When Allen opened his door that morning, the first thing he saw saw a piece of paper titled The Black Order Rulebook. Looking down the hall, he saw copies of the paper taped to every door.

1. Do not make Allen mad.

a) We need him.

b) He is the Destroyer of Time.

c) Calling him Noah-chan is likely to annoy him at best, enrage him and cause him to release the 14th at worst.

This should have been fairly obvious, but some Exorcists and Finders had apparently picked up Lavi's habit of calling Allen "His dear, sweet, Noah-chan." The only reason Lavi could get away with this was because Kanda had first dibs on ending his existence.

2. Tyki is now officially recognized as Allen's stalker.

a) Nicknames such as Teaseman, Thick-lens, and Butterfly Boy are acceptable.

Since the Noah had taken to following Allen around in both his light and dark form, Lavi declared that Tyki must be Allen's boyfriend. Allen could be heard screaming, "He's not my boyfriend, he's my stalker!" while chasing Lavi with Edge End.

3. Do not irritate Kanda.

a) Only Road can do this, and hope to survive.

b) Lavi is not an exception, Kanda is just trying to come up with an extraordinarily unique and painful way to kill him, preferably one that takes a long time.

Kanda snapped. It was most likely Lavi's fault, but Allen claimed partial credit. Kanda was in no state to tell his sidde of things. He was too busy trying to track the two down and kill them. The Science Department ended up creating a barrier to trap Kanda in. He swore every one of them would die a death nearly as painful and drawn-out as Lavi's.

4. Do not steal Mugen.

a) This means you, Lavi.

b) And you, Road.

Somehow, Lavi had teamed up with the blue-haired Noah. They had made an unholy alliance, and even Tyki couldn't stop them. The world was doomed.

5. Though they show up from time to time to stalk Allen or play with Lavi, Noah are still our enemies.

a) We do not invite them to parties.

b) Or accept tea party invitations from Road.

The two Noah were such a common occurrence at HQ that people had taken to inviting them to events. In return, Road hosted a tea party. Allen and Kanda had come back wearing dresses. Allen had needed therapy, and Kanda needed to be heavily sedated.

6. Komui must register his experiments with Reever.

a) Explanations of what they do, how long the effects last, and potential side effects are necessary.

b) No more de-aging or gender-changing potions are to be created. All current ones must be turned over to Reever as well.

The higher-ups had heard rumors of some of Komui's experiments. They panicked, fearing possible revenge from HQ, and requested this rule. Komui sulked for days. Then, with no warning, he began hanging out with Road. And whispering. Allen contemplated taking the twins up on their offer to kill him. It was taking too long for Kanda to do it.

7. Timothy is not permitted to try possessing Allen's body.

a) It gives him (Allen) a headache.

Lavi had heard how Timothy could possess Akuma. He wondered if it could extend to the Noah. Allen was not pleased. Timothy on the other hand, had loved it. He'd had an intellectually stimulating conversation with Neah on their unique habits, and driven Black Allen up a wall. Lenalee eventually felt pity for the poor moyashi, and removed Timothy.

8. Do not accept fudge, brownies, or cookies, from either Tyki or Road.

a) They are most likely poisoned.

b) Or drugged.

Road was bored. Tyki had weed. They decided to give the sweets as "gifts". What followed after was a three day strike, buffet, jousting competition, and somehow Lulubell appeared. And then disappeared. Kanda hoped he had been hallucinating. He was never going to close his eyes around Lavi again.

9. Do not steal Lavi's hammer while he is on a mission.

a) Road will save him, but that help comes with a price.

Kanda and Allen had taken revenge. Lavi was abandoned at the mercy of 5 level 2 Akuma. Road decided to save him, and then informed him that she was owed a life-debt. Lavi made a poor choice.

10. Do not play dolls with Road.

a) It has a detrimental effect on whatever sanity you cling to.

To repay Road for saving him on his last mission, Lavi had agreed to spend two days with her. When he came back to the Order, he wore nothing but frilly skirts and lacy tops for a week. Allen almost died due to muscle strain. he had tried to keep from laughing. Tyki had no such issues. He almost died of the laughter.

11. Do not tell the higher-ups about the time Tyki was partially turned into a cat.

a) They are currently pretending that they don't know about the two Noah who frequent the Order.

b) No need to inform them about the tea parties either.

This should have been obvious, but some poor fool had to search each report before sending them to the higher-ups.

12. No matter how tempting it is, do not refer to Lulubell as "that cute little puddy-tat."

a) She is not friendly with us.

b) She will turn into a giant black panther, and gut you.

Lavi. There was something wrong with that kid.

13. You do not mention debts around Allen.

a) We do not want the Black Demon Allen to appear.

Jasdevi had found him on a mission. Lavi ran and hid. In the end, Jasdevi had fled, the Akuma were dead, and the town was in ruins.

14. Do not play poker with Allen.

a) You will lose.

b) The exception is Tyki. But only sometimes.

Poor, poor fools. Anyone who thought they could out-cheat Allen often went home in just their underwear.

15. Do not mention the word "kinky" around Tyki.

a) We do not need Allen cowering in the labs again.

b) Tyki grins. Freakily.

No one likes a Tyki freaky- er, a freaky Tyki. And we all know he's obsessed with Allen. No need to give him any ideas.

Lavi put down his pencil, and leaned back in his chair. Road skipped over to him and flung herself in his lap.

"All done?"

Lavi grinned. "Yup. Could you convince Tyki to put this in the mess hall?"

"Sure thing!"

Road ran off yelling, "TYYYYYYYKKIIIIIIIIIIIII!"

Lavi chuckled quietly. This was going to be fun.