Weighing the Risks

Isilarma

Written for 'The Yellow Rose Bowl' competition, using the quote: 'Be courteous to all, but intimate with few, and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence.' I've never written for Remus or Peter before, but I fancied a challenge. I hope you all enjoy it.

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, and am not affiliated with Bloomsbury or Scholastic Inc.

Remus looked from James to Sirius and back again, his usually quick mind still trying to process the shock.

"You're not upset?"

"About the fact that you turn into a furry, raging monster every month?" asked Sirius. "Nah. Your lame excuses on the other hand..."

Remus felt his cheeks heat up as he stared at the bedsheets. "Sorry." Did they really think he should have told them? As if he had ever imagined that they would take it this well.

"Don't worry about it," said James quietly. He flashed a quick grin. "If I was in your position, I'd probably do the same."

Remus still couldn't meet his eyes. They might say it was fine now, but after some time to think about it... Because, really, who would actually feel comfortable sharing a room with a werewolf? His feelings must have shown on his face, because Sirius clapped him on the shoulder.

"It'll be fine," he said breezily. "You're still you most of the time."

"Well yes, but-"

"Then what's the problem?" He jumped off his bed. "I'm hungry."

James rolled his eyes. "Of course you are." He stood up and stretched. "Quick trip to the kitchens then?"

"You read my mind. You coming, Remus?"

Remus shook his head. "No, thanks."

"Fine. Peter?"

Remus tuned out the rest of the conversation. He was rather more concerned about his friends than he was about the prospect of getting food. The clatter of their feet on the staircase caused a surge of irritation; they had just told him they knew he was a werewolf, yet they seemed to consider it a fact barely worth mentioning. Honestly, having courage didn't mean you had to have a complete lack of self-preservation. No matter what they might think, he was dangerous. Sirius might think it was cool, and James might think he was still a good person, but when he was a wolf... Remus couldn't suppress a shudder. They had no idea what they were getting themselves into.

"Are you all right?"

Remus almost fell out of bed. "Peter?" He hadn't realised the other boy was still there. "I thought you went with the others."

Peter gave a slight shrug. "I wasn't hungry."

Remus studied him. Even though they had been friends for over a year, in many ways, Peter was still a mystery to him. He idolised James and Sirius, and he was surprisingly good at coming up with pranks, but he was so quiet that it was difficult to get to know him properly. Remus realised with a slight jolt that he was the only one who hadn't reacted to the confirmation of his condition, and automatically found himself tensing. James and Sirius might be all right with it, but if Peter wasn't, he had no intention of forcing his company on him.

"Remus?"

Remus started and looked up to find Peter still watching him. "Sorry. What were you saying?"

"You okay?"

Remus didn't try to hide his rather bitter smile. "Not really."

Peter's cheeks tinged pink. "Right. Sorry."

Remus hesitated, but he had to know. "Peter, are you okay with this?"

Peter held his gaze for a long moment. "James and Sirius are."

"Yeah, but are you?"

A flicker of surprise crossed Peter's face. "Does it matter?"

Remus frowned at him. "Of course it does. I'm a werewolf, Peter. I'm going to understand if you don't want me around." He wouldn't like it, but he would understand.

"But what about the others?"

Remus shook his head. "Doesn't matter. There's no point in you being uncomfortable just to please them."

Peter's expression turned rather thoughtful. "Oh."

Remus' frown darkened. Were James and Sirius really that domineering? He gave a mental snort at the thought. He knew they were that domineering. They might not mean to be, but it was often a lot easier to go along with them than to oppose them. He shook his head; now he was getting completely off the point.

"So, what do you think?"

Peter rubbed the back of his neck. He couldn't have looked more uncomfortable had he tried, thought Remus with a sinking heart.

"Remus, I..." He took a deep breath. "It's not fine. At all."

Remus felt like he'd been hit over the head with a Bludgeoning Charm. He'd been expecting it; had been for months, but to hear one of his friends say it...He closed his eyes. He really should be used to it by now.

"I'll get my stuff then." His voice sounded horribly flat. He pushed back the sheets and was just getting out of bed when a thin voice stopped him

"I didn't say I wanted you to go."

Remus froze. "What?" He didn't dare to turn round.

"You don't have to go."

"But you said you weren't okay with it. I don't want you to have to put up with me if you don't want to."

There was a sigh. "Remus, you're a werewolf. Of course it's not fine. But that doesn't mean you have to go."

It wasn't often that Remus was confused, but now he would be the first to admit that he didn't have a clue what was going on. "You're not making any sense."

"I know. Sorry. It's just..." There was a pause before Peter continued. "You're a werewolf, and that's scary. And pretty horrible. But it's not like you're a werewolf all the time. Most of the month, you're just Remus. And that's fine."

Remus kept silent. He was still confused, but if Peter was saying what he thought he was...

"Besides, you've been sharing a dormitory with us for the past year and a half. If you were going to hurt one of us, you'd have done it already."

Remus turned then. Peter was sitting up in bed, his ridiculous yellow blanket wrapped round him as he explained himself. His face was screwed up in concentration, but his gaze was very serious as he met Remus'.

"I'm still dangerous."

Peter nodded. "I know. But Dumbledore and the others must have taken precautions or you wouldn't have been able to come."

"They did," Remus admitted. "I go to the Shrieking Shack every month." He tilted his head to one side. "You've thought this through."

Peter's cheeks tinged pink again. "Someone had to."

Remus frowned. "They do know I'm dangerous too, right?"

"They know, but they still think you're you. They think you'll be fine."

"But I'm not." He had a sudden urge to explain, to make someone see why this was a bad idea. "When I transform, I'm not me. I could hurt you, bite you, even kill you, and I wouldn't care. I can't control it, Peter; I've tried, but there is nothing I can do!"

Peter flinched at his raised voice, but he held his gaze. "I know. And we won't do anything stupid. But that doesn't mean we have to stop being friends with you the rest of the time, does it?"

Remus realised his mouth was hanging open, and quickly closed it again. James and Sirius might have been fine with his condition, but they were the same people who had thought it would be a great idea to get Hagrid a pet dragon. They just didn't consider the risks.

But Peter, Peter had thought about this. He knew what he was getting himself into. And he was still all right with it. Sort of. Remus briefly wondered how Peter would have reacted had James and Sirius not been so relaxed, but forced the thought aside. There was no point in dwelling on what might have been.

"Are you sure?"

There was a slight hesitation, but Peter nodded. "Yeah. It's not like it's your fault." A beat. "And I know you woud never deliberately hurt us."

"Never!" He flushed at his outburst, but Peter just gave a small smile. "Thought not. So don't worry about it."

Remus swallowed. "Thank you."

"It's okay." He yawned. "I'm going to sleep. I don't want to fall asleep in History again."

Remus managed a chuckle. "Not like Binns would notice if you did."

"Good point. Night, Remus."

"Night, Peter."

Remus let out a long breath as Peter's snores filled the dormitory. He had never imagined that that conversation would go like that. He had never dared to. But he was very glad to be proven wrong.