Working in the Market

Their latest job had them taking over a small super market.

The plan was to take business away from their marks' father's shop so he'd come out of hiding and possibly make himself a little more touchable.

Thing was things rarely ever went according to plan...

"What do you mean it's still fatty?" Eliot all but growled as he glared at a thirty some year old woman from behind the meat counter.

"I mean.." She spoke slowly clearly thinking him stupid. "I want you to cut off *all* the fat.." She dared smile at him. "You know all those white bits."

"Where do you think the moisture comes from?" He grumbled as he pulled the package back toward himself. "But by all means if you want your steak to be as tough as fried sneakers."

"Did you say something?" She questioned knowingly.

With a shit faced smile and a tightened grip on a newly found cleaver he offered, "Yes ma'am."

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Over in another corner of the store Parker was having her own troubles at "Customer Service"

"Can I help you?" It was the last thing she wanted to do but the other choices had been even worse.

"Yes... I was wondering if I could get a rain check for the dill pickles you have on sale... the guy in back said you're out and wont be getting more until after the sale ends."

"There's no more pickles back there?" Parker was skeptical of that.

"Only whole ones... I wanted the spears." The guy offered matter of factly.

"Do you not own a knife?" He looked taken aback. "Really man.. get the whole ones and cut them in fourths, then you'll have your spears!"

"Excuse me?"

"Hey sometimes you win, sometimes you lose.." Parker shrugged as he stormed off.

Seconds later the phone rang and she answered with a monotone, "Thank you for calling Fred's Fresh mart, This is Mandy speaking.. now what do you want?"

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"Hello" Sophie smiled brightly from behind her cash register. "Did you find everything alright today?"

"I sure did." An elderly woman smiled as she began taking things out of her cart.

"That's good, any coupons today?"

"No not today."

"Would you like help putting things up?" Sophie questioned as a glance to the right told her she had a bit of a line forming.

"No thank you dear."

Five minutes later she had finally been given the last of the groceries to scan and was now waiting on the woman to pay. "You know what.." Sophie offered as the woman victoriously showed that she had found another... penny! "I didn't even notice until now, you are the hundredth customer. It's on the house!"

If she thought it would get the woman moving any faster she thought wrong as she began crying out her thank you's.

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"What aisle are the vegetable chips in?" Hardison nearly dropped his box of soups for the sudden noise behind his right ear. "The chip aisle?"

"You see that's what I thought but I didn't find them there."

"I'm pretty sure that's where they are." Hardison offered again as he set his box down.

"So you don't know then?" The accusation was annoying as hell.

"Tell you what.. lets go look together and see if we can't find 'em."

"I don't want an escort just a location.
How do you even have a job here if you don't know where your items are?"

"I jus.." He was momentarily shocked into silence.

Shaking her head she walked away with a mumbled, "They might as well have hired a monkey."

"I..." He was so flustered he couldn't even respond accurately.

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"Do I have any microwavable pork chops!" He couldn't believe his ears.

"Yeah.. I found the microwavable burgers, and the chicken patties... I was just wondering if you had any pork products for the microwave."

"Boy.." The things he had heard so far were pretty up there but this had to take the cake. "Go on.. just... go.. get out of here." Still he stared until Eliot barked. "Get!"

"Microwavable pork chops?" His assistant butcher just shook his head as Eliot watched the boy go. "There's a kid making his mama proud."

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"You need help with something?" Parker questioned through a mouth full of gum.

"My wine bottle dropped outside the doors and the cart boy said you'd be able to replace it for me."

"Let me get this right.." Parker started as the woman pushed her receipt over. "*You* broke *your* wine bottle outside but you want *me* to replace it?"

"Yeah it was a.." Parker pulled the receipt away from her as the woman pointed toward her purchase.

"I don't care what it was.. you ever heard of you break it you buy it?
You bought it, you broke it, your problem not mine." She didn't understand why these people thought they should be reimbursed for their clumsiness.

"You know what, I'd like to speak to your manager."

"Sure.. no problem, I'll get right on that." Parker rolled her eyes as she lifted the phone. "Hey Na.. Max there's a..." She listened for a moment before hanging up the phone. "He said to tell you... I mean he's not here right now."

She didn't see why but she would have sworn the lady's eyes were about to pop out of her head as she stormed away. "You have a nice day!"

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"And how are you today sir?" Sophie forced a smile as she tried to ignore the aching of her feet and the itching of the cheap polo she'd been forced to wear.

"I've got a question for you."

She sighed inwardly in preparation, "Ask away."

"These cans here are 89 cents each" He started as he put three cans of diced tomatoes on the conveyor belt. "But this can here is the same amount for $2.59."

"So you want three cans for the price of one?" Sophie tried to understand a question he hadn't actually asked.

"Either way it's 64oz. but this way I'd save 8 cents."

"So why not just get the big can?" He looked absolutely insulted.

"Because I need three littler ones!"

Taking a closer look at the cans Sophie sighed again this time outwardly, "But there not even the same brand."

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"No running in the store!" Alec called after some unruly kids before going to pick up the card stand they had knocked over.

He hadn't even gotten half finished before they were zooming back around the corner. "Hey no..."

"running in the store!" They mocked before running away in an echo of their own laughter.

"Damn kids." Hardison grumbled as he absently wondered what kind of parents were raising such little monsters. "They got no respect for nothin'."

"James why isn't aisle four stocked yet?" His floor manager came out of nowhere more demanding than questioning.

"Cause I was taking inventory in aisle three." Did he not remember ordering him to do that very thing not twenty minutes ago.

"I don't want excuses just results.. now get to it!" It took a clenched fist and a bitten lip to hold his thoughts in but he mostly managed.

"Hey James!" Hardison turned to look at the only guy that had treated him decently since his arrival.

"Yeah Billy?" He questioned as he moved toward him.

"I'm gonna be breaking but I pulled your load around.. it's waiting for ya."

"Thanks man." Hardison clamped a hand on the guys shoulder in appreciation before moving to start his task.

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As active manager Nate was doing store rounds to see how his associates and more importantly team were doing.

Produce seemed all neat and clear.

Bakery looked as smooth as the icing on the cakes.

Seafood... the product really looked like it had been swimming mere hours ago.

Now Customer Service was a different story entirely.
He had walked past just as Parker wished a crying customer a good day.
He could only hope she hadn't caused those tears.

Then came the front end where Sophie was doing her best to keep manners as she was chewed out for trying to enforce the rules of the sales paper. He had to hand it to her for actually caring and not simply giving the store away.

He wasn't worried about the meat department... that was until he found Eliot threatening to deep fry some guys face if he dared to try deep frying veil. It took a months worth of coupons and a free chuck roast to defuse that situation.

Grocery was last to check but he couldn't seem to find Hardison.
He was hoping it was because he was so hard at work but he doubted he'd get that lucky.

No one he asked seemed to know so he simply started a floor search.
He had passed eight aisles before his eyes finally landed on the figure he had been searching for.
They also settled on the little boy that was intently creeping behind him.

Before he could usher a warning the little boy shouted "Boo" punching Hardison in the back of the knee as he did so.
Within seconds he was tumbling off his step stool, falling to the floor with a barely there, "oof."

Nate didn't even bother going his way as he shook his head and continued on.

It was probably for the best those four never had real 9-5's.

E/N: Any of you worked retail?
You're the one's that know exactly where I'm coming from, lol.
Hope you got a laugh!