A/N: Oops what is this. Some would say I should be updating other stories... I would say, here: have some pointless smut that I wrote for Ashley on tumblr. All her fault because she said "I love you more than Kendall loves licking whipped cream off Logan's chest" so yeah... she asked for it.

Because that's all this is. A oneshot in which Kendall and Logan decide to have sex on the dining table... and there's some whipped cream involved.

So, enjoy it! And let me know what you think because reviews are the reason good things happen to good people.

Disclaimer: I don't own BTR or anything like that. Shame.

Oh and this is RPS... Don't rat on me. The reason its RPS is because this was only meant to be as a drabble on tumblr and I work much better with Schmidt and Henderson ok...

Oh and this is not meant to be in any sense well written. I only decided like 5 minutes ago I would actually post it here for other human eyes ok so...

:)

"Alright, here are your options" Kendall smiles happily, Logan merely raising an eyebrow as he takes a seat at the breakfast bar to watch his boyfriend make a mess in the kitchen.

"You can have either; cereal... boring, or French toast with bacon, OR pancakes"

"Did you become a master chef over night Schmidt?" Logan grins, leaning forward to rest on his elbows.

"I've always been a master chef Henderson, you just doubt my skills"

"Well, you are the girl, so it's no surprise"

"Oh, you're going to regret that" Kendall warns, but the chuckle evident on his lips.

"Mmm I'll see it when I believe it" Logan shrugs, earning himself a glare. "Right! Now, breakfast... hmm... No Schmidt McMuffins today?"

"Afraid not Logie bear" Kendall sighs, laughing at Logan's pout. "If someone had of gotten muffins at the store like I asked then..."

"Hey! Don't blame me! If I recall, you told me to pick up some things from Whole Foods, but then you said if I wasn't home in 15 minutes I couldn't fuck you in the shower so... double standards there Schmidt"

"So you're saying shower sex is more important than food?"

"... Sometimes"

"Horny bastard. Usually im kidding when I say those things..."

"And yet, I seem to recall you screaming against the tiled wall last night so..."

Kendall blushes, which is a usual trait of his, but like another typical trait, he always laughs it off. "Whatever, you loved it, I loved it, we both loved it, but now we're going to eat what I make you, alright?"

"Yes, sir" Logan grins with mock salute, ducking to dodge getting slapped with a tea towel from across the bench.

"Since you're being a dick, I'm making you pancakes. No choice, Henderson"

Logan shrugs with a laugh, watching as Kendall starts to prepare the food, watching the way his bare torso flexes and curves whenever he moves, the way the Cali light catches the panes of his back, the way the V of his hips dip dangerously low into the band of his boxers. Fuck, Logan wants to rip those boxers off. He can't blame himself, I mean, they hadn't had sex since like... yesterday, so, life was hard enough thank you very much.

"Do you wanna go into the studio today?" Logan asks as Kendall works away silently at the stove, getting up to grab plates and cutlery for their food.

Kendall shrugs, the muscles of his back tensing, "If you want. Do we have anything new to record?"

"Mmm I have a new song"

"Really?" Kendall asks in surprise, turning to look at Logan leaning against the counter.

"Yep"

"So..." Kendall probes, "What's it called? Why haven't I heard it? That's rude"

Logan laughs. "Well... It's not too complex"

"What is it?" Kendall sighs in annoyance, placing the last of the pancakes on the large serving plate and turning off the stove top.

"It's called.." Logan grins, reaching out to hook his hand through the front of Kendall's boxers, pulling him into his chest with a grunt and a thud and moving his lips to the shell of Kendall's ear and lowering his voice to barely a whisper, "it's called, Fuck Me In The Kitchen"

Kendall chuckles, wrapping his long arms around Logan's middle and smiling down at him, "Oh yeah? Good title... Not sure the label will like it. Tell me some of the lyrics"

Logan smirks running his finger down Kendall's chest as he sings, "Oooh baby baby, fuck me good fuck me hard, fuck me long fuck me tight, fuck me in the kitchen baby"

Kendall can't help but laugh at Logan's made up tune, brushing their lips together before he says, "yeah the label definitely won't like that. And neither do I, because we have pancakes to eat"

With that, Kendall pushes off Logan's chest and picks up the food to take it over to their dining table.

"Fuck you" Logan mutters under his breath, his half hard erection starting to strain against the thin material of his boxers. Kendall's a fucking tease when he wants to be.

Despite being horny and angry, Logan does have to admit Kendall's pancakes are delicious, but does Kendall really have to lick the whipped cream off his fork like that? Tease.

Logan's minding his own business, casting his eyes over the magazine that sits on their table and focusing on not getting maple syrup on his face, but he almost yelps in shock when Kendall leans over from the chair next to him to lick up the side of his face.

"What the fuck Kendall?" Logan says angrily, turning to see a grinning Kendall with smeared whipped cream on his lips and tongue.

"You have whipped cream on your face... let me help" the blonde says huskily, leaning forward to trace his tongue over the line he had previously drawn.

"You're so gross" Logan grunts with a shake of his head, moments like these making him wonder why he fell in love with a two year old.

"I think you meant to say, 'you're so sexy' maybe?" Kendall smirks, making Logan catch his breath when he moves over to hook a leg over Logan's legs and straddle him on the dining chair.

"God you're so annoying" Logan grunts, hands reaching out to dig into slim hip bones. "One minute you don't want sex and then you do want sex... make up your mind"

Kendall laughs, Logan's favourite sound in the world, bringing their lips together and letting his teeth sink into Logan's bottom lip, pulling gently before letting it spring back. "Well, can I just say... I'm ready for the 'fuck me in the kitchen' song. Except maybe it should be, 'fuck me on the dining table'?"

Logan smirks, standing up in one fluid motion and taking Kendall with him, the blonde boys' instant reaction to wrap his long legs around Logan's waist for support. Logan barely moves them, just enough so he is not in the line of any food and turns so that he sits back on the table, Kendall taking the lead of resting his knees on the hard wood and pushing Logan backwards until his back lies flat.

The first time they had sex on the dining table, Logan was about 100% it was going to break and he spent the whole time freaking out, but he can honestly say that after about 70? times (he's lost count), he's sure the table will be just fine.

"Mmm still need something" Kendall murmurs against his chest, sitting up to reach over to the middle of the table and grab the can of whipped cream.

Logan gasps as the cold cream comes in contact with his skin, Kendall positively giggling as he starts to draw random nonsense patterns over Logan's chest.

"You better clean that up Schmidt" Logan mumbles, fingernails digging into the soft skin of Kendall's thighs.

"Oh, I plan to" Kendall grins, shifting back on the table until he jumps off it and grabs Logan by the hips to drag him down the table and closer to the edge. Placing a hand on either side of Logan's chest, Kendall leans forward, his tongue darting out to draw a tantalizingly slow line up Logan's stomach and to his chest. Logan moans, hands shooting to fist through messy blonde hair and back arching when Kendall's mouth engulfs the cream resting over his right nipple.

"Mmm" Kendall mumbles against his skin, lips kissing the cream down to his stomach, "So sweet"

As Kendall gets lower, he grabs the hem of Logan's boxers in his hands, not hesitating in pulling them down the shorter boys legs in one swift motion.

"God damn it Logan" Kendall chuckles, taking in the sight of Logan completely hard and almost begging for it by this point.

"Just shut up and fuck me please" Logan groans, trying to use his hands to place Kendall's mouth right where he so wishes it would go.

"Well well well" Kendall says, leaning back and pulling Logan's hands from his hair, "the great Logan Henderson wants to take it up the ass this morning I see?"

Logan snaps his arm out like a cobra, curling his fingers around Kendall's neck and pulling him down with so much force he almost loses his balance. Logan's teeth drag down Kendall's jaw as he almost grits out the words, "fuck me right now you dick head"

"Fuck" Kendall chokes out, a strong gush of air leaving his lungs when Logan lets go of his throat, "You're so fucking bossy"

"Yeah, tell it to someone who cares" Logan grins, running his foot over the bulge in Kendall's boxers and eliciting a moan from the blonde. "These, off"

"Yes sir" Kendall says with a roll of his eyes, pushing his boxers down his legs and off to the side.

Kendall kisses down Logan's body, collecting up any remnants of cream that remains on the boys chest and keeping it on his tongue, for when he reaches lower and lower, ghosting his lips past Logan's cock, he presses his cream covered tongue flat and hard against Logan's entrance; making him scream.

"Oh fuck, fuck, Kendall" Logan moans, bucking his hips up for any sort of friction, "please, just, please"

Kendall smirks, pushing his tongue past the tight ring of muscle and gripping onto Logan's thighs as he thrusts in as deep as he can go.

Logan's legs have fallen over Kendall's shoulders, the heels of his feet digging into the hard panes of the tall boys back, as if he is almost forcing the blonde to go deeper, harder, rougher. Sometimes, this is how Logan likes to make Kendall cum, fucking him relentlessly with his tongue until the blonde is a quivering shaking mess, but now? The tables have turned.

"Please please" Logan gasps, heels digging in hard enough to bruise, "Please fuck me now"

Kendall flicks his tongue once more around Logan's entrance, dragging the wet muscle up the pale boys thigh before digging his teeth into the soft skin and earning himself a gasp.

When Kendall stands back up, Logan's legs go with him, still placed firmly on his shoulders and causing him to almost be folded in half when Kendall leans forwards to seal their lips together.

"Spit in my hand" Kendall almost commands, holding his palm out but earning himself a raised eyebrow and for Logan to say the second time that morning, "You are so gross"

"Oh come on, we're having sex on the place we eat dinner"

"Touché" Logan grits, grabbing Kendall's wrist and making a show of bringing the hand to his face to drag his tongue up the palm before taking it back to spit generously on it.

"Good boy" Kendall smiles, placing a quick kiss to Logan's lips before he reaches down between their bodies, wrapping his spit slicked hand around his cock and gasping as he strokes quickly before lining up with Logan's still wet, cream covered entrance.

Pressing their lips together tightly, Kendall pushes into Logan's heat, always forgetting how fucking tight he is.

"Oh fuck" Logan moans, biting down on Kendall's bottom lip and squeezing his eyes shut as his body attempts to adjust to the intrusion.

"You ok?" Kendall asks softly against his lips, running a hand through Logan's messy brunette hair to try and distract him.

"I'm not - shit - you're not going to break me Kendall" Logan moans out, shifting his hips and smirking up at the blonde in a clear consent to move.

So Kendall does, and he does hard, Logan's comment of him being the girl in the relationship still burning in the corners of his mind.

"Oh fuck! Kendall!" Logan cries out, throwing his arms around Kendall's neck and shoulders and pulling him in close.

Kendall presses almost soft loving kisses to Logan's neck, but the action of that being overshadowed by his relentless thrusts as he pounds the shorter male into the hard wood of their dining table.

"Oh god, Logan, shit, fuck" Kendall moans out in a babble of almost incoherency, grabbing one of Logan's hands on his shoulder and locking their fingers tightly together before throwing their joined hands onto the table above Logan's head.

"Touch me" Logan whispers as he pants, hand running down the side of Kendall's face as their eyes are locked tight and intense, "please, touch me, please"

Kendall doesn't need to be asked twice, not one to deny his lover anything, reaching down between their almost tightly pressed bodies to wrap a hand around Logan's leaking cock.

"Oh god" Logan moans, back arching off the table and more into Kendall's touch, "oh fuck me"

"Wrap your legs around my waist" Kendall breathes heavily against Logan's skin, "do it"

So Logan does, not questioning the blonde but almost shouting out in shock and pleasure when Kendall wraps both arms around his waist and pulls him up from the table.

"Shit" Kendall grunts, taking two steps back until the back of his legs hit the dining chair and he sits down, Logan's legs falling to the side. "Maybe you need to lay off the pancakes Henderson"

"Shut the fuck up" Logan grins, digging his nails into Kendall's shoulders and using this new position to his advantage, lifting up until just the head of Kendall's cock remains inside him before he is slamming back down and making them both cry out.

"Oh fuck, yes, fuck" Kendall cries as Logan begins to positively bounce in his lap, placing both hands either side of Logan's face to smash their lips together in a messy kiss.

"Kendall, please, touch me again or ill punch you"

Kendall laughs against Logan's lips breathlessly; wrapping a hand around Logan's cock and pumping quickly with the brunette's rapid rise and fall in his lap.

It doesn't take long until Logan is positively screaming into Kendall's neck, stars and white filtering his vision and fireworks fucking exploding in his chest as he comes with a cry. Pants of "fuck" and "yesyesyes" and "i fucking love you" coming streaming from his lips.

Watching Logan come undone is one of Kendall's favourite things in the world, for many reasons, one being that he knows there is no one else that can make Logan feel like this, no one else that gets to see him like this; he is all Kendall's, completely, utterly and forever.

With a grunt and a cry and a moan, Kendall is coming hot and hard, holding Logan close and tight as he pants away the ecstasy into the salt sweated skin of Logan's neck.

"Oh fuck, shit, fuck that was, yeah" Logan says breathlessly, stilling his hips and resting his forehead against Kendall's, both breaths heavy as they drink one another in.

"Im going to go with, 'it was good'" Kendall chuckles, placing his hands on Logan's hips to help him ease off his cock before placing him back in his lap comfortably.

"Duh, what do you think?" Logan smiles, picking up one of Kendall's hands and pressing a soft kiss to the palm before locking their fingers together and letting their hands fall to the side.

"So" Kendall smiles lazily, placing soft kisses along Logan's jaw, "am I still the girl?"

"Hmm..." Logan ponders, tracing soft patterns into Kendall's chest, "definitely"

Kendall rolls his eyes and leans back in the chair, unable to stop himself from smiling as Logan's dimples cut into his cheeks and his bottom lip gets caught between his teeth.

"You're so lucky I love you" Kendall says with a shake of his head, smiling when Logan leans in to place a gentle kiss to his lips before whispering, "Love you too. Forever and always"

"Forever and always" Kendall repeats, cupping Logan's jaw in his palm and running a thumb over his high cheek bone as he brings their lips together once more.

Forever and always... yeah, they can live with that.