Ok so I thought of this story this morning and I just had to write this before I forgot! So enjoy and tell me if I should continue or not…. R&R

Disclaimer: I don't own VA but I do own this plot ;)

Rose POV

Chapter 1

"Love fades, mine has." My world shattered, tears filled my eyes and I choked back a sob. I don't want to give him the satisfaction of seeing me weak so I say

"Well then Guardian Belikov…I hope you are happy with your choice. I won't bother you ever again; have a nice life. Good bye…" I say barely louder and a whisper, I try to keep my voice from breaking but it's no use. "forever." I walk out of the chapel and once I'm out of sight I sprint towards my room. I open my door and once I am inside I slam it shut. I start to sob; I lean back against the door and sink down to the floor.

You aren't wanted by anyone… the voice in my head said. NO! I am wanted I am!

No you're not even your soul mate doesn't want you around … before I even realize what I'm doing I get up and head to the bathroom and open the drawer were I keep the old razors Lissa used to use to cut herself with. The darkness takes over and I reach for them and place one on my skin of my wrist I press down drawing blood. I sob again and watching it drip down my hand.

I cut across my wrists 4 times each side, Lissa always said physical pain always made the mental pain go away… it works. I stop myself from cutting again the darkness took control of me I shake my head and look in the mirror. I see a weak girl. I get angry because Rose Hathaway isn't weak she is strong I walk out of the bathroom not bothering to bandage my cuts I continue to walk out of my room and head to the gym. I reach the gym door and throw the doors open no one is there I walk up to a punching bag and start to take all my anger out on it.

Worthless….

Weak…

Nothing…

Despicable…

I punch the bag over and over again my hands start to bleed but I don't care I welcome the pain. I hear nothing, I see nothing but blackness, I let out a scream of frustration and punch harder if it's possible I continue like this more what feels like a few minuets. I block the world out, my anger fueling me to work harder, punch harder, kick harder, work longer. I didn't even notice that HE walked in and was watching me and yelling at me for to stop. I turn and look at him.

"Rose what are you doing?" he asks. I look at the guardians around him looking at me nervously.

"Nothing don't worry yourself Guardian Belikov." I spit the words at him the darkness rearing its ugly head again.

His eyes register my mood and the way I am acting. Lastly he looks at my hands and wrists. "Oh Rose… what did you do?" he looks horrified

"Nothing you need to worry about. You hate me remember."

"I don't hate you…" he walks closer to me, close enough to touch my hands "and this isn't you" he grabs my hand pointing at my wrist.

"You're wrong this is me. This is what I am now." I jerk my hand back from him. And walk towards the doors

"I don't hate you…" I hear him say.

I whip around and yell "Well you certainly don't love me! If you did you wouldn't have done this to me!" I turn back to the doors and start to walk again. I feel dizzy and I stumble. I catch myself by grabbing hold of the wall.

"Rose?" Dimitri says slowing walking over to me "Are you…" he's cut off by me collapsing to the floor. I start to see images of death, my death. I can't breath, I can't scream, there's fire in my throat, images flashing before my eyes. I see people around running, fleeing, red eyes everywhere. Ghosts appear pointing at me, I know what they want.

"It's my time, my turn…" I whisper before all the lights go out.