An Invader Zim Parody of Roger's and Hammerstein's "Cinderella"
By Invader Sam
Scene 1: [We open with a sky at dawn; all we can see is what's above the clouds. A small, glowing figure is sitting on a cloud off in the distance. Camera zooms in on him. It's GIR, holding a wand with a star on the end, and wearing shiny, shimmery, butterfly-type wings on his back. The wings are strapped on with elastic.]
GIR: [waving the wand and singing to himself] Improbable…for a short noisy Irken to ever pick up a hot date… [looks up, notices the audience] Oh, HI!! [waves] I'm floating!!
Sam [off screen]: [whispering frustratedly] GIR! Just read the cue-cards!!
GIR: [looks over to where Sam is] What? Oh, ok!! [Reads cue-cards] Welcome to The Invader Zim Parody of Roger's and Hammerstein's Cinderella!! [looks over to Sam again] Was that good??
Sam: [sighs] Yes, GIR. [to the camera man] Just move on to the opening credits.
[The Camera pans through the majestic clouds that are all CGI!! And the following credits fade in and out in fancy gold lettering:]
Cinderella – "Gazella"– Gaz
The Prince – "Prince Zimeriah" – Zim
The Wicked Stepmother – Tak
The Ugly Stepsisters – "Redna & Purlina" – Tallests Red & Purple
Lionel (the royal advisor) – Dib
The Queen – "Queen Sam" – Invader Sam (who's also the writer, director, producer, lyrist, prop master, set designer, costume designer, etc. etc.)
The King – "King Membrane" – Prof. Membrane
The Fairy Godmother – "The Fairy God-robot" – GIR
[As the last line of Credits fades out the camera breaks through the clouds and we see a peaceful, too-cute-to-be-true Renaissance-esque village in a valley with a big Castle on a hill overlooking everything. The camera sweeps down into the village streets, which are bustling with activity as all little villages always are. The crowd of extras is made up of humans and Irkens alike and no one seems to notice or care. Through the crowd, Tak comes walking out in her Irken form, all dressed-up fancy-like in purple and black, with her usual scowl on.]
Tak: [calling back over her shoulder] Hurry up, girls!! We've got three more stores to hit before lunch!
[Camera pans up above Tak a little ways and we see, pushing their way through the crowd, come Red and Purple, both dressed up in frilly dresses of their respective colors. They both also have wigs of their respective colors, each pulled up in a bun. A few strands are hanging loose in their faces, showing that they've been shopping all morning.]
Red: [grunts as the break though the crowd into a bit of a clearing] Coming, Mother! [then whispering to Purple] How did we get stuck with these parts??
Purple: [shrugs] Oh, I dunno. I don't really mind. Besides, I think that dress is rather slimming on you.
Red: Really??
Tak: [marches back over to them] Girls!! We have no time to waste with idle chit-chat! Now come along! [Red & Purple start to walk off, but stop when Tak says] Wait…where's Gazella??
Purple: I don't know, Mother. I haven't seen her since the mad rush over at the Stop and Spend.
Red: Yeah. She's always wandering off. She probably stopped to drool over the new Game Slave 3. [he and Purple snicker]
Tak: Oooohhh…that girl… [walks over and wacks them both in the shins with her purse] I'll have none of that un-lady-like snickering! [she spins around, scanning the crowd] GAZELLA!!! Where are you?!?!
Gaz: [appears next to her, seemingly out of nowhere. She's dressed in purple and gray rags, and is towing behind her a flat board on wheels which is stacked with packages, boxes and bags] I'm right here. What do you want?
Tak: [shaking a finger at Gaz] Don't you take that tone with me young lady!! Now come along. And don't let me catch you lagging behind again! [walks off in a huff]
[Red and Purple snicker again, stick their tongues out at Gaz and follow after their mother. Gaz is left alone. She begins following at a slower pace, dragging the baggage behind her. The music for the first musical number starts.]
"The Sweetest Thing"
Gaz: The lamest script I'll ever read is here inside my head.
The cruelest words I'll ever know are waiting to be said.
The most exciting part of all is yet for me to read.
And the best payroll I'll ever get is waiting somewhere for me.
It's waiting somewhere…somewhere for me…
[Cut to a different part of the village square, where Zim is wandering around, dressed as a commoner, taking in the sights and sounds and smells.]
Zim: The lamest script I'll ever read is here inside my head.
The cruelest words I'll ever know are waiting to be said.
The most exciting part of all is yet for me to read.
And the best payroll I'll ever get is waiting somewhere for me.
It's waiting somewhere…somewhere for me…
[The song continues in the same fashion as the two wander closer to each other without noticing it. The song becomes a round and as Gaz goes to finish her last line…CRASH!!! They collide!! Both fall backwards, a few of Gaz's packages tumble off the cart.]
Zim: [sitting up, rubbing his head] What's the big idea!?!
Gaz: Me?? Why don't you watch where you're going??
Sam: [off screen] What are you doing? You're supposed to like each other!!
Zim: Yes, yes. We're getting to that.
[They both stand up and stare at each other for a moment.]
Gaz: Who are you? I've never seen you around here before.
Zim: Me? Well…I…um…er…I mean…I AM ZIM!!! [pumps his fists in the air]
Gaz: Um…Ok…I'm Gaz…ella.
Zim: Gazella?
Gaz: Yeah…my dad was some sort of nature nut…
Zim: Oh…ok…Well…um…
Tak: [walking up behind them and shouting from a short distance] GAZELLA!!! What have I told you about talking to strangers!! [behind her, Red and Purple snicker again]
Gaz: Yes, Stepmother. [to Zim] I gotta go. See you around. [hurries off after Tak and the Stepsisters]
Zim: [watches her go, and then walks off, singing the final line of the song] And the best payroll I'll ever get is waiting somewhere for me. It's waiting somewhere…somewhere for me… [he walks out of the square to where a gilded coach is waiting, climbs into it and yells] Take me to, THAT WAY!! [the coach takes off]
[From the middle of the square, Gaz turns back and watches Zim ride away. Looking dejected, she hurries after her Step-relatives.] [Cut To Commercials]