Urdnot: A Flower in the Desert

Wrex banged his head plate against the bulkhead. "Dammit," He growled, "One fertile female in the entire galaxy, and I have to play the varren in front of her."

He growled and stalked off. Apparently, threatening to beat up the salarian was NOT a good way to impress her. Admittedly, for a salarian Mordin wasn't that bad, but still. Now he had to go look up mating rituals, since for him the last time he had had to do anything but say "I'm Urdnot Wrex" to have females requesting mating contracts was several years ago.

"Something bothering you Wrex?" A turian voice asked.

Turning and squinting, Wrex almost stopped frowning. There was exactly one turian in the entire galaxy he trusted; Garrus Vakarian. Garrus was open, honest, and best of all, had promised to look after his niece Tali on when they had gone on that crazy suicide mission with Shepard without him.

"None of your damn business." Wrex growled.

Garrus examined his claws, leaning nonchalantly back on a bulkhead. "You know, if you're having woman troubles, I happen to know a thing or two about females."

That got a laugh out of the grumpy krogan. "Oh go screw a varren Garrus. When was the last time you got laid?"

"Been a while, too busy killing Reaper and saving the galaxy with Shepard. But I do have a contact that is very familiar with krogan mating rituals."

Wrex almost told Garrus to go hump a pyjak, but he got the impression that the turian was actually trying to help him.

"Yeah?"

Garrus activated his omnitool and sent him a link. "Trust me, this is on the level. She's probably more familiar with krogan mating rituals then most krogan. And I wouldn't put it past her to actually have BEEN with a krogan. Male or female."

Glaring at his omnitool, Wrex saw the name and the picture to go with it. "Kelly Chambers? Isn't that..."

"Yes. The one that showed up to Grunt's little party in pink armor and had some sort of Shakespearian love fest with you. Nice girl, though about as xenophillic as an asari."

"Hmph. I don't want to mate with HER."

"Give Kelly a call. From the way that female blew you off, things couldn't get much worse." Garrus said, turning and heading to the main battery.

Wrex grumbled about it, but he had to admit Kelly had been a bit of a hit with the krogan males and females during the party for Grunt. Sure, no one had offered her a mating contract, but it couldn't hurt to try. So, when the Normandy stopped at the Citadel to refuel and resupply, Wrex looked her up.

When he found Kelly, he wasn't quite sure he had the right human. They mostly looked the same to him, but he remembered a bouncing, bubbly, very pink human that had been able to quote Shakespeare with the best of them. What he did not expect was a bald human in a green drell priests robe sitting cross legged with her eyes closed greeting him in the name of "Arasha the mother."

"'God 'a' mercy fellow.'" Wrex rumbled.

Kelly's eyes snapped open and when she saw who she was talking to, she smiled and stood. "And bless thee bully Wrex. What gives me the honor of the great Urdnot Wrex's company?"

"I need some advise." Wrex stated bluntly, "And a mutual turian friend said you could help me."

"Garrus sent you?" Kelly frowned, "He has to know I'm nothing but a priest of the Anu'el'eshi now. The only way I can help against the Reapers is by sharing the faith that Honored Krios had."

"This ain't about the Reapers. I've found a female I want. Well, need really. And I'm having a hard time convincing her to accept me. Hell, I tried to head butt a salararian for her! Usually the females love that. But she just told me to get out of her medbay before she threw me out."

A look of pure joy flashed on to Kelly's face, and she bounced a little, making an annoying high pitched keening noise. That was the Kelly Wrex remembered.

"Ohmygods, Urdnot Wrex has fallen in LOVE?!"

No, Urdnot Wrex had the female he needed to save the krogan species, and one that could have his sons and daughters. "Yeah, sure, let's go with that."

"Well, what does she like?" Kelly asked seriously.

"Er, salarians?"

Kelly nodded. "Which salarian?"

"You know him, Mordin Solus. She said he was funny, likes his singing. Something about him being a 'Scientist Salarian.'"

"Mordin's on your ship? Are you on the Normandy?" Kelly demanded.

"Well, yeah." Wrex admitted.

"You have to take me there!" Kelly urged, "If you can get Shepard to allow me to come back on the Normandy, I'll tell you how to win that girls heart in an instant!"

Wrex activated his omintool. "Shepard? This is Wrex."

Shepard's voice immediately replied, "Go ahead Wrex."

"Hey, I've got that crazy pink girl, Kelly Chambers with me. She says she wants to join the crew. I want here there as an advisor."

"Kelly? That sounds perfect Wrex, I'll have EDI clear her for the Normandy immediately."

Turning back to Kelly, Wrex jerked his head in the direction of the Normandy's dock. "Let's go. Where's your stuff?"

Gesturing to what she was wearing, Kelly answered, "This is it. A priestess must give away all her possessions to truly embrace the One in All. Let me say goodbye to Kolyat, he's been helping me minister to the refugees."

"Fine. Whatever. I want you back at the ship as soon as possible."

Fluttering her eyelashes, Kelly crooned, "But Wrex, first we have to get the props!"

"Props? What props?"

"Well, do you still know Francis Kitt?"

A few hours later, Wrex was back at the Normandy. He had lost contact with Francis Kitt, but several members of the production studio for Elcor Hamlet were on the Citadel and still remembered him, and they were able to get what Kelly wanted.

"I don't see how one krogan sized cape and a salarian costume for Mercutio is going to help me get a mating contract with the female." Wrex grumbled.

"Well, if she likes Mordin's songs, she's a lover of theater." Kelly explained, "And what's your biggest, most secret passion?"

"Huh, theater. That actually makes sense, you cunning little pyjack. But why the salarian costume?"

Rolling her eyes, Kelly sighed, "Because she obviously LIKES Mordin. And Mordin loves theater too. I am willing to bet, if you ask him nicely he would even be willing to put on a little show for your female. What was her name?"

"She doesn't have one." Wrex answered, "She's a shaman. Her name was given to Tuchanka."

"Hmmm, that does prose a problem. What name would you give her?"

"I wouldn't, but Mordin calls her Eve."

"That works, now Wrex, here's what you are going to do..."

A few hours later, Wrex found himself outside the medbay with Kelly and Mordin.

"I look ridiculous!" Wrex hissed to Kelly, "This had damn well better work!"

"Not ridiculous, standard costume. Have never worked with krogan before, very exciting." Mordin took a deep breath, "Could be last performance of my career. Always wanted to play the villain, always got Patter songs though."

"I wasn't asking you." Wrex snapped, looking down at himself. His armor was brightly painted in an approximation of a garish Shakespearian outfit, complete with a flowing cape and a prop sword.

"You look fine Wrex. Do you remember your lines?" Kelly shushed him, straightening the cape and putting on the last touches of paint.

"I damn well better," Wrex growled, "I wrote the stupid stuff. Do YOU remember salarian?"

Mordin nodded, flourishing his own cape. "Naturally. Studied them twice, always had good memory. Must say, surprised krogan show such talent for prose. Must do further research when able, krogan culture not widely studied."

"Alright, I'm off to go get Eve ready. You know the signal." Kelly said, hurrying off to the medbay.

Shifting uneasily from foot to foot, Wrex was grateful that he hadn't taken any of his men on this mission. None of them would have been able to take him seriously after seeing him in this get up. He just hoped that Shepard could keep the Primarch busy long enough for this fiasco to finish.

Suddenly, EDI chimed over the PA, "Flower of Tuchanka, Act 1, Scene 1."

He and Mordin stepped forward so they could be easily seen from the medbay. Out of the corner of his eye, Wrex saw the female, Chakwas, and Kelly watching. He tried not to be nervous. Urdnot Wrex did not get nervous! He was Overlord of the krogan, and nothing frightened him! Setting his jaw, he stepped forward and pointed at Mordin.

"You, knave! Upon what mischief are thou? This is the sacred land of the krogan, upon which mine ancestors bled and died. We have no use for your kind here, so away with thee!"

Mordin turned, flourishing his cape. "I come seeking the flower of Tuchanka. Such a rough, dry land this is, surely no place for a delicate flower. I came to find her and pluck her, to carry her away to my own hearth and kin. No brutish krogan could allow something green to grow up on his land ere he tramped it under his sole."

Wrex struck a pose, starting to enjoy himself. "I am Urdnot Wrex, and I too seek the flower of the desert. What know you of beauty, you who have lived all your life amid greenery and joy? Only the soul that has suffered, to strive in dark shadows and against monstrous foes can see true beauty. You would take this flower and set her upon your mantle, a trophy and no more. I would treasure and keep her at my side, knowing her beauty well, as it would be set against no other."

Mordin drew his sword, falling into a fighters stance with the blade held high and one arm raised. "Then we are opposed. I can see no recourse but bloodshed."

Shaking his head, Wrex raised his own empty hand and splayed the claws in a gesture of peace. "My people have shed enough blood, let us retire. Go back to your own garden and leave my people their own flower. Have we not endured the barbs and stings of thy own kin enough? Give us rest I say, and let our world bloom once again from the seeds of the flowers beauty."

"Pah! A krogan, speaking of peace?" Mordin spat, "All know thy kind is a rough and sordid lot, quick to anger and fast to violence. What trust do I have in thy own word? No, the flower goes with me back to my own garden. It would wither ere you plucked it."

"This I cannot allow, but it is with heavy heart that I take up my sword." Wrex declared, drawing his blade and doing his best to look mournful. "I would have peace good sir, if only you would let me."

"Ha! A krogan asks for peace, let me show you the peace of the grave!"

With that, they began. Now was time for a little something Wrex liked to call "improv" instead of letting the duel drag on with several witty one liners, Wrex hit Mordin with a weak biotic stasis and put his blade's fake tip to the salarians throat. He glanced over as he was about to "slay" Mordin, but saw the way the female was frowning. Remembering her previous reaction to maltreatment of the scientist, Wrex hastily withdrew his blade and came up with a new plan.

"Now I have thy life, and give it back to thee! So know thee the measure of a krogan, a strong man able to show mercy! We are not brutes to fight over thy bones, only give us peace and room to grow. In truth our ancestors were a misguided and unkind lot, but we have learned and are ready for new ways. No longer shall we reach out to the stars only to take! We shall extend a claw of friendship, and a open hand to aid those in need. We shall strive against the monsters in the dark, not for ourselves but for all peoples! Now go, knave, and tell your people of my mercy."

Wrex cut the stasis, and Mordin stood bowing. "Never have I met a kindlier foe then thee sir krogan! Thy noble bearing and wise words have undone me. So! Let us part, not as enemies but brothers. I shall tell my kin, the krogan are changed, and the better for it."

With that, Mordin and Wrex turned to bow to the medbay. But when he looked at the female, Wrex's heart sank. She was turned away with Chakwas and Kelly.

"Damn it!" Wrex growled, ripping of his cape and storming off to the CIC. Maybe a turian would try and pick a fight with him. Then he could work off some of the frustration.

To his surprise, he hadn't even made it to the elevator before his omnitool beeped. "Wrex, this is Dr. Chakwas. Eve wants to see you in the med bay. Alone."

"So she can dress me down most likely." Wrex grumbled, but he made his way over to her anyway. "Might as well get it out of the way now."

They were indeed alone when he got there, Kelly and Chakwas waiting outside and giggling to themselves. Wrex nearly hit their asses with a singularity, but he decided against it. No need to piss off Shepard too.

The female was waiting on one of the beds, and nodded to the one across from her. Grumbling at having to follow the orders of a female, Wrex sat on the bed and glared at her.

"What?" He snarled.

"That was... Unique." The female answered, looking him dead in the eye. "I've had more than a few males try and mate with me, even before Maleon's treatment. But what you did... No one's ever tried that before."

"It was that human females fault." Wrex grumbled, "She thought we shared a passion for theater."

"Do we?" The female asked, a hint of anger entering her voice, "Or did you make that up just to get a fertile mate?"

"'All the world's a stage,'" Wrex answered, "'And all the men and women merely players: They have their exits and their entrances; And one krogan in his time plays many parts.'"

"So you actually do like theater." The female mused, the anger leaving her voice, "Who came up with that little display? You, or Mordin?"

"Like I would ever dance for the salarians again." Wrex growled, "Even that salarian. I dance to my own pipes."

"Good. That's the sort of man I thought you were."

"So, what? Now you tell me you hated it? That it was the stupidest attempt at a mating contract you ever saw?"

The female looked away. "No Wrex. I loved it. The bit about the flower was a bit to smarmy for my taste, but what really touched my heart was that you were willing to make peace. You came this close to gutting Mordin, but then you stopped. Because you're different."

"I'm just old enough to know better." Wrex spat, "I've seen what happens when the krogan fight without thinking. We need allies, not enemies. We need peace, not war. A time to grow, rebuild and rethink. If we keep trying to kill anything that moves, eventually it will destroy us. We got lucky with the genophage. Next time, I wouldn't bet on it."

"I agree. For too long have the males ruled, to long has their aggression led us down the path of destruction. No more. It is time for the women of Tuchanka to find their voice. Draw up a mating contract Wrex."

"You want me to do what?" Wrex asked, puzzled. It was the women who drew up the mating contract, not the men.

"You heard me. My name is Urdnot Bakara. Be smart when you write the contract. This is going to be a partnership between equals, not a one way power trip. We're not just going to raise children. We're going to raise a people. Together."

For the first time in his long life, Urdnot Wrex felt something strange. He felt a mixture of respect, admiration, and... Longing? Lust? Desire? Whatever. He felt something towards this female, towards Bakara.

"I'll do that. It would be nice to have someone else who sees what the krogan need."

"Yes, it would be."

One year later...

Urdnot Wrex held his first child in his arms, Bakara was squatting beside him, still smelling of birthing fluids. There was at least one more in there, probably two.

"Well, what do you think we should name her?" He asked, grinning wildly. He didn't even care that it was a girl. This was a great day for the krogan. The linage of their people was assured.

"I thought you knew that already Wrex." Bakara grunted, trying to squeeze out the next one.

"Fine. Mordin it is." Wrex agreed. "But I'm calling her my Desert Bud."

Bakara laughed hoarsely. "Maybe we have brought beauty to the desert. The krogan are alive and well. Thanks to you, my mate."

Wrex shook his head, stroking Bakara's head crest. "No, thanks to us. My love."

Authors Note:

Written for the Aria's Afterlife Valentines Challenge. This is also 100% in continuity for Keelah Se'lai, my main fic. Enjoy your ME3 sneak peek!