02/27/2013

Hello folks! I had an idea, and I wanted to seek your approval, should I write a chapter from Sam's PoV? I'm posting this chapter as one of Charlie's letters. Thanks for the reviews! Deceived Deception- thank you, I'm glad you liked it, your story is amazing! By the way, I love your name! TheseWordsSpeak- thank you so much! Ohthosebooks- thanks! Im glad you liked it! Anonymous- I don't know when you'll come back, but I will continue this story! Thank you!

5 February 1994

Dear Friend,

Do you know when you have cut your finger and you don't know you have till you wash your hands? It happened to me when I visited Sam, but I didn't cut my finger, I found out that I haven't gotten over what my Aunt Helen did to me. I gave you this example because I didn't know I was hurting till I had to talk about it.

After Sam and I kissed, we stayed in the park for a little bit longer, I had my arm around her shoulder, and she had her arm around my waist. I had never felt happier in my life, maybe except when Sam kissed me for the first time. We were finally together! She showed me around campus, but then she got cold so we went back to her dorm. We walked to her dorm with our arms still around each other, and she kept her head on my shoulder. We entered her dorm, and to be honest, it was sort of depressing. The lights were off; there was an old spindly table with an old spindly chair on one side of the room, and the same parallel to that wall. Next to the desk, there was a bed, the same on the opposite side. Basically, there were a lot of spindly things in the room. Sam sat on what I assumed was her bed and offered me to sit next to her. I sat down and we were quiet for sometime. For the first time, I felt awkward. Sam looked like she was having an internal argument with herself, because she was looking at me and opening and closing her mouth, as if trying to decide whether or not she should talk. I decided maybe I should ask her. So I did.

"Is something wrong, Sam?"

"Uh, what? No, no! Everything's great!" She didn't sound so sure.

"Okay, where's Katie?" Katie was her roommate, and I wanted to talk to her, since she was clearly still having that internal argument.

"She's gone to visit her home for a couple of days, there was a death in her family." She said, I was getting worried because there was something she was not telling me.

"Sam, are you sure there's nothing on your mind?" I asked carefully.

She sat up and came closer to me. She started slowly, "Charlie, I want to ask you something, but please don't cry. Okay?"

"I thought I improved on the crying, I seriously don't cry that much anymore." I interrupted.

"That's not the point. So… um…" She trailed off, and the internal argument began again.

"Sam, you look like you're having a war in your head, what's wrong?" I sounded harsher than I had intended, actually I intended to be very gentle. I sounded very annoyed. I hope she didn't notice.

"Sorry, Charlie. I don't know how to ask you-"

"My goodness, Sam, just ask me already!" I tried to make it sound like was joking, but I added a tinge of annoyance.

"Okay. Charlie, why didn't you ever ask me out after that night in my room? I mean, we both knew that you liked me and I liked you, why did you wait?" Oh no.

"I can't answer that, Sam. I'm sorry." I couldn't answer her because I knew the answer, and I wasn't sure if I had the courage to say it.

"Charlie, this has bothered me since a very long time. Please tell me." She pleaded. I was going to have to tell her.

"Okay. See… uh…" this was going to be hard.

"Charlie, it's okay. You can tell me, I won't judge you."

"I know you won't, it's me. It's hard. I honestly didn't know it bothered me so much. I've never had to talk about it." I said.

"About what, Charlie?" She sounded worried. I didn't want her to worry. Me worrying about myself was enough.

"No, Sam don't worry. Just give me a minute."

"Okay, Charlie."

"Okay. Sam, do you know about my Aunt Helen?"

"Yes."

"She… well… she sexually abused me." I had tears in my eyes but I held them back.

"She what?!"

"She-"

"I heard you. But what-"

"Let me explain, Sam." I heard my voice crack. I took her hand for support.

"That night, when we were… you know… doing things, something you did triggered a flashback. It felt very good but when you touched me, it triggered a flashback, of my Aunt Helen touching me the same way. My doctor said that I didn't remember it because I suppressed the memory because I loved her very much. Anyway, I had a flashback, followed by a breakdown. My doctor in the hospital helped me put the pieces together, and I realized that it happened every week, when we watched Saturday Night Live." I had tears streaming down my face, but I didn't care, and Sam didn't seem to mind it either.

"I'm sorry I never told you, Sam. I didn't have the courage." I was sobbing by now, but it hurt too much to hold the tears back. I had my head hanging the whole time. I looked and Sam was weeping too.

"N-no, Sam don't cry. Please." I pleaded. I felt her wrap her arms around me, and I felt my arms going up and hugging her back tightly.

"I couldn't ask you out because I was a baby about my breakdown." I said bitterly. I hated myself for making her cry.

"No, Charlie, don't say that. You were not a baby about anything. You don't know how brave you are."

I buried my head in the crook of her neck and sobbed. She ran her hand down my hair and I grabbed the back of her shirt for support. It hurt too much to think that I made Sam cry.

"I'm sorry I made you recall that again, Charlie. I feel terrible." She sobbed.

"No Sam. You have the right to know. Please don't cry."

"Charlie, I know how it feels, though my experience isn't half as bad as yours, but I know how much it hurts to think about it. I just lived that with you, and you're the one who went through it. Don't tell me to not cry."

"Sam, don't say that. Every experience is different, but that doesn't mean that it was any better or worse than what someone else went through. You went through it and it hurt. That is what matters." I said. We were still hugging. She pulled back, and held my face in her hands and said, "I love you so much, Charlie". She leaned in slowly, and she kissed me. It became pretty intense and soon our clothes were flying around the room.

It seems weird that we had sex after all this, but it hurt less. I told her that and she smiled and kissed me again. So I guess it's okay to cry sometimes and tell someone you love that something happened to you, because if they know, they'll help you.

Love always,

Charlie.

That was long! So, should I do a Sam's PoV of this chapter? Should I continue this story and get them married and stuff? Did you like the story? Please answer these questions especially the last one and please review! Review review review‼