Disclaimer: As always I own nothing but the original characters and the situations all characters end up in. Everything else belongs to someone else and that's the way of it.h

Don't Drink and Argue

Thanks to the liquor everyone was consuming in great quantities the atmosphere in the room had improved greatly. The group of teachers, many of them old enough to know better, were all drunk or so close it was rather hard to tell that they weren't just as pissed as the majority of the faculty. No one would argue that they didn't have cause to celebrate though, since anyone who'd ever had the misfortune to meet, much less teach Philip Dingleberry would completely understand celebrating the fact that the idiot wouldn't be returning to Hogwarts to repeat his third year for the fourth time. The boy had apparently decided to break the rules and attempt to practice his potion making the week before school started once more and things had gone wrong. Horribly wrong. The boy was now a resident of St. Mungos for the foreseeable future and that meant none of them had to deal with the boy or the kid's delusional parents who believed their son was a victim of bad teaching and not as dumb as a troll.

Said parents were determined that the kid graduate from Hogwarts as all his ancestors had done, so as soon as the boy was returned to something resembling a human being he'd be back, unfortunately, but until then they were all celebrating.

After all, school started in two days and this was the best news many of the teachers had gotten since the end of the war.

The two youngest teachers of the bunch were also one of the big reasons everyone had been quick to dive into the liquor they'd acquired for said celebration. Normally, while at Hogwarts, Albus Potter and Scorpius Malfoy stayed the hell out of each other's way and were civil enough when that wasn't an option. It had served the two well during their years at school together and both had been teaching at the school for the past two years without any major incidents on their records.

Or that's how it was up until it was discovered that they were dating the same guy over the summer.

Not being idiots they'd quickly realized that they'd both been completely in the dark about the other, which was what had prevented them from taking pages out of their fathers' books where the other was concerned. But it had definitely put a strain on their already barely cordial relationship, especially since neither man was the type to talk things out in order to assert their thoughts and feelings on the matter. As it was they'd both left their cheating boyfriend in his apartment and got the hell out of there without even letting their ex explain or even give them some hint as to who had been the other man.

For his part Albus considered the whole debacle as the final nail in the coffin so to speak. He was ready to accept, once and for all, that he was just too much like his Uncle Charlie and was doomed to be a bachelor for the rest of his life. Though doomed probably wasn't the right word seeing as there were good things about being a bachelor, particularly when you were gay. It wasn't like he could have children biologically after all, and he could always adopt when he was old enough to handle single parenting.

And worse came to worse he always had his animals.

It was hard to find the idea appealing at the moment though, as he was sitting beside another confirmed bachelor who, he'd always thought, regretted never having married or had kids. But then Hagrid's life had never been an easy one period, which just made it that much sadder and wrong.

And thinking that had the younger man throwing an arm around his friend's waist since he couldn't reach Hagrid's shoulder, joining him in his drinking song.

)

Later That Night

As their suites were across from each other Albus and Scorpius had no choice but to walk back together unless they wanted to look so childish that they couldn't even handle each other's company for the short, less than ten minute walk. They'd been kicked out of the teacher's lounge along with everyone else after all, and they were the only ones living in this hallway currently. Thankfully they were drunk enough that they weren't even really thinking about why they were at odds for the moment, minds focused on how good it was going to feel to get into their beds and under their covers.

When they arrived at their destination good manners had Albus turning to wish the other man good night, Scorpius so surprised by the gesture that he spun back around with the intention of acknowledging the comment, his head spinning as a result so that he stumbled towards him instead.

Instinct again kicking in the Gryffindor moved in to wrap his arms around the Slytherin in support, aware enough to know that he could handle hard liquor better than the blonde in his grasp could. He was bigger, for one thing, and for another when he had alcohol it wasn't the fancy wines and cocktails Mr. Pureblood was likely used to, Albus thought with a smirk.

"Potter…why are you holding me?"

"It seemed like the thing to do at the time?"

"Moron." Though the man was incredibly warm, Scorpius thought as he fought the urge to move closer. Potter wasn't THAT much bulkier than he was, but those muscles he could feel through his clothes were rather nice too. Too bad they belonged to Albus Potter. "Was this why he screwed around on me with you? Because of your muscles?"

Scorpius wasn't even aware he'd spoken that outloud until Albus informed him that it didn't matter why the little shit had two timed them, just that he had.

"Your muscles aren't even that big."

Drunk enough to care, Albus drew back and then deliberately lifted up the hem of his shirt to show off the fact that there was nothing but toned flesh there, even if he didn't have the serious definition his older brother sported. "You're just jealous because you've got the same body you had when we were students together and I've got this."

Flushing with insult Scorpius glared at the man, his voice laced with venom. "I do not. And don't talk to me about looks, Mr. Perpetual Bedhead."

"Sorry for having better things to do than spend hours on my personal grooming."

"I do not spend hours on my grooming!"

"Oh please. If I threw you head first onto the ground you'd probably be able to slide across the floor like a greased watermelon."

"Bastard!" Pulling back his fist Scorpius aimed for the Gryffindor's smug face, cursing when the other man fingers curved around his, halting it before it could make contact.

Moving entirely on instinct Albus turned and backed Scorpius up against the wall, keeping a tight grip on both the man's wrists to be safe while he used the rest of his body to pin the undeniably dangerous Slytherin against the cool stone. And since he didn't appreciate being insulted, or having fists thrown in his direction, Albus's resort was as nasty as his mood was becoming as he suggested that the reason why their mutual ex had hooked up with him in the first place was because Scorpius's tongue was nothing short of venomous and who would want that in their mouth?

"Are you suggesting that I don't know how to snog? How dare you-I'll show you who's the better kisser, Potter. Prepare to be ruined for life."

Determined to prove his point and defend his honor Scorpius moved in and went about snogging the Gryffindor to the best of his ability, deliberately bringing his tongue into play since that had been insulted too. And if he quickly forgot exactly why he was doing this, other than the man tasted amazing, well he remembered eventually.

Breaking off the kiss, Scorpius stuck out his chin and tried not to think about how sorry he was to end the contact. "So there. See, best is me. I mean I'm the best." The snogging had gone to his bloody head as much as the booze.

"We'll see about that."

This time they were both equal participants in the snogging, Albus letting Scorpius's arms go so that he could cup the Slytherin's ass in his hands. It was a really nice ass, the Gryffindor noted, wondering how he'd missed that all these years.

How they went from making out in the hallway to the inside of Albus's rooms was something they'd never know, the sexual and alcohol daze they were in making that part pretty much a blur in both their minds. All they knew for sure was that somehow they got into the room and ended up taking turns slamming the other against one of the two walls in determined shows of domination that didn't last long before the other managed to gain the upper hand through strength or cunning. Both were dominant males after all, and neither was used to being submissive or willing to behave that way. This was just another competition between them, another way of proving that they would never bend to the will of the other.

Eventually the walls ended as they stumbled into the parlor, both cursing and clutching the other for support as they struggled to stay on their feet.

"Still need me to hold you up for support, Malfoy?" Albus managed to pant out after breaking off their latest kiss with a loud, sexy as hell pop, struggling to get some air to the brain cells the Slytherin had fried. "Do you have any muscles at all?"

And to find out for himself Albus reached out and yanked the man's jumper up and over the blonde's head, tossing it aside before turning his attention to running his hands over the now bare torso. Not bad at all, he informed Scorpius, though pretty girlie.

Since he couldn't argue that his stomach wasn't as muscled as the Gryffindor's Scorpius's lips curved into a scowl. "That's not what's important." Reaching between them he made quick work of Albus's belt and then trousers, forcefully parting the material so that he could wrap his fingers around the man's erection, squeezing hard for emphasis while Albus cursed him. "This is what matters." And damn, the man was hung.

He hadn't thought that through.

Voice significantly huskier thanks to Scorpius continued grip, Albus showed that he was indeed thinking a little straighter, though no less perverted. "So you want to measure them, then? I'm game."

In short order Albus had the blonde's trousers out of his way and Scorpius in hand so to speak, the Gryffindor taking it a couple steps further by deliberately moving his fisted hand up and down the other man's length since, as he pointed out, they couldn't measure accurately until they were both fully erect.

Refusing to back down even though alarms were going off in the back of his mind, Scorpius accepted the unspoken challenge, both men failing miserably to hide the fact that they fucking loved being jerked off by the other and were getting perilously close to orgasming as the minutes ticked by.

And continued to tick by as they forgot why they were doing this in the first place and instead turned their alcohol soaked minds to controlling their bodies just long enough that they weren't the first to come.

It was Scorpius who gave in first, letting go of Albus so that he could wrap his arms around the Gryffindor's neck as he hung on for dear life, his knees no longer up to holding his weight as he buried his face against the man's throat and shamelessly begged for more.

If he'd been sober Albus would have rubbed that fact in Scorpius's face, but as it was the blonde's reactions to what he was doing was driving him crazy enough that all he cared about was giving Scorpius exactly what the man wanted so that he could get what he wanted, which would require the Slytherin to be in too good a mood to deny him.

He wanted more than a hand job now that he'd gotten a glimpse of just how sexy the man could be and he wanted to see more.

Breathing in Albus's scent like it was a drug, why had he never noticed just how fucking good the man smelled, Scorpius's musing on the topic died under an avalanche of pleasure as his climax swept through him, catching him completely by surprise as he'd never imagined that it could be this good with Albus Potter of all people. Man had he misjudged him.

Meanwhile Albus waited until the other man had mostly recovered from his orgasm before he started herding Scorpius towards the bedroom and the bed he intended to shag the man's brains out on.

He hadn't come yet after all, and he'd much rather do that while inside the Slytherin's notoriously tight ass.

Oh baby.

)

His feet made no sound on the stone flooring as Yue headed towards him school term home. It was later then he would have liked but Mrs. Norris the Third and Mr. Norris had delaying him. Albus would probably already be fast asleep, Yue thought to himself, which suited him just fine since that meant that the bed would be nice and warm for him when he got there. He hated a cold bed almost as much as he hated baths, and that was saying something.

That his companion loved the latter was a quirk he chose to put up with since Albus had few flaws in general.

Arriving at his hallway Yue had almost reached his door when a smell caught his attention, his eyes narrowing as he padded over to stand in front of Malfoy's door. Yes, the scent was definitely coming from in there and there was only one conclusion his intelligent mind could come up with.

The potions teacher had gotten himself a pet over the summer.

It wasn't a pureblood like himself, probably a half or a quarter if his superior nose was correct.

He was tempted to scratch at the door, see if the other animal was still awake and interested in getting acquainted, but it was late, and if Albus was awake he would worry about him if he didn't get back to their room shortly. They had a whole school year to get to know each other, though if the creature was anything like his master Yue couldn't see himself wanting to make friends with it.

Tomorrow he'd see about introducing himself, Yue decided before heading across the hallway to his own door, walking through what looked like solid wood but was really just an illusion set up to look that way.

Heading for the bedroom Yue frowned when he saw the clothing scattered in that direction, sniffing his disapproval. He didn't like their living space to be messy and he and Albus were going to-that shirt wasn't Albus, it smelled like Malfoy. Malfoy and liquor.

Trepidation settling in his gut Yue ran the rest of the way to the bedroom, using the steps that led up to the large, four poster bed to get to his master who was passed out on his stomach as usual. And climbing up and onto that warm, bare back, Yue stared down at the other man who was lying beside Albus.

Uh oh….not good, not good at all.

Sparing Albus a brief glance Yue scowled and shook his head, unable to believe that the man had been dumb enough to get drunk and get naked with Malfoy, who would no doubt cough up a metaphorical hair ball tomorrow when he woke up and realized what would happen.

That being the case he better find the man's wand and hide it, just to be safe.

)

Waking up with his face already scrunched up in pain, Scorpius allowed himself one low whimper for his stupidity in letting himself be drawn into a drinking competition with Potter. Not that it had been official or anything, but it had felt like one and he'd been compelled, like an idiot, to try and keep up with the man throughout the evening. Even half drunk he'd known how stupid that was, the man was bigger and probably went out drinking crappy booze like that all the time. Probably had an immunity to the stuff and was no doubt in his bed now without a hangover just waiting to split his skull in two, the Slytherin mused bitterly. His own headache would increase by ten folds as soon as he opened his eyes, he just knew it, but he wasn't the type to lie around in bed or shy away from facing the consequences of his actions.

So he forced his eyes to open part way, staying that way until a sound that was a cross between a rumble and a purr had him turning his head with eyes open to take in the sight beside him.

Holy-Why the hell was Albus Potter in his bed?

Why was Albus Potter BUTT FUCKING NAKED in his BED?

And…this wasn't his bed.

Scooting backwards automatically, his only thought to get as far away from the other man as possible, Scorpius barely got out a yelp of shock right before he tumbled off of the bed, landing hard on his knees.

Cursing over that fact Scorpius rose to his feet, wanting to face the Gryffindor properly if his fall had woken the other man up.

And it was when he was standing straight and tall, feeling relieved when he noted that Potter was still asleep, that he became aware of the fact that his knees weren't the only part of his body that was throbbing. The knees were the big thing, his arse only a little tender, but it was the oddity of it that had him questioning why it should feel out of sorts in the first place.

That was when some very graphic and disturbing images began running through his mind, the last few requiring him to sit on the side of the bed as his legs gave out from under him.

Not only had he lost his bleeding mind and shagged Albus Potter…but he'd been on the bottom. He'd let the son of a bitch fuck his blooming ass.

It was official, he'd brought his family to a new low.

And here he hadn't thought that possible.