"…And that's how I escaped from the pygmy horde and made it back to Miseryville!"

Beezy finished his story with a flourish, smiling with pride. "Never did get any more mayo, though." He looked at his two friends, frowning when he saw they were unimpressed. "What?"

Heloise rolled her eyes. "Do you really expect us to believe that we left you alone for one night and you somehow managed to board a ship to a faraway island, save a tribe from a ravenous clan of pygmies, and then escape from said pygmies by launching yourself back here with a tree, all because you ran out of mayo to put on your pizza and wandered off to get more?"

"She's got a point, Beez," Jimmy agreed. It was the day after Misery Hearts Day, and now the blonde boy sat on his stoop with his two best friends, listening to Beezy tell a ridiculous, albeit interesting, story. The fact that he'd managed to do all of this in just one night didn't help matters.

"But it really happened!" Beezy whined, throwing his hands in the air. "Is it really that hard to believe?"

"Yes!" Heloise replied. "You probably just stayed home all night watching cheesy adventure flicks and eating piz-"

"Ahem."

The three friends turned towards the noise, finding themselves surrounded by a crowd of tiny orange tribal creatures. Their leader stood in front of them all, tapping his foot impatiently. He pointed at Beezy with a miniature spear, snarling. "Get fat one!"

Before the monster could react, the pygmies swarmed, barely managing to heft up the bulky boy with their combined might. With their captive in tow, they ran off down the street. "Guess I'll see you guys later!" Beezy called out to his left-behind friends.

"Beez!" Jimmy called after him, watching his friend dissapear over the horizon. "C'mon, Heloise," he said as he leapt to his feet, "we've got to save him!"

Heloise sat still, admiring her fingernails. "Do we have to? I'm sure he'll be alright."

"Yes!"

"Alright, fine, fine." She didn't get up from her spot just yet, though. "Hey, Jimmy, we still on for this weekend?"

Jimmy nodded. "Of course! But no kidnapping this time, riiiight?"

Heloise grinned mischievously, drumming her fingers together. "No promises."

Jimmy shot her a look. "…Alright, fine," Heloise huffed. "But no Beezy either, right?"

"No need to worry," Jimmy assured her. He knelt down, motioning for Heloise to climb up on his back. "Now c'mon, we can still catch them!"

Taking her cue, Heloise got up and climbed onto his shoulders with a grunt. She wrapped her arms around his forehead, told him she was ready, and they were off.

As the two got going, Heloise clung to Jimmy tighter, holding him close with a happy sigh. She'd gotten her perfect date after all.

A/N: Phew, had a few mishaps that got me off-schedule, but it's done. It was fun to write, and I hope y'all enjoyed it as much I did making it.

Thanks for checkin' out the story, and I hope everyone had a lovely Valentine's Day!