Another fem!Bilbo fic, because I just love her too much! Again, full of headcanon. I've tried to stick closely to the movie!verse, but there will probably be some deviation. I pull the "artistic licence" card in defence. Try and ignore any spelling or grammatical errors, it's all unbeta-ed.

All characters and settings and stuff belong to J.R.R. Tolkien.

A Burglar Is Injured

Lace

As the troll threw her bodily into Kili, all Billa Baggins could feel was pain. Many different kinds of pain, certainly. But really, just pain.

A sharp stab in her neck that cracked when the bumbling troll let her loose. As she collided with a very solid dwarf she felt as though her chest caved and all the air escaped in a tremendous rush. An outstretched arm to cushion her fall hit the ground at a funny angle and a tingling jolt shot all the way to her shoulder. Worst of all, though, was the searing and tearing of what was unmistakably Kili's sword slicing through her calf.

Her scream was lost amongst the battle cry of attacking dwarves. The one she was atop of rolled her off quickly and joined the fray without a backwards glance. Panicking in the face of such unknown mayhem, Billa clutched her left wrist to her chest and tried to crawl out of harm's way on her remaining limbs. She could feel hot, thick blood slowly oozing its way out of the open wound on her leg.

Frantically looking around, she saw the troll knife she had so nearly picked before lying discarded, away from the skirmish. Using a tree to help her stand on shaky legs, she tried to ignore her protesting wound. Carefully sneaking around the edge of the fight so as not to be seen or caught, she quickly snatched up the weapon and made for her original goal – the ponies.

The knife was massive, it's blade at least as long as her torso and curved into a wicked tip. The grip was hard and smooth, a dirty and yellowed white that Billa suspected was probably bone. She shuddered.

She had to drag the knife along the ground with both hands, limping slightly as she went. When she reached the pen the ponies were being kept in, Billa heaved the giant weapon with all her strength, working against the sudden stabbing sensation in her wrist. It swung into the air, picking up momentum and cut deep into the rope securing the gate. There was a satisfying thunk as it stuck fast in the wooden post beneath. Grabbing the loose gate, Billa lent back and used her weight to swing it open and take some pressure off of her leg. The blood was flowing more freely from the gash now, and she was beginning to feel a little light-headed, which was no good at all.

With nothing obscuring them, the ponies bolted into the forest, away from the cries and grunts and roars of the fight. Watching them disappear into the darkness, Billa's back was turned to the cacophony behind her. She did not see the monstrous troll hand until it wrapped around her tiny body.

"Lay down your arms, or we'll rip 'is off."

Two of the trolls were clasping each of Billa's appendages, suspending her a terrifying height above the ground. The dwarves were gathered below her, Kili and Ori looking particularly frustrated at their helplessness.

Thorin radiated furiousness. Billa could not help thinking some of that was directed at her for getting into this situation. If she was not preoccupied fearing for her life now, she would have feared for it at the prospect of facing Thorin after this mess. Her eyes, stretched wide with fright, caught his. She did not know what he would do, but sincerely hoped whatever it was let her live with all her limbs. He seemed to hesitate, taking in all his options, never looking away from her.

Aggravated by this defeat, and seeing no way around it, Thorin stabbed his sword into the ground before him. The others followed suit, dropping their weapons. He needed his burglar too much for her to simply be ripped apart this early in their journey. There was also a small part of him that knew he would never be able to purposely risk her life unnecessarily. Sometimes morals were a burden.

Their situation began to seem rather dire when the trolls started stuffing half the dwarves and the hobbit into sacks, tying the others to a spit over a great open flame.

When the three trolls took up an argument over the best way to cook dwarves, everyone became a little desperate and fretful. Tired of the bickering, one of the trolls mentioned the rapid approach of dawn, and Billa got a wonderful spark of an idea.

Wobbling unsteadily in her sack as she tried to stand up and hop towards her captors, Billa half thought through a rushed plan that mostly consisted of the word stall before they spotted her. Then, much to the dwarves shock and horror, she started to tell the trolls they were going about cooking their prey entirely the wrong way, and proceeded to offer alternatives. Behind her there was a huge uproar of anger and betrayal from her likewise sacked companions. Closing her eyes briefly in exasperation, she wished they had the brains to shut up and play along. She really was feeling quite faint.

One of the trolls picked up poor Bombur from the pile of dwarves in an attempt to prove his point that a dwarf could be eaten raw, boots and all. Billa, desperately distressed, tried to think quickly through the enormous noise the dwarves were making in protest as Bombur got closer and closer to the troll's foul mouth.

"Not that one!," she cried. "He's got… worms. In his tubes! They all do!"

"What?" a furious dwarf wailed behind her. She did not know which one it was, but he sounded mightily offended. Nevertheless, the troll dropped Bombur in disgust. In the sack, she could feel her entire lower leg coated in a thick, warm layer of blood. It had started to pool at the bottom and she was growing increasing worried, she needed this over quickly. The dwarves all started up again, trying to vehemently argue Billa's accusation. She was having none of that.

"They're riddled with parasites. I wouldn't risk it if I were you."

As the dwarves continued to call her traitor, it took everything she had not to roll her eyes at their thick-headedness. The trolls regarded her suspiciously, and she tried to show as convincing a face as possible, like when she made her younger cousin Primula believe if you ate cheese after sunset on a Thursday goblins would sneak into your house at night and take you away. She hated it when Primula ate all her cheese.

"Yes!" cried one of the dwarfs, finally. "I've got parasites! Huge ones!" She thought it might have been Kili, which was rather odd. He was definitely not who she thought would have picked up on her play first. Regardless, and to her great delight, the rest of the dwarves started to go along with the act as well. All were yelling in obvious exaggeration about their abundance of infestations.

The sky above was turning the pale yellow of dawn, and Billa thought they might just get through this.

Suddenly she spotted a tall, lithe figure moving quickly through the trees. Following it with her eyes, it appeared atop boulder on the edge of the trolls' camp; Gandalf's silhouette before a sun still too low in the sky. No one else seemed to have noticed him yet.

"Dawn will take you all!"

His voice rang out with an other-worldly quality that sent shivers up and down Billa's spine, much the same as it had back at her dining table, when they had all dared to question his judgment. Gandalf lifted his staff and brought it back down upon the boulder with such force, it cracked the stone right down the middle. Half of the structure fell away to reveal a blinding sun that had risen over the horizon.

The trolls screamed in fear and tried to scramble for cover. As the rays of the sun's light touched their skin, their movements slowed and their bodies hardened as they swiftly turned to stone.

Uproarious cheers filled Billa's ears as the dwarves let out their relief and pleasure. There were shouts of gratitude to both her and Gandalf, jests towards the three harmless statues, and already retellings of the evening. Everyone was glad to escape their confines, and Kili and Fili wrapped Billa up in a hug that lifted her from the ground in thanks for her quick thinking.

Thorin stood to the side of their gathering with Gandalf, he did not look pleased at all. Billa could not blame him. After Kili picked her up and swung her around again, her dizziness intensified tenfold, and she stumbled when her feet touched the ground.

"Miss Billa, are you alright?" asked Kili with a hint of uneasiness.

"I'm fine, perfectly fine. Just a little light headed is all. Nothing to worry about," she tried to assure him with a soft pat on his forearm. But when the world did not settle back into place, she thought she should maybe reconsider.

As she turned back to Gandalf to rest outside of the commotion for a while, and most probably have a little sit down, the last thing she saw was Thorin's eyes go wide as he sprang forward toward her.

I hope to update as soon as possible, and the next chapter will probably be up the next few days. My fingers are crossed that you enjoyed it!

Be sure to review!

Lace