themselves with fantasy and lies, but all they really do is make it that much harder when the truth comes out.
I'm a perfect example of this illogical human behavior. Like this:
At first glimpse, they think, "Mazoku! Bad, evil, dirty, garbage!" This isn't something only humans do: there are some dragons I could mention who say the same thing. And I don't really blame any of them, because at least the first two of those descriptions are right on.
The problem is what they do once they get to know me.
See, they almost always start to like me. This idea is disgusting to them, as they know me to be, and I quote, "Mazoku! Bad, evil, dirty, garbage!" So right away, their brains start clicking around their heads like clockwork. And I'm in favor in clockwork, as long as it doesn't run slow or show hours that don't exist. Unfortunately, this is just the sort of clockwork the human brain is. Somewhere between one swing of the pendulum and the next, truth is lost, fact is discarded, and fancy is tucked in their place.
As each figurative minute ticks by, a little more moonshine is melted into place. Like so:
swing
"Xelloss is a mazoku, but he's not as bad as some."
swoop
"Xelloss is a mazoku, but he doesn't really like it."
swing
"Xelloss is a mazoku with feelings! He has a real heart inside!"
swoop
"Xelloss is different, but not in a bad way."
swing
"Xelloss wouldn't harm a fly! He just acts tough."
swoop
"Xelloss would give his life for us!"
shatter.
Not to break the hearts of frail young romantics (literally, anyway), but all of that is a pile of dog discards. Why is it, say, that I had to have a deep, romantic reason for killing off a tribe of Golds? Maybe it seems harsh to some people, but I think it was completely justifiable. Think about it! Those creatures are just plain annoying. They insult everyone and state the obvious and sell out anyone, from complete strangers to their own priestesses. And they deserved to die, killing the Ancients like that. I always did like the Ancients better than the Golds. (Try telling that to Val, though. I swear, there never was such an unforgiving soul...!)
And loyalty to the humans? To Lina the pig and Gourry the idiot and Amelia the justice freak? Not to mention Zelgadis, who only counts as a third of a human anyway.
Why do I owe them allegiance? I've helped them a lot more than they've ever helped me. And that was for Xellas's sake, not theirs. I have loyalty, but I keep it where it's safest to be. No offense to Lina's power, but Xellas's is a lot more comforting.
The most appalling, and amusing, misconception is how romantic I am. I'm an ordinary mazoku. In other words, completely ammoral and not very sentimental. Yet let the human race alone for ten minutes and they've got me pinned down as pining for love and seething with jealousy. Sure, I make a good enigma. I do not argue here. I don't see why I should be an angst bomb at the same time, though.
Everyone is convinced that I'm hiding an inner softness. Yes, my friends, behind this cheery mask, you will find AMAZING TRUTHS! a HORRIBLE CHILDHOOD! UNREQUITED LOVE! CONFUSION and DOUBT!! It's the event of a lifetime: a mazoku with heart!
Why should I be?
Why do you all think my real self is hidden? That it gets better the deeper you go?
I don't hide anything. Not really. When I feel dangerous, you can tell. When I feel normal, you can see it. And maybe there's a darkness lurking behind my smile. Who am I kidding? Of COURSE there's darkness. But it isn't tempered with love, diluted by tenderness.
I'm a monster. I admit it. You admit it. But I still have to wonder where all these ideas come from. It's not from me. I've never hinted at anything like kindness, so far as I know. So if it's not me who's hidden, who is it?
Maybe the one who's really hiding is you.
----------------------------------- A.N.: I've wanted to write that for ages! Every time I tried, though, it was garbage. I hope this is better. ^^
Akemi: Of course it is, moron! Eki wasn't your muse before. Now she is.
Kye: -_-;; I really hate you...and my parents are yelling at me too.
Eki: Oh, it's all right, hon.
Kye: At least I have one supporter, even if she is in my head. *glares at world*
People are strange to me. They romanticize and dramatize whatever is too harsh for their liking. They blur lines that are already unclear, argue with pure fact, and change their opinions like a butterfly changes direction. They try to make things easier for themselves with fantasy and lies, but all they really do is make it that much harder when the truth comes out.
I'm a perfect example of this illogical human behavior. Like this:
At first glimpse, they think, "Mazoku! Bad, evil, dirty, garbage!" This isn't something only humans do: there are some dragons I could mention who say the same thing. And I don't really blame any of them, because at least the first two of those descriptions are right on.
The problem is what they do once they get to know me.
See, they almost always start to like me. This idea is disgusting to them, as they know me to be, and I quote, "Mazoku! Bad, evil, dirty, garbage!" So right away, their brains start clicking around their heads like clockwork. And I'm in favor in clockwork, as long as it doesn't run slow or show hours that don't exist. Unfortunately, this is just the sort of clockwork the human brain is. Somewhere between one swing of the pendulum and the next, truth is lost, fact is discarded, and fancy is tucked in their place.
As each figurative minute ticks by, a little more moonshine is melted into place. Like so:
swing
"Xelloss is a mazoku, but he's not as bad as some."
swoop
"Xelloss is a mazoku, but he doesn't really like it."
swing
"Xelloss is a mazoku with feelings! He has a real heart inside!"
swoop
"Xelloss is different, but not in a bad way."
swing
"Xelloss wouldn't harm a fly! He just acts tough."
swoop
"Xelloss would give his life for us!"
shatter.
Not to break the hearts of frail young romantics (literally, anyway), but all of that is a pile of dog discards. Why is it, say, that I had to have a deep, romantic reason for killing off a tribe of Golds? Maybe it seems harsh to some people, but I think it was completely justifiable. Think about it! Those creatures are just plain annoying. They insult everyone and state the obvious and sell out anyone, from complete strangers to their own priestesses. And they deserved to die, killing the Ancients like that. I always did like the Ancients better than the Golds. (Try telling that to Val, though. I swear, there never was such an unforgiving soul...!)
And loyalty to the humans? To Lina the pig and Gourry the idiot and Amelia the justice freak? Not to mention Zelgadis, who only counts as a third of a human anyway.
Why do I owe them allegiance? I've helped them a lot more than they've ever helped me. And that was for Xellas's sake, not theirs. I have loyalty, but I keep it where it's safest to be. No offense to Lina's power, but Xellas's is a lot more comforting.
The most appalling, and amusing, misconception is how romantic I am. I'm an ordinary mazoku. In other words, completely ammoral and not very sentimental. Yet let the human race alone for ten minutes and they've got me pinned down as pining for love and seething with jealousy. Sure, I make a good enigma. I do not argue here. I don't see why I should be an angst bomb at the same time, though.
Everyone is convinced that I'm hiding an inner softness. Yes, my friends, behind this cheery mask, you will find AMAZING TRUTHS! a HORRIBLE CHILDHOOD! UNREQUITED LOVE! CONFUSION and DOUBT!! It's the event of a lifetime: a mazoku with heart!
Why should I be?
Why do you all think my real self is hidden? That it gets better the deeper you go?
I don't hide anything. Not really. When I feel dangerous, you can tell. When I feel normal, you can see it. And maybe there's a darkness lurking behind my smile. Who am I kidding? Of COURSE there's darkness. But it isn't tempered with love, diluted by tenderness.
I'm a monster. I admit it. You admit it. But I still have to wonder where all these ideas come from. It's not from me. I've never hinted at anything like kindness, so far as I know. So if it's not me who's hidden, who is it?
Maybe the one who's really hiding is you.
----------------------------------- A.N.: I've wanted to write that for ages! Every time I tried, though, it was garbage. I hope this is better. ^^
Akemi: Of course it is, moron! Eki wasn't your muse before. Now she is.
Kye: -_-;; I really hate you...and my parents are yelling at me too.
Eki: Oh, it's all right, hon.
Kye: At least I have one supporter, even if she is in my head. *glares at world*