Sorry this chapter took so long, here's the story!

Annabeth POV

Jason started reading again.

Leo blamed the Windex.

"Wait, what?" I asked, confused.

"It's going to tell you," Piper replied.

He should've known better. Now his entire project - two months of work - might literally blow up in his face.

"What!" I shouted.

Leo shrunk back.

"Sorry?" He said sheepishly.

"It's fine," I said. "You didn't mean to."

He stormed around Bunker 9, cursing himself for being so stupid, while his friends tried to calm him down.

"It's okay," Jason said. "We're here to help."

"Just tell us what happened," Piper urged.

Thank goodness they'd answered his distress call so quickly. Leo couldn't turn to anyone else. Having his best friends at his side made him feel better, though he wasn't sure they could stop the disaster.

"What was the disaster?" I asked.

"It will come up somewhere," Jason told me.

"Fine."

Jason looked cool and confident as usual - all surfer-dude handsome with his blond hair and sky-blue eyes. The scar on his mouth and the sword at his side gave him a rugged appearance, like he could handle anything.

"That's a pretty accurate description," I said.

Piper stood next to him in her jeans and orange camp T-shirt. Her long brown hair was braided on one side. Her dagger Katoptris gleamed at her belt. Despite the situation, her multicolored eyes sparkled like she was trying to suppress a smile. Now that Jason and she were officially together, Pip looked like that a lot.

"Okay," Piper said. "How did this author get these descriptions?"

"Who knows," Leo replied.

Leo took a deep breath. "Okay, guys. This is serious. Buford's gone. If we don't get him back, this whole place is going to explode."

"Who's Buford?" I asked.

"You'll see," Jason answered.

Piper's eyes lost some of that smiley sparkle. "Explode? Um... okay. Just calm down and tell us who Buford is."

"Good idea," I said. "Now we can find out who Buford is."

She probably didn't do it on purpose, but Piper had this child-of-Aphrodite power called charmspeak that made her voice hard to ignore. Leo felt his muscles relaxing. His mind cleared a little.

"Fine," he said. "Come here."

He led them across the hanger door, carefully skirting some of his more dangerous projects. In his two months at Camp Half-Blood, Leo had spent most of his time at Bunker 9. After all, he'd rediscovered the secret workshop. Now it was like a second home to him. But he knew his friends still felt uncomfortable here.

He didn't blame them.

"Why?" I asked.

Jason kept reading.

Built into the side of a limestone cliff deep in the woods, the bunker was part weapons depot, part machine shop, and part underground safe house, with a little bit of Area 51-style craziness thrown in for good measure. Rows of workbenches stretched into darkness. Tool cabinets, storage closets, cages full of welding equipment, and stacks of construction material made the labyrinth of aisles so vast, Leo figured he'd only explored about ten percent of it so far. Overhead ran a series of catwalks and pneumatic tubes for delivering supplies, plus a high-tech lighting and sound system that Leo was just starting to figure out.

"Yeah!" Leo shouted. "Bunker 9 is awesome!"

"Good to know," Piper said. "Now can we keep reading?"

"Fine," Leo huffed.

A large magical banner hung over the center of the production floor. Leo had recently discovered how to change the display, like the Times Square JumboTron, so now the banner read: Merry Christmas! All your presents belong to Leo!

"I don't think anyone listened to you," Jason said. "Everyone just wanted their presents."

"What a waste of work," Leo sighed. "Now I have to reset it."

"Yeah, great for New Years and Valentines day."

"Great idea!" Leo shouted.

"Don't give him anymore ideas," I said.

"No problem."

He ushered his friends to the central staging area. Decades ago, Leo's metallic friend Festus the bronze dragon had been created here. Now, Leo was slowly assembling his pride and joy - the Argo II.

At the moment, it didn't look like much. The keel was laid - a length of Celestial bronze curved like an archer's bow, two hundred feet from bow to stern. The lowest hull planks had been set in place, forming a shallow bowl held together by scaffolding. Masts lay to one side, ready for positioning. The bronze dragon figurehead - formerly the head of Festus - sat nearby, carefully wrapped in velvet, waiting to be installed in its place of honor.

"Wow," I said. "That's pretty complicated."

"We really need more help on that thing," Jason noted.

"It's not a thing it's the Argo II and your ticket to Percy," Leo snapped.

"No need to snap," Jason said defensively. "I didn't mean to be rude."

"It's fine, man," Leo replied. "Just a bit stressed."

Jason smiled.

Most of Leo's time was spent in the middle of the ship, at the base of the hull, where he was building the engine that would run the warship.

He climbed the scaffolding and jumped into the hull. Jason and Piper followed.

"See?" Leo said.

"Maybe you should be more clear," I said.

"I will," Leo replied.

Fixed to the keel, the engine apparatus looked like a high-tech jungle gym made from pipes, pistons, bronze gears, magical disks, steam vents, electric wires, and a million other magical and mechanical pieces. Leo slid inside and pointed out the combustion chamber.

"I don't think that's clear enough," I said.

"It will get clearer," Leo said, exasperated.

It was a thing of beauty, a bronze sphere the size of a basketball, its surface bristling with glass cylinders so it looked like a mechanical starburst. Gold wires ran from the ends of the cylinders, connecting to various parts of the engine. Each cylinder was filled with a different dangerous substance. The central sphere had a digital clock display that read 66:21. The maintenance panel was open. Inside, the core was empty.

"Um," I said. "Still not clear enough."

"I get it!"

"That's your problem," Leo announced.

"I still don't get it," I said confused.

"Gah!"

Jason scratched his head/ "Uh... what are we looking at?"

Leo thought it was pretty obvious,, but Piper looked confused too.

"Not everyone has your knowledge of mechanics," Piper said. "Or your randomness."

"I know that now," Leo said.

"Okay," Leo sighed, "you want the full explanation or the short explanation?"

"Short," Piper and Jason said in unison.

Leo gestured to the empty core. "The syncopator goes here. It's a multi-access gyro-valve to regulate flow. The dozen glass tubes on the outside? Those are filled with powerful, dangerous stuff. That glowing red one in Lemnos fire from my dad's forges. This murky stuff here? That's water from the River Styx. The stuff in the tubes is going to power the ship, right? Like radioactive rods in a nuclear reactor. But the mix ratio has to be controlled, and the timer is already operational."

"Um..." I was speechless.

"See!" Leo said. "Simple!"

"I kind of get it," I said slowly.

"Finally!"

Leo tapped the digital clock, which now read 65:15. "That means without the stncopater, this stuff is all going to vent into the chamber at the same time, in sixty-five minutes. At that point, we'll get a very nasty reaction."

Jason and Piper stared at him. Leo wondered if he'd been speaking English. Sometimes when he was agitated he slipped into Spanish, like his mom used to do in her workshop. But he was pretty sure he'd used English.

"Finally!" I said. "Someone who knows what I feel."

"What do you mean?" Jason asked curiously.

"I always explain everything and when I do, people usually get lost," I replied.

"Oh."

"Um..." Piper cleared her throat. "Could you make the short explanation shorter?"

Leo palm-smacked his forehead.

"Isn't that called a facepalm?" Piper asked.

"Yeah, why?" Leo asked.

"Never mind."

"Fine. One hour. Fluids mix. Bunker goes ka-boom. One square mile of forest turns into a smoking crater."

"Leo?" I said.

"Yeah?" he said nervously.

"I'm trying really hard not to kill you right now."

He gulped.

"Oh," Piper said in a small voice. "Can't you just...turn it off?"

"Gee. I didn't think of that!"Leo said.

"Well, Mr. Sarcastic," Jason said. "Aren't you having a bad day!"

"The Argo II was going to explode!" Leo pointed out.

"Oh, yeah," Jason replied sheepishly.

"Let me just hit this switch and - No, Piper. I can't turn it off. This is a tricky piece of machinery. Everything has to be assembled in a certain order in a certain amount of time. Once the combustion chamber is rigged, like this, you can't just leave all those tubes sitting there. The engine has to be put in motion. The countdown clock started automatically, and I've got to install the syncopator before the fuel goes critical. Which is fine except...well, I lost the syncopator."

"Oh...my...gods." I faceplamed.

"Sorry?" Leo said.

"I'm just shocked," I replied.

He looked relieved.

Jason folded his arms. "You lost it. Don't you have an extra? Can't you pull one out of your tool belt?"

Leo shook his head. His magic tool belt could produce a lot of great stuff. Any kind of common tool - hammers, screwdrivers, bolt cutters, whatever - Leo could pull out of the pockets just by thinking about it. But the belt couldn't fabricate complicated devices or magic items.

"I really wish it could," Jason said.

Piper shivered. "Then we wouldn't have met those crazed nymphs."

"That would have been a relief," Leo agreed.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"You'll see," all three said in unison.

"The syncopator took me a week to make," he said. "And yes, I made a spare. I always do. But that's lost too. They were both in Buford's drawers."

I blinked. "Who's Buford again?"

"It will tell you," Leo replied.

"Who's Buford?" Piper asked. "And why are you storing syncopators in his drawers?"

Leo rolled his eyes. "Buford is a table."

"A table?" I said surprised.

"Yes!" Leo said exasperated.

"No comment."

"A table," Jason repeated. "Named Buford."

"Yes, a table." Leo wondered if his friends were losing their hearing.

"We aren't losing our hearing," Piper said. "We're just wondering if you're losing your sanity."

Leo looked offended.

"A magic walking table. About three feet high, mahogany top, bronze base, three movable legs. I saved him from one of the supply closets and got him in working order. He's just like the tables my dad has in his workshop. Awesome helper; carries all my important machine parts."

"So what happened to him?" Piper asked.

Leo felt a lump rising in his throat. The guilt was almost too much. "I-I got careless. I polished him with Windex, and...he ran away."

"Okay..." I was speechless.

"Shocking isn't it," Piper asked.

"Yup," I agreed. "Now I know why you're questioning his sanity."

Jason looked like he was trying to figure out an equation. "Let me get this straight. Your table ran away...because you polished him with Windex."

"I know, I'm an idiot!" Leo moaned. "A brilliant idiot, but still an idiot.

"How can you be a brilliant idiot?" Jason asked.

"You just be one," Leo replied.

Everyone just thought about it.

"Never mind," Leo groaned. "You people don't understand me."

Buford hates being polished with Windex. It has to be Lemon Pledge with extra-moisturizing formula. I was distracted. I thought maybe just once he wouldn't notice. Then I turned around for a while to install the combustion tubes, and when I looked for Buford..."

Leo pointed to the giant open doors of the bunker. "He was gone. Little trail of oil and bolts leading outside. He could be anywhere by now, and he's got both syncopators!"

Piper glanced at the digital clock. "So...we have exactly one hour to find your runaway table, get back your synco-whatsit, and install it in this engine, or the Argo II explodes, destroying Bunker Nine and most of the woods."

"Basically," Leo said.

"Still wan't to strangle you!"

"I know!"

Jason frowned. "We should alert the other campers. We might have to evacuate them."

"No!" Leo's voice broke. "Look, the explosion won't destroy the whole camp. Just the woods. I'm pretty sure. Like sixty-five percent sure."

"That's not a good percentage," I said.

"I can't control what I think," Leo said pointedly.

"Touche."

"Well, that's a relief," Piper muttered.

"Besides," Leo said, "we don't have time, and I - I can't tell the others. If they find out how badly I've messed up..."

Jason and Piper looked at each other. The clock display changed to 59:00.

"You have less then an hour," I warned. "You should hurry."

"Fine," Jason said. "But we'd better hurry."

"That's what you just said Annabeth!" Leo exclaimed.

"I know!" I snapped.

"Sheesh, pushy," he muttered.

"I heard that!"

As they trudged through the woods, the sun started to set. The camp's weather was magically controlled, so it wasn't freezing and snowing like it was in Long Island, but Leo could tell it was late December. In the shadows of the huge oak trees, the air was cold and damp. The mossy ground squished under their feet.

Leo was tempted to summon fire in his hand. He'd gotten better at that since coming to camp, but he knew the nature spirits in the woods didn't like fire. He didn't want to be yelled at by any more dryads.

"You knew something!" Piper exclaimed. "It's the end of the world!"

"Be quiet Beauty Queen," Leo said.

"Don't call me that."

"Fine," he mumbled. "Beauty Queen."

Christmas Eve. Leo didn't believe it was here already. He'd been working so hard in Bunker 9, he'd hardly noticed the weeks passing. Usually around the holidays he would be goofing around, pranking his friends, dressing up like Taco Claus (his personal invention), and leaving carne asada tacos in people's socks and sleeping bags, or pouring eggnog down his friend's shirts, or making up inappropriate lyrics to Christmas carols. This year, he was serious and hardworking. Any teacher he'd ever had would laugh if Leo described himself that way.

Thing is, Leo had never cared so much about a project before. The Argo II had to be ready by June if they were going to start their big quest on time.

"Isn't it May already?" Jason asked. (AN. I know it really isn't, but it fits.)

"Yeah," I answered nonchalantly.

Leo started muttering to himself.

"What are you doing?" Piper whispered.

"Writing my will," Leo whispered back.

"Why?"

"The Argo II isn't finished yet."

"Relax," Piper charmspoke him. "You still have a month."

He relaxed. "Thanks."

And while June seemed a long way away, Leo knew he'd barely have time to make the deadline. Even with the entire Hephaestus cabin helping him, constructing a magic flying warship was a huge task. It made launching a NASA spaceship look easy. They'd had so many setbacks, but all Leo could think about was getting the ship finished. It would be a masterpiece.

Also, he wanted to get the dragon figurehead installed. He missed his old friend Festus, who'd literally crashed and burned on their last quest. Even if Festus would never be the same again, Leo hoped he could reactivate his brain by using the ship's engines. If Leo could Festus a second life, he wouldn't feel so bad.

"I feel sorry for you," I said. "It's sad that you basically work on the Argo II every day instead of doing the camp activities like everyone else."

"I know," Leo replied. "It's just, the Argo II will basically be our only ticket to fight the giants. If I mess up, the entire quest will fail."

"That's a lot of pressure for one demigod," Jason commented.

"A little too much if you ask me," Piper added.

"Well, we'll all go through the pressure together," I said.

But none of that would happen if the combustion chamber exploded. It would be game over. No ship. No Festus. No quest. Leo would have no one to blame but himself. He really hated Windex.

Jason knelt at the banks of a stream. He pointed to some marks in the mud. "Do those look like table tracks?"

"Or a raccoon," Leo suggested.

Jason frowned. "With no toes?"

"I don't know," Leo said sarcastically. "Maybe it was in a freak accident and lost them!"

"Be quiet Leo," everyone said simultaneously.

"Piper?" Leo asked. "What do you think?"

She sighed. "Just because I'm Native American doesn't mean I can track furniture through the wilderness." She deepened her voice: "'Yes, kemosabe. A three-legged table passed this way an hour ago.' Heck, I don't know."

"It's weird isn't it," I said.

"Yeah," Piper agreed.

"What are you talking about?" Leo asked.

"Oh, nothing," Piper and I replied.

"Okay, jeez," Leo said.

Piper was half Cherokee, half Greek goddess. Some days it was hard to tell which side of her family she was most sensitive about.

"It's probably a table," Jason decided. "Which means Buford went across this stream."

Suddenly the water gurgled. A girl in a shimmering blue dress rose to the surface. She had stringy green hair, blue lips, and pale skin, so she looked like a drowning victim. Her eyes were wide open with alarm.

"Interesting description," I said.

Leo shrugged. "It's all true."

"Could you be any louder?" she hissed. "They'll hear you!"

Leo blinked. He never got used to this - nature spirits just popping up out of trees and streams and whatnot.

"Whatnot?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, so?" Leo asked.

"Never mind."

"Are you a naiad?" he asked.

"Did you need to ask?" Piper asked. "I mean, she did appear from the stream."

"Touche."

"Shh! They'll kill us all! They're right over there!" She pointed behind her, into the trees on the other side of the stream. Unfortunately, that was the direction Buford seemed to have walked.

"Okay," Piper said gently, kneeling next to the water. "We appreciate the warning. What's your name?"

The naiad looked like she wanted to bolt, but Piper's voice was hard to resist.

"Brooke," the blue girl said reluctantly.

"Brooke the brook?" Jason asked.

"Yes," I replied. "Is that strange?"

Piper swatted his leg. "Okay Brooke. I'm Piper. We won't let anyone harm you. Just tell us who you're afraid of."

The naiad's face became more agitated. The water boiled around her. "My crazy cousins. You can't stop them. They'll tear you apart. None of us are safe! Now go away. I have to hide!"

Brooke melted into the water.

Piper stood. "Crazy cousins?" She frowned at Jason. "Any idea what she was talking about?"

Jason shook his head. "Maybe we should keep our voices down."

Leo stared at the stream. He was trying to figure what was so horrible that it could tear apart a river spirit. How do you tear up water? Whatever it was, he didn't want to meet it.

"And naturally," Leo said. "We had to meet it!"

Yet he could see Buford's tracks on the opposite bank - little square prints in the mud, leading in the direction the naiad had warned them about.

"We have to follow the trail, right?" he said, mostly to convince himself. "I mean...we're heroes and stuff. We can handle whatever it is. Right?"

Jason drew his sword - a wicked Roman-style gladius with an Imperial gold blade. "Right. Of course."

"You sounded like you needed support," Jason said.

"Thanks anyway," Leo replied.

Piper unsheathed her dagger. She stared into the blade as if hoping Katoptris would show her a helpful vision. Sometimes the dagger did that. But if she saw anything important, she didn't say.

"Crazy cousins," she muttered. "Here we come."

There was no more talking as they followed the table tracks deeper into the woods. The birds were silent. No monsters growled. It was as if all the other living creatures in the woods had been smart enough to leave.

"I wish we were," Leo muttered.

"What?" I asked.

"Nothing."

Finally they came to a clearing the size of a small parking lot. The sky overhead was heavy and grey. The grass was dry and yellow, and the ground was scarred with pits and trenches as if someone had done some crazy driving with construction equipment. In the center of the clearing stood a pile of boulders about thirty feet tall.

I gasped.

"You recognize the place?" Jason asked.

"Yeah, the Battle of the Labyrinth," I said sadly. "I haven't thought of that place in years."

"You were in it?" Leo asked, amazed.

"Who wasn't?"

"Oh," Piper said. "This isn't good."

"Why?" Leo asked.

"It's bad luck to be here," Jason said. "This is the battle site."

Leo scowled. "What battle?"

I was surprised. "You didn't know?"

He shrugged. "I was busy."

Piper raised her eyebrows. "How can you not know about it? The other campers talk about this place all the time."

"Been a little busy," Leo said.

He tried not to feel a little bit bitter about it, but he missed out on a lot of regular camp stuff - the trireme fights, the chariot races, flirting with the girls. That was the worst part. Leo finally had an "in" with the hottest girls at camp, since Piper was the senior counselor for Aphrodite cabin, and he was too busy for her to fix him up. Sad.

"The Battle of the Labyrinth." Piper kept her voice down, but she explained to Leo how the pile of rocks used to be called Zeus's Fist, back when it looked like something, not just a pile of rocks. There'd been an entrance to a magical labyrinth here, and a big army of monsters had come through it to invade camp. The campers won - obviously, since the camp was still here - but it had been a hard battle. Several demigods had died. The clearing was still considered cursed.

I shivered.

"What?" Leo asked.

"Just...memories," I replied. I remembered the labyrinth and Daedalus sacrificing himself to stop it. "Sad memories."

Jason, Leo , and Piper were silent.

"Great," Leo grumbled. "Buford has to run to the most dangerous part of the woods. He couldn't just, like, run to the beach or a burger shop."

"Speaking of which..." Jason studied the ground. "How are we going to track him? There's no trail here."

Though Leo would've preferred to stay in cover of the trees, he followed his friends into the clearing. They searched for table tracks, but as they made their way to the pile of boulders they found nothing. Leo pulled a watch from his tool belt and strapped it to his wrist. Roughly forty minutes until the big ka-boom.

"I hate time limits," I said.

"Me too," Piper said.

"If I had more time," he said. "I could make a tracking device, but-"

"Does Buford have a round tabletop?" Piper interrupted. "With little steam vents sticking up on one side?"

Leo started at her. "How did you know?"

"Because he's right over there." She pointed.

"You found him?" I asked surprised.

Sure enough, Buford was waddling toward the far end of the clearing, steam puffing from is vents. As they watched, he disappeared into the trees.

"That was easy." Jason started to follow, but Leo held him back.

The hairs of the back of Leo's neck stood up. He wasn't sure why. Then he realized he could hear voices from the woods on their left. "Someone's coming!"

"Who was it?" I asked.

"You'll see." Jason just kept on reading.

He pulled his friends behind the boulders.

Jason whispered, "Leo-"

"Shh!"

"That was kind of rude," Jason said.

"It saved your life didn't it?" Leo asked.

"I guess so," Jason admitted. "But it was still rude."

"Whatever."

A dozen barefoot girls skipped into the clearing. They were teenagers with tunic-style dresses of loose purple and red silk. Their hair was tangled with leaves, and most wore laurel wreaths. Some carried strange staffs that looked like torches. The girls laughed and swung each other around, tumbling in the grass and spinning like they were dizzy. They were all really gorgeous, but Leo wasn't tempted to flirt.

"Wow, Leo," Piper said. "That's a first."

"Shut up," Leo grumbled.

"What did you say?" Piper asked innocently.

"Nothing!"

"Good."

Piper sighed. "They're just nymphs, Leo."

Leo gestured frantically at her to stay down. He whispered, "Crazy cousins!"

Piper's eyes widened.

As the nymphs got closer, Leo started to notice odd details about them. Their staffs weren't torches. They were twisted wooden branches, each topped with a giant pinecone, and some were wrapped with living snakes. The girls' laurel wreaths weren't wreaths, either. Their hair was braided with tiny vipers. the girls smiled and laughed and sang in Ancient Greek as they stumbled around the glade. They appeared to bo having a great time, but their voices were tinged with a sort of wild ferocity. If leopards could sing, Leo thought they would sound like this.

My eyes widened with each detail.

"Annabeth?" Leo said tentatively.

"Yeah?"

"You're eyes are like an owl's right now."

"Oh."

"Are they drunk?" Jason whispered.

Leo frowned. The girls did act like that, but he thought there was something else going on. He was glad the nymphs hadn't seen them yet.

Then things got complicated. In the woods to their right, something roared. The trees rustled, and a drakon burst into the clearing, looking sleey and irritated, as if the nymphs' singing had woken it up.

"We have drakons in the woods?" I asked surprised.

Jason shrugged. "Guess so."

Leo had seen plenty of monsters in the woods. The camp intentionally stocked them as a challenge to campers. But this was bigger and scarier than most.

The drakon was about the size of a subway car. It had no wings, but it's mouth bristled with daggerlike teeth. Flames curled from his nostrils. Silvery scales covered its body like polished chain mail. When the drakon saw the nymphs, it roared again and shot flames into the sky.

"It's not the biggest one I've seen," I said.

They looked shocked.

The girls didn't seem to notice. They kept doing cartwheels and laughing and playfully pushing each other around.

"We've got to help them," Piper whispered. "They'll be killed!"

"Hold on," Leo said.

"Leo," Jason chided. "We're heroes. We can't let innocent girls-"

"Just chill!" Leo insisted. Something bothered him about these girls - a story he only half remembered. As counselor for Hephaestus cabin, Leo made it his business to read up on magic items, just in case he needed to build them someday. He was sure he'd read something about pinecone staffs wrapped in snakes. "Watch."

Finally one of the girls noticed the drakon.

"How did they just now notice?" I asked amazed.

"I have no clue," Leo answered truthfully.

She squealed in delight, as if she'd spotted a cute puppy. She skipped toward the monster and the other girls followed, singing and laughing, which seemed to confuse the drakon. It probably wasn't used to its prey being so cheerful.

A nymph in a blood-red dress did a cartwheel and landed in front of the drakon. "Are you Dionysus?" she asked hopefully.

I was confused. "What?"

Jason kept reading.

It seemed like a stupid question. True, Leo had never met Dionysus, but he was pretty sure the god of wine wasn't a fire-breathing drakon.

"You should be glad you haven't met him," I said.

"Why?" Leo asked.

"Lets just say he likes to make us as miserable as possible," I answered.

"Oh."

The monster blasted fire at the girl's feet. She simply danced out of the kill zone. The drakon lunged and caught her arm in its jaws. Leo winced, sure the nymph's arm would be amputated right before his eyes, but she yanked it free, along with several broken teeth. Her arm was perfectly fine. the drakon made a sound somewhere between a growl and a whimper.

"Naughty!" the girl scolded. Sh turned to her cheerful friends. "Not Dionysus! He must join our party!"

A dozen nymphs squealed in delight and surrounded the monster.

Piper caught her breath. "What are they - oh, gods. No!"

"What happened?" I asked.

Piper looked queasy. "You don't want to know."

Leo didn't usually feel sorry for monsters, but what happened next was truly horrifying. The girls threw themselves at the drakon. Their cheerful laughter turned into vicious snarling. They attacked with their pinecone staffs, with fingernails that turned into long white talons, with teeth that elongated into wolfish fangs.

The monster blew fire and stumbles, trying to get away, but the teenage girls were too much for him. The nymphs ripped and tore until the drakon slowly crumbled into power, its spirit returning to Tartarus.

I stared at the book, shocked.

Jason made a gulping sound. Leo had seen his friend in all sorts of dangerous situations, but he'd never seen Jason look quite so pale. Piper was shielding her eyes, muttering, "Oh, gods. Oh, gods."

"I can completely imagine what you're feeling," I said.

Leo tried to keep his own voice from trembling. "I read about these nymphs. They're followers of Dionysus. I forgot what they're called-"

"Maenads." Piper shivered. "I've heard of them. I thought they only existed in ancient times.

"Well," I said. "You should that know by now."

"I know," Piper admitted. "I was just shocked."

They attended Dionysus's parties, When they got too exited..."

Everyone shivered from the thought.

She pointed toward the clearing. She didn't need to say more. Brooke the naiad had warned them. Her crazy cousins ripped their victims to pieces.

"We have to get out of here," Jason said.

"Way to state the obvious, Captain Obvious," Leo said.

"Someone had to say something," Jason said defensively.

"But they're between us and Buford!" Leo whispered. "And we've only got-" He checked his watch. "Thirty minutes to get the syncopater installed!"

"Maybe I can fly us over to Buford." Jason shut his eyes tight.

Leo knew Jason had controlled the wind before - just one of the advantages of being the uber-cool son of Zeus - but this time, nothing happened.

"That really stinks," I said.

"Yeah," Piper agreed. "We had to go through all that trouble and see the crazy nymphs instead."

Leo glanced back the way they'd come. "We'll have to retreat to the woods. If we can skirt around the Maenads-"

"Guys," Piper squeaked in alarm.

Leo looked up. He hadn't noticed the Maenads approaching, climbing the rocks with absolute silence even creepier than their laughter. They peered down from the tops of the boulders, smiling prettily, their fingernails and teeth back to normal. Vipers coiled through their hair.

"Hello!" The girl in the blood-red dress beamed at Leo. "Are you Dionysus?"

There was only one answer to that.

"What was it?" I asked.

"Yes!"

"Yes?" I was confused.

He got to his feet and tried to match the girl's smile.

The nymph clapped her hands in delight. "Wonderful! My lord Dionysus? Really?"

Jason and Piper rose, weapons ready, but Leo hoped it didn't come to a fight. He'd seen how fast these nymphs could move. If they decided to go into food-processor mode, Leo doubted he and his friends would stand a chance.

The Maenads giggled and danced and pushed each other around. Several fell off the rocks and landed hard on the ground. That didn't seem to bother them. They just got up and kept frolicking.

I shivered. "These nymphs are crazy."

Piper nudged Leo in the ribs. "Um, Lord Dionysus, what are you doing?"

"Good question," I said.

"Everything's cool." Leo looked at his friends like, Everything's really, really not cool. "The Maenads are my attendants. I love these guys."

The Maenads cheered and twirled around him. Several produced goblets from thin air and began to chug...whatever was inside.

The girl in red looked uncertainly at Piper and Jason. "Lord Dionysus, are these to sacrifices for the party? Should we rip them to pieces?"

"Um," Jason said. "No thanks."

"No, no!" Leo said. "Great offer, but, um, you know, maybe we should start small. With, like, introductions."

The girl narrowed her eyes. "Surely you remember me, my lord. I am Babette."

"Um, right!" Leo said. "Babette! Of course"

"And these are Buffy, Muffy, Bambi, Candy-" Babette rattled off a bunch more names that all kind of blended together. Leo glanced at Piper, wondering if this was some sort of Aphrodite joke. These nymphs could've totally fit in with Piper's cabin. But Piper looked like she was trying not to scream. That might've been because two of the Maenads were running their hands over Jason's shoulders and giggling.

"That's a fair reason," I said.

"Um..." Leo was confused. "What?"

"Never mind," Piper said. "It's girl stuff."

Babette stepped closer to Leo. She smelled like pine needles. Her curly dark hair spilled over her shoulders and freckles splashed across her nose. A wreath of coral snakes writhed across her forehead.

Nature spirits usually had a greenish tinge to their skin from chlorophyll, but these Maenads looked like their blood was cherry Kool-Aid. Their eyes were severely bloodshot. Their lips were redder than normal. Their skin was webbed with bright capillaries.

I shuddered. "That's creepy."

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"An interesting form you've taken, my lord." Babette inspected Leo's face and hair. "Youthful. Cute, I suppose. Yet...somewhat scrawny and short."

"Scrawny and short?" Leo bit back a few choice replies. "Well, you know. I was going for cute, mostly."

The other Maenads circles Leo, smiling and humming. Under normal circumstances, being surrounded by hot girls would've been totally okay with Leo, but not this time. He couldn't forget how the Maenads' teeth and nails had grown just before they tore the drakon to shreds.

There was a moment of silence...

"So, my lord." Babette ran her fingers down Leo's arm. "Where have you been? We've searched for so long!"

"Where have I-?" Leo thought furiously. He knew Dionysus used to work as the director of Camp Half-Blood before Leo's time. Then the god had been recalled to Mount Olympus to help deal with the giants. But where did Dionysus hang out these days? Leo had no idea. "Oh, you know. I've been doing, um, wine stuff. Yeah. Red wine. White wine. All those other kinds of wine. Love that wine. I've been so busy working-"

"Leo! Are you crazy!" I shouted.

"Yes," Leo said glumly. "Haven't we already taken care of that fact?"

I was silent.

Leo smiled smugly. "Gotcha!"

"Work!" Muffy the Maenad shrieked, pressing her hands over her ears.

"Work!" Buffy wiper her tongue as if trying to scrub away the horrible word.

"It's not a horrible word!" I said, horrified.

"Relax," Piper said soothingly. "They're all crazy."

"I agree with the Maenads about that," Leo whispered to Jason.

Jason laughed.

"What?" Piper asked.

"Nothing."

The other Maenads dropped their goblets and ran in circles, yelling "Work! Sacrilege! Kill work!"

"How do you kill work?" Jason asked confused.

I shrugged. "No idea."

Some began to grow long claws. Others slammed their heads against the boulders, which seemed to hurt the boulders more than their heads.

Piper looked scared and amazed at the same time. "They really hate work."

Leo snorted. "Ya think?"

"He means partying!" Piper shouted. "Partying! Lord Dionysus had been busy partying all over the world."

"Nice save," I said.

"Thanks."

Slowly, the Maenads began to calm down.

"Party?" Bambi asked cautiously.

"Party!" Candy sighed with relief.

"Yeah!" Leo wiped the sweat off his hands. He shot Piper a grateful look. "Ha-ha. Partying. Right. I've been so busy partying."

Babette kept smiling, but not in such a friendly way. She fixed her gaze on Piper. "Who's this one, my lor? A recruit for the Maenads, perhaps?"

Piper looked sick. "No thanks. I'm good."

"Oh," Leo said. "She's my, uh, party planner."

"Party!" yelled another Maenad, possibly Trixie.

"What a shame." Babette's fingernails began to grow. "We can't allow mortals to witness our sacred revels."

"But I could be a recruit!" Piper said quickly. "Do you guys have a website? Or a list of requirements? Er, do you have to be drunk all the time?"

"Drunk!" Babette said. "Don't be silly. We're underage Maenads. We haven't graduated to wine yet. What would our parents think?"

"They have parents?!" I exclaimed.

Jason stifled a laugh.

"What's so funny, Grace?" I asked.

He kept reading.

"You have parents!" Jason shrugged the Maenads' hands off his shoulders.

Jason, Leo, and Piper started cracking up.

"Okay!" I said. "I get the point!"

Five minutes later...

"Stop!" I shouted.

They stopped.

"Read."

Jason started reading again.

"Not drunk!" Candy yelled. She turned in a dizzy circle and fell down, spilling white frothy liquid from her goblet.

Jason cleared his throat. "So...what are you guys drinking if it isn't wine?"

Babette laughed. "The beverage of the season! Behold that power of the thyrsus rod!"

She slammed her pinecone staff against the ground and a white geyster bubbled up. "Eggnog!"

I gagged a little. "Eggnog?"

"Yup." Now Jason and Leo looked sick too.

Maenads rushed forward to fill their goblets.

"Merry Christmas!" one yelled.

"Party!" another said.

"Kill everything!" said a third.

"Well..." Piper said hesitantly. "At least they said Merry Christmas."

"And they said to kill everything," Jason pointed out.

"True."

Piper took a step back. "You're...drunk on eggnog?"

"Whee!" Buffy sloshed her eggnog and gave Leo a frothy grin. "Kill things! With a sprinkle of nutmeg!"

Leo decided never to drink eggnog again.

As did Jason, Piper, and I.

"But enough talk, my lord," Babette said. "You've been naughty, keeping yourself hidden! You changed your e-mail and phone number. One might think the great Dionysus was trying to avoid his Maenads!"

"I wonder why?" I said sarcastically.

Jason removed another girl's hands from his shoulders. "Can't imagine why the great Dionysus would do that."

Babette sized up Jason. "This one is a sacrifice, obviously. We should start the festivities by ripping him apart. The party planner girl can prove herself by helping us!"

"I don't think my girlfriend would want to do that," Jason said. "That would be rude."

"It's creepy that they can talk about killing people so casually," said Piper. "And why would I want to tear you apart?"

"Good point."

"Or," Leo said," we could start with some appetizers. Crisly Cheese 'n' Wieners. Taquitos. Maybe some chips and queso. And...wait, I know! We need a table to put them on."

"That's a surprisingly good idea, Leo," I said.

"Thank you."

"That is," I continued, "if it works."

Leo pouted.

Babette's smile wavered. The snakes hissed around her pinecone staff. "A table?"

"Cheese 'n' Wieners?" Trixie added hopefully.

"Yeah, a table!" Leo snapped his fingers and pointed toward the end of the clearing. "You know what - I think I saw one walking that way. Why don't you guys wait here, and drink some eggnog or whatever, and my friends and I will go get the table. We'll be right back!"

He started to leave, but two of the Maenads pushed him back. The push didn't seem exactly playful.

"That's not good," I said nervously.

Babette's eyes turned an even deeper red. "Why is my Lord Dionysus so interested in furniture? Where is your leopard? And your wine cup?"

Leo gulped. "Yeah. Wine cup. Silly me." He reached into his tool bag. He prayed it would produce a wine cup for him, but that wasn't exactly a tool. He grabbed something, pulled it out, and found himself holding a lug wrench.

"Hey, look at that," he said weakly. "There's some godly magic right here, huh? What's a party without...a lug wrench?"

The Maenads started at him. Some frowned. Others were cross-eyed from the eggnog.

Jason stepped to his side. "Hey, um, Dionysus...maybe we should talk. Like, in private. You know...about party stuff."

"We'll be right back!" Piper announced. "Just wait here, you guys. Okay?"

Her voice was almost electric with charmspeak, but the Maenads didn't appear moved.

"You guys get into the weirdest situations," I announced.

"Well," Leo said. "So do you."

"Touche."

"No, you will stay." Babette's eyes bored into Leo's. "You do not act like Dionysus. Those who fail to honor the god, those w ho dare to work instead of partying - they must be ripped apart. And anyone who dares to impersonate the god, he must die even more painfully."

"Wine!" Leo yelped. "Did I mention how much I love wine?"

"You guys are really desperate right now," I said.

"We didn't want to die!" Jason said.

"I know."

Babette didn't look convinced. "If you are the god of parties, you will know the order of our revelries. Prove it! Lead us!"

Leo felt trapped. He'd once been stuck in a cave on top of Pikes Peak, surrounded by a pack of werewolves. Another time he'd been stuck in an abandoned factory with a family of evil Cyclopes. But this - standing in an open clearing with a dozen party girls - was muchworse.

"Um..." I trailed off. "When was this?"

"The quest that we had," Piper answered. "It was pretty crazy."

"And dangerous," Jason agreed.

"At least we had Festus for most of the trip!" Leo added. "We wouldn't want to walk all that way."

"Sure!" His voice squeaked. "Revelries. So we start with the Hokey Pokey-"

"The Hokey Pokey?"

Trixie snarled. "No, my lord. The Hokey Pokey is second."

I was wondering why these bloodthirsty nymphs liked the Hokey Pokey.

"Right," Leo said. "First is the limbo contest, then the Hokey Pokey. Then, um, pin the tail on the donkey-"

"Wrong!" Babette's eyes turned completely red. The Kool-Aid darkened in her veins, making a web of red lines like ivy under her skin. "Last chance, and I'll even give you a hint. We begin by singing the Bacchanalian Jingle. You do remember it, don't you?"

"The Bacchanalian Jingle?" I asked.

"No idea what that is, just so you know," Leo said.

Leo's tongue felt like sandpaper.

Piper put her hand on his arm. "Of course he remembers it." Her eyes said, Run.

Jason's knuckles turned white on the hilt of his sword.

Leo hated singing. He cleared his throat and started warbling the first thing that came into his head - something he'd watched online while he worked on the Argo II.

After a few lines, Candy hissed. "That's not the Bacchanalian Jingle! That's the these song for Psych!"

"So let me get this straight," I started slowly. "You were warbling the theme song for Psych because you watched it while you were building the Argo II."

"Pretty much," Leo admitted.

"Okay..."

"Kill the unbelievers!" Babette screamed.

Leo knew an exit cue when he heard one.

He pulled a reliable trick. From his tool belt, he grabbed a flask of oil and splshed it in an arc in front of him, dousing the Maenads. He didn't want to hurt anyone, but he reminded himself these girls weren't human. They were nature spirits bent on ripping him apart. He summoned fire into his hands and set the oil ablaze. A wall of flames engulfed the nymphs. Jason and Piper did a one-eighty and ran. Leo was right behind them.

He expected to hear screaming from the Maenads. Instead, he heard laughter.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

He glanced back and saw the Maenads dancing through the flames in their bare feet. Their dresses were smoldering, but the Maenads didn't seem to care. They leaped through the fire like they were playing in a sprinkler.

"Thank you, unbeliever!" Babette laughed. "Our frenzy makes us immune to fire, but it does tickle! Trixie, send the unbelievers a thank-you gift!" Trixie skipped over to the pile of boulders. She grasped a rock the size of a refrigerator and lifted it over her head.

"Run!" Piper said.

"Thank you, Captain Obvious," I said sarcastically.

"She was holding a giant boulder!" Piper said defensively.

"I know."

"We are running!" Jason picked up the speed.

"Run better!" Leo shouted.

They reached the edge of the clearing when a shadow passed overhead.

"Veer left!" Leo yelled.

They dove into the trees as the boulder slammed next to them with a jaw-rattling thud, missing Leo by a few inches. They skidded down a ravine until Leo lost his footing. He plowed into Jason and Piper so they ended up rolling downhill like a demigod snowball. They crashed into Brooke's stream at the bottom, helped each other up, and stumbled deeper into the woods. Behind them, Leo heard the Maenads laughing and shouting, urging Leo to come back so they could rip him to shreds.

For some reason, Leo wasn't tempted.

"Oh I don't know why," I said sarcastically. "Maybe because they wanted to kill you!"

"Thanks for the comment," Leo said.

Jason pulled them behind a massive oak tree, where they stood gasping for breath. Piper's elbow was scraped up pretty badly. Jason's left pants leg had ripped almost completely off, so it looked like his leg was wearing a denim cape. Somehow, they'd all made it down the hill without killing themsleves with their own weapons, which was a miracle.

"How do we beat them?" Jason demanded. "They're immune to fire. They're superstrong."

"We can't kill them," Piper said.

"There has to be a way," Leo said.

"No. We can't kill them," Piper said. "Anyone who kills a Maenad is cursed my Dionysus. Haven't you read the old stories? People who kill his followers go crazy or get morphed into animals or...well, bad stuff."

"Worse than letting the Maenads rip us to shreds?" Jason asked.

Piper didn't answer. Her face was so clammy, Leo decided not to ask for details.

"I'm not sure if it's any better," I said. "It's actually a bit better to die than to face a god's wrath."

"Good point," Leo said. "Now let's hope we never have to do that."

"That's just great," Jason said. "So we have to stop them without killing them. Anyone got a really big piece of flypaper?"

"We're outnumbered four to one," Piper said. "Plus..." She grabbed Leo's wrist and checked his watch. "We have twenty minutes until Bunker Nine explodes."

"It's impossible," Jason summed up.

"Jason," Piper scolded. "Nothing is impossible in the demigod world."

"Well..." Jason paused, thinking. "You can't, um, or, um no..."

Leo smirked. "I guess that's true," Jason admitted.

"We're dead," Piper agreed.

But Leo's mind was spinning into overdrive. He did his best work when things were impossible.

Stopping the Maenads without killing them...Bunker 9...flypaper. An idea came together like one of his crazy contraptions, all the gears and pistons clicking into place perfectly.

"I've got it," he said. "Jason, you'll have to find Buford. You know which way he went. Circle back and find him, then bring him to the bunkerr, quick! Once you're far enough from the Maenads, maybe you can control the winds again. Then you can fly."

Jason frowned. "What about you two?"

"We're going to lead the Maenads out of your way." Leo said, "straight to Bunker Nine."

Piper coughed. "Excuse me, but isn't Bunker Nine about to explode?"

"Yes, but if I can get the Maenads inside, I have a way to take care of them."

Jason looked skeptical. "Even if you can, I'll still have to find Buford and get the syncopater back to you in twenty minutes, or you, Piper, and a dozen crazy nymphs will blow up."

"So positive!" Leo said. "You really believe in me!"

"I just didn't want you two to blow up!" Jason said defensively.

"That's a really good thing," Leo said. "Saving us is a really big matter."

"Trust me," Leo said. "And it's nineteen minutes now."

"I love this plan." Piper leaned over and kissed Jason.

Jason blushed.

"In case I explode. Please hurry."

Jason didn't respond. He bolted into the woods.

"What?" I asked. "No goodbye?"

"I was worried!" Jason kept defending himself. "I didn't want the woods to explode!"

"Come on," Leo told Piper. "Let's invite the Maenads over to my place."

Leo played games in the woods before - mostly capture-the-flag - but even Camp Half-Blood's full combat version wasn't nearly as dangerous as running from Maenads. Piper and he retraced their steps in the fading sunlight. Their breath steamed. Occastionally Leo would shout, "Party over here!" to let the Maenads know where they were. It was tricky, because Leo had to stay far enough ahead to avoid getting caught, but close enough so the Maenads wouldn't lose their trail.

"This isn't the first time there was a crazy adventure in the woods," I muttered.

"What?" Piper asked, overhearing what I said.

"Nothing."

"Tell us," Piper begged. "Please?"

"It's a long story," I sighed. "Too long, probably longer than this one."

"Please?" Piper, Leo, and Jason asked.

"Fine," I admitted defeat. "Basically your metal dragon Festus was unburied from somewhere. The ants found it, dragged the head all the way to their anthill, and almost made it. Sadly for them, we were playing capture-the-flag and Percy and Beckendorf, a son of Hephaestus, were trying to get to our flag. Me and Silena, a daughter of Aphrodite, caught Percy and then found out we were at the anthill. Beckendorf, knowing the old legends about the dragon, had run down to rescue the dragon head. He was captured and I had the idea to restore the dragon. So, we dragged the dragon head back to the body, I reattached it, and the dragon woke up. We led the dragon to the anthill and rescued Beckendorf from becoming ant food. The dragon almost got overwhelmed and Silena begged Beckendorf to save it so he activated the dragon's defense mode. The dragon then tried to kill us so we ran away. Beckendorf then had this idea to deactivate the dragon and so we distracted it. Percy almost got his head bit off from cutting off his toe and standing in front of it. We deactivated the dragon and headed back to the game. Somehow, the game was still on so we took the boys as prisoner and won the game."

They were staring at me in shock.

"Hello?" I waved my hand in front of their faces. "Anyone home?"

Jason snapped out of it and started reading again.

Occasionally he heard startled cries as the Maenads happened across some unfortunate monster or nature spirit. Once a blood-chilling shriek pierced the air, followed by a sound like a tree getting destroyed by an army of savage chipmunks. Leo was so scared that he could hardly keep his feet moving. He figured some poor dryad had gotten her life source shredded to splinters. Leo knew nature spirits got reincarnated, but that death cry was still the most awful thing he'd ever heard.

"Unbelievers!" Babette shouted through the woods. "Come celebrate with us!"

She sounded much closer now. Leo's instincts told him to just keep running. Forget Bunker 9. Maybe he and Piper could make it to the edge of the blast zone.

And then what...leave Jason to die?

Jason shuddered. "I'm glad you didn't go with your instincts."

Let the Maenads blow up so Leo could suffer the curse of Dionysus? And would the explosion even kill the Maenads? Leo had no idea. What if the Maenads survived and kept searching for Dionysus? Eventually they'd stumbled across the cabins and the other campers. No, that wasn't an option. Leo had to protect his friends. He could still save the Argo II.

"Over here!" he yelled. "Party at my house!"

He grabbed Piper's wrist and sprinted for the bunker.

He could hear the Maenads closing fast - bare feet running across the grass, branches snapping, eggnog goblets shattering against rocks.

"Almost there." Piper pointed through the woods. A hundred yards ahead rose a sheer limestone cliff that marked the entrance to Bunker 9.

Leo's heart felt like a combustion chamber going critical, but they made it to the cliff. He slapped his hand against the limestone. Fiery lines burned across the cliff face, slowly forming the outline of a massive door.

"Come on! Come on!" Leo urged.

Silently, I was doing it too.

He made the mistake of glancing back. Only a stone's throw away, the first Maenad appeared out of the woods. Her eyes were pure red. She grinned with a mouth full of fangs, then slashed her talon fingernails at the nearest tree and sliced it in half. Little tornadoes of leaves swirled around her as if the even the air were going crazy.

"Come, Demigod!" she called. "Join me in the revels!"

Leo knew it was insane, but her words buzzed in his ears. Part of him wanted to run toward her.

Woa, boy, he told himself. Golden rule for Demigods: Thou shalt not Hokey Pokey with psychos.

Still, he took a step toward the Maenad.

"Are you crazy?" Jason asked.

"It wasn't really my fault!" Leo said in his defense.

"Stop, Leo." Piper's charkspeak saved him, freezing him in place. "It's the madness of Dionysus affecting you. You don't want to die."

"Who would?" I asked.

No one answered.

He took a shaky breath. "Yeah. They're getting stronger. We've got to hurry."

Finally the Bunker doors opened. The Maenad snarled. Her friends emerged from the woods, and together they charged.

"Turn around!" Piper called to them in her most persuasive voice. "We're fifty yards behind you!"

It was a ridiculous suggestion, but the charmspeak momentarily worked. The Maenads turned and ran back the way they'd come, then stumbled to a halt, looking confused.

Leo and Piper ducked inside the bunker.

"Close the door?" Piper asked.

"No!" Leo said. "We want them inside."

"You want them to come in?" I asked, surprised.

"You'll see." That's all Leo said when Jason started reading again.

"We do? What's the plan?"

"Plan." Leo tried to shake the fogginess from his brain.

They had thirty seconds, tops, before the Maenads poured in. The Argo II's engine would explode in - he checked his watch - oh, gods, twelve minutes?

"Talk about a time limit," I said under my breath.

"What can I do?" Piper asked. "Come on, Leo."

His mind began to clear. This was his territory. He couldn't let the Maenads win.

From the nearest worktable, Leo snatched a bronze control box with a singe red button. He handed it to Piper. "I need two minutes. Climb the catwalks. Distract the Maenads like you did outside, okay? When I shout the order, wherever you are, push that button. But not before I say."

"What does it do?" Piper asked.

"Nothing yet. I have to set a trap."

"Two minutes." Piper nodded grimly. "You got it."

She ran to the nearest ladder and began to climb while Leo raced off down the aisles, snatching things from tool chests and supply cabinets. He grabbed machine parts and wires. He threw switches and activated time-delay sensors on the bunker's interior control panels. He didn't think more than a pianist thinks about where his fingers are landing on the keyboard. He just flew through the bunker, bringing all the pieces together.

"Cool," Jason said.

I had to agree, it was pretty cool.

He heard the Maenads rushing into the bunker. For a moment, they stopped in amazement, oohing and ahhing at the vast cavern full of shiny stuff.

"Where are you?" Babette called. "My fake lord Dionysus! Party with us!"

Leo tried to shut out her voice. Then he heard Piper, somewhere in the catwalks above, call out: "How about we square dance? Turn to the left "

The Maenads shrieked in confusion.

"Grab a partner!" Piper shouted. "Swing her around!"

"Nice distraction," I said approvingly.

"Thanks." Piper smiled.

More cries and shrieking and a few CLANGS as some of the Maenads apparently swung each other around into heavy metal objects.

"Stop it!" Babette yelled. "Do not grab a partner! Grab that Demigod!"

Piper shouted a few more commands, but she seemed to be losing her sway.

Leo heard feet banging on the rungs of ladders.

"Oh, Leo?" Piper yelled. "Has it been two minutes?"

"Just a sec!" Leo found the last thing he needed - a quilt-sized stack of shimmering golden fabric. He fed the metallic cloth into the nearest pnumatic tube and pulled the lever. Done - assuming the plan worked.

"What's the plan?" Jason asked confused.

"You'll see," Leo said. Again.

He ran to the middle of the bunker, right in front of the Argo II, ad yelled, "Hey! Here I am!"

He held out his arms and grinned. "Come on! Party with me!"

He glanced at the counter on the ship's engine. Six and a half more minutes left. He wished he hadn't looked.

The Maenads climbed down from the ladders and began circling him warily. Leo danced and sang random television songs, hoping it would make them hesitate. He needed all the Maenads together before he sprung the trap.

"Sing along!" he said.

"Leo. You must be asking to die right now," I said. "Because they will probably want to kill you even more now."

The Maenads snarled. Their blood-red eyes looked angry and annoyed. Their wreaths of snakes hissed. Their thyrsus rods glowed with purple fire.

Babette was the last to join the party. When she saw Leo alone, unarmed and dancing, she laughed with delight.

"You are wise to accept your fate," she said. "The real Dionysus would be pleased."

"Yeah, about that," Leo said. "I think there's a reason he changed his number. You guys aren't followers. You're crazy rabid stalkers. You haven't found him because he doesn't want you to."

"Lies!" Babette said. "We are the spirits of the wine god! He is proud of us!"

"I don't think anyone could be proud of them," I said.

"They're children only parents could love," Leo agreed.

"Sure," Leo said. "I've got some crazy relatives too. I don't blame Mr. D."

"Kill him!" Babette shrieked.

"Wait!" Leo held up his hands. "You can kill me, but you want this to be a real party, don't you?

As he hoped, the Maenads wavered.

My brain started working out the plan, then I realized what it was. Clever.

"Party?" asked Candy.

"Party?" asked Buffy.

"Oh, yeah!" Leo looked up and shouted to the catwalks: "Piper? It's time to crank things up!"

For three incredibly long seconds, nothing happened. Leo just stood there grinning at a dozed frenzied nymphs who wanted to dice him into bite-sized demigod cubes.

Then the whole bunker whirred to life. All around the Maenads, pipes rose from the floor and blew purple steam. The pnumatic tube system spit out metal shavings like glittered confetti. The magic banner above them shimmered and changed to read WELCOME, PSYCHO NYMPHS!

"I'm not sure if they liked the psycho nymphs part, but the rest is really good," I said.

"Thanks." Leo smiled. "I appreciate the appreciation."

Music blared from the sound system - the Rolling Stones, Leo's mom's favorite band. He liked to listen to them while he worked, because it reminded him of the good old days when he hung out in his mom's shop.

Leo smiled at the good memories this brought up.

Then the winch system swung into place, and a mirrored ball began to descend right over Leo's head.

On the catwalk above, Piper stared down at the chaos she'd wrought with the push of a button, and her jaw dropped. Even the Maenads looked impressed by Leo's instant party.

Given a few more minutes, Leo could've done much better - a laser show, pyrotechnics, maybe some appetizers and a drink machine. But for two minutes' work, it wan't so bad. A few Maenads began to square dance. One began to Hokey Pokey.

Only Babette looked unaffected. "What trick is this?" she demanded. "You do not party for Dionysus!"

"Oh, no?" Leo glanced up. The mirrored ball was almost within reach. "You haven't seen my final trick."

The ball opened up. A grappling hook swung down, and Leo jumped for it.

"Nice escape," I said, impressed.

"It was a cool idea, wasn't it?" Leo asked.

"Yeah," Piper and Jason said. Then they blushed.

"Get him!" Babette yelled. "Maenads, attack!"

Thankfully, she had trouble getting their attention. Piper started calling down square dancing instructions again, confusing them with odd commands. "Turn left, turn right, bonk your heads! Sit down, stand up, fall down dead!"

"Those are weird commands," Jason said.

"What would happen if there was a real square dance with these commands?" Leo wondered.

"That would be kind of crazy," Piper said.

The pully lifted Leo into the air as the Maenads swarmed beneath him, gathering in a nice compact cluster. Babette leaped at him. Her claws just missed his feet.

"Now!" he muttered to himself, praying that his timer was set accurately.

BLAM! The nearest pnumatic tube shot a curtain of golden mesh over the Maenads, covering them like a parachute. A perfect shot.

"I was wondering how you got them into the cage," Jason told Leo. "And now I know."

The Maenads struggled against the net. They tried pushing it off, cutting the ropes with their teeth and fingernails, but as they punched and kicked and struggled, the net simply changed shape, hardening into a cubical cage of glittered gold.

Leo grinned. "Piper, hit the button again!"

She did. The music died. The party ended.

Leo grinned crazily. "We should do that again! The party part. Not, you know, the crazy nymphs part."

Leo dropped from the hook onto the top of his newly made cage. He stomped on the roof, just to be sure, but it felt as hard a titanium.

"Let us out!" Babette shrieked. "What evil magic is this?"

She slammed against the woven bars, but even her superstrength was no match for the golden material. The other Maenads hissed and screamed and banged on the cage with their thrysus rods.

Leo jumped to the ground. "This is my party now, ladies. That cage is made from Hephaestian netting, a little recepie my dad cooked up. Maybe you've heard the story. He caught his wife Aphrodite cheating on him with Ares, so Hephaestus threw a golden net over them and put them on display. They stayed trapped until my dad decided to let them out. That netting right there? That's made from the same stuff. If two gods couldn't escape it, you don't stand a chance."

"That's pretty smart," I had to admit.

"Thanks," Leo grinned again.

Leo seriously hoped he was right about that. the furious Maenads raged around their prison, climbing over each other and trying to rip through the mesh with no success.

Piper slid down the ladder and joined them. "Leo, you are amazing."

Jason pouted.

"Aww, jealous?" Leo teased.

"No..." Jason turned away a little.

"I know that." He looked at the digital display next to the ship's engine. His heart sank. "For about two more minutes. Then I stop being amazing."

"Oh, no." Piper's face fell. "We need to get out of here!"

Suddenly Leo heard a familiar sound from the bunker entrance: a puff of steam, the creak of gears, and the clink-clank of metal legs running across the floor.

"Buford!" Leo called. The automated table chuffed towards him, whirring and clacking it's drawers.

Jason walked in behind him, grinning. "Waiting for us?"

Piper nudged him. "Great timing, Sparky."

Jason grinned.

Leo hugged the little worktable. "I'm so sorry, Buford. I promise I'll never take you for granted again. Only Lemon Pledge with extra-moisturizing formula, my friend. Anytime you want it!"

Buford puffed steam happily.

"Um, Leo?" Piper urged. "The explosion?"

"Right!" Leo opened Buford's front drawer and grabbed the syncopator. He ran to the combustion chamber. Twenty-three seconds. Oh, good. No rush.

"Love the sarcasm here," I said, sarcastically. "Twenty-three seconds definitely isn't much of a rush."

He would only get one chance to get it right. Leo carefully fitted the syncopator into place. He closed the combustion chamber and held his breath. the engine started to hum. The glass cylinders glowed with heat. If Leo hadn't been immune to fire, he was pretty sure he would have gotten a nasty sunburn.

The ship's hull shuddered. The whole bunker seemed to tremble.

"Leo?" Jason asked tightly.

"Hold on," Leo said.

"Let us out!" Babette screeched in her golden cage. "If you destroy us, Dionysus will make you suffer!"

"He'll probably send us a thank-you card," Piper grumbled. "But it won't matter. We'll all be dead."

The combustion chamber opened its various chambers with a click, click, click. Superdangerous liquids and gasses flowed into the syncopator. The engine shuddered. Then the heat subsided, and the shaking calmed down to a comfortable puff.

I let out a breath that I didn't know I was holding. "Wow. Lot of suspense."

Leo put his hand on the hull, now thrumming with magical energy. Buford snuggled affectionately against his leg and puffed steam.

"That's right, Buford." Leo turned proudly to his friends. "That's the sound of an engine not
exploding."

Leo didn't realize ow stressed he'd been until he passed out.

When he woke up, he was lying on a cot near the Argo II. The entire Hephaestus cabin was there. They'd gotten the engine levels stabilized and were all expressing their amazement at Leo's genius.

Once back on his feet, Jason and Piper pulled him aside and promised they hadn't told anyone just how close the ship had come to exploding. No one would ever know about the huge mistake that almost vaporized the woods.

"No one but me," I smirked.

"Please don't tell anyone though," Leo begged.

"Fine," I sighed.

Still, Leo couldn't stop trembling. He'd almost ruined everything. To calm himself down, he pulled out the Lemon Pledge and carefully polished Buford. Then he took the spare syncopator and locked it in a supply cabinet that did not have legs. Just in case. Buford could be temperamental.

An hour later, Chiron and Argus arrived from the Big House to take care of the Maenads.

Argus, head of security, was a big blonde dude with hundreds of eyes all over his body. He seemed embarrassed to find that a dozen dangerous Maenads had infiltrated his territory unnoticed. Argus never spoke, but he blushed brightly and all the eyes on his body stared at the floor.

Chiron, the camp director, looked more annoyed than concerned. He stared down at the Maenads - which he could do, being a centaur. From the waist down, he was white stallion. From the waist up, he was a middle-aged guy with curly brown hair, a beard, and a bow and quiver strapped to his back.

"Oh, them again," Chiron said. "Hello, Babette."

"We will destroy you!" Babette shrieked. "We will dance with you, feed you yummy appetizers, party with you until the wee hours, and rip you to pieces!"

"How's that threatening?" I asked.

"Well... The last part is," Leo said. "And the first part."

"Uh-huh." Chiron looked unimpressed. He turned to Leo and his friends. "Well done, you three. The last time these girls came looking for Dionysus, they caused quite a nuisance. You caught them before they could get out of hand. Dionysus will be pleased they've been captured."

"So they do annoy him?" Leo asked.

"Absolutely," Chiron said. "Mr. D despises his fan club almost as much as he despises demigods."

"Big comparison," I stated. "He hates us."

They looked at me like I was crazy. Not that they'd know anything...

"We are not a fan club!" Babette wailed. "We are his followers, his chosen, his special ones!"

"Sounds like a fan club to me," Piper said.

"Uh-huh," Chiron said again.

"So..." Piper shifted uneasily. "Dionysus wouldn't have minded if we had to destroy them?"

"Oh, no, he would mind!" Chiron said. "They're still his followers, even if he hates them. If you hurt them, Dionysus would be forced to drive you insane or kill you. Probably both. So well done."

Leo shook his head confused. "I still don't get that. He hates them, but if anyone destroys them, he still drives them insane." He scratched his head. "Anyone get that?"

Jason and Piper shook their heads.

"I think I do," I said. "He hates them, but they're still his followers. They are loyal to him. Basically-"

"Okay," Leo interrupted. "You can stop now."

I glared at him but let Jason continue reading.

Ha looked at Argus. "Same plan as last time?"

Argus nodded. He gestured to one of the Hephaestus campers, who drove a forklift over and loaded up the cage.

"What will you do with them?" Jason asked.

Chiron smiled kindly. "We'll send them to a place where they will feel at home. We'll load them on a bus to Atlantic City. (AN I just noticed, isn't this the place(MoA Spoiler alert!) where Percy, Frank, and Coach Hedge met Phorcys?)

"Ouch," Leo said. "Doesn't that place have enough problems?"

"Not to worry," Chiron promised. "The Maenads will get the partying out of their systems very quickly. They'll wear themselves out and fade away until next year. They always seem to show up around the holidays. Quite annoying."

"That's probably because it's the time when the most people are celebrating," I remarked. "There's so much partying that they get rejuvenated."

Leo just stared blankly while Jason and Piper nodded in agreement. "Wait... What?" Leo asked confused.

"Never mind."

The Maenads were carted off. Chiron and Argus headed back to the Big House, and Leo's campers helped him lock up Bunker 9 for the night.

Usually Leo worked himself into the wee hours, but he decided he'd done enough for one day. It was Christmas Eve, after all. He'd earned a break.

Camp Half-Blood didn't usually celebrate mortal holidays, but everyone was in a good mood at the campfire. Some kids were drinking eggnog. Leo, Jason, and Piper passed on that and went for hot chocolate instead.

They listened to sing-along songs and watched sparks from the fire curl up toward the stars.

They all sighed at the memory. "It feels so sad to think about how long ago that was," Piper said. "Soon we'll be sailing off on our quest."

Jason, Leo, and I all I'll finally see Seaweed Brain again... (AN Hands up if you loved their reunion! Hand goes up I totally did.)

"You saved my hide again, guys," Leo told his friends. "Thank you."

Jason smiled. "Anything for you, Valdez. You sure the Argo II will be safe now?"

"Safe? No. But she's not in danger of exploding. Probably."

Piper laughed. "Great. I feel much better."

They sat quietly, enjoying each other's company, but Leo knew this was just a brief moment of peace. The Argo II had to be finished by the summer solstice. Then they would sail off on their great adventure - first to find Jason's old home, the Roman camp. After that...the giants were waiting. Gaea te earth mother, the most powerful enemy of the gods, was marshaling her forces to destroy Olympus. To stop her, Leo and his friends would have to sail to Greece, the ancient homeland of the gods. At any point along the way, Leo knew he might die.

For now though, he decided to enjoy himself. When your life is on a timer to an inevitable explosion, that's about all you can do.

They all sat, thinking about his thoughts.

He raised his goblet of hot chocolate. "To friends."

"Friends," Piper and Jason agreed.

Leo stayed at the campfire until the song leader from Apollo cabin suggested they do the Hokey Pokey. Then Leo decided to call it a night.

Jason stopped reading and closed the book. "That's all there is."

"Dang it!" Leo cursed. Sort of. (AN I don't cuss or curse)

"Let's go back now, it's almost curfew," I suggested.

"Yeah," they all agreed.

We all left.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\

Later that night. (Third person)

Chiron walked into the room he saw the four in. Then he saw the book. The Demigod Diaries by Rick Riordan.

"Amazing," he muttered.

He then took the book and started reading it.

/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\/\ /\/\/\/\/\/\/\

The next day. (Third person)

Not many people see Chiron's office. If you did that day, you would see a bookshelf.

That bookshelf had many items.

Some photos.

Some records.

The original Odyssey.

The Iliad.

And right on the top shelf was a strange book.

This book is called The Demigod Diaries.

I know I've kept many people waiting on this story. If you've read the previous chapter I put on you'll see that I'm now ending this fanfic. So sorry. I'm too busy to keep up and I'm naturally a procrastinator. I apologize for this. This story s now complete.

-Bookworm-olympian