Muttering to himself, Lithuania poured over yet another form, just one of the many that were stacked on his desk. Technically, it was Poland's desk, but the blond hardly used it and Toris had taken it over during the last two weeks. He needed it, since he'd been staying with the other nation while he recovered. Although Poland's body had fully healed and there were no scars, his mind was still struggling. No matter what Lithuania said or did, his lover refused to leave the house on his own and woke up several times a night from bad dreams.

It was beginning to take its toll on the brunette, though he refused to blame Poland. This was all Russia's doing and he was to blame. He did his best to hide how tired he was and acted as cheerful as he could around the blond so that Feliks wouldn't feel bad, especially because he knew the shorter nation already felt like a burden.

With a sigh, Toris set down the papers and leaned back in his chair, closing his eyes. He needed to take a nap or have some coffee before he'd be able to finish his work. Otherwise, he'd fall asleep at the desk and nothing would get done.

"Feliks! Could you bring me a cup of coffee, please?" the brunette called, knowing his lover was probably near enough to hear him; the blond rarely let Lithuania out of his sight, and certainly not out of earshot.

There was no response, but only a few minutes later, Poland let himself into the office and set a mug of coffee on the cluttered desk.

He kept his eyes on the floor the entire time. "Here."

Lithuania smiled up at him, wishing he could see the blond's green eyes but knowing that they wouldn't be happy like he wanted them to be. "Thank you."

Two weeks and he still wasn't used to how quiet Poland was, not after centuries of the blond's chatting and flamboyancy. No matter that he'd occasionally been annoyed by his laziness. He wanted the old Poland back, the Poland that had teased him in the car and liked to drag him around shopping malls. This nervous Poland was too similar to how he'd been just after World War II, and Lithuania would give just about anything to have his playful lover back.

"You're welcome."

"Pol." Concerned, Lithuania reached up and stroked the blond's cheek with his thumb. "You okay?" Even though he knew the answer, he always asked. No matter what was happening, he asked several times a day just to make sure.

Poland's eyes closed and he sighed, relaxing into the touch. At least he hadn't flinched this time, and he'd managed to nap a little while Toris was working, but he still hadn't bothered to put on makeup, and he was dressed in baggy sweats that were usually reserved for sick days. He hadn't left the house in days and his hair was pulled back in an uncharacteristically plain ponytail.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

The words were soft, barely audible, but Lithuania heard them. He stood and hugged the smaller nation, holding him gently. It was easy to tell that the blond hadn't been eating enough; his ribs were starting to stick out and he felt fragile, as if he might crumble into dust if Toris hugged him too tightly.

Minutes went by and still the couple didn't move. It was too quiet and peaceful—neither nation wanted to be the one to end it. Eventually, though, Lithuania pulled away and kissed his lover's forehead.

"Go have something to eat, Liks."

"I'm not hungry."

"Feliks, you have to eat. You're turning into skin and bones."

Poland knew the taller nation was right, but he didn't want to go all the way down to the kitchen by himself again. It was too far from the office—the only reason he'd gone the first time was because he felt obligated to help the brunette to make up for needing so much extra attention.

"Can't I stay here with you?" he asked beseechingly, just a hint of his old self showing through. It was almost the same tone as when he wanted to check one more store, try on another pair of shoes or even lay in bed cuddling all day.

Smiling fondly, Lithuania chuckled and touched the other man's cheek again. "Fine, but when I finish, we're having dinner and you have to clean your plate."

"Yes, mother," Feliks responded somewhat playfully, rolling his eyes but smiling. It was nice to know how much Lithuania cared about him, even if it was just by making sure he ate enough.

Toris placed another kiss on his short lover's forehead then reluctantly sat and went back to work. Not wanting to be a distraction, Poland curled up in one of the cushy armchairs he'd crammed into the office while the other nation worked. He was tired and—though he'd insisted otherwise—hungry, but he still didn't want to leave, so he settled for a nap. At least while he was in the same room as Lithuania he could fall asleep relatively easily.

It was over an hour before Lithuania finished his work for the day, and he stretched tiredly, his joints popping. The coffee Poland had brought him was long gone and he was definitely ready for dinner, and then maybe a movie and bath before he and Poland went to bed.

One glance told him that the blond was fast asleep, and he hated the idea of waking him, especially since he always looked so tired lately. Perhaps he could go make dinner and come back when the food was ready. As long as Poland didn't wake while he was gone, there would be no problem with leaving him in the chair. If he woke…well, Toris didn't want to think about that.

As quietly as he could, Lithuania left the office and made his way to the kitchen to prepare dinner.

Kolkolkol…

He couldn't move. It was holding him down, and the laughter never ended…no matter how he struggled he couldn't get away. And the teeth, biting, ripping, tearing, devouring him, covered in his blood. Pain, excruciating pain. He screamed but no one could hear him, and still that laughter.

"Poland is a little slut…Да?"

"No!"

Breathing heavily, Feliks sat up in the armchair and looked around the room, his heart beating abnormally fast. That stupid nightmare had woken him up again, but at least he hadn't disturbed Lithuania this time. He hated being a bother to the other nation, especially while he was working, but then he realized that he was alone in the office; Toris was gone.

Panic barely held in check, the blond bolted across the room to the desk and glanced over the papers still sitting out. It looked like Toris had finished working while he was asleep, but why had he left without waking Poland?

Maybe he just didn't want to bother me. It's totally fine. He wouldn't leave the house without telling me. I don't have to freak out. Just calm down, Pol. You can, like, totally be by yourself.

His gaze drifted over the papers on the desk as he calmed himself down, the absolute normalcy of it helping to remind him that he was safe in his own house.

He works so hard, especially now. I really don't deserve him…he's taking really good care of me and I can hardly even kiss him…

Tears came to his eyes at the thought. He hated feeling like this, hated flinching nearly every time his lover so much as hugged him, and turning his face away to avoid being kissed. It made him feel terrible because he knew it hurt Toris even though the brunette insisted that he understood and was perfectly content to wait. But Feliks wasn't going to do that to him anymore. Letting the other nation coddle him wasn't going to get him back to his old self, and right at that moment, he made up his mind about what he needed to do.

Hurrying so that the brunette wouldn't catch him, Poland moved each stack of paper from the desk to the floor, making sure to keep them organized exactly the way Toris had had them. When the surface of the desk was clear, he stripped, letting the heavy sweats fall to the floor, then went to the office door and poked his head out into the hall.

"Toris! Toris, where are you?" His tone was panicked and verging on hysteric from being left alone, and almost immediately he could hear Lithuania's voice and footsteps coming closer to the office.

Shutting the door again, he hopped up onto the desk and crossed on leg over the other to wait. He didn't like being so exposed, but this was the only way he was going to get better. If he didn't force himself, he'd keep being afraid forever.

Less than a minute after Poland had shouted, the door burst open and Toris rushed into the room, brown hair mussed from having run all the way from the kitchen. Worry practically radiated from him, but the moment his gaze landed on Feliks his eyes widened and he stared before quickly looking away.

"Uh, Pol, are you okay? You yelled…and…why are you naked?"

A light blush had colored the blond's cheeks when Lithuania had stared at him, and it remained as he reached out towards the brunette.

"Come here."

Eyes still glued to the floor, Lithuania moved forward and allowed himself to be pulled into a hug, though he still didn't understand why the other nation wasn't wearing any clothes.

"Liet," Poland whispered, nuzzling into the taller nation's neck, "make love to me."

There. He'd said it, and there was no taking it back. No matter what, he was going through with this. Lithuania deserved it and he was tired of letting his fear stop him.

"W-what?"

"Please." He pressed his lips to the smooth skin of the brunette's neck, kissing it lightly.

"Feliks, are you sure? You haven't seemed like you're ready…"

"I am," the blond insisted, looking into Lithuania's eyes. "Really. I want to make love with you."

Hesitating, Toris stroked the blond nation's cheek and brushed his hair back out of his eyes. They both knew he wanted it, and it was obvious that the only reason he hadn't already agreed was out of concern for Poland. What if he wasn't ready? What if he was still injured internally and it hurt him to try?

"Pol…"

"Tori, please. I need to do this."

A sigh left the brunette and he pulled out of the hug, lightly placing his hands on his lover's cheeks. "You don't need to do anything, Pol. I already told you, I'll wait until you're ready. Don't force yourself just because you're worried about me. I'm fine."

"But…it isn't fair…"

"That isn't the point." He leaned forward and pressed his lips to the blond's forehead. "I want you to get better because I love you. I don't want you to force yourself into something before you're ready."

"I am ready! I want to make love with you!" Tears threatened to spill over as Poland clung to the taller nation, his face pressed into Lithuania's shirt. "Please…you have to let me do this. I know I can do it if you just, like, give me a chance."

Toris hesitated, battling with himself. Yes, he wanted to give in and have sex with the blond, he wanted to believe that Poland had recovered enough and was ready. But what if it was too soon? What if this only caused a setback, and then Feliks didn't even want to be around him anymore? If that happened…no. It couldn't happen. He wouldn't let it.

"Okay, I'll give you a chance to try, but if you feel at all uncomfortable, Feliks, we'll stop. I'm not going to let you force yourself into something you're not ready for."

The blond nation looked up at him and smiled a bit weakly, his green eyes full of unshed tears.

"I totally promise to tell you if I need to stop," he said truthfully, looking happier than he had in days.

Smiling in return, Lithuania kissed him and gently laid him back on the desk, then carefully moved over him. "You're really sure about this?"

Poland nodded, his blush darkening as he looked up at the brunette, and tugged on his clothes. "Tor…please…"

The two nations worked together to remove Toris' clothes, Poland's hands wandering over his body as more and more of it was revealed. It was like he was seeing it for the first time, and he placed light kisses on the brunette's faded scars, making him shiver each time. Once all of his clothing was gone, Lithuania nuzzled the blond's cheek then kissed down his neck.

"I love you…" he whispered softly, then began to gently suck on one of Poland's nipples, teasing the other with his fingers. The blond moaned quietly, his eyes closing, and stroked Toris' hair with one hand.

How could he ever have been nervous to be with Lithuania? The brunette was so gentle and patient that it made Poland feel ashamed for making him wait so long, and he was glad the taller nation had agreed to at least let him try. All he needed was one chance, and he wasn't about to screw it up.

Rubbing his lover's hip gently, Lithuania licked the sensitive nub he'd been tending to then kissed down Poland's stomach, moving slowly so the blond wouldn't feel rushed or pressured.

"Toris…" The name was panted.

"Yes?" The brunette moved down and licked the tip of his lover's member then sucked gently, patiently coaxing it to life. Poland moaned, tilting his head back as he did so, and laced his fingers through Toris' hair as his hips arched up slightly.

"Please…I want you…"

Another smile curved Lithuania's lips, his hands rubbing and massaging the blond's thighs as he sucked a little harder and slowly bobbed his head. The moans coming from the nation beneath him grew louder and he felt light tugs on his hair; his tongue pressed against the bottom of Poland's length and he slid his hand up the shorter nation's chest to touch his lips.

"Suck…" he commanded gently, pausing a moment to catch his breath.

Nodding, Feliks took the fingers into his mouth and did as he was told, wrapping his tongue around each joint one by one. His actions caused Toris to moan softly and suck harder, which in turn made the blond arch off the desk and buck weakly; he groaned the brunette's name.

"Toris!"

The pleading tone was enough for Lithuania to pull his fingers free of his lover's mouth and place them instead by the blond's entrance, stroking gently.

Feliks whimpered. "Please."

A kiss was placed on his hip just before one of Lithuania's fingers gently pushed into him and he groaned, moving his hips encouragingly. The finger moved for a few moments before a second was added and then they pumped and scissored carefully, driving the loudest moan yet from the blond nation as he bucked. Only a few moments later, Toris added his third slicked finger and spread them gently to make sure his lover was properly stretched.

"Ah! T-Toris!"

Satisfied that he could make love to Poland without hurting him, Lithuania removed his fingers and kissed his way back up the sweat-dampened stomach and chest until he found the blond's mouth. It was a rougher kiss than he'd intended, but Feliks didn't seem to mind and arched against him, wrapping his arms around the brunette's neck.

"Feliks…" Taking the blond's hands in his own and lacing their fingers, Toris deepened the kiss and positioned himself. "Are you ready?"

Poland nodded and licked the other man's lip, his face a dark shade of red. They kissed again as Lithuania shifted forward and slowly entered the shorter nation, his muscles tense in order to maintain control of himself. Both men groaned at the action, and after a moment the brunette began to move, going slowly as Feliks moaned and flicked his tongue out to lick Toris' lip.

"Nn…F-Feliks? Why are you crying?" Lithuania was surprised to see tears on the blond's cheeks and began to pull out of the shorter nation, convinced that he was hurting him. Arms wrapped tightly around his waist to stop him, and he felt Poland's lips against his neck.

"Don't…I'm fine…"

"No, you're crying, which means you're not fine. It's too soon, and I'm not going to help you force yourself." Gently but firmly, Toris removed the blond's arms from around his waist.

"It's not too soon! I'm not crying because you're hurting me or whatever!" Poland argued, struggling against the taller nation's grip. His tone was desperate and he looked up at the brunette with pleading green eyes. After a moment he fell still, his weakened body unable to free itself from Lithuania's hold, although his expression made it clear that he wasn't giving up.

Toris sighed. "Then why are you crying?"

"Because…" A dark blush heated the blond's face and he looked away from the taller nation in embarrassment. "Because after Russia, all I could think about was how much it hurt. I totally forgot how good it feels when you make love to me, but when we started and you were so patient, I couldn't believe I forgot, and I'm, like, really glad you agreed to try. I didn't even realize I was crying, Tori. Honest."

Now blushing just as darkly as Poland, Toris carefully wiped the tears from his lover's cheeks then kissed him softly. "Okay, I believe you. We can keep going."

Feliks smiled and hugged the taller nation, nuzzling into his shoulder. "Thank you."

They stayed like that for a few moments, simply enjoying one another's warmth, then Poland shifted his hips against the brunette's in a silent request to continue. With a nod, Toris began to move again and settled back into a steady rhythm, dropping kisses on his lover's face, neck and chest between gasps and moans. It was a slow, gentle pace, but that was enough for now—neither nation felt any need to rush.

Eventually, though, Poland bucked his hips in an attempt to encourage his lover to move faster, and the brunette didn't hesitate to oblige. It didn't matter that they were making love on a desk, or that dinner was downstairs getting cold. The only thing either of them cared about was that they were together, and that Feliks wasn't afraid anymore.

Squeezing his hands gently, Toris put his mouth by the blond's ear. "Feliks…I love you…"

"I l-love you, too, Liet…"

One of Lithuania's hands slipped between their bodies and quickly found the blond's neglected length; he began to stroke it, his hand moving at the same pace as his thrusts. Feliks moaned and bucked again, his nails digging into the brunette's back slightly as they both began to move faster. The small amount of pain made Lithuania bite his lover's neck and he sucked, thrusting slightly harder than before.

"A-ah…Toris…I'm g-going to…!"

The brunette smiled and licked the bite mark he'd made. "M-me too…"

As gently as he could, he squeezed the Pol's length, his wrist flicking up and down faster. Finally, Feliks bucked and groaned loudly, his body tensing as he climaxed. Lithuania moaned and thrust deeper into the blond, the feeling of Poland's body tightening around him enough to bring him to his own release. Both nations continued to move through their climaxes, gasping each other's names with nearly every breath, until they collapsed on the desk in a tangle of limbs. They panted, trying to regain their breath, and Lithuania gently pulled himself from the blond's body before kissing him softly.

"I love you, Feliks."

The smile on Poland's face when the kiss ended was the most genuine Toris had seen in weeks.

"I love you, too, Tor. Forever."

Lithuania chuckled and climbed off the desk then helped the shorter nation to his feet. "I made dinner, though we'll probably have to reheat it now." He blushed to think of how much time had passed during their lovemaking, and could hardly bear to imagine what it would be like to try to use the desk for paperwork in the morning. Not to mention he was going to have to clean Poland's seed off his stomach before he'd be able to eat.

"That's okay." The blond slipped his hand into the other nation's and smiled. "It doesn't matter. Nothing else matters as long as I have you."

Lifting his hand, Toris kissed the blond's knuckles. "You have me and always will."

Feliks giggled, blushing lightly, and led his shy lover out of the office despite his protests about walking around the house naked. Now that he knew he could handle sex, he didn't intend to let Toris put his clothes back on for the rest of the day. He had two weeks to make up for, after all.