-Silent Night-

-X-

"If you keep trying to move, they'll never let you leave here."

Kougami grimaced, he didn't need to be told that; he was well aware of the fact. Even still, he found himself struggling against the silent protests of his damaged body, heavy and stubborn, unwilling to allow him any freedom. His arms felt as if they were shackled to the bed, strained fingers gripped the railing tightly before becoming numb. He felt weak and defeated. Losing the feeling in his fingers, he was forced to let go after a feeble struggle. "Damn."

He dropped his arm and shifted awkwardly back into his hospital bed. He stubbornly suppressed a sigh of relief and rested his head on the pillow, inhaling deeply with his eyes closed. Every muscle of his body ached and the room spun with each minute movement. The fans sounded obnoxiously loud, jarring the thoughts in his head.

Kougami turned to the side, his cheek feeling the coolness of the pillow while grey eyes scanned the rest of the room. He vaguely acknowledged the assortment of medical equipment that supported his life. Various machines had hooked themselves up to him, though he couldn't remember ever having given consent. It was probably with thanks to the brooding figure standing near him that allowed the doctors to hook him up with whatever they deemed necessary to save his life. He continued looking about, cautiously making sure to sweep his gaze over the man so their eyes wouldn't meet. He was tired, agitated, drugged up, and in no mood for a conversation.

Ginoza, standing perfectly straight by his bedside, eyed him suspiciously. He bore an uncomfortable expression on his face, evident even though his green eyes were mostly obscured by long dark bangs. His hands dangled loosely by his sides as he followed Kougami's shifting eyes before they finally settled on the large door in front of his bed.

After a long silence, Ginoza sighed.

"Have you finally calmed down, Kougami?" Ginoza asked. He ran long pale fingers through his dark hair, applying more pressure as he got to the back of his head. Then he slipped his hand under the collar of his black double breasted winter jacket, gripping the back of his neck as if supporting some invisible weight.

Kougami chose to ignore him. His eyes were unwavering, calculating the distance between himself and the only exit. The events of the night were still fresh in his mind. The smell of blood still lingering in his nostrils, the sound of his heart beat when facing the hunter with the double barrel rifle still pounding in his ears, and the desperate cry from the victim as she was dragged away by what his memory could only recall as a white haired blurry figure.

Above all, the crying face of Tsunemori Akane engraved itself into his memory. It was the heartbroken face of a girl with a heart he thought would never shatter that resonated with him the most. His curiosity was getting the best of him. No, it wasn't curiosity. It was genuine concern.

"Gino, how's Inspector Tsunemori?"

"I escorted her home before coming here. I asked her if she would like to go to her parents' house but she declined saying she would rather be left alone." Ginoza answered.

It wouldn't be good for anyone to be left alone after going through that, Kougami thought.

"Did she say anything?" Kougami pried.

"No."

"Did you say anything to her?" This time, Kougami turned to Ginoza whose eyes never left him. He studied his face trying to read his expression. Ginoza's green eyes softened before he looked away.

He sighed deeply, as if seeing the scene play out before him. "What could I have said?" He answered. The exhaustion was completely evident in his voice and expression.

Slightly annoyed at Ginoza's straightforwardness and also at the fact that he was being completely truthful, Kougami gripped the thin blanket covering him tightly in his fist; his knuckles white against already pale skin.

"She had just witnessed her friend getting murdered in front of her eyes. " Ginoza continued. "I can't imagine how much her hue would have clouded because of that."

Kougami sighed, closed his eyes and grunted out an acknowledgment. He brought himself back to outside the scene of the crime and thought of the lightly falling snow that had roused him. He blinked a few times, eyes glazing over from exhaustion set on by the medicine before hearing Ginoza's voice again.

"How do you feel?" Ginoza asked, crossing his arms. He shifted his weight to his other hip, the dominator still attached to his belt behind his back.

Kougami felt notably sluggish. The light was too bright for his eyes and he began seeing multiples of his ex-partner. Kougami blinked back before choosing to squint at the doorway. His head was throbbing and he could feel it pulsing painfully to the point where he thought his skull would crack open from the pressure. Had Gino asked him a question? He grimaced before sinking back into his pillow. "What?" he mumbled.

"I asked how you are feeling."

Clearer this time, Kougami managed to grasp the end of the question. "Feeling…?"

"Honestly, in this mental state, I feel like I should leave you to rest." Ginoza said, slightly annoyed.

"Feeling…about what?"

"Makishima Shogo." Ginoza explained. "As unfortunate as this event was, you now have proof that he exists."

"Hmph." Kougami smiled weakly to himself before replying. "You must think of me as a monster, Gino."

"Why do you say that?"

"Shouldn't you be asking me what I feel about the traumatic experience Inspector Tsunemori just went through?" Kougami went on. "Instead, you feel like asking me about Makishima as if I only care about him."

"Are you going to answer me?"

"Do you really think I am a monster?"

Ginoza gave no response.

"Fine, "Kougami began. He exhaled in an exaggerated manner, forgetting momentarily about the wounds in his abdomen and winced at the contracting muscles. He coughed loudly, mentally warning himself not to do that again. "I'm not happy that Inspector Tsunemori met Makishima this way. I had never wanted her to be in a situation where she had to use a dominator, even if it didn't work. "

He closed his eyes again and waited to see if Ginoza would interrupt him. After momentary silence between himself and Ginoza, he continued. "When Masaoka told me where she was headed, of course I wanted to follow her and help her. But there may have been another part of me that solely wanted to face Makishima. "

Kougami opened his eyes, gathering what little energy he still had in his body. "I had seen him too, Gino, or at least, I had heard his voice. I wanted to help her, of course, but I would be lying if I said I didn't want to get up just to be able to see him and stop him with my own two hands." Kougami grimaced painfully.

The sides of his body had only been stitched up recently after removing the bullets. Even speaking was difficult and Kougami felt himself needing to catch his breath. It was like he was in a stranger's body.

"You shouldn't talk so much, Kougami." Ginoza walked towards the foot of the bed, half sitting on the railing and hands stuffed into his pocket. "I understand what you are saying. But even if you managed to get to him in your condition, you wouldn't have been able to do anything, especially with the dominator not working."

"No, maybe not but I had no such thoughts in my mind. At the time, as it has been for the past three years, I had only wanted to kill Makishima. I barely remember what I had thought about before that time." Kougami lifted a weak, shaking hand, gathering it into a loose fist. "I wanted to kill the bastard that killed Sasayama in such a terrible way." His fist trembled at the sudden exertion then dropped back onto the bed. The heart rate monitor by his bed increased its irritable beeping.

"If you do not keep calm, the doctor will come back in." Ginoza reminded.

"I had heard him, Gino. Having your prey within your sights then having him slip through your fingers, you have no idea what that feels like."

Ginoza narrowed his eyes. "As I thought, you really are a hunting dog." Ginoza concluded.

"That's why I should have been the one to meet him. Not Tsunemori. If it was only me that caused her friend to die, then at least she wouldn't have to feel this terribly about it. Instead, it's become the responsibility of the team."

"Kougami…"

"He was testing me, not her. I was the one that failed the test. She called out to me, Funahara Yuki. I remember hearing him drag her away and she called out for me to help her." Kougami slammed his fist down on the bed so hard the railing on which Ginoza was seated on shook. "Damn it."

Frustration and regret contorted his face and beads of sweat glistened on his forehead. Kougami felt sick with himself. Makishima had gotten away, Tsunemori's friend had been murdered right in front of her eyes, and her psycho pass would have definitely been damaged.

"There's no point in blaming yourself for this." Ginoza placed a firm hand on the railing and looked at Kougami squarely. "In any case, even if you say that to Tsunemori, the psychological damage has been done. She would have never blamed you anyways."

"You're right."

"What's going on through her mind right now, " Ginoza added, "would be things like: if I hadn't joined the MWPSB she would have never been in danger or if I was a more capable detective I wouldn't have let him get away. She might even feel badly towards you, Kougami, for letting Makishima get away."

"She doesn't deserve to feel any of those things," Kougami snapped.

"She's young too, who knows how this may affect her in the future."

"Tsunemori's stronger than that."

"Let's hope so. But it is with no doubt in my mind that she will feel wholly responsible for this failure."

"Bearing the responsibility…she's too compassionate, Gino."

"Yeah." Ginoza stood up and smoothed out his jacket. He proceeded to leave before stopping to turn back to face Kougami who was watching him from his bed-ridden state. "But then again, so are you."

He continued to walk out, an open mouth Kougami left behind him. As the sliding door opened for Ginoza, Kougami's voice called out to him.

"Gino, wait."

"What is it?"

"Please do me a favour."

The shower had been scalding hot.

The bed freezing cold.

The face in the mirror was that of a stranger.

Tsunemori Akane pressed a cool cloth to her face, trying to stop the swelling around her eyes. The fabric scratched her face roughly as she tried to wash away the few remaining tears. She put the cloth down, gripping it in one hand while taking in her face in the reflection. Her eyes were red and swollen and her dark circles were prominently displayed in the mirror. Akane didn't linger too long; her unrecognizable reflection scared her, made her think too much.

She made her way out of the bathroom and opened up her mini fridge, taking out a bottle of water. Akane closed the door slowly, wishing the time would slow down as to prolong her inevitable need for sleep.

"I let Yuki die without doing anything." She hadn't said anything different since Ginoza-san took her home, nor had her thoughts been anything different. Just as the tears threatened to spill again, she took the only seat at her small table and wrapped her fingers around the chilled bottle. Akane placed her forehead on to the top of the bottle, resting it lightly on the lid.

I let Yuki die without doing anything. The nagging truth in her head couldn't be silenced.

She pressed her forehead into the bottle harder wincing at the pain. I let Yuki die without doing anything.

I let Yuki die without doing anything.

Akane groaned, gathering up all her strength into standing in order to go to the bathroom and wash her face yet again.

It was the abrupt knocking on her door that stilled her.

Akane stared at the door, wondering if she had only imagined the noise to distract herself. She waited until the knock came again, this time louder and with the sense of urgency.

"What time is it, Candy?" She asked looking nowhere in particular.

"The time is now 2:01 a.m. "Candy replied. Her always bright and cheerful voice sounded so foreign and inappropriate at this moment.

"At this time…who is it?" Akane questioned. She had only half gotten up from the table, her fingers still intertwined around the bottle. The coldness spread through her fingers until they sent goose bumps on her arms. Her yellow night shirt provided no help from keeping away the cold.

The animated character raised a finger before announcing, "Inspector Ginoza Nobuchika and a guest. Would you like them to come in?"

Ginoza-san…is it? Akane thought to herself. A guest…Masaoka-san then, she figured. He was the one that found her, lifted her to her feet, and supported her back outside. He had wrapped the blanket around her as well, keeping silent the entire time with the face of a worried father. Akane frowned; she had probably made Masaoka-san worry about her.

"I'll…let them in." She got up from her table thinking up an apology for Masaoka-san on the way to the door. Turning the knob, she was instead greeted by two tall dark figures in her doorway.

"Kougami-san…?" She began. He was supposed to be in the hospital recovering from his gunshot wounds. "What are you doing here? You're hurt; shouldn't you be in the hospital?"

"Tsunemori, if anyone had been hurt tonight it would be you." Kougami responded.

"K-Kougami-san…," Akane stammered. She felt the choked up feeling again in her chest. The tears that had flowed relentlessly before she forced herself to stop were held back no longer. Akane broke out into heaving sobs, her chest felt like it was going to burst open and the hole in her chest ached painfully with each heave.

I'm being unprofessional, she thought.

Trying to calm her breathing, Akane wrapped her arms around herself in an effort to stop the trembling. It was embarrassing, crying uncontrollably in front of her boss and subordinate. Muffled sobs escaped from her mouth as hands desperately tried to wipe away the flood of tears on her face.

"Y-You were shot, Kougami-san. Please go back to the hospital and rest."

"How am I supposed to walk away…when all I see is you breaking down in front of me?" Kougami grabbed her wrist and pulled her body towards him, embracing her. He ignored the pain on his side and wrapped his arms around her small body, stiff from shock.

"K-Kougami-san…?" Akane's weak voice was muffled as she spoke into his chest. Her forehead pressed up upon a steady heart beat. She felt him place his chin on the top of her head then turn his head so his cheek rested there instead.

"Just stay here." He said simply.

Akane heard the click of her door closing. Ginoza-san must have left them for some privacy, she noted.

She followed Kougami's orders, finding herself calmed by the steady rhythm of his beating heart. His chest was warm and she fit perfectly in the grooves of his well defined muscles. Her heaving had become only small shudders and every now and then she would feel the movement of Kougami's cheek on the top of her head. His arms tightening around her whenever her body heaved from the sobs she couldn't control.

It was comforting, having these strong arms wrapped around her so tightly. The silence was comfortable too. Akane didn't dare speak as to not ruin this moment. They must have stood there for ages, until Akane felt her eyelids drooping. Her eyes were all cried out and her body had begun relying on Kougami's to stand up straight. The exhaustion had caught up with her.

"Inspector…you should get some sleep." Kougami's low voice broke the long silence. He untangled his arms from around her and stepped back, putting himself at arm's length from her and placing his hands on her shoulders. "Please, take care of yourself."

She nodded hesitantly, keeping her eyes down.

"Goodnight."

Akane looked up at the warm almost apologetic smile on Kougami's face. She managed a response even though a little flustered.

"Goodnight, Kougami-san."

Kougami turned and opened the door to let himself out, then closed it behind him while Akane watched his disappearing figure in silence.

Akane stood in the doorway for a moment trying to figure out why it felt so unusually cold before Candy appeared in front of her.

"Your hue shows an improvement, Akane!" Candy reported happily.

Akane jumped at the oddly cheerful voice.

"Is that so…"

"I'd figured you'd still be here." Kougami noted.

"You're a latent criminal; there is no way I can leave you unsupervised." Ginoza had been leaning against the wall beside Akane's apartment the entire time. He had begun nodding off before Kougami had found him.

The inspector noted the tear stained wetness on his subordinates dress shirt. He pushed his glasses up and rubbed the bridge of his nose with two long pale fingers before continuing to speak. "I'm taking you back to the hospital now."

"Yeah." Kougami complied.

He admitted to himself that he felt almost happy. It was that happiness that got him to ask his next question.

"You're not going to scold me?" Kougami mused.

Ginoza had been walking just slightly in front of him the entire time, sneaking glances to predict when his lack of strength would cause him to fall over. However, he seemed unsurprised by Kougami's remark.

"For the sake of the team and more importantly, the sake of Inspector Tsunemori Akane, I think you did what only you can do." Ginoza replied while quickening his pace.

Kougami, slightly stunned took longer to grasp the meaning behind Ginoza's words. He supported himself by placing a hand on the wall before using it to push himself forward. He zipped up his jacket covering his dress shirt before walking out of the building to the still falling snow.

This idiot, he thought, visiting me to let me ask those questions, keeping me awake with his own, allowing me to complete this ridiculous request, and now this. A low chuckle managed to escape his lips.

"Then," Kougami said as he picked up his pace before falling too far behind. "Aren't you the most compassionate of us all?"

A.N.: This is my first time writing a story. Even the formatting was a little difficult for me. I don't really have much to say other than I really had fun writing this story. If you have any suggestions then please let me know. Thank you for reading!