A/N: This is my very first South Park fanfic. No flames, please.
Disclaimer: The rights to South Park belong to Matt and Trey.
Kyle Broflovski has always been a very sensitive child. He was very much unlike his father, Gereld, save for the fact he had a dick and his last name was Broflovski. Other than that, he really was not like his father whatsoever. His father always had tried to get Kyle into the things that he himself liked. Football, basketball...but Kyle simply did not like sports. In fact, the things that he did like were not anything his father liked. Kyle Broflovski liked decorating, making arts and crafts, he didn't really like things that other boys his age liked. One of his best friends, a girl named Wendy Testaburger, would randomly dress him up in her clothes, since they were the same age.
Gereld walked in on them playing one day and Kyle was covered in make-up and was wearing Wendy's frilly outfits. He hasn't seen his her in awhile. He thought that everything would change when he went to high school, but it has just gotten worse. He was horrible at math, whereas his father had excelled. He loved care of history, which his father had hated. It was one of his favorite classes. He didn't have any friends, really. He was constantly teased for being so effeminate.
The other kids would pick on him, push him around, call him horrible names, like faggot and queer. Kyle just didn't seem to fit in anywhere. It was when the bullying got so horrible that he first thought about It. It was the day they actually beat him up and threw him into the girl's bathroom. He was pretty banged up. He didn't know when it would happen, but it'd be soon if they didn't stop. It didn't stop, however, and the bullying actually worsened.
His grades, as a result, fell, and his hopes of ever pleasing his father fell with them. The only person that kept him sane anymore was his friend Stan. Stan Marsh was gorgeous. He was Kyle's Super Best Friend, Wendy's ex-boyfriend, and such a strong individual. He had never really been bothered with what other kids said to him, and he told a lot of the kids to fuck off. Stan was the one who rescued him from the other classmates.
"How do you like that, huh, faggot?" One boy yelled as he kicked Kyle in the side.
"He must love it, a boy's touching him!" jeered another, which sounded oddly like Eric Cartman.
"Please, God, just let me die." Kyle thought.
It was then that Stan had intervened.
"Hey! What are you doing?" he accused, marching right up to them. The boys quickly turned on him, as well.
"Oh, look. Another fag."
Stan had quickly shut their mouths by fighting them. Kyle, who had been beaten nearly senseless, had missed the whole thing. He hoped Stan had given them what-for. When he opened his eyes again, he was in the nurse's room. Nurse Gollum was tending to his wounds. She had transferred to the high school a year before Stan and Kyle started going there. They hadn't seen her in awhile, and it still kinda freaked out Kyle to see the dead fetus on her head. Stan was sitting in a chair nearby.
"Hey. You're awake." he said.
Kyle sat up. "Yeah. I guess. Where...what happened?"
"Don't worry about those boys again. I told the principal. They shouldn't bother you anymore, dude."
Kyle half-smiled. "Thanks, Stan." he said.
"No problem." he smiled.
Kyle bit his lip. He wanted to ask, but...
"Go ahead. Ask." Stan said, as if he could read Kyle's mind.
"Um...was it true...what they said? Are you also...?"
"Gay? Yeah, I am. They have no business treating you that way. It's unforgivable." he said.
"Don't you get teased, too?" Kyle asked.
Stam grimaced. "Sometimes. But...I have a pretty big family. People know not to mess with me too much or else my sister'll drag her ass down from collage and kill them." Stan grinned.
Kyle smiled. "Wish I had friends like that...hell, I wish I had friends, period."
Stan smiled back. "You can borrow my family." he laughed. "And you do have one."
"One what?"
"A friend." Stan said.
"What? Who?" Kyle asked, oblivious.
Stan grinned even wider. "Well, me, of course! Dude, we're the best of friends! We're super best friends! I couldn't ask for a better friend." Stan smiled.
Kyle blushed. Why was his face so red? It wasn't hot in here...
"Thanks, dude." Kyle said.
Stan pulled him into an embrace, and Kyle felt his face go even hotter.
Someone needed to turn on the air conditioner.
Kyle was released from nurse's office later that day. He decided to skip his last few classes and go straight home. He knew that the boys were not going to let up. Even with his best friend Stan, Kyle wasn't sure if he could deal with the harassment...the never being good enough...being the one that no one loves...even his father had never outright told him that he loved Kyle. Kyle just saw himself as one of his family's biggest disappointments.
"Hey fag!" called a voice.
Kyle groaned. Why on earth did he think that this would stop? Even if he was friends with Stan...it's not like Stan could be there for him 24/7, so it's not like the harassment would get any better...that really didn't change much. The fact was, Kylewas still going to be bullied and harassed by these stupid kids everyday. Apparently one punishment wasn't enough for them.
That was the second time he thought about It. While they were beating the crap out of him.
He didn't know why he didn't just act on his instinct. Maybe it was because he had a friend...a best friend...a friend that would care if he just up and...well, you know. Things couldn't be all that bad, right? Well...that's what he told himself anyway.
Over the Christmas holidays, but Hannakuh for the Broflovski family, Gereld tried to bond with his son. Kyle found this to be not only unwanted, but sort of sardonically amusing. He'd never really cared about Kyle's interests before, why on earth should he start now?
Gereld tried, bless him. He started talking about the latest fashion designs and whatnot, but he really had no idea what he was talking about. His conversations also seemed to revert to football. In some way, football became the forefront of their conversations.
"Quite an outfit the Cubs are wearing this year, huh, Kyle?" Gereld asked.
"Sure." Kyle responded tersely.
He didn't really care. It was about football anyway.
Gereld was trying, bless him, he really was...but he seemed unable to connect with Kyle the way he had wanted to.
"Why don't you like football, son?" his father asked him.
"Dunno." Kyle responded. "I've just never found it that interesting." he told his father.
"Not that interesting? You're a boy, Kyle! Boys like football! Not all this...gay stuff."
Kyle looked at his father in disbelief. He'd gone there. Gay stuff. Like it was WRONG to be the way he was. Like it was a bad thing to be gay. Kyle got up and went upstairs to his bedroom without saying a word to his father, slamming the door behind him.
The next day, Kyle decided to come out to his family. It was at dinner when Kyle decided to make his announcement.
"Um...Mom...Dad..Ike..."
"Yes, dear?" Sheila asked.
"Um...well...I have something I'd like to say..." he began.
"Go on, dear..." his mother encouraged.
"I'm...gay." Kyle said.
Gereld dropped his fork, and Sheila looked shocked.
"Kyle...are you sure? I mean..." Sheila tried to say.
"Yes, I'm sure, mom. I've been gay my whole life. It's just...I can't keep it a secret anymore."
"Does that mean you're a fag?" Ike asked.
Kyle looked at his brother. "Don't call me that!" he yelled.
"Kyle...I can't...I just...excuse me." Gereld said.
"Bubbeleh...My baby...where'd I go wrong?" Sheila cried.
"Is it Stan? Have you been hanging around him too much? He's gay, isn't he?" Gereld said.
Kyle closed his eyes. "Yes, he is, but..."
"Then it's his fault!" Gereld said.
"No, Dad! It's not his fault! You can't catch gay! God! I'm tired of being someone I not! You have to accept me for who I am or not a all!" Kyle yelled exasperated.
"Well I don't want a gay son! I won't HAVE a gay son!" Gereld yelled.
"Then you don't have a son!" Kyle yelled.
The room fell silent.
Gereld never said a word more that entire night. He just excused himself from the table and went upstairs to his bedroom. He didn't look Kyle in the eye for the rest of Christmas break. His mother was no better. She just tried to cure him of his "sickness" she called it. His parents didn't know it, but Kyle was listening to their conversation one night.
"It's not natural, Gereld. He's sick. Maybe we need to take him to a shrink." Sheila said.
"He doesn't need a shrink, he needs to get a girlfriend. Maybe if he gets one, he'll realize that he doesn't have to be gay." Gereld said.
"Perhaps both. I know a lovely young girl that's the daughter of a co-worker of mine, and I know the name of a very decent shrink.
But the daughter they'd tried to set Kyle up with had been a lesbian.
"I'm sorry..." she'd said. "I'm just not into guys..." she looked anywhere but at Kyle. Kyle smiled.
"It's alright. I'm not into girls either."
She looked up and smiled.
"Really?" she asked.
"Yeah. My parents thought I needed to get a girlfriend. That's why this was set up. Can you believe it?" Kyle sighed.
"Maybe you should just come out to them." Kayla, Kyle thought her name was, said.
Kyle rolled his eyes. "I did. This was after the fact."
Kayla sighed and shook her head, and pulled him in for a hug. "Sorry, Charlie." she said.
Kyle smirked. "Actually, my name is Kyle, not Charlie."
Kayla smacked him. "Whatever."
They actually became kind-of friends. So that was how Kyle met his second really good friend. He might even actually have to thank his parents one day.
And then came the Psychiatrist.
The shrink had suggested shock therapy. Can you believe it? SHOCK THERAPY!
After he had seen the "head doctor" was the third time Kyle considered It. And this time he came close. He started to cut. At first, just a little bit to help ease the pain. He felt that physical pain actually helped him forget his emotional pain. It was easier to deal with on the outside than on the inside. Every day seemed like a struggle to get through.
He hadn't talked to Stan in awhile. His super best friend had been trying to get in contact with him, but Kyle stayed at a distance. He was starting to notice things about his super best friend that he didn't like. Or, rather, he did like. He liked it very very much. Like his beautiful ocean blue eyes. That was the problem.
He felt lost...hopeless...His father hated him, his mother probably thought he was a freak, his brother had called him a fag...his classmates still harassed and beat him up on a daily basis...he would never be good enough...no one loved him...
Hit. "Do you like that, fag?" Cartman hit him.
"Guys are touching you. Does it turn you on now, you disgusting FAGGOT?!" Eric Cartman pulled Kyle by his hair and tied him up, throwing him into a janitor's closet. He didn't get out until the janitor came back, which was hours later.
Kyle decided that he really needed sleep. He crawled into his bed that night, trying to ignore all of the aches and bruises.
It was at that moment, lying in bed, that he decided to do it.
Tomorrow. he decided. I'll say my goodbyes. Not that anyone will care.
Tomorrow came, and with it, Kyle felt more depressed than he had ever done in his entire life. He wrote his final letter, his goodbye to everyone, in his bedside drawer. He'd come back for it later tonight.
He went to his classes, to keep up appearances. He wrote a separate goodbye to Stan, his personal savior. He knew that he would not ever have a friend as good as he was.
Stan had noticed something was up with the young Jewish boy for quite some time. He decided to approach him about it after class. Kyle didn't seem to want to say anything to him, though, as he might lose his nerve to do it after looking into Stan's big blue eyes.
Stan was really getting worried about his best friend, Kyle. He'd been avoiding him, and Stan wanted to know why. He decided that he was going to confront Kyle later. Maybe after school Stan thought.
The school day ended and the final bell rang. Kyle grabbed his books and started to walk home.
"Hey Kyle!" Stan called. But Kyle didn't turn around. Maybe he just didn't hear him or maybe he was ignoring him, but Kyle didn't respond. He simply started to walk home. He didn't want to take the bus today. He was going to take one last look at nature. The trees seemed duller, and the world even more lifeless than usual. Kyle sighed. He wouldn't be leaving much behind, then.
Kyle opened the door to his house and went up to his room. Kyle pulled out his letter and placed it on his bedside table for them to find later. Kyle grabbed the blade he had brought with him from the bathroom and proceeded to cut his wrists. He knew that the end was coming...his world was already starting to blur...just a bit more...
"Kyle?" A voice asked.
Kyle froze.
"Stan...what...what are you doing here?"
"Wh-What're you doing?" he cried, dashing forward to pull the blade from the boy's hands.
"Stan..." Kyle sobbed. "I can't take it. I just can't...I'm not strong enough. I'm not like you...I can't take it..."
Kyle collapsed onto Stan and cried. Stan then noticed how badly he had hurt him self. His wrists were badly slit, but not so much so that he couldn't be saved.
"Come on, Kyle. Let's get you to a hospital." Stan said.
"No...no...I want to die..." Kyle muttered, on the verge of unconciousness.
"You don't know what you're saying..." Stan muttered, trying his best to get the boy to follow him to the hospital. He picked up a nearby telephone and dialed 911.
"911, what's your emergency?" the operator asked.
"Yes, I have my best friend here...and he's tried to kill himself. He's still alive, but only just. He needs an ambulance now!" Stan sobbed.
"Okay, sir, please stay calm. What's the address?"
"It's 1002 Bonanza Street, South Park, CO" Stan said hurridly.
"Dispatch has been sent out. Please remain calm."
Stan then hung up the phone and went back to Kyle, who was still bleeding profusely.
"I'm unloved...useless...The world would probably even be better off without me..." Kyle was starting to lose consiousness now.
"Kyle, don't say that! That's not true! Yes...things seem bad, yes they seem hopeless. But I promise you...Whatever it is you're thinking...Whatever it is you're feeling...It's not worth it. Understand? Life gets better. This will pass. I promise you, it gets better!"
"..."
"And who on earth says you're unloved? I LOVE YOU! Why would you do this? I love you, Kyle."
Kyle looked up at Stan. "R-really? You do?" Kyle asked, his eyes struggling to stay open.
"Yeah...I do." Stan bent down and kissed him. Stan thought he saw his best friend smile before he closed his eyes completely.
"Kyle...? KYLE!" Stan screamed. Stan placed his ear to Kyle's chest. He was still alive. Barely, but still.
The paramedics arrived soon, and rushed Kyle to the hospital. The hospital was able to fix him up quite well, and Stan dared not leave his side for anything. As soon as they let Stan see him, he was right in the room, waiting for Kyle to wake up.
It was a few hours before that happened, though. Kyle woke up to a strange beeping sound. It was so annoying. What was it? Oh, yea, right. Stan had found him right when he was about to... Kyle tried not to think about that.
"Kyle?" Stan asked.
"Stan?" Kyle's voice was scratchy. "W-where am I?" Kyle asked.
"In the hospital. Don't you EVER do that again! Do you hear me? You almost gave me a heart attack! I thought I was going to lose you!" Stan had tears running down his face.
Kyle started. Tears? Stan was sad? I mean, sure, yea, maybe he would've been a bit if he died, but he hadn't. Why was Stan crying? He didn't mean that much to him, did he?
"You're...crying?" Kyle asked.
Stan wiped his tears away. "Of course I'm crying, you moron! You're an idiot! Stupid...stupid...Did you not think of what you killing yourself would do to me? How LOST I'd feel? Dude...you're my everything. If you died...I wouldn't want to live either!" Stan told him.
Kyle didn't have any words.
"I swear Kyle...I love you so much...please don't ever leave me..." Stan sobbed.
Kyle then noticed that Stan was holding his hand. He had been since he'd awoken.
"My...parents?" Kyle asked.
"Outside. You want me to get them?" Stan asked.
Kyle shook his head. "No...stay with me." Kyle said.
Stan nodded. "I will."
Kyle then remembered what had happened before he'd lost conciousness. "So...you love me?" he asked, blushing.
Stan blushed too. "More than anything. Kyle, you really don't know how badly you scared me." he said.
Kyle nodded. "I'm sorry."
He sincerely was.
Stan leaned down and kissed his lips. "Yeah. But I'll always be here for you. You should know that by now."
"So...does that mean you want to be my boyfriend? Even though I'm..."
"Kyle, if you belittle yourself one more time I swear to God..." Stan said, giving him a look.
Kyle smiled.
"And yes, I'd love to be your boyfriend." Stan said, kissing the boy on the lips once more. Kyle smiled and started to cry tears of joy.
Stan was right.
It does get better.
A/N: So? How's my first South Park fanfic? REVIEW please!