This is my first fanfic, so please no horrible comments, I will get better! Sorry the summery so terrible, not good at them! Please review!

Ziva sighed, and slumped back in her chair. She briefly closed her eyes, after the hard that week case she was thankful to finally be alone, since everyone had left at least an hour ago. She heard footsteps entering the bullpen. She quickly opened her eyes as Tony came to a halt in front of her desk.

"Why?" One word which had a thousand different meanings.

"Why what Tony?" She huffed impatiently.

"YOU KNOW DAMN WHY ZIVA. You- you could of died today." Taken back from his sudden outburst she sat straight up in her chair, and stared at him.

"Well I am still here." She whispered softly

"What about next time, and the time after that? When you're not so lucky? Have you ever thought about how I- we, we would feel if something happened to you?" He sighed exasperated, as he ran his hand over his sleep-deprived face. Ziva cocked her face to the side.

"Why do you care?" Ziva whispered sharply.

Tony looked at her with horror on his face; she knew he had a hit a nerve now.

"WHY DO I CARE? ARE YOU SERISOUSLY ASKING ME THAT QUESTION?" He shouted tired of all their games.

"Tony please-" She was cut of by the ringing of her phone. Ziva sighed and quickly glanced at the caller ID Ray it read. The one person she really didn't want to face right now. She pressed down the reject call button and looked back up at Tony.

He was looking at her with a calmer expression but had a hint of something else on his face, something she couldn't work out.

"Was it him." He questioned, not really wanting an answer.

"If you mean Ray then yes, it was he." As she tried to look into his eyes, but Tony deflected her gaze once again.

"You better get back to him then" He spat

"Tony, please can we talk about this" Ziva tried to plead.

"Zi. You know how I feel about you. I told you and you, I just- I just I don't think I can do this anymore." Tony softly whispered. He walked backwards and slouched against his desk, and looked up at Ziva.

She looked into his eyes, what she saw there physically hurt her. He had unshed tears with pain and sadness reflecting from his eyes.

"Tony…" She whispered softly "I-I am married to him. He is not the best man, but we are still married." Ziva spoke quietly, and rested her forehead against her arms.

"I just don't think I can keep on doing this Zi. I can't keep on putting on a brave face and carrying on smiling. I just can't watch you smile to him, and how he gets to touch and kiss you… I just can't do this anymore." Tony whispered as he bore a hole into the carpet with his stare.

"Tony… Please he has done nothing to deserve this, I can not just hurt him like that…"

"Well. I'm glad that's settled, Agent Cruz, I'll be seeing you tomo- I'll be seeing you." Tony put on a fake smile and headed toward the elevator. Ziva watched after him as she broke down in tears. She wanted to be with him, she really did but everything was so complicated. Their boss, rule 12. And Ray. The man she was supposed to love, supposed to be married to. But now, all of this was becoming tiring. She was tired of caring, she was tired of pretending to be happy with Ray, but what did he expect her to do? They had only been married for 2 months. She couldn't break his heart like this, it would be selfish.

xox In Tony's POV xox

As I stopped at the red lights I tried to blink the tears away as I rested my head on the steering wheel. Why? Why did she always pick the other guy? Did she not see what it was doing to him? It was eating him from the inside. It physically hurt to see her smile at a guy, the way he wished she would smile at him. He couldn't take anymore. He made his decision. As he headed for the next right he couldn't help think if this would hurt him more.

Oooh what's Tony going to do? Please leave a review, even through its bad I promise it will get better! My next chapter will be up shortly.