A.N: First attempt at a Glee fanfic. If you havent seen "Diva", you probably shouldnt read this because it has some spoilers. But hey, enjoy and maybe leave a review?
She was the only person who has ever understood me—she still understands me, in a way, right? I mean, we wouldn't still be best friends if we didn't understand each other...she wants the best for me, while I want the best for her.
Yet why do I feel like we're drifting apart?
Probably because we are. Her not telling me about being with...Sam, just proves it.
Hearing it from Tina was bad enough. She can be a bitch though...despite being pissed at Tina for being so blunt about...Bram, Im still proud of her for letting her inner bitchiness make an appearence.
Brittany was my first love...so far, my only true love. She made me realize who I am and to not live a lie and struggle with fighting against myself.
I had to fucking pay for some hot girl to pretend to be my girlfriend, just to make her jealous, obviously that says a lot.
She found out in the end, so I kissed Elaine for nothing...she just couldn't keep her mouth shut about being my fake girlfriend, no could she?
But she doesn't love me anymore...she loves Sam now. Which I find so stupid because Brittany could have anyone that she wants (guy or girl), and yet she settled for...trouty mouth. He is not good enough for her, he isn't the best for her. Not even close.
What the hell does he have that I don't?
I'm sexy, hot, I'm frigging Latina...what's not to like? Plus Sam is just...well, ew.
Going to college was a complete waste of time, considering the fact that I quit cheer leading over a month ago.
It's not my fault that everyone thought that I was being a bitch, I can't help but be honest. People need to learn to accept that.
Yet no matter where I go, I'll probably still end up with the same outcome; people hating me for telling them the truth.
No one but Brittany ever understood that part about me.
College is what tore us apart, right? I mean I had no time for Brittany because of classes and cheer practice...would we still be together if I hadn't wasted my time on that stuff?
Of course we would, who the hell am I kidding?
I wanted us to work, I honestly did. But I was just so tired, I couldn't give Brittany the love and attention that she wanted—that she deserved.
A webcam can only pass on so much love. It's never the same though...they should really figure out a way to be able to touch someone through a webcam, that would be really beneficial, right?
The sex would be interesting...I mean since you can't scissor a webcam, it would be interesting what you could do if you could touch someone through their computer, so...
Is Sam really that much better for Brittany? I have a hard time believing that he makes her happy. I made her happy—I could still make her happy, if she would just leave him already.
Sam is persistent, I'll give him that much credit. He even used my own words against me. Yes I said that Brittany and I wouldn't work because of the distance, but that was because I was in college...I'm back in Lima now. I could give her all the love and attention to last her a lifetime.
We went through so much, how could she just shove that all away for some guy...for Sam? We accepted each other, we loved each other. I don't get why that can't happen again.
Everything would be so much easier if Brittany wasn't made of so much love. But that's the reason I fell for her, she accepted everyone, no matter what's wrong with them.
I wonder if she ever misses our lady kisses, or maybe Sam kisses like a girl. I wouldn't be surprised if his lips are super soft, he probably goes through a few tubes of Chapstick each day because of his hge lips. Or the sex, does she miss having sex with me? It got pretty kinky, being a lesbian couple made it all the more interesting and the possibilities endless. Does she even have sex with Sam—ew, I'm so not gonna let that thought plague my mind. Just...no.
The bitch part of me that mostly cares for myself just wants to rip Brittany away from him and just call her mine. Then there's the other part of me that actually cares about what Brittany wants...and it's telling me to let her be happy...even if Sam is the source of her happiness now.
The chaste kiss that we shared in the auditorium meant a lot...it was like a proper goodbye. A way of telling me that she still loves me...but as a friend, and that we'll always have each other.
Its a start, a proper one at least.
Brittany's always been a genius like that. She's always known how to calm me down and just make me feel...well wanted. No one ever makes me feel that way, so it's nice that that won't change entirely. She may not want me in a romantic way anymore, but I'll take friendship over nothing at all.
Looks like this Valentines day it'll just be me and a bottle of champagne...Quinn is single too, maybe we can be single together and just drink until everyone is barely recognizable. Mr. Schue's wedding will be all the more interesting that way anyway.