Truthfully, you're more of an animal than a boy, but there's still something human trapped in you. It's small, and it ticks like a little clock somewhere in your core, keeping track of the next time you'll rupture in a burst of wild, feverish black. But it's still there. For whatever reason, that something is still there, despite your toxic efforts to shed yourself of it for good; you could be so much more monstrous without it.

Kougyoku, optimistic as she is, sees it most of all, and is all the more foolish for it. She makes sure to remind you of this whenever she deems it necessary – when you're lying in a hollow heap beneath a halo of magicked light after being crushed and thrown to the ground with a sickening crunch; when you're restless and twitching, eyes flashing, teeth gritting, waiting for something to erupt or start a scene and wonderfully fuck everything up; when you're staring off into space, your heartbeat an unsteady flutter at the base of your throat, strange flashes of memories flitting across your peripheral that make you feel either like screaming or laughing until your throat is raw.

You ask her, sometimes, for proof of this gem she sees in you, this proof of being human. You challenge her, expecting the day in which she'll back down from this conviction and set you free. But this girl, sweetly perfumed and dressed in silk but still so young and untouched, looks at you with these eyes and says, You told me I was strong. You were the only one there for me. Were you lying then?

And every time, you give her a poisoned smile and say, No.

Then that's all the proof I need.

And every time, that smile of yours slips from your lips, and you look at her as if you don't recognize her anymore. This pattern has replayed itself time and time again, and yet her words, without fail, catch you off guard – you, off guard! How ridiculous, how fucked.

There are these sharp, shadowy moments-in-between-moments where you find yourself wondering if Sinbad, exalted, radiant Sinbad, has ever seen you as anything less than a beast.

If he ever did, those days are long gone.