How to Make a Human Being – Chapter 6

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Author's Notes:

Sorry about the time between chapters. I'm really trying, honest :D I'm going with minimal notes, so as not to overload the reader.

So enjoy chapter Six… Please :D

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Title: How to Make a Human Being
Genre: Short Story
Author: PitViper 08/09/02
Chapter2: 08/13/02
Chapter3: 08/18/02 modified v2 - 08/19/02
Chapter4: 09/22/02 continued – 12/03/02
Chapter5: 12/28/02
Chapter6: 06/05/05 – continued 7/12/05

Synopsis: Many believe that the character of Rei Ayanami is bound in steel to her duty – She accepts nothing into her life that is not related to Eva or Angels. This is the story of how a few small changes can make a big difference.

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How to Make a Human Being: Chapter 6: Mirrors Often Shatter

August 24th 2030 – 7:15am.

It is said that there are certain points during the day and the evening that a person drops their guard – allows their true-selves to be seen. For some this is while they are asleep. For others – this is while they are eating; and for others still – it is while they are too indulged in other things to care about what they show to the world.

"The world often puts obstacles in our paths…" Rei remembered as she set the table before her. "How we deal with those obstacles determines who we are, and who we will become. When you look in the mirror, you see the reflection of yourself – it's hard to lie to yourself when you are doing this. It requires some doing – to be able to look in a mirror and be happy with what you see. Many people simply cannot do this thing because self-honesty is a very rare commodity indeed. If all humans were capable of looking into a mirror at their true-selves, perhaps the world would not be so harsh a place to exist in."

As Rei continued to arrange the place-settings, she heard Asuka come down the stairs. "You will be able to see those who cannot face themselves in the mirror. It's not just your gift for being who and what you are – it's the mere fact that people always give hints as to what lies beneath the surface of their flesh." Yui's voice echoed gently in Rei's mind as she watched the Second Child's weary steps. "You can see it, plain as day – their ghosts will haunt them during their sleep, or while they are eating, or most especially while they are drunk."

Rei watched as Asuka poured herself a glass of orange juice. There were dark circles under her eyes, and it did not appear that the Second Child had a very comfortable sleep. As Shinji entered the room and noticed Asuka, the hair on Rei's neck began to stand up. She could almost feel the change in him. 'He had told me he loved her…' Rei thought in confusion. So why now did she notice fear in his form?

Ayanami often noticed that the second child and Misato Katsuragi shared the same vice – a tendency to overindulge in alcoholic beverages. While this was commonplace for the often-inebriated Commander of NERV - it was becoming more and more an issue with the highly unstable Second Child. As she noticed the sliver flask that had been a gift from Misato to Asuka – she frowned. Asuka was adding what was undoubtedly alcohol to her morning Orange Juice. 'Perhaps the answer points to itself…' Rei thought.

Noticing Rei's glare, the Second Child became very haughty. 'How dare she look at me like that!' Her eyes challenged Rei's and (if such a thing were possible) her nose turned up in a snooty 'I'm holier than thou' expression of superiority. "It's a traditional Japanese breakfast." She stated firmly, no longer attempting to hide the fact that she was adding alcohol to her drink. She proceeded to pour even more of the flask's contents into the orange juice.

Rei quickly glanced to Shinji, whose eyes nearly instantaneously turned to the table in contemplation of the wood grain. Her eyes turned back to her guest, gathering as much disapproval as possible, "Misato-san's tradition, perhaps. But…" 'How could I not have noticed before?' She thought to herself.

"Look Rei, I have it under control. I can stop when I want to." Asuka said, her lip twitching slightly.

Rei picked up the slight eccentricity. 'More and more this happens. Was it just last week that Shinji was taken to the hospital with a broken nose? And two months prior that he tripped and fell down the stairs breaking his arm in three places?' Rei looked at Shinji, looking for more signs of abuse or injury. She saw nothing, but that didn't mean that the wounds were not there. 'If it were not for NERV's excellent medical technology, the Third Child would have been a morass of injuries and contusions.' Rei thought darkly about these things as she noticed that Asuka had emptied her glass of modified orange juice.

"Maybe I should wake up the children…" Shinji offered rather meekly. He could feel the confrontation building; and thought that if the children were awake, they could mitigate matters. After all, part of the reason he had brought Asuka and the children here was so that someone else could see the trouble that was brewing. However, he could feel the hostility brewing between Rei and Asuka… but for the life of him he could not understand why.

Rei studied Shinji again suddenly, 'He has not acted like this since… since the Angel wars.' Still, "No, Shinji… let them sleep. They are tired… and they are children. In this house they will always be allowed to be what we were not allowed to be."

Shinji smiled slightly at this. "Of course," he said, knowing that this would trigger a rant from Asuka.

"Eh, Baka! Why should they have it easy? After all, we're the ones grinding ourselves to the bone day in and day out." Asuka said, finally giving up pretext and drinking directly from her flask. "And your lazy ass… I don't know why Wondergirl here doesn't kick it like I do!"

Rei became irritated, "Sohryu… Perhaps you should cease your consumption of alcohol? It is making you say and do things…"

"You're not about to tell me what to do Wondergirl." Asuka sneered. "So why don't you just shove it up where the sun don't shine!"

Rei visibly winced at the tone in the German's voice. "Enough…" She whispered then she left the room. Rei couldn't help but notice the satisfied smirk on the Second Children's face as she did so. She walked through the kitchen door and let it shut behind her. She sighed for a moment, resting against the door frame.

After a few breaths, Ayanami picked up the kitchen phone and called NERV, placing a call directly to the Commander's line. After a few seconds, an exhausted voice answered, "Misato speaking…"

Rei smiled slightly, "Good morning Commander Katsuragi…" She could almost hear the cringe on the other end of the line.

"Rei… how many times do I have to tell you…" Misato's voice trailed off.

A slight giggle left Rei's lips, and Misato knew that Rei had done it intentionally.

"That's not fair. Especially at this time of the morning…" Misato lectured, "So what's up?"

"Well, Misato-san, it's… the Second." Rei said hesitantly.

"You haven't called Asuka 'the second' in years…" Misato wondered aloud.

"And she hasn't called me Wondergirl in the same amount of time," Rei clarified, trying to keep the hurt out of her voice. "But this morning… she did."

Misato's voice was worried, "But why would she…"

Rei interrupted her, "A morning ritual… much like your own."

Misato's voice became harsh, "She's been drinking… again."

"She's already consumed several… drinks," Rei informed her solemnly. "I am also noticing that Shinji isn't acting normally…"

"Look Rei, don't go reading too much into this…"

Rei could almost hear the pleading tone in her voice. 'She knows…' she thought to herself. Rei's eyes narrowed, "She needs help."

"Please just forget about this. I told Shinji it was a bad idea to come and see you." Misato paused for a few moments before attempting to reassure Rei, "Shinji will help her." Misato stated softly.

'There is something very wrong here…' Rei thought as she considered the possibilities. Rei's voice became tinged with anger, "How? By being her punching bag?"

"But…"

"And when she turns on her children?" Rei interrupted the Major's thoughts.

"I…" The Commander was interrupted again.

"How many broken bones does NERV have to reknit in order for the truth to be realized?"

Misato sighed, "Why couldn't she have just been a functional, happy drunk?"

"Like you?" Rei challenged.

"That's not fair." Misato muttered.

Rei sighed, "Life rarely is. She needs help, Misato-san."

"We… I can't." Misato admitted sadly. Then her voice became stern, "I'm ordering you not to interfere."

Rei blinked, "Excuse me?"

"You heard me Rei. You're not to interfere with Asuka's interactions with Shinji. Am I clear?"

"I don't believe…" Rei started, and then she was cut off by the Commander.

"You don't understand. There are… things you don't know: Things that you cannot interfere with." Misato let out a sigh, "I know you want to help him Rei. I know… but you can't. Nobody can."

"Will you at least tell me why?" Rei asked at a whisper.

Misato became stern again, "No. You don't have the clearance to know."

'Clearance… Orders…' Rei thought about these things while Misato issued more orders.

"I didn't want to have to do this Rei… but it seems I have no choice." Misato paused for a moment, then continued – "You are to cease all contact with Shinji and Asuka and their children effective immediately." Misato practically growled out.

"No…" Rei whispered again.

"I'm sorry. It's out of my hands. If you refuse to comply, I'll have you incarcerated until you decide to obey."

"I…. I'll… I'll comply." Rei forced out. "Ma'am." For the second time in her life, she lied to a superior officer… and to her friend.

Misato sighed in relief. "I'm sorry… I have my orders too."

"Yes Commander." Rei said emotionlessly, as she hung up the phone – Misato still calling her name as the handset clicked on the holder.

'I cannot allow this… I cannot let this continue… Shinji… I love him. I cannot stand by and watch as he is hurt…' These thoughts continued as she walked over to the cupboards. She poured some tea she had made earlier into two cups, knowing that Asuka would be nursing her own drinks.

Just then, the door to the kitchen opened, admitting Shinji. "Rei… what's wrong?"

"Nothing…" Rei said quietly. Focusing on preparing the tea. Then she shook her head, she couldn't lie to him: "Everything…" She turned around to face Shinji.

"Rei…" Shinji started, but she stared into his eyes and cut him off.

"I need to know what is happening with you." She asked him, her red eyes glistening with tears.

Shinji sighed. "You mean with Asuka and me." It was a statement of fact. "Over the last year or so, she's been different. Very, very different. She drinks, all the time. The children are starting to become afraid of her. You've seen… seen how she was this morning. Yesterday was a good day. This morning wasn't even that bad. But on the worst days…"

"On the worst days she hurts you." Rei finished for him. "You should know, Shinji… Misato just ordered me to cease all contact with you."

His eyes widened. "What?" He asked with a whisper.

"She said I was not to interfere with you and Asuka. And I, evidently, don't have the clearance to be told why…"

Shinji stared at her, "But…" He started, but was interrupted by a commotion.

The kitchen door burst open, and unleashed an irate Asuka Langley Sohryu upon the kitchen's occupants. "Idiot. We're leaving now!"

Shinji's eyes became even wider as he noticed the furious look on Asuka's face. "But…"

Asuka walked over and slapped him, "Remember your place, Stooge! Now go get the kids!"

In another time or place, Shinji Ikari might have had the strength to resist that order. But time had not been kind to him, and he reverted to more placating ways. Shinji nodded and left the room, glancing back at Rei sadly. As soon as he cleared the door, Rei turned her attention to Asuka. All she saw was a fist heading towards her face.

Even with her finely tuned reflexes and unnatural agility, she was unable to avoid the blow. The haymaker put her on the floor of the kitchen, a bruise forming on the side of her face.

"Serves you right." She spat, rubbing her fist, "What did you think? That Misato wouldn't tell me you called her to rat me out behind my back? You're an idiot, Just like Shinji. And to think I was actually looking forward to visiting you!" Asuka spat as she spoke, saliva scattering in the air.

"You're sick." Rei said, "You need help."

"Bah! What do you know? Not much, that's for sure. Maybe you should have tried to maintain a higher profile at NERV. Lousy, good for nothing…. You've just been here, mooching off all us hard working people. This house, the things you have in it. You don't deserve any of it!" She took out her flask, "You don't have to deal with the crap I do!" She took a swig of whatever was in it, "Don't have to face what I have to face."

Part of Rei's mind screamed out in protest. "Do you believe you are the only one to carry pain?" Her stare impaled Asuka, forcing her to step back a bit. "Do you believe you know pain?"

"What, you do?" Asuka asked with a sharp, disbelieving laugh.

"I do." Rei confirmed. "And so does Shinji. Our pain… our burdens… you will never understand them."

"Luckily for me…" Asuka said, "I don't have to." She pulled out a nine millimeter pistol. "See this, First? It's a Glock. Nine Millimeter with hollow point rounds. If I pull this trigger, then your burden and my irritation disappear."

Rei's eyes narrowed as anger began to fill her. "You dare to point a weapon at me?" She didn't know if Asuka knew what she was capable of, but the mere fact that the weapon was directed at her… 'We are friends.' She reminded herself.

Asuka smirked, "You know you're not 'replaceable' any more. So are you still not afraid of death, First?"

"There are things worse than death." Rei warned, and then thought to herself: 'And I am one of those things.'

Asuka pointed the gun away and let out a grim chuckle, "I guess threatening you is pointless. But listen to me carefully, First. Come near Shinji, My children, or me ever again, and I will blow your brains out."

"The Asuka I know would never say or do these things." Rei told her. 'Something has happened… she's… insane.'

Asuka shrugged, "She died a while ago. She didn't know who and what you really were. I do, First." She went to the kitchen's outside door and opened the locks. "I didn't want to believe it; but, you're really just a man-stealing bitch!"

Rei's eyes widened in shock at the accusation just as the back door opened admitting several Section Two agents. They came in immediately and pointed their weapons at Rei.

Asuka took her time in holstering her weapon. "Just remember First. You are quickly becoming persona non gratis. Try not to screw up again, otherwise these gentlemen will teach you a lesson."

Asuka turned quickly and walked out the door to the kitchen, slamming it closed behind her.

One of the Section Two agents stepped forward and spoke: "Ms. Ayanami. As of this morning you are to cease all contact with the Ikari's. Your phone will be tapped and you will be kept under twenty-four hour surveillance. Any deviation or disregard of these orders – whether accidental or intentional – will result in your immediate incarceration or termination. Is this understood?"

Rei's eyes narrowed on the short but muscular agent who was speaking. He took a step back. "I heard you clearly, Agent Tanaka."

The man swallowed as Rei's eyes went through each of the other men in the room. Still he was not completely done regurgitating the Commander's orders, "In addition, your pilot status is being revoked effective immediately." After a few seconds he added, "I'm sorry."

"Are you finished?" She asked. The agent nodded in the affirmative. "Now leave my domicile." She instructed, her gaze falling back on agent Tanaka.

The man gulped again, "Ma'am… we can't leave until we're sure that the Second and Third Children, and their offspring have been cleared from the building."

"I am not even allowed to say goodbye?" Rei asked, already knowing the answer.

"My orders are to subdue you should you try to interfere with their departure or communicate with them before they leave. My orders include permission for StK; Per Commander Katsuragi."

"She ordered you to shoot to kill?"

"Affirmative." Tanaka replied in an emotionless monotone.

Rei's eyes went to the door, then back to the men. "You are aware, Agent Tanaka, that I can kill your entire squad before your heart completes its next beat?" Rei watched as the men gripped their weapons tightly, "And I'm sure that Commander Ikari informed you when you were first assigned to my guard that your weapons would have no effect on me?" One of the agents gasped when he heard this. Tanaka simply bowed his head.

"Ma'am… I've spent the last seventeen years protecting you. I know what I'm up against. But you do know I would have to try."

"Commander Ikari always chose loyal officers to protect his most guarded secrets." Rei said, looking at him with a kinder face, "You know I would not wish to cause you harm."

"The feeling is mutual, Ma'am." Tanaka said.

Just then, another Section Two agent entered the room from the kitchen. He wore a slightly graying goatee and his hair was longish, tied back into a ponytail. His sharp eyes scanned the rest of the room and fell on the man in charge of Rei's Section Two contingent. "We're clear." He stated, his voice carrying an unusual edge.

Tanaka looked at the agent strangely, "I don't think we've met…"

The man smiled, "Smith. Agent Smith."

Tanaka chuckled, looking the obviously Japanese man over: "You certainly don't look like a 'Smith'."

Agent Smith laughed slightly, "Whatever." He looked around the room then confronted Tanaka again, "I got my mother's looks and my stepfather's name. Sue me." Agent Smith shrugged helplessly.

Tanaka nodded, "I need to see your ID…"

Agent Smith tossed Tanaka his card, already having it in hand. "I was just hired about three weeks ago. I was assigned to training, and yesterday I got added to Asuka's detail."

Tanaka scrutinized the card, and looked at the man before him several times before tossing it back. "A little old to be just starting in this business…"

Smith laughed, analyzing the caught card himself. "Well, it's not my first gig… but I couldn't exactly put down most of my references."

"You have that air around you…" Tanaka noted, and then turned to Ayanami… "We'll be on our way."

Rei nodded and watched as the men filed out of the room. Agent Smith lagged behind. Rei turned her attention to him once the door was shut. Inwardly she smiled as she recognized the man posing as a newly hired Section Two agent. "So Agent Kaji, it would appear that you are 'back in town.'"

Kaji froze, his eyes locked on Rei. "How?" Evidently he thought his disguise was very good – his facial features had been significantly altered. Asuka hadn't even given him a second glance when he spoke with her in the dining area. 'Not that she would have recognized me anyways… I could smell the alcohol on her breath.'

"My nature allows me to see many things, Agent Kaji. Hiding your true self from me is next to impossible." Rei got up off the floor. "So have you contacted Misato yet?"

Kaji blinked, and then smiled, "It seems that the years have taught you to loosen up a bit…" He noticed her eyes narrowing on him, and then chuckled nervously, "I mean, at least a little bit."

"Your charms will not work on me." Rei stated bluntly. "I'll assume that you have not contacted Commander Katsuragi." She got up off the floor. The bruise on her face was already healing. In a few minutes there would be no trace of it at all. She sighed and went to the two cups of tea. "Why are you here?"

"SEELE is at it again. I was tracking the last one: Kihl. He's nearly impossible to corner and, it would appear, explosion proof." Kaji said, leaning against a counter and breathing deeply in frustration. "I thought I got him, but after about three months, I saw signs that he was rebuilding his networks again."

"You would have been the cause then of the large explosion in Rome? That one that the church claims destroyed several sacred artifacts…" Rei mused.

Ryoji Kaji blinked at that, "The church was keeping that quiet… how did you know?"

Rei finished preparing the two cups of tea, and offered one to Kaji. "My apologies, the tea is no longer warm." She went to the kitchen chair and sat, "And I know because I have access to classified files in NERV."

"How… you didn't choose to accept a command level…" Kaji's eyes widened, "You're using Gendo's codes."

"Very perceptive," Rei acknowledged. "For the past several months my access to NERV has become more and more restricted. The last time I inquired about the location of Yui Ikari… I was told that they didn't have her current location." Rei took a sip of her tea. "NERV never loses anyone, especially not the creator of the Evangelion."

"And, that set you off on your own quest to find the truth." The former spy looked around, "Aren't you worried…" He glanced at the smoke alarm on the far wall.

Rei's eyebrow rose slightly, "I do not have a direct monitor order. My domicile is free of audio and visual surveillance. Not even Commander Katsuragi would be foolish enough to implement something like that. The nightmares alone that I have could contain enough information to damn everyone in NERV a thousand times over."

Kaji took a gulp of his luke-warm tea, finding it surprisingly good. "I see. So, while they will watch you and track you outside your home until you're a hundred and eight, there are no listening devices here."

Rei inclined her head slightly.

"I think Kihl has his tendrils back into NERV." Kaji blurted out. He needed a partner in crime, and so far Rei was the only person he'd met that had the ability to get him information – Even if that ability was being progressively stripped away from the young girl.

"He has always been influencing NERV. He seeks an escape from the punishment he must endure." Rei informed him. After all, few people knew the nature of the curse that Kihl's soul was forced to suffer.

"What punishment is that?" Kaji asked, wondering what could possibly threaten the most powerful man in the world.

Rei stared at her cup for a few moments. After all, revelation was something to be taken carefully and slowly. She decided on the direct approach, since a long and boring preamble would not suit the former Spy's patience. "He cannot die," Rei stated softly, sipping from her now cold tea.

Kaji stared at her for a few moments, and then set the cup of tea down. "I think I need a drink…" He muttered to himself as he realized that Rei was speaking the truth.

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Author's Notes:

I hope you enjoyed the latest entry to this story. I know most everyone has believed that I've given up. I assure you I haven't. It's just that life is a very difficult thing to live when you have so much going on at once. I'm glad I was able to find some precious time to update this and I hope it fits with the previous chapters well... Its a big surprise, but I did say that there was as much of the story to tell in 2030 as there was in 2015. I hope this is bringing up the intrigue a bit and is pleasant to read. As always comments and criticisms are warmly invited. (gets out his asbestos pajamas)

Later,
PitViper (pvalpha (at) yahoo (dot) com)