The Last day to be saved
A/N: Alright, so I felt like writing something angsty, and I know I never really continued like a whole bunch of my stories, because I never know where I'm going. So next time I'm only doing one-shots and two-shots. So without further ado, I hope you enjoy this fic! –Rachel
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee
"Jeff? Are you alright?" David asked worriedly from his council table, hands folded and face bunched up in concern.
"What? What were you saying?" Jeff snapped out of his day dream, plastering a fake smile as he glanced up at David.
"I was asking if you're alright. You zoned out a bit there." David repeated, his worry lacing his voice.
"Yeah, yeah. Of course I'm fine!" Jeff grinned up at David, avoiding the questioning looks directed at him from his classmates.
"If you're sure..." David frowned suspiciously, but brushed it off almost immediately. "Let's continue to talk about our upcoming performance at six flags! I propose that-" David's voice trailed off as Jeff sunk back, deep in thought.
A dull throbbing at his chest prevented him from fully relaxing into the velvet chair he was propped up on. And the constant feeling of being alone in a room filled with people didn't help either. At first he thought he was just having a bad day but now it seems like every day was a bad day. Nothing would go right, he was always making mistakes and nothing seemed enjoyable anymore.
Jeff knew he was slowly slipping into a dangerous depression. It didn't come quickly of course, it came gradually and when this thought dawned to him, he pushed it aside, thinking he was being over dramatic. But as the days droned on, he knew, he wasn't being dramatic. When he glanced at the bottle of pills at the far end of the bathroom, he knew he wasn't being dramatic. When he stared at that knife on the cutting board the other day, and how it glinted evilly at him, he knew he was being dramatic. When he saw Nick with that girl the other day and he wanted to jump off the bridge he would cross whenever he went back home, he knew he wasn't being dramatic.
He just wanted to die.
He wanted to die so bad that everything he saw could be another way to die. The mini fridge who used to be his friend, giving him cold drinks when he needed them, he was sure that it could fit him, with rate he was losing weight. Then he could freeze to death. He could stab himself with the pencil he never used, but was always sharpened. Staking out in the boiler room, the measuring rope, the razor, the glass test tubes... the roof of Dalton Academy...
"No, no." Jeff shook his head internally, "That's too far."
But as the crowd around him continued chatting, oblivious to his discomfort or even his presence, he began to think if anything would even actually change with him gone.
Dead.
That's what he felt nowadays. He was already dead before he properly wanted to end his life. He felt like he wasn't really living, all those things he used to enjoy before, like playing the guitar, singing or even dancing, didn't even appeal to slightest to him anymore. All those things that have used to be a stress relief for him, a hobby, became more of a chore. He went through each and every day trying to put on his best smile and look like he was enjoying something when all he wanted was to curl up in his bed and sleep.
I mean sure, they would be shocked but they'll get over it. But Nick was a different thing. That boy had been his best friend for years and he couldn't just leave him…..
Oh Nick, Jeff loved him so much but he knew this love come never be returned. Nick had made it very clear when he went through girl, after girl, after girl, like flipping through a magazine book. Every one of them being "the love of his life". And Nick had to endure all the terrible break ups, crying on the shoulder of his best friend, Jeff.
And so every break up, Jeff was there. Comforting him, even though he wanted shout at his face every damn time.
"I'm right here you idiot! Why can't you see!" But Jeff's low confidence stopped him from saying these things to his STRAIGHT best friend, nothing more.
Suddenly everyone was shuffling out of the Warbler's practice room, laughing to their friends. He knew they were all leaving him, avoiding him, hating him. They never did say they hated him, in not so many words, but he knew the way everyone tried to avoid him. When he tried to talk to one of them, they would stay and listen for a while but soon just completely zone him out. He wanted to get used to being zoned out, but it hurt so badly.
Glancing at Nick, he saw him laughing animatedly with Dorian. They seemed like good friends… Dorian was replacing him.
"God." Jeff pinched the bridge of his nose exasperatedly.
He was so negative and self-pitiful that he finds everyone against him all of a sudden. He was getting worse, he can sense it.
Then Nick and Dorian walked outside of the Warblers' common room, not sparing him a second glance, like he wasn't even there. They kept chattering, exchanging exciting stories of the day. This wasn't fair. Nick was his best friend, and they always did this. Just thinking about it made him feel nostalgic, all those times when he was so happy with Nick. Before he started dating all those girls.
The door shut with a loud THUD which bounced off the walls of the now empty choir room. Jeff felt more alone than ever, he looked around the empty room.
Should he go back to his dorm?
Questions floated his mind as he pondered on what he should do next. But the serene set made him weirdly happy, almost at peace. Jeff cautiously walked over to the sofa facing the window, snow was falling slowly, contrasting with the night sky, the moon illuminating the darkness which almost engulfed it. The crickets were chirping outside, making a calm aura surround him. He suddenly became washed over by happiness, he then found himself smiling softly to nothing in particular. The warm glow of the fireplace which's fire has not been put out, the empty Warbler's council table, the multiple empty chairs and table, he thinks he rather likes being alone.
Maybe forever.
He's made up his mind, he's giving one more day. One last day. If everything could look up, which he highly doubts, he wouldn't end his life tomorrow night.
And all those things around him, the soft glowing moon, the flickering fire flames, making shadows on the walls and even the crickets chirping, lulled him into a dreamless sleep. The dark abyss welcoming him, he secretly wishes that he would never wake up.
So... What to do you guys think? Next chapter? (: REVIEW!